Pilot (July 5, 1989, originally called “The Seinfeld Chronicles”)
1. Good News, Bad News 7/5/89
Jerry doesn’t know what to expect when a woman he met on the road says that she is coming into town. George tries to explain to Jerry how to read the signals. No Elaine.
Season 1 (4 episodes and then the pilot was re-run)
2. The Stakeout 5/31/90
Jerry and George stake out a lawyer’s office building for a woman Jerry met at a party with Elaine.
3. The Robbery 6/7/90
Elaine housesits for Jerry, and the apartment gets robbed. Jerry decides to move, but George and he are after the same apartment.
4. Male Unbonding 6/14/90
Jerry tries to break up with an obnoxious male friend who doesn’t want to let go.
5. The Stock Tip 6/21/90
Jerry and George invest in the stock market. Jerry has a bad weekend with a girlfriend in Vermont
Season 2 (half season with 12 new episodes)
6. The Ex-Girlfriend 1/23/91
Jerry dates George’s ex-girlfriend, who then dumps him because she doesn’t think his stand-up act is funny.
7. The Pony Remark 1/30/91
Jerry offends an elderly relative at a family gathering, and then she dies.
8. The Jacket 2/8/91
Jerry and George meet Elaine’s cranky father. Jerry’s new suede jacket is ruined by snow.
9. The Phone Message 2/13/91
Jerry dates woman who likes Docker’s commercials; George leaves a bad message on a woman’s machine and tries to steal the tape before she can listen to it.
10. The Apartment 4/4/91
Elaine tries to move into Jerry’s building. George tries wearing a wedding ring to attract women.
11. The Statue 4/11/91
Jerry has a man clean his apartment and thinks he may have stolen a statue. Kramer retrieves the statue from the man.
12. The Revenge 4/18/91 George quits his job, Then slips his boss a Mickey. Jerry and Kramer wreak revenge on the laundromat when Jerry loses $100.
13. The Heart Attack 4/25/91
Kramer takes George to a holistic healer after he has an imagined heart attack.
14. The Deal 5/2/91
Jerry and Elaine devise an elaborate system wherein they can be both friends and lovers.
15. The Baby Shower 5/16/91
Jerry gets an illegal cable hook-up. Elaine holds a baby shower in Jerry’s apartment.
16. The Chinese Restaurant 5/23/91
Jerry, Elaine, and George can’t get a table at a Chinese restaurant. George tries to get in touch with his girlfriend.
17. The Busboy 6/26/91
George accidentally gets a busboy fired. When he visits to apologise, he loses the man’s cat. Elaine can’t get rid of an annoying guest.
Season 3 (The first full season – 23 episodes including the first one-hour show)
18. The Note 9/18/91
Jerry, George and Elaine get their insurance to pay for massages by getting a note from a dentist.
19. The Truth 9/25/91
Jerry is audited. George causes his accountant girlfriend to be admitted to a mental hospital.
20. The Pen 10/2/91
Elaine and Jerry visit Jerry’s parents in Florida. Jerry accepts an astronaut pen from his father’s friend.
21. The Dog 10/9/91
Jerry is stuck taking care of a mean dog which belongs to a man he met on an aeroplane.
22. The Library 10/16/91
Jerry is hounded by a library detective to return Tropic Of Capricorn – overdue since 1971. George discovers his old gym teacher is now homeless.
23. The Parking Garage 10/30/91
Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer can’t find their car in a multi-level, shopping carpark. Jerry and George emancipate their bladders.
24. The Cafe 11/6/91
Elaine helps George cheat on an IQ test. Jerry tries to help Baboo, a struggling immigrant restaurant owner.
25. The Tape 11/13/91
Elaine leaves a highly erotic message on Jerry’s tape recorder. George receives a cure for baldness from China.
26. The Nose Job 11/20/91
George frets over his girlfriend’s big nose. When he encourages her to have a nose job, things become worse.
27. The Stranded 11/27/91
Elaine and Jerry are stranded at a party on Long Island. The host shows up at Jerry’s the next week for wine and women. George tries to get even with a drug store.
