Pilot Summer 1989 (series is titled The Seinfeld Chronicles)
“Good News, Bad News”
gs: Lee Garlington [ Claire ], Pamela Brull [ Laura ] A girl Jerry met on the road wants to stay with
him when she comes to New York. George thinks that she is just using Jerry as contingency plan.
Hoffman (Kramer) comes by to borrow a couple of pieces of meat. The girl calls and asks Jerry if
she can stay at his apartment for the night, when she arrives she asks to stay for another night.
Jerry is disappointed when everything is going his way until he finds out she is engaged.
b: 5 Jul 89 pc: 101 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Art Wolff
NOTE: In this episode, Jerry refers to Kramer as Kessler, because we later learn in “The
Betrayal” this was the name on the buzzer for Kramer’s apartment. This also discounts the fact
that Kramer has sublet the apartment from Paul Buchman from Mad About You in an episode of
that series that aired after “The Virgin.” I suppose that Buchman could have sublet the apartment
to someone named Kessler before Kramer had moved in. As strange as Kramer can be, perhaps
he thought it best to not let anyone know he lived there and never changed the name.
In the TV Guide entry for this episode, his character is credited as Hoffman. I assume that this is
the way it appeared in the script somewhere along the way. There were probably a number of
name changes for this character, while Kenny Kramer was deciding whether or not his name
could be used.
1st Season Spring 1990 (series is re-titled Seinfeld)
gs: Lynn Clark [ Vanessa ], Phil Bruns [ Morty Seinfeld ], Maud Winchester [ Pamela ], William
Fair [ Roger ], Ron Steelman [ Artie Levine ], Joe George [ Uncle Mac ], Ellen Gerstein [ Carol ],
Janet Rotblatt [ Woman ] rc: Helen
Elaine brings Jerry to a birthday party where he meets a woman who fascinates him. Jerry
doesn’t know her name and wants to meet her again, so on some advice from his father, he and
George stakeout the lobby of the building she works in.
b: 31 May 90 pc: 103 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: When this episode is shown in syndication, Phil Bruns still plays Jerry’s dad (a role later
assumed by Barney Martin). This is unlike George’s dad, who was played by one actor, replaced
by Jerry Stiller, and footage was re-shot with Jerry taking over the original dad’s part in “The
Viewer Mike Greenhaus reminds me that this is the first episode that George uses the name Art
Vandelay. The name of Vandelay would be used again in “The Boyfriend” and many other
episodes. Another viewer, Jeremy DeMai, also notes that George first mentions his fetish for
wanting to be an architect.
Viewer Ross Raniere remembers that when this episode was rerun on NBC, Jerry and Julia come
on in a bumper before the show started. Jerry mentions how many episodes they’ve done so far,
with Julia sitting next to him on the set’s couch. He then said, “And this is the very first one we
did.” Jerry then says something about “the chemistry” and just as the bumper was about to fade,
he and Julia embraced each other as if they were going to kiss. This of course was the first
episode that Jerry and Julia had done together. Jerry discounted the Seinfeld Chronicles episode.
gs: Anita Wise [ Waitress ], James F. Dean [ Larry ], Kimberley Kates [ Diane ], Bradford English [
Cop ], David Blackwood [ Man #1 ], George Simms [ Man #2 ] While out of town Jerry’s
apartment gets robbed (Kramer left the door open); so he considers moving. However, the
apartment that George shows him is also an apartment that he wants, so they try to decide who
will get it. Whoever wins, Elaine wants their apartment. Meanwhile, Kramer searches for the
b: 7 Jun 90 pc: 104 w: Matt Goldman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Kyle Westphal notes that Jerry tells Elaine that is she needs to have sex while watching
his apartment, do it in the tub. Later in “The English Patient”, Elaine says, “Sex in a tub, that
gs: Kevin Dunn [ Joel ], Anita Wise [ Waitress ], Frank Piazza [ Customer ], Kimberley LaMarque [
Teller ] Jerry ponders a few courses of action when he sees that he no longer has anything in
common with a clingy and obnoxious childhood friend. George has trouble with his latest
relationship. Kramer has the idea to open a chain of make-your-own-pizza parlors and is looking
b: 14 Jun 90 pc: 102 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
“The Stock Tip”
gs: Lynn Clark [ Vanessa ], Ted Davis [ Dry Cleaner ], Jill C. Klein [ Waitress ], Benjamin Lum [
Stock Boy ] Jerry and George get some inside information that gives them hope for a new stock.
Elaine has trouble with her boyfriend’s cats. She’s allergic to them. Jerry plans his first weekend
trip with Vanessa. George says they are “relationship killers.” Kramer has an idea for a roll-out tie
dispenser and warns Jerry about the market. Jerry becomes worried when the stock drops and
they have trouble locating the broker who has information on when to sell their stock. They find
out he’s in the hospital. Jerry confronts his dry cleaner about his shirt. Elaine considers the cat
problem. Anxious Jerry sells; George plans to go down with the ship. Jerry’s trip is a disaster, but
the stock turns okay for George.
b: 21 Jun 90 pc: 105 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
2nd Season Winter 1991
gs: Tracy Kolis [ Marlene ], Karen Barcus [ Receptionist ] George has doubts about his current
relationship that he broke off. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her
building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George’s
ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it
off with her, she has this “psycho-sexual” hold over him and he becomes worried about what
George might think if he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and
Jerry’s relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act.
b: 23 Jan 91 pc: 201 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: A glitch was just recently pointed out to me by Eric Wilks. I had listed the original air date
for this episode as 16 Jan. Well, every network’s programming that evening was preempted for
the start of something called “The Gulf War.” Gee was it that long ago? Anyhow, the first episode
of the season was delayed and shown a week later.
Kyle Westphal notes that George wants his books back, only later we now that George will do
anything not to read. Such as in “The Couch”. He mentions that Books on Tape have spoiled him
“The Fatigues”. Perhaps he will changes his ways when he says he’ll read a book cover to cover
in “The Summer of George”. I doubt it.
“The Pony Remark”
gs: Rozsika Halmos [ Manya ], David Fresco [ Isaac ], Scott N. Stevens [ Intern ], Earl Boen [
Eulogist ] rc: Helen, Morty, Uncle Leo
Jerry’s parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won’t
complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine to the
dinner and he makes an observation about children who have ponies, this remark offends the
guest of honor. When she dies soon afterwards, Jerry wonders if he should go to the funeral or
go to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate of the apartment, when she
hears the widower is moving to Arizona. George wonders if it will ever be possible for him to have
b: 30 Jan 91 pc: 202 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
gs: Lawrence Tierney [ Alton Benes ], Frantz Turner [ Salesman ], Susanne Spoke [ Customer ],
Harry Hart-Browne [ Manager ] Jerry buys a real expensive new suede jacket with a colorful inner
lining. George has a song from Les Miserables that he just can’t get out of his mind. Kramer is
supposed pickup a magician friend’s doves, and needs someone to help him for two minutes;
Elaine takes on the job. Kramer promises she’ll get “a lift” to the hotel where Jerry and George
are meeting her and her father, Alton Benes, an author cut from Hemingway cloth. Jerry and
George suffer while waiting with Elaine’s father. When it begins to snow, Jerry turns his new
jacket inside out, to protect it, but Alton Benes doesn’t want to be seen on the street with him.
b: 6 Feb 91 pc: 205 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
“The Phone Message”
gs: Tory Polone [ Carol ], Gretchen German [ Donna ] George blows an invitation upstairs with his
latest girlfriend and then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier
messages on her answering machine. He gets the chance to prevent her from hearing her
messages by having Jerry switch the tape out of her machine, while he distracts her. Jerry and
his girlfriend have a disagreement about TV commercial for pants commercial and his telling his
friends about their conflict.
b: 13 Feb 91 pc: 207 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
gs: Tony Plana [ Manny ], Glenn Shadix [ Harold ], Jeanine Jackson [ Roxanne ], Leslie Neale [
Rita ], Theresa Randle [ Janice ], Patricia Amaye Thomson [ Susie ], Melody Ryane [ Joanne ],
David Blackwood [ Stan ] Kramer tries mousse in his hair. Jerry gets Elaine an opportunity to get
the apartment right above him, before he realizes the possible implications. George tests the
“man with a wedding band” theory of meeting women.
b: 4 Apr 91 pc: 208 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
gs: Michael D. Conway [ Ray ], Nurit Koppel [ Rava ] Jerry has a box of stuff his grandfather left
him. Inside is an interesting looking statue that could replace one George’s parents had years
ago, but he broke. George plans to pick the statue up later but in the meantime he tells his
parents about the replacement statue. Meanwhile the boyfriend of a bitter Finnish author (whose
latest work Elaine is going to edit) is going to clean Jerry’s apartment. When Jerry returns to his
apartment it is cleaned beyond reason. Later when Jerry and Elaine are at the author’s
apartment, they see the statue on her mantelpiece. Getting it back may jeopardize Elaine’s
chance at being an editor, but save George from his parent’s wrath.
b: 11 Apr 91 pc: 210 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
gs: Fred Applegate [ Levitan ], John Capodice [ Vic ], Teri Austin [ Ava ], Patrika Darbo [ Glenda ],
Marcus Smythe [ Dan ], John Hillner [ Greeny ], Deck McKenzie [ Bill ], Larry David [ Voice of
Newman (uncredited) ] rc: Newman (uncredited voice only in syndicated reruns (see note))
George quits his job in a huff after he is demoted to using the regular bathroom. Newman tells
Kramer that he plans to jump off the building. Jerry suggests that George just go back into work
next Monday morning and pretend like nothing happened; however, that doesn’t work. Newman
jumps, from the second floor. George plots revenge, and with Elaine’s help, tries to slip his boss
“a Mickey.” Jerry suspects that his launderer is a larcenist after he discovers that $1500 he had
stashed in his laundry bag is missing. Kramer helps Jerry get revenge by bringing a bag of
concrete in to put into one of the wash machines.
b: 18 Apr 91 pc: 212 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: While thinking about new career opportunities, George mentions that he might get a job
working for a sports team, something he’ll realize later. Newman, whom we never see, is said to
be unemployed; however, later in the series we learn he is a postal worker. For the syndicated
rerun, Wayne Knight supplies the voice of the never seen Newman. For the original network
broadcasts Larry David provided the voice for Newman.
