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Our Favourite Seinfeld Quotes

  • “It’s not a lie, if you believe it” – George Costanza
  • “Hoochie mama!” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “You need a priest to get rid of this” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “This was supposed to be the summer of George!” – George Costanza
  • “Why should I hire you to be my latex salesman?” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “Are you still master of your domain?” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “These pretzels are making me thirsty!” – George Costanza
  • “Stop freaking me out” – Elaine Benes
  • “Giddy-Up!” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli” – George Costanza
  • “Jerry’s under a lot of pressure. It’s hard being a standup comic- sometimes they don’t laugh” – Elaine Benes
  • “Pity’s very underrated. I like pity. It’s good” – George Costanza
  • “Ask not what I can do for you. Ask what you can do for me” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “You are way past the phone call break up stage” – Elaine Benes
  • “If you look annoyed all the time, people think you’re busy” – George Costanza
  • “My name is George, I’m unemployed and I live at my parents” – George Costanza
  • ·”I work at Vandelay industries” – George Costanza
  • “To the idiotmobile” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “I am Art Vandelay, I am an Importer/Exporter” – George Costanza
  • “You’re an anti-dentite” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “I am speechless: I have no speech” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “I am speechless: I am without speech” – Elaine Benes
  • “You stupid, stubborn, silly man” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “I am freaking out! I am freaking out” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “TCB, You know: Taking care of business” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “A George divided against itself, cannot stand” – George Costanza
  • “You’re killing independent George” – George Costanza
  • “Yada yada yada” – Elaine Benes
  • “Every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in” – George Costanza
  • “Now you listen to me: I want details and I want them right now. I don’t have job , I have no place to go… you’re not in the mood: well you get in the mood” – George Costanza
  • “Hi it’s George, I’ve got nothing to say” – George Costanza
  • “George is getting upset” – George Costanza
  • “But, but I’m disturbed…I’m depressed…I’m inadequate: I
    got it all” – George Costanza
  • “No one’s bigger idiot than me” – George Costanza
  • “I was in the pool, I was in the pool” – George Costanza
  • “I’d like to have a kid…of course you have to have a date
    first” – George Costanza
  • “I know less about women than anyone in the world” – George Costanza
  • “I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me they’re thinking, that’s why I’m not a heterosexual” – George Costanza
  • “I think I can sum up the show for you with one word; Nothing” – George Costanza
  • “Every decision I have ever made in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I wanted to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, is it something to wear, something to eat, it’s all been wrong” – George Costanza
  • “Yeah, I’m a great quitter: it’s one of the few things I do well… I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter… I was raised to give up” – George Costanza
  • “I’m losing it” – George Costanza
  • “My boys can swim” – George Costanza
  • “Hello Newman” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “Hello Jerry” – Newman
  • “No soup for you” – Soup Nazi
  • “Well, lets start the insanity” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “Yo-Yo Ma” – Cosmo Kramer
  • “Get out!” – Elaine Benes
  • “You’re bad man , you’re very very bad man” – Babu
  • “You can stuff your sorrys in a sack, mister” – George Costanza
  • “Not that there’s anything wrong with that” – Jerry Seinfeld