28. The Alternate Side 12/4/91
Elaine dates an older man. Jerry’s car is stolen and he talks to the thief on his car phone. Kramer labours over his line in a Woody Allen movie shooting on their block.
29. The Red Dot 12/11/91
Elaine finds George a job, so he buys her a discount sweater. George has sex with a cleaning woman at work.
30. The Subway 1/8/92
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer go their separate ways on the subway. Jerry encounters a naked man and Kramer gets a hot tip on a horse. George has a spontaneous erotic encounter.
31. The Pez Dispenser 1/15/92
Jerry makes Elaine laugh at a piano concert given by George’s girlfriend. Kramer has an idea for a perfume which smells like the ocean. Jerry hosts an intervention.
32. The Suicide 1/29/92
George sees a psychic. Jerry dates the girlfriend of a neighbour who is in a coma.
33. The Fix-up 2/5/92
Jerry and Elaine set up George with Elaine’s friend Cynthia. Kramer gives George a defective condom.
34. & 35. The New Friend: The Boyfriend (Part 1), Of Mastodons and Men (Part 2) 2/12/92
(1) Jerry becomes friends with special guest Keith Hernandez, who begins dating Elaine. To stay on unemployment, George converts Jerry’s apartment into Vandelay Industries.
(2) Jerry thinks things are moving too fast with Keith. Newman and Kramer confront Keith about the spitting episode.
36. The Limo 2/26/92
Jerry and George take someone else’s limo from the airport. That ”someone else” turns out to be the leader of the Aryan Union.
37. The Good Samaritan 3/4/92
Jerry follows woman who he sees do a hit and run and ends up dating her. Kramer starts having mysterious seizures.
38. The Letter 3/25/92
Jerry’s girlfriend paints “The Kramer”. Jerry breaks up with her then receives a plagiarised letter from her.
39. The Parking Space 4/22/92
George’s dispute over a parking spot in front of Jerry’s building puts the neighbourhood in an uproar. Jerry is accused of being a phony.
40. The Keys 5/6/92
Kramer is using Jerry’s apartment too much, so Jerry takes his keys back. Kramer leaves town for LA.
Season 4 (24 episodes including 2 two-parters and 2 hour-long shows)
41. The Trip (Part 1) 8/12/92
Jerry performs on The Tonight Show and brings George with him. Kramer tries to make it in Hollywood while a rash of murders sweep the town.
42. The Trip (Part 2) 8/19/92
Jerry and George attempt to save Kramer from a serial-murder accusation.
43. & 44. The Pitch / The Ticket 9/16/92
(1) Jerry and George pitch a show about nothing to NBC. George begins dating Susan, an NBC executive. Kramer is kicked in the head by Crazy Joe Divola.
(2) Kramer is feeling the effects of Crazy Joe Divola’s kick. Newman attempts to lie his way out of a speeding ticket, with Kramer’s help.
45. The Wallet (Part 1) 9/23/92
Jerry’s father thinks somebody stole his wallet at the doctor’s surgery. Jerry throws out the watch he received from his parents.
46. The Watch (Part 2) 9/30/92
Jerry tries to get his watch back from Uncle Leo. Elaine meets Crazy Joe Divola. George bargains with NBC.
47. The Bubble Boy 10/7/92
Jerry and Elaine become lost on their way to Susan’s cabin. George and Susan meet a ”bubble boy”.
48. The Cheever Letters 10/28/92
A gay relationship is discovered in Susan’s father’s past. Jerry talks dirty to Elaine’s secretary. Kramer goes to the Cuban embassy to buy more cigars.
49. The Opera 11/4/92
Elaine dates Crazy Joe Divola and Jerry runs into him at the opera.
50. The Virgin 11/11/92
Elaine insults Jerry’s virgin girlfriend and runs over Ping the delivery boy. George gets Susan fired.
51. The Contest 11/18/92
Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine bet on who can wait longer to masturbate. John F. Kennedy Jr. presents Elaine with a problem.
52. The Airport 11/25/92
Jerry flies first class while Elaine flies coach. George and Kramer wait for them at the airport.
53. The Pick 12/16/92
A woman sees Jerry picking his nose. Elaine sends out a Christmas photo which reveals her nipple. Calvin Klein steals Kramer’s idea for Ocean perfume.