“The Heart Attack”
gs: Stephen Tobolowsky [ Tor ], John Posey [ Dr. Fein ], John Fleck [ Attendant ], Jimmy
Woodward [ Driver ], Pat Hazell [ Man in Other Bed ], Sharon McKnight [ The Nurse ], Thomas
Wagner [ The Cook ], Heather James [ The Waitress ] George thinks he’s had a heart attack. The
doctor tells him otherwise, but he might want to get his tonsils and adenoids removed. Elaine is
interested in the doctor and he is interested in her tongue. George not wanting to deal with the
cost, follows Kramer’s suggestion of going to a holistic healer. The healer’s cure turns George
purple and the ride to the hospital is delayed over a Chuckle.
b: 25 Apr 91 pc: 211 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
gs: Siobhan Fallon [ Tina ], Norman Brenner [ Clerk ] Jerry and Elaine are watching TV late at
night and stumble across “naked people” and that gets them both discussing whether they could
have a relationship and not jeopardize their friendship. George says it can’t be done, but Jerry
and Elaine devise “a system”; however, it develops a little trouble when her birthday comes
b: 2 May 91 pc: 213 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
“The Baby Shower”
gs: Christine Dunford [ Leslie ], Vic Polizos [ Tabachnik ], James Lashly [ Assistant ], Margaret
Reed [ Mary ], George C. Simms [ FBI Man ], Marla Fries [ Stewardess ], Don Perry [ Passenger
], Kate Mulligan [ Party Guest ], Audrey Frantz [ Party Guest ] Elaine needs to use Jerry’s
apartment to hold a baby shower for a woman that once dated George. George reflects that she
was “unequivocally the worst date of my life.” Jerry has to go out of town for a show, so he lets
Elaine use the apartment. Kramer sells Jerry on the idea on getting an illegal cable hookup. The
party begins. The cable guys come to install the hookup. Jerry’s show gets canceled, so he
returns to the apartment with George (who’s prepared to confront the bad date). Jerry is the
victim of his own confrontation.
b: 16 May 91 pc: 204 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
“The Chinese Restaurant”
gs: James Hong [ Bruce ], David Tress [ Mr. Cohen ], Judy Kain [ Lorraine ], Kate Benton [
Woman on Phone ], Michael Mitz [ Phone Guy ], Kendall McCarthy [ Man ] Jerry, Elaine and
George stop for a quick Chinese dinner before a showing of Plan 9 From Outer Space on the big
screen. However, while waiting a really long time to get a table, Jerry sees a woman whose name
he can’t recall; George needs to use a phone he can’t have and Elaine needs food, more than
those seated ahead of them.
b: 23 May 91 pc: 206 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Danny Lee notes that Jerry mentions in this episode that he has a sister. I wonder
what ever happened to her?
gs: David Labiosa [ Antonio ], Doug Ballard [ Eddie ], John Del Regno [ Manager ] George
inadvertently meddles in the life of a busboy, by getting him fired. He tries to rectify things;
however, he winds up compounding them by losing the busboy’s cat. Elaine discovers that a
week is much too long to have a house guest. She does everything in her power to get him out.
The busboy’s life is saved and made for the better after his involvement with George, until he
meets Elaine’s house guest.
b: 26 Jun 91 pc: 203 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
3rd Season 1991
gs: Ralph Bruneau [ Lloyd ], Terri Hanauer [ Julianna ], Jeff Lester [ Raymond ], Flo Di Re [
Receptionist ], Liz Georges [ Pam ], Paul Rogers [ Man in Waiting Room ], Dale Raoul [ Dental
Patient ], Joshua Liebling [ Billy ] Physical therapy proves painful for Jerry when his small talk with
his therapist leads to a misunderstanding. Jerry uses his dentist friend, Roy, to write a note so
that insurance will cover therapy for George and Elaine. Then, George’s paranoia about men
comes into play when he gets a massage from a man and later says “I think it moved.” Kramer
thinks he has seen DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose his license in an
insurance fraud investigation.
b: 18 Sep 91 pc: 301 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
gs: Valerie Mahaffey [ Patrice ], Siobhan Fallon [ Tina ] George’s relationship with a former IRS
worker may ease Jerry’s tax audit worries- until she becomes his former girlfriend. She wants to
know why, so he tells her the truth, this was after he gave her Jerry’s tax records. Elaine sees far
too much of Kramer, he’s dating her roommate; in return he saw far too much of her, in fact all of
her. George tries to get Jerry’s tax records back, but he finds she gone into a depression clinic.
b: 25 Sep 91 pc: 302 w: Elaine Pope d: David Steinberg
NOTE: According to viewer Jerry Balsam, George first mentions that he has driven women to
lesbianism before, something we’ll get to experience in “The Smelly Car.”
gs: Ann Morgan Guilbert [ Evelyn ], Annie Korzen [ Doris Klompus ], Magda Harout [ Stella ],
Roger Nolan [ The Chiropractor ], Tucker Smallwood [ The Photographer ] rc: Morty, Helen, Uncle
Elaine regrets accompanying Jerry on a trip to Florida to visit his parents. There are temperature
control problems in the condo, a back breaking sofa bed, a slight overdose of muscle relaxants
and the disposition of a pen that writes upside down.
b: 2 Oct 91 pc: 305 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
gs: Joseph Maher [ Gavin ], Tom Williams [ Bark of the Dog ], Marvin Wright-Bey [ Attendant #1 ],
Kelly Wellman [ Attendant #2 ] Jerry is watching an unruly dog, for a fellow airline passenger
who’s sick in a hospital somewhere in Chicago. Jerry, can’t leave his apartment, that leaves
George and Elaine alone together. They find they have little to say to each other without their
conversational third, Jerry; so they talk about him. Kramer tries breaking up with his girlfriend.
Jerry can’t locate the dogs owner, who was released from the hospital, some time ago.
b: 9 Oct 91 pc: 303 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
gs: Philip Baker Hall [ Lt. Bookman ], Ashley Gardener [ Marion ], Harris Shore [ Mr. Lippman ],
Cynthia Szigeti [ Sandy ], Biff Yeager [ Heyman ], Neal Lerner [ The “Shusher” ], Marie Barrientos
[ The Receptionist ] The library asks Jerry about a book he checked out in 1971 and never
returned, so Jerry looks up an old girlfriend for his defense against a library cop. George thinks
the homeless man he’d seen outside the library is a former gym high school gym teacher that he
got fired. Kramer has his eye on a librarian. Elaine worries about her career when her boss hates
the recommendations she made.
b: 16 Oct 91 pc: 304 w: Larry Charles d: Joshua White
NOTE: According to viewer Jeffrey Abucay, Marion the Librarian says that Mr. Bookman has
been working at the library for 25 years, however Lt. Bookman himself states that 1971 was his
first year on the job, which would mean he’s been working at the library for twenty years, not
Jeff Holland notes that this episode features the appearance of the “infamous” green bike. Why is
Viewer Bill Watson notes that people often forget, myself included, about Harris Shore’s only
appearance as Mr. Lippman. Richard Fancy assumes that role beginning in the “The Red Dot.”
“The Parking Garage”
gs: David Dunard [ Security Guard ], Cynthia Ettinger [ Michele ], Gregory Daniel [ Man in
Corvette ], Carlyle King [ The Mother ], Adam Wylie [ The Kid ], Joe Farago [ Man With Woman ],
Ron Evans [ Bodybuilder ], Tucker Smallwood [ Man in Mercedes ] Everyone separates to try to
find the car in a huge parking garage. Jerry needs the use of a bathroom so he finds a place to go
and gets busted. Elaine tries to get help from people passing by. George joins Jerry in getting
busted. Kramer is wearing “the jacket,” and forgets where he put down the air conditioner he was
carrying and causes George to be real late for his parent’s 47th anniversary.
b: 30 Oct 91 pc: 306 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Kyle Westphal notes that Kramer parks in Purple 23. This happens to be the 23rd
episode. Another viewer, Kyle Matschke notes that Kramer put the air conditioner down in Purple
23 and Jerry peed in Yellow 14.
gs: Brian George [ Babu Bhatt ], Dawn Arnemann [ Monica ] Jerry tries helping the owner of a
small restaurant attract customers by giving him a suggestion. George must take an IQ test for
his latest girlfriend, so Elaine helps him in “a caper” where she takes the test for him. Kramer tries
to keep his mother’s ex-boyfriend’s jacket, because it helps him meet women; however the ex-
boyfriend comes looking for it.
b: 6 Nov 91 pc: 307 w: Tom Leopold d: Tom Cherones
gs: John Apicella [ Repairman ], Ping Wu [ Delivery Boy (Ping) ], Norman Brenner [ Beder ]
George is excited about a new potential baldness cure that was discovered in China. While
listening to a tape of his previous nights show, Jerry hears the voice of a mysterious woman who
talks dirty into his tape recorder and everyone becomes excited by the voice. Elaine shines in an
entirely new light for George when he is let in on the her secret, she’s the voice. He is later driven
crazy when she plays around with him while goofing around in front of Kramer’s new video
recorder. George tries the bald cure. Kramer searches for the jacket.
b: 13 Nov 91 pc: 308 w: Larry David and Bob Shaw & Don McEnery d: David Steinberg
“The Nose Job”
gs: Susan Diol [ Audrey ], Roy Brocksmith [ Landlord ], Tawny Kitaen [ Isabel ], Joseph V. Perry [
Newsstand Owner ], David Blackwood [ Interviewer ] Jerry’s brain and penis play chess against
one another to decide whether he should keep dating a vacuous model with whom the “sex is
great” but not anything else. George is dating a woman with a big nose, Kramer tells her it like it
is and she gets a nose job; however, there is a complication. Kramer gets Elaine to help him
retrieve the jacket.
b: 20 Nov 91 pc: 309 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
gs: Michael Chiklis [ Steve ], Teri Austin [ Ava ], Bobbi Jo Lathan [ Patti ], Gwen Shepherd [
Cashier ], Dwayne Kennedy [ Frank ], Marcia Firesten [ Jenny ], Michael Milhoan [ Security Guard
], John Putch [ Roy ], Melissa Weil [ Gwen ], Ellen Ratner [ Ellen ], Frank Piazza [ Cop ] Jerry &
Elaine go to a party with George, while there they send signals to each other to get out of bad
party conversations. Afterward, George abandons them there, when he leaves with a co-worker
he has a chance with. Jerry & Elaine keeping the hosts up real late, while waiting for Kramer to
come and pick them up. The host later takes Jerry up on his offer to drop by when he is in the
city, just as Jerry is leaving. He stays in Jerry’s apartment for the evening and parties with Kramer
and a lady of the evening. Later George pays the price for his romance in the workplace (he must
quit) and he tries to shoplift at the drug store where he says they still owe him ten dollars.
b: 27 Nov 91 pc: 209 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld and Matt Goldman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: This episode was originally going to be broadcast during the second season on 17 Jul 91.
Jerry comes on before the broadcast of this episode and explains that it is from the time before
George lost his job and he wanted to “let you know, that we know, you know.”
Viewer Jeff Holland notes that one of George’s co-workers says she just sold a property at 129
W. 81 St.; that of course is the building where Jerry, Kramer and Newman live.
“The Alternate Side”
gs: Jay Brooks [ Sid ], Janet Zarish [ Rental Car Agent ], Edward Penn [ Owen March ], Jeff
Barton [ Paramedic ] Jerry’s car is stolen and the criminal picks up his car phone. George decides
to take a fill-in job moving cars from one side of the street to the other; this turns into a disaster
for local traffic flow. Kramer gets a chance to do a line in a Woody Allen film; “these pretzels are
making me thirsty.” Elaine gets tired of her 66-year-old boyfriend and when she is about to break
up with him, he has what might be a heart attack or something.
b: 4 Dec 91 pc: 310 w: Larry David and Bill Masters d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Burton Reibling notes that while Kramer almost got his line in Woddy’s film. Julia
Louis-Dreyfus has a single line in Hannah and Her Sisters. In her scene Woody Allen arrives at
work (he is working at a television network), and Julia says, “Mickey, we have half an hour until
airtime.” She delivers this line about 10 – 15 minutes into the film, and about a minute later John
Turturro also has a line.
Viewer Kevin Hercules notes the following blooper: Jerry is driving a BMW. In a BMW, the
defroster is on the top of the vent positions. Jerry tells the guy that stole his car that it is on the
bottom. In the yet another blooper category, viewer Jeff Holland notes that George moves fast. In
an editing blooper in one shot he is across the room by the window. In the next shot, he is in the
kitchen behind Jerry. He also notes the irony, that Jason has the side job as “Pretzel Boy” when
George utters the line “these pretzels are making me thirsty.”
Jeff Holland also notes that Jerry’s car phone number 555-8383 is used in a later episode as his
“The Red Dot”
gs: David Naughton [ Dick ], Bridget Sienna [ Evie (Cleaning Woman) ], Rachel Davies [
Saleswoman ] rc: Lippman
Jerry is the unwitting cause of Elaine’s boyfriend falling off the wagon. Elaine gets George a job,
so he buys her a gift, an $85 cashmere sweater. The sweater has a little red dot on it; hence the
price. Elaine gives it back, then George gives it to the cleaning woman, to keep her quiet about
them having sex on his desk. George gets fired.
b: 11 Dec 91 pc: 311 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
gs: Ernie Sabella [ Naked Man ], Barbara Stock [ Scam Woman ], Rhoda Gemignani [ Woman
with Elaine ], Mark Boone Junior [ OTB Patron ], Christopher Collins [ Thug ], Barry Vigon [ Player
#1 ], Joe Restivo [ Player #2 ], Daryl Roach [ Violinist/Cop ], Chet Nelson [ Kid ] Everyone has an
uncommon experience while going their separate ways on the subway. George meets a beautiful
woman who distracts him from his intended destination, a job interview. Jerry falls asleep and
then wakes up across from a fat naked man and winds up discussing with him, the New York
Mets & Coney Island. Elaine’s train stops in the middle of a tunnel on her way to be best man at a
lesbian wedding. Kramer overhears a hot tip on a horse on his way to pay $600 in traffic
b: 8 Jan 92 pc: 313 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
“The Pez Dispenser”
gs: Elizabeth Morehead [ Noel ], Fred Sanders [ John ], Bill Applebaum [ D’Giff ], Allen Bloomfield
[ Polar Bear ], Chris Barnes [ Richie ], Steve Kehela [ Intervenor ], Kate Benton [ Roberta ]
Kramer joins the “Polar Bear Club.” Jerry gets one of Kramer’s Pez dispensers which makes
Elaine laugh during a piano recital of George’s girlfriend, and that puts their relationship in
jeopardy. Kramer has an idea for a cologne that smells like the beach and suggests that George
make a preemptive breakup with his girlfriend, that will give him the “upper hand.” The Pez
dispenser has a remarkable effect during a drug confrontation.
b: 15 Jan 92 pc: 314 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
gs: Gina Gallego [ Gina ], Mimi Lieber [ Rula ], C.E. Grimes [ Martin ], Howard Schecter [ Doctor ],
Aimee Aro [ Faithy ], Peggy Lane O’Rourke [ Nurse ] rc: Newman
Elaine needs to fast before an x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself three days before the test. After
his neighbor Martin tries suicide, Jerry is hit on by his girlfriend, Gina, while at the hospital. A
psychic warns George to cancel his vacation to the Cayman Islands, but never can tell George
why. Jerry becomes worried when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him with Gina. Elaine starts
hallucinating from hunger. Everything hinges on a Drake’s coffee cake.
b: 29 Jan 92 pc: 312 w: Tom Leopold d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: According to viewer Ben Houghton, Jason Alexander’s mother makes a cameo in this
episode sitting on a bench next to Elaine. Also he notes that in this episode, George mentions he
has a brother.
gs: Maggie Jakobson [ Cynthia ] After selling each other on the idea, Jerry and Elaine sell George
and Elaine’s friend on a blind date, then they await the results. They promise to keep each other
updated with “full disclosure,” though that doesn’t happen. There also may be a problem with a
defective condom. “My boys can swim!”
b: 5 Feb 92 pc: 317 w: Elaine Pope & Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
“The Boyfriend (1) (a.k.a. The New Friend (1))”
gs: Keith Hernandez [ Himself ], Rae Allen [ Mrs. (Lenore) Sokol ], Richard Assad [ Cabbie ] rc:
Jerry meets Keith Hernandez and wants to make a good impression. Meanwhile, George is out of
time on his unemployment and he works harder than ever on his scheme to get a 13 week
extension. He tells the unemployment office he was really close on Vandelay Industries, a
company that makes latex products and whose main office is Jerry’s apartment. Kramer and
Newman hate Hernandez back to a time when they were allegedly spit on by him; however, Jerry
supports the “second-spitter theory.” Keith asks Jerry about Elaine’s status. Keith makes a date
with her and breaks a date with Jerry.
b: 12 Feb 92 pc: 315 w: Larry David and Larry Levin d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. The name Vandelay is used again, this
time as a company. Devoted Internet fans of the show decide the company’s name will be used
for their electronic mailing list.
“The Boyfriend (2) (a.k.a. The New Friend: Of Mastodons and Men (2))”
gs: Keith Hernandez [ Himself ], Rae Allen [ Mrs. (Lenore) Sokol ], Carol Ann Susi [ Carrie ], Lisa
Mende [ Carol ], Roger McDowell [ Himself ], Stephen Prutting [ Michael ], Richard Assad [
Cabbie ], Melanie Good [ Woman ] rc: Newman
George tries two more approaches with the unemployment officer. Kramer gets Jerry to
accompany him to see a former neighbors’ new baby, “you got to see the baby.” Though he’s
gone out with Keith once, does that mean he must help him move. Elaine and Keith are hitting it
off until he pulls out a cigarette. George wants to sleep with a really tall woman. Keith supports
the “second spitter theory.” Jerry and Elaine both breakup with Keith and George might get his
b: 12 Feb 92 pc: 316 w: Larry David and Larry Levin d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. Viewer Biff Hooper notes that when
George runs out of the bathroom to tell Kramer to say “Vandelay Industries,” he falls and drops
his paper to the right of where he lies. Then, in the shot from Jerry’s view, the paper has moved
to George’s left!
gs: Peter Krause [ Tim ], Suzanne Snyder [ Eva ], Jeremy Roberts [ Chauffeur ], Jodi Baskerville [
Herself ], I.M. Hobson [ Businessman ], Harley Venton [ Dan ], Adam Leslie [ Man at Protest ],
Norman Brenner [ Man at Airport ], Aaron Kanarek [ Protester #1 ], Ray Glanzmann [ Protester #2
] On a whim, Jerry and George take a limo from a passenger that Jerry knows never made it on
the plane. While taking the limo they call Elaine & Kramer to join them for an event at Madison
Square Garden, but it isn’t the type of event they were hoping for.
b: 26 Feb 92 pc: 318 w: Larry Charles s: Marc Jaffe d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: A rare episode, where Jerry’s apartment is not featured.
“The Good Samaritan”
gs: Melinda McGraw [ Angela ], Ann Talman [ Robin ], Joseph Malone [ Michael ], Helen Slater [
Becky Gelke (uncredited) ] Jerry tracks down a hit-and-run driver, then he wants to date her, after
dating her he finds out she hit another woman he’s always wanted to date. George has an affair
with Elaine’s friend. Kramer has violent reactions to Mary Hart’s voice.
b: 4 Mar 92 pc: 319 w: Peter Mehlman d: Jason Alexander
gs: Catherine Keener [ Nina ], Richard Venture [ Leonard West ], Elliott Reid [ Mr. Armstrong ],
Justine Johnston [ Mrs. Armstrong ], Shashawnee Hall [ Usher ] rc: Lippman
Kramer poses for a painting, that an elderly couple becomes just crazy about. George feels
obligated to buy something when he accompanies Jerry to his new girlfriend’s art studio. Elaine
wears an Orioles baseball cap in the owner’s box at Yankee Stadium and refuses to remove it.
Jerry finds out his new girlfriend is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a letter, on
television. Elaine gets a chance to return to Yankee Stadium.
b: 25 Mar 92 pc: 320 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Jeff Holland notes that Elaine comments during this episode that no one would
want to watch a bris; however in “The Bris” that is just what she and Jerry do!
“The Parking Space”
gs: Lee Arenberg [ Mike Moffit ], Jay Brooks [ Sid ], Maryedith Burrell [ Maryedith ], Shannon
Cochran [ Sheila ], Zachary Charles [ Angry Man ], Michael A. Costanza [ Truck Driver ], Mik
Scriba [ Cop #1 ], Stan Sellers [ Cop #2 ], John Christian Graas [ Matthew ], Peggy Lane
O’Rourke [ Bystander #1 ], Steven Marcus Gibbs [ Bystander #2 ] rc: Newman
Kramer tells Jerry about something his friend Mike said about Jerry being “a phony.” After
borrowing Jerry’s car, Elaine comes up with a wild story, because the car is now making a
strange clanking noise. George gets into a confrontation with Mike about a parking space in front
of Jerry’s apartment. Everyone one the street debates about parking etiquette.
b: 22 Apr 92 pc: 322 w: Larry David & Greg Daniels d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Fabio Sciola notes that this is the episode where George mentions again that he
has a brother. However, he hasn’t mentioned this brother since this episode. At least that I am
gs: Nina Tremblay [ Jerry’s Girlfriend ], Eric Allan Kramer [ Biker ], Ricky Dean Logan [ Hippie #1
], Sharon Barr [ Trucker ], Maud Winchester [ Hippie #2 ], Heather James [ Waitress ], Carissa
Channing [ Kramer’s Girlfriend ], Candice Bergen [ Herself (as Murphy Brown) ] rc: Newman
Kramer invades Jerry’s life too much, so Jerry revokes his spare key privileges. Realizing that he
has broken the “covenant of the keys” gives Kramer the realization he is now free to come out of
the shadows. Kramer takes off for California to follow his acting dream. Jerry gave his spare keys
to Elaine, then when he needs them, he goes with George to Elaine’s (who has her keys) to
search for his spare set. What they find is Elaine’s show-biz project. Kramer finds adventure as
he journeys across the country to LA where he gets a famous bit part on Murphy Brown.
b: 6 May 92 pc: 321 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
4th Season 1992
“The Trip (1)”
gs: Peter Murnik [ Lt. Martel ], Elmarie Wendel [ Helene ], Debi A. Monahan [ Chelsea ], Ricky
Dean Logan [ The Freak ], Vaughn Armstrong [ Lt. Coleman ], Keith Morrison [ Newscaster
(Himself) ], Manfred Melcher [ Officer ], Christopher Michael Moore [ Studio Guard ], Dyana Ortelli
[ Chambermaid (Lupe) ], Michael Gerard [ Receptionist ], Fred Savage [ Himself ], George Wendt
[ Himself ], Corbin Bernsen [ Himself ] rc:
With Elaine in Europe, Jerry asks George to accompany him on a trip to LA and The Tonight
Show; while there they will try to locate Kramer. While auditioning, Kramer must deal with the
advances of an older female landlord (an actress who hasn’t worked since 1934) and get
someone in Hollywood to read his script treatment. A body is discovered; the victim, a young
woman, was strangled. Kramer meets a woman at an audition and he gives her a copy of his
script. Jerry loses the correct phrasing for some new jokes and George tries to get Lupe, the
chambermaid, to make his bed just right. At The Tonight Show, George disturbs the guests and
Jerry bombs. The woman Kramer gave the script to is strangled and his script is found in her
possession. Kramer’s face is shown on the news as the prime suspect for the “Smog Strangler,” a
b: 12 Aug 92 pc: 401 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
“The Trip (2)”
gs: Peter Murnik [ Lt. Martel ], Elmarie Wendel [ Helene ], Marty Rackham [ Officer #1 ], Peter
Parros [ Officer #2 ], Vaughn Armstrong [ Lt. Coleman ], Clint Howard [ Tobias Lehigh Nagy ],
Steve Greenstein [ Man ], Kerry Leigh Michaels [ Woman ], Keith Morrison [ Newscaster (Himself)
], Peggy Lane O’Rourke [ Reporter #1 ], Deck McKenzie [ Reporter #2 ], Steve Dougherty [ Prison
Guard ] Jerry and George try to contact the police to tell them Kramer is innocent. Kramer still
doesn’t know he’s wanted. Jerry and George get a ride in a police car and while en route the
officers pick up a possible 519. The 519 suspect is put in the back of the car with George and
Jerry and they ask him tipping advice. Then all units are called in on Kramer’s building, Jerry and
George leave the police car door open and the 519 suspect escapes. While Kramer is in for
questioning, another victim is found. He is let go and Jerry and George want to know what he is
going to do, he is going to stay in LA. Jerry and George are back in New York and Kramer turns
up like nothings changed.
b: 19 Aug 92 pc: 402 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: The remaining episodes in this season have a loose, but interconnecting thread, and
should be viewed in order. Of course when syndicated the episodes are shown in anything but a
logical order. Marty Rackham will reappear as Elaine’s exclamation point avoiding boyfriend, Jake
Jarmel, in “The Sniffing Accountant”. He will return as Jake in two more episodes.