54. The Movie 1/6/93
Jerry tries to coordinate a couple of shows and a movie. Elaine, Kramer and George wait for Jerry at the theatre.
55. The Visa 1/27/93
George dates the lawyer who is handling Ping’s case against Elaine, and asks Jerry not to be funny in front of her. Baboo is deported when his naturalisation papers end up in the wrong hands.
56. The Shoes 2/4/93
George is caught looking at the NBC president’s daughter’s cleavage. Elaine gives up her new shoes in order to help Jerry.
57. The Outing 2/11/93
An NYU journalist thinks Jerry and George are gay. For Jerry’s birthday, Kramer gives him a two-line phone and Elaine gives him a Bette Midler CD.
58. The Old Man 2/18/93
Jerry, George and Elaine volunteer to help senior citizens. Kramer and Newman try to make money selling records.
59. The Implant 2/25/93
Jerry suspects his girlfriend (Teri Hatcher) has implants. George tries to get half price on an airfare when his girlfriend Betsy’s relative dies, and he double-dips.
60. The Junior Mint 3/18/93
Kramer & Jerry get to watch an operation, but have a scuffle over Junior Mints. Jerry doesn’t know his girlfriend’s name, but he knows it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy.
61. The Smelly Car 4/15/93
A valet stinks up Jerry’s car. George discovers Susan had a female lover.
62. The Handicap Spot 5/13/93
While buying a TV for the Drake, the gang park in handicap spot, causing a disabled woman to have an accident.
63. & 64. The Pilot 5/20/93
(1) Jerry and George cast their sitcom. Kramer has some intestinal problems. George has a strange spot on his face.
(2) The pilot episode of Jerry is taped, with a surprise appearance by Crazy Joe Divola, while the president of NBC disappears
Season 5 (22 episodes with one one-hour show)
65. The Mango 9/16/93
Jerry learns Elaine faked her orgasms and begs for a chance to prove his skill. George experiences impotence. Kramer is banned from the fruit stand when he tries to return a mango.
66. The Puffy Shirt 9/23/93
Kramer dates a low-talker. Jerry agrees to wear a puffy shirt on The Today Show. George moves in with his parents.
67. The Glasses 9/30/93
George thinks his glasses were stolen. Elaine is bitten by a rabid dog. Jerry accuses his girlfriend of kissing his cousin.
68. The Sniffing Accountant 10/7/93
George interviews for a bra sales position and feels an executive’s material. Jerry and Kramer think their accountant is on drugs and Kramer goes undercover. Elaine breaks up with her boyfriend over an exclamation point.
69. The Bris 10/14/93
Elaine & Jerry become godparents and help with the Bris. Kramer tries to save pigman. A suicide damages George’s car.
70. The Lip Reader 10/28/93
Kramer becomes a tennis ball boy. Jerry dates a deaf lineswoman who agrees to read a woman’s lips for George. Elaine says she’s deaf to avoid talking to her chauffeur.
71. The Non-Fat Yogurt 11/4/93
Jerry and Elaine have so-called fat-free yoghurt tested and put the owner out of business.
72. The Barber 11/11/93
Jerry tries to switch barbers without getting caught. George shows up for a job he isn’t sure he actually got.
73. The Masseuse 11/18/93
Elaine dates Joel Rifkin. Jerry dates a masseuse who won’t give him a massage and who doesn’t like George.
74. The Cigar-Store Indian 12/9/93
Jerry offends a Native American with his gift to Elaine. Kramer has an idea for a coffee table book … about coffee tables.
75. The Conversion 12/16/93
George converts to Latvian Orthodox. Jerry thinks his girlfriend has a fungus. Kramer has the Kavorka.
76. The Stall 1/6/94
Jerry’s girlfriend ”can’t spare a square” of toilet paper for Elaine in the restroom. Elaine dates himbo (Dan Cortese) who George has a non-sexual crush on. Kramer encounters a familiar voice on a phone sex line.
77. The Dinner Party 2/3/94
Jerry and Elaine have trouble buying Babka. Jerry becomes sick from a black and white cookie. George and Kramer are blocked in by Saddam Hussein.