Viewer Jeff Holland notes that the hotel the Kramer stays in, is the same one that Julia Roberts
stays at in Pretty Woman.
gs: Kevin Page [ Stu ], Stephen McHattie [ Psychiatrist (Dr. Reston) ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Julie
Blum [ Receptionist ], Steve Skrovan [ Tommy ], Ron Ross [ Homeless Man ] rc: Newman,
Russell, Susan, “Crazy” Joe
NBC executives ask Jerry to come up with an idea for a TV series. George decides he can be a
sitcom writer and comes up with “nothing.” Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, later
Newman gets a speeding ticket. While waiting to meet the NBC executives, George and Jerry
meet Joe Davola, a writer and “a total nut” who goes to the same shrink as Elaine. Jerry
searching for conversation, mentions Kramer’s party, whereto Joe wasn’t invited. While
discussing the disaster of the meeting with NBC, George focuses on starting a relationship with
the female NBC executive. Kramer shows his approval by throwing up on her. The helmet saves
Kramer from an attack by “Crazy” Joe Davola. While all this is going on Elaine is in Europe with
b: 16 Sep 92 pc: 403 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
The character of Russell (Dalrimple) is based on NBC executive Warren Littlefield. This is a role
Bob Balaban was born to play as he did show in the late night talk show wars movie called The
gs: Kevin Page [ Stu ], Steve Eastin [ Cop #1 ], David Graf [ Cop #2 ], Al Fann [ Judge ], Stephen
McHattie [ Psychiatrist (Dr. Reston) ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Julie Blum [ Receptionist ] rc: Newman,
Russell, Susan, Uncle Leo
Kramer suffers side effects from his head injury. NBC gives Jerry and George another meeting
and on the way, Jerry throws out a watch his parents gave him. He then meets his Uncle Leo,
who picks the watch out of the garbage. Kramer agrees to be an alibi for Newman’s trial on a
speeding ticket. George and Jerry meet with NBC executives and they give the go ahead for a
pilot. Later they hide in the coffee shop, afraid of an attack from “Crazy” Joe. Elaine’s shrink
realizes that he didn’t leave an extra prescription for Joe Davola, for the time while he’s on
b: 16 Sep 92 pc: 404 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
“The Wallet (1)”
gs: Stephen McHattie [ Dr. Reston ], David Sage [ Dr. Dembrow ], Susan Ilene Johnson [ Nurse ],
Denise Dowse [ Receptionist ], Brian Leckner [ Attendant ] rc: Helen, Morty, Uncle Leo, Susan
Jerry’s parents come to town to see a back specialist, they hear about “Crazy” Joe not liking Jerry
and ask about the watch they gave him. George “negotiates” the deal with the NBC and gets a
box of cigars from Susan’s father. While at the doctor’s office Morty’s wallet is “stolen”. Elaine
returns from her trip and tries to end her relationship with her shrink. The deal with NBC is lost.
b: 23 Sep 92 pc: 405 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
“The Watch (2)”
gs: Stephen McHattie [ Dr. Reston ], Jessica Lundy [ Naomi ], Christopher Carroll [ Maitre d’ ],
Lewis Dauber [ Doorman ], Mimi Craven [ Cynthia ] rc: Morty, Helen, Russell, Uncle Leo, Susan,
Jerry has dinner with his parents and Uncle Leo. Women, who’s paying and the watch are all
discussed. Elaine uses Kramer as “her boyfriend” in trying to fool her shrink. George gets
Russell’s address and tries to get the pilot reinstated. Jerry tries to buy back the watch. Outside
her shrink’s office, Elaine meets “Crazy” Joe, whom she begins to date.
b: 30 Sep 92 pc: 406 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
“The Bubble Boy”
gs: Jessica Lundy [ Naomi ], Brian Doyle-Murray [ Mel ], Carol Mansell [ Mother ], O-lan Jones [
Waitress ], Jon Hayman [ Voice and Arm of Donald ], George Gerdes [ Man #1 ], Tony
Pappenfuss [ Man #2 ] rc: Susan
Jerry’s girlfriend, Naomi has a laugh that sounds like “Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer,” and when
she hears George’s message to Jerry, she breaks up with him. So instead, Jerry asks Elaine to
accompany him on a trip to a cabin in the mountain with George and Susan. Kramer isn’t invited.
Jerry agrees to a side trip to visit a sick fan, a “Bubble Boy.” George gets into a fight with the
“Bubble Boy” over the correct answer to a Trivial Pursuit question. Kramer and Naomi also make
the trip to the cabin and get the fire started.
b: 7 Oct 92 pc: 407 w: Larry David & Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: The Trivial Pursuit question mentioned is an actual error that was discovered in one of the
“The Cheever Letters”
gs: Warren Frost [ Mr. Henry Ross ], Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ], Lisa Malkiewicz [ Sandra ],
Miguel Perez [ Luis ], Vanessa Marquez [ Receptionist ], Timothy Omundson [ Ricky Ross ],
Patricia Lee Willson [ Sara Ross ], David Blackwood [ Doorman ] rc: Susan
Jerry and George begin to work on the pilot for the series they pitched to NBC. Jerry says the
wrong thing while “messing” around with one of Elaine’s co-workers. George & Susan tell her
father about the cabin fire, he becomes distraught and letters saved from the fire soon explain
why. Kramer goes to the Cuban Embassy in search of cigars and makes a deal.
b: 28 Oct 92 pc: 408 w: Larry David s: Larry David and Elaine Pope & Tom Leopold d: Tom
NOTE: Warren Frost and Grace Zabriskie both appeared on David Lynch and Mark Frost’s series
Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member joins Grace and Warren in an appearance in “The
gs: Ross Evans [ Mr. Reichman ], Hariet S. Miller [ Mrs. Reichman ], Bill Saluga [ Usher ], Tom
Celli [ Man #1 ], Jason Wingreen [ Man #2 ], Glen Chin [ Man #3 ] rc: “Crazy” Joe, Susan
“Crazy” Joe leaves Jerry a message saying he will put the “kibosh” on him. Kramer has tickets for
the opera, Pagliacci, and everyone is going including Elaine and her boyfriend “Crazy” Joe.
Elaine drops in on Joe’s apartment and is she surprised by what she discovers, so she maces
him with cherry Binaca and ends their relationship. Susan can’t attend, so George tries to scalp
her ticket. Joe, a big fan of Pagliacci, comes to the opera in clown garb; Elaine and Jerry attend
together not realizing their different estranged relationships with Joe.
b: 4 Nov 92 pc: 409 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Bill Saluga is best remembered for a character he played in Vegas and on variety
television. That character was Raymond J. Johnson Jr.. “Oh you don’t have to call me Johnson.
Now my name is Raymond J. Johnson Jr. You can call me Ray or you can call me…”. You get the
idea! Also in the late ’70s, Bill released a disco album called “Disco Johnson.”
gs: Anne Twomey [ Rita ], Jane Leeves [ Marla ], Kevin Page [ Stu ], Ping Wu [ Ping ], Leah Lail [
Stacy ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Derya Ruggles [ Woman in Bar ], Dayna Winston [ Carol ], Julie Blum
[ Receptionist ] rc: Susan
After much procrastination, George and Jerry strain to think of an idea for their TV series a few
hours before a meeting with NBC executives. Jerry finds out a girl he once met is still a virgin,
and later Elaine educates her about men after sex. George wants to end his relationship with
Susan so he can exploit his writing profession as a pick-up line. Elaine runs into a Chinese
delivery boy. Kramer watches too much television.
b: 11 Nov 92 pc: 410 w: Peter Mehlman s: Peter Mehlman and Peter Farrelly & Bob Farrelly d:
NOTE: Following the broadcast of this episode Michael Richards played Kramer on an episode of
Mad About You. It starred Paul Reiser & Helen Hunt. In the episode called “The Apartment,”
Reiser must get rid of his old apartment, that it seems Kramer has been subletting from him.
However, in the first episode of the seventh season, George and Susan are seen watching and
commenting on an episode of Mad About You. See also the NOTE associated with “Good News,
gs: Jane Leeves [ Marla ], Ilana Levine [ Joyce ], Rachel Sweet [ Shelly ], Andrea Parker [ Nurse ]
George’s mother throws her back out when she falls down after catching him doing “you know.”
When George says he’ll never do it again, Jerry challenges him to a contest of self-denial, when
he accepts, Elaine and Kramer want in on the action, or rather the lack of it.
b: 18 Nov 92 pc: 411 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Tom Cherones won the Director’s Guild of America Award for this episode. This episode
was based on a real contest that Larry David participated in.
gs: Jennifer Campbell [ Tia ], Scott Burkholder [ Prisoner ], Jim J. Bullock [ Attendant #1 ], Allan
Wasserman [ Grossbard ], Lenny Rose [ Passenger #1 ], Karen Denise Williams [ Attendant #2 ],
Annie Korzen [ Passenger #2 ], Deck McKenzie [ Security Guard ], Maggie Egan [ Ticket Clerk ],
Mark Christopher Lawrence [ Sky Cap ], Jack Graiman [ Cop ], William Evan Masters [ Driver ]
When their flight home gets canceled, Jerry & Elaine gets on another flight, the latter gets
cramped into coach and Jerry parties in 1st class with a model. George and Kramer go between
JFK and La Guardia to pick them up. When they settle on an airport George meets a convict and
Kramer sees a man who owes him $240 from years ago.
b: 25 Nov 92 pc: 412 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Larry Charles makes a cameo appearance as the guy who stinks up the bathroom before
Elaine goes in. Thanks to Greg Gattuso for this tidbit. Greg is author of The Seinfeld Universe.
Viewer Paul Brackett, who must work in the airline industry, notes the following:
“They were flying from St. Louis to JFK, then to LGA. Only TWA flys these routes non-stop. They
showed 2 ground shots of the aircraft, and both of the ground shots were of a Southwest airlines
Boeing 737. Then they showed the plane in flight a couple of times, both shots were of a
McDonnell Douglas DC-9. Then they showed the interior of the coach section, in which the colors
of the seats and the configuration resembled the interior of a Delta coach plane, with 3-3 seating.
Both the 737 and the DC-9 are 3-2 seating. Then they showed the interior of the first class
section, which looked like the interior of a Continental DC-10 First class section, based on seating
arrangements and color of the seats. One would think that folks in the TV industry would fly
enough to notice these things!”
A St. Louis based viewer, Randy Canis notes that Jerry and Elaine are not at the real Lambert
Field. I wouldn’t expect them to be, that would be too expensive to film and only viewers familiar
with the airport would ever notice.
gs: Jennifer Campbell [ Tia ], Gina Hecht [ Dana Foley ], Nicholas Hormann [ Calvin ], Tony Carlin
[ Fred ], Francois Giroday [ Male Executive ], Blaire Baron [ Female Executive ], Steve Schubert [
Man in Office ] rc: Susan, Newman
Elaine is humiliated when she accidentally shows a bit too much on her Christmas card photo,
that she has sent out to everyone she knows. Jerry has a date with the model from the plane, she
later dumps Jerry because of “The Pick.” George tries to reunite with Susan, but realizes it’s a
mistake, and uses “The Pick”. Kramer goes to Calvin Klein to complain about “The Ocean,” a
fragrance they stole from him, and is asked to pose for a risquÈ underwear advertisement.
b: 16 Dec 92 pc: 413 w: Larry David s: Larry David and Marc Jaffe d: Tom Cherones
gs: Barry Diamond [ Buckles ], Perry Anzilotti [ Usher ], Tom La Grua [ Kernis ], Eric Poppick [
Maurice ], Cathy Lind Hayes [ Woman Behind Elaine ], Allan Kolman [ Cab Driver ], Molly Cleator
[ Cashier ], Christie Mellor [ Concessionaire ], Jeff Norman [ Man in Line ], Paul Eisenhauer [ Man
in Theatre ], Montrose Hagins [ Woman in Theatre ] Jerry tries to make two show dates and
afterwards go to the movie theater to meet everyone. George gets in the wrong line for tickets.
George, Elaine & Kramer decide to go to another theater to see the movie. Kramer waits outside
for Jerry but also wants a hot dog. Jerry misses his first show, then goes to movie theater to tell
everyone he won’t make the movie, but no one is there. Through a comedy of errors, everyone
(but Kramer) misses the movie, they were originally going to see.
b: 6 Jan 93 pc: 415 w: Steve Skrovan & Bill Masters & Jon Hayman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: According to viewer Jim Gilhooly, writer Steve Skrovan appears in an uncredited cameo
as the man with the white hat that sits next to Elaine at the movie.
gs: Brian George [ Babu Bhatt ], Maggie Han [ Cheryl ], Ping Wu [ Ping ], John Hamelin [ Babu’s
Brother ], Gerry Bednob [ Babu’s Friend ] George meets a Chinese female lawyer who thinks he
is real funny; so he tells Jerry not to be funny around her, but she becomes attracted to this.
Kramer returns early from baseball fantasy camp, where he accidentally punched Mickey Mantle.
A mix-up with Jerry’s mail causes Babu to be arrested for not renewing his visa. Jerry tries to get
the lawyer to help Babu, but George’s honesty when his relationship is threatened causes Babu
to be deported and Elaine to still be sued by the delivery boy she hit.
b: 27 Jan 93 pc: 414 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
gs: Gina Hecht [ Dana (Foley) ], Anita Barone [ Gail Cunningham ], Michael Ornstein [ Waiter ],
Denise Lee Richards [ Molly ] rc: Russell
Jerry and George struggle to keep their idea for a TV series alive, one of their problems is they
don’t know how to do the Elaine character. Jerry meets an old girlfriend he never could kiss, later
Kramer gets the opportunity. The ex-girlfriend talks about Elaine’s shoes, mainly because she
wants them. George is caught staring at the cleavage of the daughter of the NBC executive who
is approving their script. Elaine’s cleavage provides a means to turn the tables on him.
b: 4 Feb 93 pc: 417 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Jeff Holland notes that it took Jerry and George a while to get around to adding a
female to their pilot, just like it took Jerry and Larry to do.
gs: Paula Marshall [ Sharon ], Kari Coleman [ Allison ], Anthony Mangano [ Sailor ], Ben Reed [
Male Nurse ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Manager ], Charley Garrett [ Man #1 ], Deck McKenzie [
Scott ], David Gibbs [ Man #2 ] rc: Helen, Morty, Estelle
No thanks to Elaine, Jerry must work hard to prove he is straight when a college reporter
mistakenly reports that he and George are gay, “not that there is anything wrong with that.”
Things really get out of hand when the article is picked up by the New York Post.
b: 11 Feb 93 pc: 416 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Jerry Balsam notes in this episode that Estelle claims to have been helped up by
the super; however, we all know that the Costanzas live in a house in Queens.
Kyle Westphal notes George’s comment about having to wait for his girlfriend to die. Of course,
she becomes his fiancÈe first and then she does die, in “The Invitations.”
“The Old Man”
gs: Bill Erwin [ Sid Fields ], Tobin Bell [ Ron ], Robert Donley [ Ben Cantwell ], Lanei Chapman [
Housekeeper ], Victoria Dillard [ Agency Rep ], Jerry Hauck [ Tim ] rc: Newman
Jerry, Elaine & George volunteer to help the elderly. Jerry gets assigned to a nasty old man.
Elaine is repulsed by the goiter problems of hers and George depresses his charge. Kramer and
Newman try the business of selling old records to a used record store. Jerry loses track of his
man when they try to take him to the dentist to repair his dentures, after the man had bitten
b: 18 Feb 93 pc: 418 w: Bruce Kirschbaum s: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Eric Scheffel notes that old man’s name is Sid Fields. This was the name of the
landlord on the The Abbott & Costello Show. Which of featured Jerry’s two favorite comedians,
Bud Abbott & Lou Costello. In fact on 24 Nov 94, instead of an episode of Seinfeld being on, Jerry
hosted a one hour special about the duo. The special was called Abbott & Costello Meet Jerry
Viewer Gerry Myerson notes that the other old man was named Ben Cantwell. Baseball trivia
buffs recognize this as the name of a pitcher for the Boston Braves, who lost 25 games in 1935.
No one has lost that many games in a season since then.
gs: Teri Hatcher [ Sidra ], Megan Mullally [ Betsy ], Carol Rosenthal [ Ticket Clerk #1 ], Donald
Bishop [ Dr. Allenwood ], Tony Amendola [ Sal Bass (Rushdie) ], Kieran Mulroney [ Timmy ],
Peggy Stewart [ Aunt May ], Bruce E. Morrow [ Father Jessup ], Susan Beaubian [ Ticket Clerk
#2 ] Jerry dumps his girlfriend after Elaine says her figure is the result of implants. Kramer claims
to have seen Salman Rushdie at the health club. By accident Elaine later discovers the breasts
are real. George accompanies his current girlfriend to Detroit for her aunt’s wake. While there he
tries to get a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount on the airfare.
b: 25 Feb 93 pc: 419 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
“The Junior Mint”
gs: Susan Walters [ Mystery Woman ], Sherman Howard [ Roy ], Victor Raider-Wexler [ Doctor ]
Jerry has a date with a woman whose name he has forgotten, but it “rhymes with a female body
part.” Could it be “Mulva”? Elaine visits an old boyfriend who’s in the hospital for an operation; he
was once fat, thin she’s interested again. Kramer gets an opportunity to witness the operation and
he drags Jerry along, while watching they have an accident with a “Junior Mint.”
b: 18 Mar 93 pc: 421 w: Andy Robin d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Her name is… I can’t tell you everything! However, if you must know, see “The
Foundation,” where she returns assuming that Jerry has grown up.
This episode sparked a lawsuit from an employee of a company located in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
USA. The employee claims that this company allegedly used the following incident as an excuse
to fire him. He discussed this episode with a female co-worker. She didn’t get the joke. So he
provided a photocopy of a dictionary definition of the body part in question so he wouldn’t have to
As a follow-up to this story, the guy won his case, though the company plans to appeal.
“The Smelly Car”
gs: Michael Des Barres [ Restaurateur ], Nick Bakay [ Carl ], Kari Coleman [ Allison ], Taylor
Negron [ Hairdresser ], Courtney Gains [ Clerk ], Raf Mauro [ Car Washer ], Viveka Davis [ Mona
], Robert Noble [ Salesman ], Patricia Place [ Wife ], Walt Beaver [ Husband ] rc: Susan
The strong body odor of a valet is left in Jerry’s car. George can’t believe it when he spots Susan
holding hands with another woman. Elaine loses her current boyfriend and Jerry is forced to try to
sell the car, because the odor has taken a life of its own and permeated everything. George is
turned by Susan’s new outlook on life. Susan’s friend is swayed to heterosexuality by Kramer,
though later turned back off by a whiff of a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When the car
can’t be sold, Jerry winds up leaving it and the keys out on the street.
b: 15 Apr 93 pc: 422 w: Larry David & Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
“The Handicap Spot”
gs: John Randolph [ Frank Costanza (see NOTE) ], Richard Portnow [ Ray ], Rick Overton [ The
Drake ], Nancy Lenehan [ Volunteer ], Elizabeth Dennehy [ Allison ], Kathy Kinney [ Bystander ],
Fritzi Burr [ Maj-Jongg Lady #1 ], Norma Janis [ Maj-Jongg Lady #2 ], Ina Parker [ Maj-Jongg
Lady #3 ], Marvin Braverman [ Cop ], David Blackwood [ Security Guard ], Eric Fleeks [ Kicker ],
Donna Evans [ Lula ] rc: Estelle, Frank (U.S. syndicated rerun only)
Going out to buy an engagement party present for “The Drake,” George parks his father’s car in a
handicap parking spot, after taking Kramer’s advice. An angry mob trashes the vehicle when a
disabled woman gets injured, because of the illegal parking. While visiting the woman at the
hospital, Kramer falls in love and feels compelled to replace the wheelchair. George becomes his
father’s butler after his father gets arrested for parking in the spot.
b: 13 May 93 pc: 420 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: The U.S. syndicated version of this episode features Jerry Stiller in the role of Frank
Costanza. Viewers overseas, still see John Randolph in the role. The sequences were re-shot in
the spring of 1995. A role he didn’t formally start until the next season in “The Puffy Shirt”. I’ve
been typed that the John Randolph version is still being seen overseas.
Viewer Jerry Balsam notes that in this episode, Kramer was referred to as a “hipster doofus,”
which is an inside joke Larry David wrote in response to a review of the series by Francis Davis
that appeared in the December 1992 issue of The Atlantic Monthly. In the review, Davis describes
one of the characters as “Jerry’s across-the-hall neighbor, a hipster doofus known simply as
Viewer Ross Raniere seems to remember some controversy surrounding this episode before it
was first aired. There was some backlash and offense taken at the plot. It was written in an article
that it may not be aired. Given the production code of the episode, I would suggest that the airing
of the episode was delayed and perhaps some of the content adjusted to appease the critics.
Anyone have any details?