78. The Marine Biologist 2/10/94
George pretends to be marine biologist to impress a woman and ends up saving a whale. Elaine’s organiser hits a woman on the head.
79. The Pie 2/17/94
Jerry’s date won’t taste apple pie. Jerry witnesses a health violation and won’t taste Poppy’s pizza. George camps out for a swish suit in a store which has a mannequin that looks like Elaine.
80. The Stand-In 2/24/94
Kramer’s small friend Mickey is caught using lifts in his shoes. George is accused of not committing.
81. The Wife 3/17/94
Jerry pretends to be married to get his girlfriend (Courteney Cox) a discount on dry cleaning. George is seen peeing in the shower.
82. & 83. The Raincoats 4/28/94
(1) Elaine dates a close-talker (Judge Reinhold) who becomes obsessed with entertaining Jerry’s parents. George is conned into volunteering for a big brother program.
(2) Kramer and Jerry’s dad try to sell some old raincoats. Jerry is busted for making out during Schindler’s List.
84. The Fire 5/5/94
George knocks over a grandmother as he runs to get away from a kitchen fire. Jerry heckles Kramer’s obnoxious girlfriend and a streetcleaner severs her pinky-toe. Kramer saves the day.
85. The Hamptons 5/12/94
Everyone sees George’s girlfriend topless, except George. Jerry’s girlfriend, who doesn’t understand shrinkage, sees George naked after he was in the pool. Kramer steals a lobster.
86. The Opposite 5/19/94
Fed up with making all the wrong moves, George tries doing the opposite of all his instincts, with great success. Elaine loses a boyfriend and her job because she likes Juicy Fruits. Jerry is even-Steven.
Season 6 (24 episodes include a 1 hour highlights show)
87. The Chaperone 9/22/94
Jerry dates Miss Rhode Island. Kramer tries to help her in the pageant. Elaine finds a new job with Mr Pitt, an eccentric businessman.
88. The Big Salad 9/29/94
Jerry dates a woman who dated Newman and it drives him crazy. George buys a big salad for Elaine, then accuses his girlfriend of taking credit for it.
89. The Pledge Drive 10/6/94
Elaine’s friend Noreen dates a high-talker. Jerry volunteers to host a pledge drive for PBS. George gets the finger.
90. The Chinese Woman 10/13/94
Jerry dates a white woman with a Chinese name. George’s parents decide to get a divorce. Noreen dates the long-talker.
91. The Couch 10/27/94
Jerry gets a new couch, which Poppie then pees on. Elaine dates the man who delivered the couch, but wonders about his stand on abortion.
92. The Gymnast 11/3/94
Jerry dates a Romanian gymnast, but neither is physically satisfied. Kramer passes a kidney stone. George eats out of the garbage.
93. The Soup 11/10/94
Jerry gets a free suit, but has to take Banya out to dinner in return (but is soup a dinner?). George asks a waitress on a date, but she soon becomes disinterested.
94. The Mom and Pop Store 11/17/94
George buys a car which belonged to Jon Voight. Kramer patronises a Mom and Pop shoe repair shop and inadvertently gets them closed down. Jerry crashes a Thanksgiving Day party.
95. The Secretary 12/8/94
George hires a secretary. Jerry thinks his dry cleaner has been wearing his clothes. Elaine searches for a good mirror while Kramer sells the clothes off his back.
96. The Race 12/15/94
Kramer finds a job as Santa. Jerry must defend his high school running record.
97. The Switch 1/5/95
Kramer’s first name is revealed. Jerry tries to dump his girlfriend and date her roommate.
98. The Label Maker 1/19/95
George dates a woman with a male roommate. Jerry’s Superbowl tickets are passed around. Elaine investigates a re-gifter.
99. The Scofflaw 1/26/95
Jerry’s friend fakes cancer to elicit sympathy. Newman turns out to be a legendary scofflaw. George gets a hairpiece.
100. & 101. Highlights of a Hundred 2/2/95
Highlights Of A Hundred (One-hour special)Clip show.
102. The Beard 2/9/95
Elaine converts a gay man. Jerry dates a policewoman who gives him a lie detector test when he claims he’s never seen Melrose Place.