“The Pilot (1)”
gs: Anne Twomey [ Rita ], Gina Hecht [ Dana Foley ], Jeremy Piven [ Michael Barth (TV George)
], Larry Hankin [ Tom Pepper (TV Kramer) ], Kevin Page [ Stu ], Mariska Hargitay [ Melissa ],
Laura Waterbury [ Casting Director ], Elena Wohl [ Sandi Robbins (TV Elaine) ], Bruce Jarchow [
Doctor ], Al Ruscio [ Manager ], Richard Gant [ Fred ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Roger Rose [ Mark ],
Samantha Dorman [ Waitress ], Erick Avari [ Cabbie ], Bob Shaw [ Paul ], Stephen Burrows [
David ] rc: Russell, “Crazy” Joe
Jerry and George get the green light to produce Jerry, the pilot for the series based on their
“nothing” lives. Russell Dalrimple, the president at NBC behind the pilot, is obsessed with Elaine.
George is obsessed with a white spot on his lip and a box of raisins taken by actor playing
Kramer. The real Kramer has an internal plumbing problem and on his way to fix it, he gets
delayed and is caused to “miss his chance.” Jerry has an audition with the new “Elaine,” a
method actress interested in being Elaine in every way. The real Elaine has a problem with the
coffee shop, they appear to be only hiring buxom waitresses, so she tries to get hired and files a
b: 20 May 93 pc: 423 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
“The Pilot (2)”
gs: Anne Twomey [ Rita ], Jeremy Piven [ Michael Barth (TV George) ], Larry Hankin [ Tom
Pepper (TV Kramer) ], Kevin Page [ Stu ], Elena Wohl [ Sandi Robbins (TV Elaine) ], Al Ruscio [
Manager ], Richard Gant [ Fred ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Brian Bradley [ Butler ], Bob Shaw [ Paul ],
Deborah Swisher [ 1st AD ], Jeff Oetjen [ Wilton ], Pat Hazell [ Himself ], Kari Coleman [ Allison ],
Bill Erwin [ Sid ], Lanei Chapman [ Housekeeper ], Jane Leeves [ Marla ], Unknown [ John-John ],
Rick Overton [ The Drake ], Elizabeth Dennehy [ Allison ], Maggie Han [ Cheryl ], Ping Wu [ Ping
], Brian Doyle-Murray [ Mel ], Carol Mansell [ Mother ], Jon Hayman [ Voice of Donald ], Jennifer
Campbell [ Tia ], Nicholas Hormann [ Calvin ], Teri Hatcher [ Sidra ], Tony Amendola [ Sal Bass
(Rushdie) ], Larry David [ Man on Raft (uncredited) ] rc: Russell, “Crazy” Joe, Susan, Morty,
Rehearsals for the pilot begin. Russell’s obsession with Elaine begins to affect his work. George
asks TV Kramer about the raisins. The real Kramer might be forced to work on his plumbing
problem by using the “dreaded apparatus.” Elaine gets an investigation started on the owner of
the diner. George gets the results of the biopsy of his white spot. At the taping of the pilot, Elaine
sneaks in disguised and “Crazy” Joe jumps out of the audience. Elaine finds Morty’s wallet in
Jerry’s couch. Everyone from the past season comments on the pilot as it’s broadcast, they all
think it’s great. When Russell disappears, the fate of the pilot is in the hands of the new president,
a person convinced that Jerry can’t act.
b: 20 May 93 pc: 424 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. The major characters from the past
season who comment on the pilot were not credited for this episode; however, we know who
most of them were, so they’ve been included with this episode.
5th Season 1993
gs: Lisa Edelstein [ Karen ], Leonard Termo [ Joe ], Veralyn Jones [ Renee ] George tells Jerry
about his lack of confidence below “the equator.” Jerry begs Elaine for another chance when he
finds out she faked her orgasms. Kramer gets banned from his favorite fruit shop.
b: 16 Sep 93 pc: 501 w: Lawrence H. Levy & Buck Dancer s: Lawrence H. Levy d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: The co-writing credit for the teleplay that was credited to Buck Dancer, is changed to Larry
David in the syndicated reruns. Larry must have decided to use a pseudonym for the original
broadcast. Buck is also the first name George would use if he was a porn star, the full name
being Buck Naked.
“The Puffy Shirt”
gs: Wendel Meldrum [ Leslie ], David Brisbin [ Client ], Bryant Gumbel [ Himself ], Deborah May [
Elsa ], Michael Mitz [ Photographer ], Kim Gillingham [ Assistant ], Terence Riggins [ Stage
Manager ], Ron Ross [ Homeless Man ] rc: Estelle, Frank
George is forced to move in with his parents. He gets a job as a hand model and becomes
obsessed with keeping his hands safe. Kramer’s girlfriend whom design clothes and talks with a
real low voice asks Jerry a question that he politely answers yes to. He agrees to wear one of her
new puffy pirate shirts on a Today Show appearance he is making.
b: 23 Sep 93 pc: 503 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
gs: Timothy Stack [ Dwayne ], Anna Gunn [ Amy ], Tom Towles [ Tough Guy ], Rance Howard [
Blind Man ], Michael Saad [ Doctor ] rc: Uncle Leo
George’s glasses are stolen and he needs a new pair, so he goes to see Kramer’s friend to get a
thirty percent discount; all Elaine gets is bitten by a dog and then she becomes afraid of them.
While not wearing his glasses, George thinks he sees Jerry’s girlfriend kissing Jerry’s cousin and
Jerry tries to figure out if it’s true.
b: 30 Sep 93 pc: 502 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom Cherones
“The Sniffing Accountant”
gs: John Kapelos [ Barry ], Marty Rackham [ Jake Jarmel ], Patrick Cronin [ Farkus ], Christa
Miller [ Ellen ], Ralph Harris Jr. [ Ralph ], Maria Stanton [ Woman in Diner ], Deck McKenzie [
Mitch ] rc: Newman, Estelle, Frank, Lippman
George’s father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Evidence points to Jerry’s accountant
being a drug user. So Jerry, Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth. Elaine’s new
boyfriend is perfect except for his use of an exclamation point.
b: 7 Oct 93 pc: 504 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: This episode was recorded on 14 Sep 93 and was attended by 18 members of the
Vandelay Industries Mailing List. Christa Miller will reappear as another character in “The
gs: Charles Levin [ Mohel ], Debra Mooney [ Mrs. Sweedler ], Tom Alan Robbins [ Stan ], Jeannie
Elias [ Myra ], John Gegenhuber [ Resident ], Tia Riebling [ Woman ], Frank Noon [ Patient ]
George gets a great parking spot that becomes a target. Kramer thinks that he has stumbled on
the product of a genetic engineering experiment, a “pig man”. Elaine and Jerry are nervous about
the religious duties they must do when they agree to become godparents to a couple’s newborn,
including getting the Mohel and holding the baby for the circumcision.
b: 14 Oct 93 pc: 505 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: I’ve removed the note about The Godfather reference. There are numerous obscure
references such as this buried within the series, identifying and noting them all would be
unwieldy, so let’s not start.
“The Lip Reader”
gs: Christopher Darga [ Driver ], Linda Kash [ Gwen ], Jerry Sroka [ Todd ], Marlee Matlin [ Laura
], Veralyn Jones [ Renee ], Dylan Haggerty [ Young Man ], Bret Anthony [ Teen ] rc: Newman
Jerry is smitten with a line judge at the US Open, but after he gets her attention, he finds out she
is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants to use Jerry’s
girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While she is
reading the lips, Kramer does the translation, that gets George in more trouble. Kramer becomes
a ball man at the Open, when Monica Seles returns to tennis.
b: 28 Oct 93 pc: 506 w: Carol Leifer d: Tom Cherones
“The Non-Fat Yogurt”
gs: Maryedith Burrell [ Maryedith ], Peter Keleghan [ Lloyd ], John Christian Graas [ Matthew ],
Hugh A. Rose [ Doctor ], Lisa Houle [ Cheryl ], Jed Mills [ Joel ], John Gabriel [ Newscaster ],
Darrell Kunitomi [ Lab Technician ] rc: Newman, Estelle, Frank
When they begin to gain weight, Jerry and Elaine suspect that Kramer has made a bad
investment in a non-fat yogurt shop. Jerry inadvertently uses the “F” word, as a result so does
Maryedith’s son Matthew, a lot. George meets an old childhood friend whom he is convinced is
trying to humiliate him. Elaine begins dating this friend and gives him an idea for his mayoral
candidate’s campaign. Kramer’s date with a lab technician results in strange test results for the
future mayor of New York City.
b: 4 Nov 93 pc: 508 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Around this time it was reported that four versions of the ending of this episode were shot.
The correct one being used based on results of the mayoral election being held at that time. The
syndicated rerun of this episode shows more footage of the mayoral campaign, featuring Rudy
Giuliani, who was not credited for his appearance (unless you count the caption during his press
gs: Anthony Ponzini [ Enzo ], David Ciminello [ Gino ], Michael Fairman [ Mr. Pensky ], Jack
Shearer [ Mr. Tuttle ], Kenny Myles [ Mike ], Peggy Maltby [ Clarisse ], David Richardson [
Customer ] rc: Newman
George is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful or not, so he decides to go
into the office and act like an employee while the boss is on vacation. Jerry is reluctant to dump
his old barber even when he is given a real bad haircut. Kramer arranges to get him a clandestine
haircut at the apartment of his barber. Newman is charged by Jerry’s barber to get a sample of
Jerry’s hair when he suspects foul play.
b: 11 Nov 93 pc: 507 w: Andy Robin d: Tom Cherones
gs: Lisa Edelstein [ Karen ], Jennifer Coolidge [ Jody ], Anthony Cistaro [ Joel Rifkin ], John Glen
Bishop [ Ticket Man ], Hiram Kasten [ Michael ], Lisa Pescia [ Lisa ] Elaine meets a man who’s
perfect except his name is the same as a notorious serial killer. Jerry is frustrated when he can’t
get his girlfriend, who’s a masseuse, to give him a massage, even Kramer is a customer. George
is obsessed when Jerry’s girlfriend doesn’t like him, so he tries extra hard to get her to like him,
much to his own girlfriend’s dismay.
b: 18 Nov 93 pc: 509 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: On an episode of Love and War that was broadcast on 6 Dec 93, Jerry and Larry David
appear in a cameo as themselves.
Viewer Jeff Holland notes that one of the names that Elaine suggests her boyfriend change his
name to was O.J.. Several months later of course we all know what happened to that name.
“The Cigar Store Indian”
gs: Kimberly Norris [ Winona ], Sam Lloyd [ Ricky ], Carissa Channing [ Sylvia ], Ralph Manza [
Gepetto ], Al Roker [ Himself ], Veralyn Jones [ Renee ], Lisa Pescia [ Joanne ], Benjamin Lum [
Mailman ], Irvin Mosley Jr. [ Spike ] rc: Estelle, Frank, Lippman
Jerry helps George out with a coffee stable stain and makes Elaine take the subway home and
gives her Mr. Costanza’s TV Guide to read. While on the train Elaine meets a strange man
obsessed with television. George meets a woman at a refinishing store who he brings back to his
parent’s home and passes it off as his. A female Native American that he is interested in, thinks
Jerry is racially insensitive when he presents Elaine with a cigar-store Indian as a peace offering.