103. The Kiss Hello 2/16/95
In order to establish a friendlier environment, Kramer puts up pictures of everyone in the building. Jerry becomes a pariah in the building by refusing to kiss his neighbours hello.
104. The Doorman 2/23/95
Jerry is terrorised by the doorman at Mr Pitt’s building. Kramer and George’s father design a male bra.
105. The Jimmy 3/16/95
Jimmy talks in the third person. A series of misunderstandings makes Kramer the guest of honour at a dinner for the mentally handicapped. Jerry’s dentist violates him while he’s under.
106. The Doodle 4/6/95
Jerry gets fleas from Newman and has to have his apartment fumigated. George finds a woman who doesn’t care how he looks.
107. The Fuscilli Jerry 4/27/95
Jerry has to find a new mechanic. Due to a mix-up, Kramer ends up with ASSMAN vanity plates. A pasta sculpture prompts an emergency visit to the REAL Assman.
108. The Diplomat’s Club 5/4/95
Elaine almost quits her job, then is fired because Jerry is accused of trying to kill Mr. Pitt. George tries to find a black friend.
109. The Face Painter 5/11/95
George says “I love you” to his girlfriend, but there is a communication breakdown. Kramer can’t get along with a monkey. Jerry refuses to place a “thank you” call and Elaine dates a guy who paints his face for a hockey game.
110. The Understudy 5/18/95
George knocks over Bette Midler at softball game and Kramer takes care of her. Jerry dates a Broadway understudy who cries all the time.
Season 7 (24 episodes with 2 one-hour shows)
111. The Engagement 9/21/95
George and Jerry decide to change their life and only George does – he proposes to Susan; Elaine tries to get rid of a barking dog.
112. The Postponement 9/28/95
George convinces Susan to postpone the wedding date. Elaine is jealous of George, and confides in a Rabbi who then blabs to everyone.
113. The Maestro 10/5/95
Kramer sues a coffee shop chain because his coffee was too hot. Elaine dates a conductor, who insists on being called ‘Maestro’. Jerry discovers he can rent a villa in Tuscany.
114. The Wink 10/12/95
A few culinary peculiarities make George look like a thief. Jerry loses his appetite when he dates Elaine’s carnivorous cousin.
115. The Hot Tub 10/19/95
Jerry tries to help Elaine’s friend make it to the marathon on time. Kramer gets a hot tub.
116. The Soup Nazi 11/2/95
Jerry and his ”shmoopy” girlfriend annoy George. Elaine has a falling out with a temperamental soup chef. Elaine’s furniture is stolen when Kramer is intimidated by a couple of effeminate street toughs.
117. The Secret Code 11/9/95
George won’t tell Susan his ATM code. Kramer gets an emergency scanner and balks at the fire station’s poor route choices. When his leg falls asleep, Jerry offends a handicapped store-owner.
118. The Pool Guy 11/16/95
Jerry attempts to get rid of an annoying pool attendant who thinks Jerry is his friend. Worlds collide when Susan begins spending time with George’s friends.
119. The Sponge 12/7/95
Elaine discovers contraceptive sponges have been taken off the market and has to raise her standards due to limited supply. George hopes for make-up sex, only to be caught without a sponge. Kramer walks for AIDS but won’t wear a red ribbon.
120. The Gum 12/14/95
Kramer befriends a man who had a nervous breakdown, and forces Jerry to help. George’s friend thinks he’s mentally ill.
121. The Rye 1/4/96
George’s parents reclaim a rye bread which Susan’s parents did not serve at their dinner together. George hatches a complex plan to replace it. Kramer drives a horse and buggy and feeds the horse Beefarino.
122. The Caddy 1/25/96
When George leaves his car at work, his bosses think he’s been working extra hard. Elaine gives her perpetually bra-less friend some support, with unexpected results. Kramer sues, but a key piece of evidence doesn’t fit.
123. The Seven 2/1/96
Jerry dates a woman who always wears the same outfit. George and Susan argue over baby names. Kramer and Elaine fight over a bike.