George gets grounded when his parents return from vacation and find an unused prophylactic in
their bed and a missing TV Guide. Kramer has an idea for a coffee table book on coffee tables
that Elaine doesn’t like but Mr. Lippman does.
b: 9 Dec 93 pc: 510 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom Cherones
gs: Kay E. Kuter [ Older Priest ], Molly Hagan [ Sister Roberta ], Tom Verica [ Doctor ], Kimberley
Campbell [ Tawni ], Jana Marie Hupp [ Sasha ], Bill Rose [ Younger Priest ], Randy Brenner [
Waiter ], Darlene Kardon [ Mrs. Lupchek ], Karen Rizzo [ Woman Hailing Cab ] rc: Frank, Estelle
George changes his religion to Latvian Orthodox to keep his girlfriend who must break up with
him for religious reasons. Jerry finds a tube of fungus cream in his girlfriend’s medicine cabinet
and fakes an illness until he can figure out what the cream is used for. He asks Elaine to ask her
current boyfriend who’s a podiatrist. Kramer meets a sister at George’s new church who becomes
infatuated with him.
b: 16 Dec 93 pc: 511 w: Bruce Kirschbaum d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Paul Redkoles notes that Jerry’s girlfriend is sub-letting apartment 5E, which we
all know to be Newman’s apartment.
gs: Jami Gertz [ Jane ], Dan Cortese [ Tony ] While in a bathroom stall, Elaine needs some toilet
paper, but the woman in the next stall refuses to give her a piece. The woman is Jerry’s girlfriend
whose voice Kramer recognizes from a telephone sex line. Elaine’s boyfriend, whose face she
just loves, takes George & Kramer rock climbing. After his accident, Elaine isn’t sure his face will
be the same.
b: 6 Jan 94 pc: 512 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Jeff Holland that this is the first episode where Jerry actually uses his computer.
He uses it at least once more, during the last season. And on a related note, while the computer
in the background has been an Apple Macintosh, some viewers have said that they spotted a
copy of Windows 95 lurking in the background in future episodes.
“The Dinner Party”
gs: Fred Pinkard [ Newsstand Guy ], Frank Novak [ Clerk ], Mark Holton [ David ], Suzy Soro [
Barbara ], Kathryn Kates [ Counterwoman ], S. Marc Jordan [ Man in Bakery ], Langdon Bensing [
Man on Street ], Sayed Badreya [ Foreign Man ], Amjad J. Oaisen [ Hussein ], Roger Eschbacher
[ Man with Cane ] The gang struggles to find gifts for a dinner party. Jerry and Elaine stop at a
bakery to get a cake, but they forget to take a number and lose the chocolate pastry and the one
they get has a hair on it. Kramer and George try to get the wine but must get change for a $100
dollar bill and wait for a double-parker to return to his car.
b: 3 Feb 94 pc: 514 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Kyle Matschke noticed a blooper in this episode. When Jerry is holding the black
and white cookie, the colors keep changing sides every time the shot cuts back to Jerry.
Viewer Jay Pollack rechecks George’s math.
“George and Kramer go to buy the wine, the guy says it costs $13.05. Then they go to the
newsstand to get change and end up spending $6.75. George says, “Great, now with the wine, I
am in over $20!” Add the totals: $19.80, so he is not in over $20!! Oopps!”
Another viewer, Dave Antonoff says, “What about the tax Jay?” I should have caught that.
“The Marine Biologist”
gs: Carol Kane [ Corinne ], George Murdock [ Testikov ], Rosalind Allen [ Diane ], David
Blackwood [ Hotel Clerk ], Heather Morgan [ Woman on Beach ] rc: Newman, Lippman
Jerry meets an old college classmate who asked about George, whom Jerry says is now a
“marine biologist.” An infuriated Russian writer tosses an electronic organizer belonging to Elaine
out of a limousine that hits a passerby on the head. Kramer struggles with his golf swing and
sand. While walking along the beach, George is called on to use his marine biology skills to save
b: 10 Feb 94 pc: 513 w: Ron Hague & Charlie Rubin d: Tom Cherones
gs: Suzanne Snyder [ Audrey ], Christine Dunford [ Saleswoman ], Reni Santoni [ Poppie ], Lane
Davies [ MacKenzie ], Mark Beltzman [ Bob ], Sunday Theodore [ Olive ], Sam Lloyd [ Ricky ],
Paul Mantee [ Health Inspector ], Patricia Belcher [ Woman #1 ], Pamela Mant [ Woman #2 ],
Bernard Hocke [ Guy in Diner ], Eamonn Roche [ Waiter ], Robert Kino [ Ricky’s Boss ], Tony
Edwards [ Businessman ] Jerry can’t believe that his girlfriend won’t share a piece of pie with him.
There is a mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine and she wants to know where it came from.
George is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George’s new
suit makes a noise.
b: 17 Feb 94 pc: 515 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom Cherones
gs: Mark Tymchyshyn [ Phil ], Karla Tamburrelli [ Daphne ], Debbie Lee Carrington [ Tammy ], W.
Earl Brown [ Al ], Michael Rivkin [ Fulton ], Joe Gieb [ Johnny ], Layne Beamer [ Father ], Thomas
Dekker [ Son ], Jerome Betler [ Director ] rc: Mickey
Kramer talks his stand-in friend, a “little person” into getting lifts, to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick
friend, who’s in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George and his latest girlfriend have
nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won’t when he finds out she is being
urged to break it off. One of Jerry’s friends “takes it out” while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry’s
friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again.
b: 24 Feb 94 pc: 516 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
gs: Courteney Cox [ Meryl ], Scott LaRose [ Greg ], Joseph Ragno [ Marty ], Rebecca Glenn [
Paula ], Nick LaTour [ Grandpa ], Susan Segal [ Waitress ], Lili Bernard [ Anna ], Lawrence A.
Mandley [ Owner ] rc: Morty, Helen, Uncle Leo
A girlfriend poses as Jerry’s wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower
at the health club as a bathroom and is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting
mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer’s getting ready to impress his
b: 17 Mar 94 pc: 517 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer Liz Pollack notes that when Jerry is bickering with Meryl about the can opener
every time they switch the shot the bottle that is on the counter switches sides of the six pack
“The Raincoats (1)”
gs: Michael G. Hagerty [ Rudy ], Dorien Wilson [ Alec ], Annie Korzen [ Doris Klompus ], Judge
Reinhold [ Aaron ], Lisa Pescia [ Joanne ], Melanie Smith [ Rachel ] rc: Frank, Estelle, Morty,
Jerry’s parents are staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris and he’s just returned
from three weeks on the road can’t get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of
the big brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfelds avoid the Costanza’s
dinner invitation. Elaine’s latest boyfriend, who’s a “close talker,” becomes unusually fixated on
Jerry’s parents and shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry’s father to sell
belt-less raincoats to a secondhand shop and George sells his father’s moth-ridden cabana style
clothing, right before they plan a cruise.
b: 28 Apr 94 pc: 519 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
“The Raincoats (2)”
gs: Michael G. Hagerty [ Rudy ], Dorien Wilson [ Alec ], Stephen Pearlman [ Mr. Goldstein ],
Annie Korzen [ Doris Klompus ], Judge Reinhold [ Aaron ], Melanie Smith [ Rachel ], LaRita
Shelby [ Tour Leader ], Jason Manary [ Joey ] rc: Newman, Frank, Estelle, Morty, Helen, Klompus
Jerry and his girlfriend get some time alone with each other at a movie, Schindler’s List, they don’t
see it; however, Newman sees it and them. A delay in the shipment of the raincoats will make the
Seinfelds miss their flight to France, George uses this as an opportunity to get his “little” brother
back to his father. The Seinfelds manage to avoid meeting the Costanzas in New York City.
b: 28 Apr 94 pc: 520 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
gs: Melanie Chartoff [ Robin ], Veanne Cox [ Toby ], Dom Irrera [ Ronnie ], Jon Favreau [ Clown ],
Lisa Pescia [ Joanne ], Hiram Kasten [ Michael ], Patience Cleveland [ Old Lady ], Lawrence
LeJohn [ Fireman ] rc: Frank (voice only, uncredited), Estelle (voice only, uncredited)
Kramer is dating one of Elaine’s co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her to
one of Jerry’s shows, where she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national
magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend’s apartment,
during her son’s birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling the woman where she
works. She runs out of the office onto the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe,
takes a bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from a gunman. Inspired by Kramer’s tale,
George tries to confront his feelings of cowardice.
b: 5 May 94 pc: 518 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
gs: Melanie Smith [ Rachel ], Lisa Mende [ Carol ], Melora Walters [ Jane ], Richard Burgi [ Ben ],
Mark L. Taylor [ Michael ], Jesse D. Goins [ Cop ] Everyone makes a trip to the Hamptons to “see
the baby” and enjoy the weekend. George’s girlfriend goes topless and everyone sees her chest
before he does. “The baby” is the most hideous thing they’ve ever seen. Elaine is confused when
a handsome doctor refers to her as “breathtaking” – the same term he later uses to describe the
baby. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Jerry’s girlfriend sees George naked, after he’s just gotten
out of the pool, so something isn’t as it should be.
b: 12 May 94 pc: 522 w: Peter Mehlman & Carol Leifer d: Tom Cherones
gs: Marty Rackham [ Jake Jarmel ], Siobhan Fallon [ Tina ], Paul Gleason [ Cushman ], Dedee
Pfeiffer [ Victoria ], Melanie Smith [ Rachel ], Regis Philbin [ Himself ], Kathie Lee Gifford [ Herself
], Hiram Kasten [ Michael ], French Stewart [ Manager ], Ken Takemoto [ Chairman ], Fritz
Mashimo [ Interpreter ], Susan Segal [ Waitress ], Oscar Jordan [ Counterperson ], Rolando
Molina [ Punk #1 ], Michael Friedman [ Punk #2 ], Marvin Braverman [ Poker Player #1 ], Wesley
Thompson [ Poker Player #2 ], Jeff Barton [ Poker Player #3 ], Jeffrey Von Meyer [ Poker Player
#4 ], Larry David [ Voice of George Steinbrenner (uncredited) ] rc: Estelle, Frank, Lippman
George comes to the realization that he should try to do the opposite of everything, so he does,
his luck changes and everything begins to go his way including getting a girlfriend, a job with the
Yankees and moving out of his parents house. Things begin to be unlucky for Elaine after she
buys a box of “Jujyfruits.” Kramer appears on Regis & Kathie Lee to promote his coffee table
book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck has been
“even Steven.” Elaine’s eating of “Jujyfruits” causes Pendant Publishing to go under, and later
she realizes that she and George have traded places.
b: 19 May 94 pc: 521 w: Andy Cowan and Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Starting with this episode, Larry David supplies the voice of George Steinbrenner.
Steinbrenner is only seen from the back. Steinbrenner’s back is occasionally played by Larry
David or actor Lee Bear. Kenny “real” Kramer does a great impression of Larry David and by
default does a great impression of Steinbrenner.
Viewer Paul Redkoles notes that in this episode Kramer mentions he thought of the idea for the
book while skiing; however, it is in “The Cigar Store Indian”, that Kramer first thinks of and
mentions the book.
6th Season 1994
gs: Gail Strickland [ Landis ], Marguerite MacIntyre [ Karen ], Danny Tartabull [ Himself ], Buck
Showalter [ Himself ] rc: Mr. Pitt
Jerry gets a date with Miss Rhode Island, a Miss America contestant; when they need a
chaperone Kramer is available. On the date, Kramer gives her advice and becomes her personal
coach. Elaine tries to get a job at Doubleday, filling in the shoes once filled by Jackie Onassis;
instead she gets a job being the personal assistant of a top executive who likes white socks.