124. & 125. The Cadillac 2/8/96
(1) When he gets an unusually large paycheck, Jerry decides to buy a Cadillac for his father. George finds out he’s Marisa Tomei’s type. Kramer hides from the cable guy.
(2) George meets Marisa, but then tells her he’s engaged. Jerry’s dad is impeached by his Resident’s Association because of his new car and charges of embezzlement.
126. The Shower Head 2/15/96
Kramer and Jerry’s apartment building gets low-flow shower heads, forcing them to seek black market heads. Elaine’s drug test shows opium use after she eats poppy seed bagels. George tries to get his parents to move to Florida.
127. The Doll 2/22/96
George is freaked out by a doll of Susan’s which looks like his mother. Kramer plays pool sans pants with George’s father and the Maestro.
128. The Friar’s Club 3/7/96
Jerry accidentally walks out of the Friar’s Club with their borrowed sports jacket, only to have it stolen at a magic show. Elaine thinks guest star Rob Schneider is feigning deafness to avoid work. Kramer goes on a low-sleep schedule.
129. The Wig Master 4/4/96
Elaine dates a salesperson who leads her on with the promise of a big discount. Kramer gets to wear the dream coat from Joseph And The Technicolour Dreamcoat.
130. The Calzone 4/28/96
George gets in good with George Steinbrenner by bringing him calzones for lunch, but ends up being banned from the pizzeria for trying to steal from the tip jar. Jerry dates a beautiful woman who can get away with anything.
131. & 132. The Bottle Deposit 5/2/96
(1) J. Peterman has Elaine buy JFK’s golf clubs for him at an auction. Jerry takes his car to an obsessive mechanic, who steals it, along with the clubs, when he realises Jerry is not treating it properly.
(2) Jerry visits the scene of a ghastly car stripping. Kramer and Newman haul bottles and cans to Michigan to cash in on a recycling refund discrepancy. On the way, they encounter the mechanic in Jerry’s car and a sultry farmer’s daughter.
133. The Wait Out 5/9/96
George makes a comment which causes a couple to consider divorce and Jerry and Elaine try to move in. Kramer buys tight jeans.
134. The Invitations 5/16/96
Susan dies from toxic glue on the cheap wedding invitations which George insisted on. Jerry proposes to guest star Janeane Garofalo, who is just like him
Season 8 (22 episodes)
135. The Foundation 9/19/96
J. Peterman becomes unhinged and leaves the company in Elaine’s hands. George finds that even death cannot separate him from Susan.
136. The Soul Mate 9/26/96
Jerry isn’t too interested in his new girlfriend until he discovers Kramer has a thing for her. Elaine meets a guy just like her
137. The Bizarro Jerry 10/3/96
Elaine finds friends who are the exact opposites of Jerry, George and Kramer. Kramer gets a day job. George dates a model and tastes life in the elite.
138. The Little Kicks 10/10/96
Elaine reveals a special talent for dancing. Jerry gets swept up in the art of bootlegging.
139 The Package 10/17/96
Elaine’s doctor thinks she is difficult. George develops an odd relationship with his photo developer. Jerry runs into some trouble with a package.
140. The Fatigues 10/31/96
Elaine promotes an employee because she’s scared to fire him. Jerry and George learn about the mentor/protege relationship. Kramer convinces Frank Costanza to cook again
141. The Checks 11/7/96
Kramer becomes a guide for Japanese tourists. George and Jerry try to sell the Jerry pilot to Japanese TV. Elaine’s new boyfriend is a desperado.
142. The Chicken Roaster 11/14/96
Elaine gets in trouble for using the company expense account. A Kenny Rogers Roaster goes up across from Jerry’s building, throwing his and Kramer’s lives into disarray.
143 The Abstinence 11/21/96
George becomes smarter when he stops having sex, but for Elaine it has the opposite effect. Jerry is bumped at a junior high assembly gig. Kramer starts a smoking club.
144. The Andrea Doria 12/19/96
George tries to out-suffer a shipwreck survivor. Jerry and Newman form a temporary alliance. Elaine has a bad break-up.
145 The Little Jerry 1/9/97
Kramer and Jerry become entangled in the world of cock fighting. George dates a convict. Elaine’s new boyfriend comes to terms with baldness.
146 The Money 1/16/97
J. Peterman returns and puts Elaine back in her old job. Jerry and his parents fight over money and the Cadillac. Kramer’s girlfriend is giving him the “jimmy leg.”
147 The Comeback 1/30/97
Jerry takes advice from a tennis shop worker who isn’t exactly a pro. George goes (far) out of his way to zing a jerky co-worker.
148 The Van Buren Boys 2/6/97
Jerry dates a loser. George interviews students for a scholarship. Kramer sells his life stories to J. Peterman.
149 The Susie 2/13/97
Kramer and George break up. Elaine suffers some name confusion at work. Jerry’s new girlfriend uses fungicide.
150 The Pothole 2/20/97
Jerry drops his girlfriend’s toothbrush into the toilet and George drops his keys in a pothole. Kramer adopts a highway. Elaine has to become a janitor to get her flounder delivered.
151 The English Patient 3/13/97
Kramer has Jerry pick up some “Cubans” for him while he’s in Florida. Elaine can’t understand why everyone loves The English Patient. Jerry gets on the bad side of a high-testosterone family.
152 The Nap 4/10/97
George takes to sleeping underneath his desk at work. Kramer takes to swimming in the East River. Jerry gets a new set of kitchen cabinets and Elaine’s boyfriend buys her a mattress.
153 The Yada Yada 4/24/97
George dates a very succinct girl. Jerry’s dentist becomes a Jew, for the jokes. Kramer and Mickey fight over women.
154 The Millennium 5/1/97
Kramer and Newman both plan parties for New Year’s 2000. George tries to get fired so he can take a better job with the Mets. Jerry’s girlfriend is very particular about her speed-dialer.
155 The Muffin Tops 5/8/97
Elaine gives Lippman the idea to open a muffin shop, “Top of the Muffin to You!” Jerry finds that shaving is a slippery slope. George is mistaken for a tourist by a tour guide. When Peterman’s book is published with Kramer’s life stories, Kramer starts a “Peterman Reality Tour.”
156 The Summer of George 5/15/97
George finds out he gets three months severance pay and plans to spend some time with himself. Jerry’s new girlfriend has another “dude”. Elaine gets catty with guest star Molly Shannon. Kramer wins a Tony and has a showdown with Raquel Welch.
Season 9 (24 episodes with a 2 hour finale)
157. The Butter Shave 9/25/97
George gets a job because the employer thinks he’s handicapped. Kramer discovers the wonderful, horrible effects of butter on human skin. Elaine and Putty (the face painter) take a long trip home. Jerry thinks Banya is riding his wake.
158. The Voice 10/2/97
Jerry can’t decide which he likes better: his girlfriend or the funny voice that drives her crazy. Kramer gets an intern and George refuses to leave his job. Elaine and Putty can’t seem to break it off.
159. The Serenity Now 10/9/97
Jerry starts to feel emotions and George becomes a computer salesman for his father, along with Lloyd Brawn. Kramer installs a front porch and has some problems with the neighbourhood kids. Elaine has to fight off the Lippmans because of her “shiksa appeal.”
160. The Blood 10/16/97
Kramer doesn’t like the interest rates, so he withdraws his deposits from the blood bank. Elaine tries to prove she’s responsible by baby-sitting her friend’s ill-behaved child. George finds himself conflating food, sex and television. Jerry also has issues with food, exercise and blood.
161. The Junk Mail 10/30/97
An old friend gives Jerry a van as payment for a gig. Kramer wages an anti-mail campaign and finds himself a (post) marked man. George’s parents are fed up with him, but quite taken with each other. Elaine thinks she’s in love with The Wiz.
162. The Merv Griffin Show 11/06/97
Kramer finds the old Merv Griffin Show set and brings it home. Elaine’s new co-worker is a “sidler”. Jerry’s girlfriend has a boffo collection of toys, but she won’t let him play with them. George and the pigeons can’t come to an agreement.
163. The Slicer 11/13/97
Kramer’s life is changed by a meat slicer. George has to alter his new, apathetic boss’s photographic evidence of “the boom box incident”. Jerry dates a life-saving dermatologist.
164. The Betrayal 11/20/97
The backwards episode. Jerry sleeps with the woman George is seeing. Elaine travels to India to show up Sue Ellen Mishkie. Kramer has a battle of the hexes with his friend FDR.
165. The Apology 12/11/97
George is enraged when an alcoholic friend refuses to make amends with him. Jerry learns about good and bad naked. Elaine’s co-worker doesn’t like her germs. Kramer lives it up in the shower.
166. The Strike 12/18/97
After 12 years, Kramer goes back to work. George dreads the annual celebration of Festivus. Jerry dates a two-faced woman. Elaine tries to get her free sub stub back from a loser she met at a party.
167. The Dealership 1/8/98
Jerry tries to get an insider deal on a new car from David Putty, who is no longer a “grease monkey”, but Elaine breaks up with him too soon. Meanwhile, George tries to track down his stolen Twix bar, and Kramer puts a prospective automobile through his daily routine.
168. The Reverse Peephole 1/15/98
Kramer and Newman reverse their peepholes to prevent an ambush, getting them in trouble with the super. David Putty wears a man fur. Jerry starts carrying something that is not a purse. George’s wallet causes him back problems which only somebody else’s massage chair can fix.
169. The Cartoon 1/29/98
Elaine tries to prove a New Yorker cartoon isn’t funny. Kramer causes so much trouble he swears off talking. A struggling actress friend of Jerry’s (Kathy Griffin) writes a one-woman show, titled Jerry Seinfeld Is The Devil. George dates a woman who looks like Jerry.
170. The Strongbox 2/5/98
Kramer buys a strong box for his valuables, but can’t find a suitable hiding place for the key. George’s girlfriend won’t agree to break up with him. Elaine’s new boyfriend lives a life of mystery – is he a superhero? Jerry refuses to hold the door to his building for a stranger, only to find out it’s his next door neighbour.
171. The Wizard 2/26/98
Jerry’s father only uses the Wizard PDA Jerry gave him for his birthday as a tip calculator. Kramer retires to Boca Vista and runs for community board president. Elaine becomes involved in an interracial relationship … she thinks.
172. The Burning 3/19/98
Elaine discovers Putty listens to religious radio and begins to wonder if she’s going to hell. George discovers a principle of showmanship – always leave on a high note – and ends up a little too appreciated at Kruger. Kramer and Mickey get a gig feigning ailments for medical students. Jerry’s girlfriend gives him the “It’s me” on the phone and leaves him wondering about “the tractor story”.
173. The Bookstore 4/9/98
George is forced to buy an expensive book when he takes it into a bookstore bathroom. Jerry catches Uncle Leo shoplifting and turns him in. Kramer and Newman hire the homeless to pull rickshaws. Will Elaine do the little kicks?
174. The Frogger 4/23/98
George tries to buy a Frogger machine in order to preserve his decade-old high score. Jerry’s new girlfriend is a sentence finisher. Elaine takes a stand against meaningless office parties.
175. The Maid 4/30/98
Jerry sleeps with the maid and she stops cleaning his apartment, so why is he still paying her? When her phone number turns into a fax party line, Elaine gets stuck with a 646 number. George tries to earn himself a cool nickname and Kramer has to learn to cope with a “long distance” relationship.
176. The Puerto Rican Day 5/7/98
The gang is stuck in traffic on the way home from a Mets game on account of the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Elaine tries to make it home on her own. Jerry gets in a feud with a driver in a maroon Golf. George tries to bring wit to a screening of Hindenberg: A Love Story only to be upstaged by a laser pointer.
The Clip Episode
A look back at memorable moments from all nine seasons.
177. – 180. The Finale 5/14/98 (code name:A Hard Nut to Crack)
The new president at NBC gives Jerry and George a 13-episode deal on the long-forgotten Jerry pilot. The gang decides to celebrate by going to Paris on the NBC corporate jet, only to be stranded in a small Massachusetts town. Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine are put on trial for standing by as an obese man is robbed. Faces from their past (including Baboo, the bubble boy, the soup nazi, the virgin and the low talker) are called as character witnesses in the trial presided over by Judge Art Vandeley.