Meanwhile, George decides that the Yankees need to change their uniforms from polyester to
b: 22 Sep 94 pc: 601 w: Larry David, Bill Masters & Bob Shaw d: Andy Ackerman
“The Big Salad”
gs: Michelle Forbes [ Julie ], Jerry Levine [ Stationer ], Marita Geraghty [ Margaret ], Barry Nolan [
Reporter ], Dean Hallo [ Gendason ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ] rc: Newman
Elaine’s boss wants a special mechanical pencil, so Elaine tries to get one from a stationary store
where the clerk has a thing for her. George and his girlfriend pick up a “big salad” for Elaine, that
his girlfriend gives to Elaine and she thanks her. Later, George points out that he bought the “big
salad.” Jerry discovers that his current girlfriend once dated Newman, who broke off his
relationship with her. Kramer plays golf with an ex-ball player who breaks a rule of golf, they have
a fight, and later the ball player is wanted for questioning in the murder of a dry cleaner, where a
golf tee was involved. Kramer later helps him evade the police in a white Ford Bronco.
b: 29 Sep 94 pc: 602 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
“The Pledge Drive”
gs: Kelly Coffield [ Noreen ], Billye Ree Wallace [ Nana ], Brian Reddy [ Dan ], Rebecca Staab [
Kristin ], Danny Tartabull [ Himself ], Tom Wright [ Executive (Morgan) ], James Reynolds [
Banker ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ], F.J. Rio [ Street Tough ], Thom Vernon [ Driver ] rc: Uncle
Leo, Mr. Pitt
Jerry comments that a friend was hitting on him and Elaine tries to find out if what was true, but
gets the voice of the woman and her current boyfriend confused. Elaine’s boss eats his Snickers
bar with a knife and fork and idea that soon catches on. George thinks a waitress gave him the
finger. Jerry gets caught throwing away a thank you card. Jerry cashes some old birthday checks
from his grandmother. Jerry’s working a PBS pledge drive and gets George to bring a Yankee to
appear with him, while en-route to the studio, someone gives George the finger.
b: 6 Oct 94 pc: 603 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Rick Streeter notes that in “The Statue” George says that his parents had this
exact statue on the mantle of their apartment, but in this episode he says that if his parents had a
mantle when he was growing up he might be a completely different person.
“The Chinese Woman”
gs: Kelly Coffield [ Noreen ], Angela Dohrmann [ Donna Chang ], Will Utay [ Dr. Korval ], Lucy Lin
[ Hostess ], Jack Tracy [ Man ], Larry David [ Man With Cape (uncredited) ] rc: Frank, Estelle
Jerry and Elaine see George’s father with a man with a cape but don’t say hello. Jerry discovers a
Chinese woman on George’s phone line after the wires get crossed and he gets a date with her.
Kramer gets worried about his sperm count, so he goes to a fertility clinic and then makes a
change in his choice of undergarments. Elaine ruins her friend Noreen’s latest romance with a
long talker. The Chinese woman turns out to be Jewish and from Long Island. Estelle gets advice
about her relationship with Frank from the Chinese woman, but discounts it when she meets her.
George’s life is made miserable when his parent’s separate.
b: 13 Oct 94 pc: 604 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Reni Santoni [ Poppie ], David James Elliott [ Carl ], Robert Hooks [ Joe Temple ], Denise
Dowse [ Mother ], Patton Oswalt [ Clerk ], Diana Theodore [ Remy ], Jessica Hecht [ Marie ], Mari
Weiss [ Woman #1 ], Tamar Cooper [ Woman #2 ], Beverly C. Brown [ Woman #3 ], Jeris Lee
Poindexter [ Man ] Elaine begins to date the guy who delivers Jerry’s new couch. Kramer plans to
start the pizza business he thought of back in “Male Unbonding” with Poppie. George joins a
book club, but tries to rent the movie so he can bluff his way through the meeting. Jerry and
Elaine’s discussion of the abortion issue causes trouble for Poppie, Elaine’s relationship & Jerry’s
new couch. George spends the evening with the family that has rented the film.
b: 27 Oct 94 pc: 605 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Shawn Barat notes that the company that moves the couch is the same company
whose phone number Elaine uses to avoid receiving a phone call from the Denim Vest Guy in
gs: Lois Nettleton [ Mrs. Enright ], Elina Lˆwensohn [ Katya ], Jessica Hecht [ Lindsay ], Maurice
Godin [ Misha ], James Sweeney [ Aronson ], David Blackwood [ Beck ], Phil Ramsey [ Man in
Car ], Damian London [ Party Guest ] rc: Mr. Pitt
George and Kramer convince Jerry he’ll be missing out on something if he stops dating a
Rumanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and Kramer find out about one of George’s bathroom habits.
Kramer must pass a kidney stone. The mother of George’s girlfriend sees him eat something out
of a trash bin, later cleaning a windshield & one of his bathroom habits. Elaine’s boss becomes
obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting, so he sends her to represent him in a huge
b: 3 Nov 94 pc: 606 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Tracy Kolis [ Kelly ], Daniel Gerroll [ Simon ], Linda Wallem [ Hildy ], Lawrence A. Mandley [
Manager / Monk’s ], Michael Kaplan [ Waiter ] rc: Bania
Elaine brings over a man she met in England and he turns out to be a real bounder. Jerry accepts
an Armani suit from an obnoxious comedian, the only condition, he must treat him to a meal at a
restaurant; however, what makes up a meal. George goes for a walk with a waitress from Monk’s
and manure in the path sums up his relationship with her. After his kidney stone, Kramer decides
to eat only fresh foods.
b: 10 Nov 94 pc: 608 w: Fred Stoller d: Andy Ackerman
“The Mom & Pop Store”
gs: Jon Voight [ Himself ], Elsa Raven [ Mom ], Michael Robello [ Pop ], Tom Wright [ Morgan ],
Ken Thorley [ Car Salesman ], Dan Frischman [ Guy on Phone ], Rick Fitts [ Dentist ], Nancy
Balbirer [ Woman at Party ], Pat Asanti [ Electrician ], Steve Brady [ Man at Party ], Matt Gallini [
Tough Guy ] rc: Mr. Pitt, Whatley
A salesman convinces George to buy a convertible once owned by “Jon Voight.” Kramer tries to
save a small shoe-repair business, but his good intentions affect Jerry in a big way. Elaine wins
tickets for Mr. Pitt, who’s always wanted to participate in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
b: 17 Nov 94 pc: 607 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: On 24 Nov 94, instead of an episode of Seinfeld being on, Jerry hosted a one hour special
highlighting his two favorite comedians, Bud Abbott & Lou Costello. The special was called Abbott
& Costello Meet Jerry Seinfeld.
gs: Vicki Lewis [ Ada ], Joseph R. Sicari [ Willie ], Arminae Azarian [ Saleswoman ], Mitzi McCall [
Donna ], Richard Marion [ Guy ], Thomas Mills [ Moviegoer ], Glynis McCants [ Woman ],
Courtney Taylor [ Attractive Applicant ] rc: Bania
Jerry confronts his dry cleaner, whom he spotted wearing a jacket that he brought in for cleaning.
George passes over hiring an attractive secretary for a less attractive one, he thinks he’ll be able
to get some work done; however, the secretary’s efficiency turns him on, so he gets her a raise
and then she makes more than he does. Kramer gets Uma Thurman’s phone number and sells
Bania his suit at a women’s clothing store then he hides in a dressing room until he can get some
clothing. At this same store, Elaine tries to buy a dress, but is unsatisfied with the size of the
mirrors in the store.
b: 8 Dec 94 pc: 609 w: Carol Leifer & Marjorie Gross d: David Owen Trainor
NOTE: Viewer Kevin Hercules notes the following blooper: When Kramer is in the dressing room
in his underwear, his wallet is in the elastic. After he and Jerry are talking for a while, the wallet
disappears without him taking it out.
Another viewer notes that Kramer must have gotten used to wearing boxer shorts, instead of
briefs or nothing at all, as seen in “The Chinese Woman.”
gs: Todd Kimsey [ Ned ], Renee Props [ Lois ], Don R. McManus [ Duncan ], Vicki Lewis [ Ada ],
Claude Earl Jones [ Mr. Bevilaqua ], Mark Christopher Lawrence [ Boss ], Michael Sorich [ Castro
], Denise Poirier [ Arlene ], Spencer Klein [ Kid ], Martin Chow [ Lew ], Eva Svensson [ Woman ]
Through his current girlfriend, Lois, Jerry meets an old rival, who suspects that he cheated in a
high school race and he wants a rematch with Jerry to prove he was faster. Elaine is put on a
“blacklist” for Chinese food delivery and finds out her boyfriend is a Communist. George responds
to a personal ad in a Communist newspaper while at work, when Steinbrenner hears about it, he
wants to see George in his office. Through his friend Mickey, Kramer becomes a department
store Santa, who later spouts out Communist propaganda.
b: 15 Dec 94 pc: 612 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David s: Tom Gammill & Max
Pross and Larry David & Sam Kass d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Frank McKinney reminds me that we gets Elaine’s address in this episode as 16
W. 75th St., #2-G.
gs: Sheree North [ Babs Kramer ], Gail Strickland [ Landis ], Charlotte Lewis [ Nina ], Jann Karam
[ Sandi ], Terry Sweeney [ Keith ], Heather Medway [ Laura ], Clive Rosengren [ Mr. Clotworthy ],
Jacqueline M. Houston [ Lorraine ], Cheryl Francis Harrington [ Waitress ], Tish Smiley [ Woman ]
Elaine lets a potential employer borrow Mr. Pitt’s tennis racket, but the injury suffered may ruin
her chances, especially when she must get his racket back. Jerry’s girlfriend never laughs, but he
meets her roommate who does, so Jerry decides he would like to make “the switch.” George’s
model girlfriend may be bulimic. He needs proof, so he meets Kramer’s mother, who’s a
bathroom matron. While there he finds out Kramer’s first name, Cosmo. Kramer decides it is time
to be himself and begins to use his first name. George has the perfect plan for “the switch,” a
menage a trois.
b: 5 Jan 95 pc: 610 w: Bruce Kirschbaum and Sam Kass d: Andy Ackerman
“The Label Maker”
gs: Jessica Tuck [ Bonnie ], Cleto Augusto [ Scott ], Wayne Grace [ Ukranian ] rc: Newman,
Elaine and Jerry are suspicious of a friend’s gift, when a gift Elaine gave him, a label maker, is
given to Jerry in return for some Superbowl tickets Jerry has but can’t use because “The Drake”
is getting married on Superbowl Sunday and he is in the wedding party. George convinces his
girlfriend to get her male roommate to move out, that he soon regrets. Kramer takes playing a
game of Risk against Newman seriously. The Superbowl tickets pass through several hands and
Jerry sees the game with his worst nightmare.
b: 19 Jan 95 pc: 611 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Dave Antonoff note that while the outside of the stadium looked like the formerly
named Joe Robbie Stadium, it most definitely was not. I’m not surprised, it would be to costly to
shoot that on location, although I suppose someone on the production staff could have gone on a
trip to Florida to recreate the setting in Hollywood.
gs: Marty Rackham [ Jake Jarmel ], Barbara Alyn Woods [ Debby ], Ivory Ocean [ Officer Morgan
], Basil Hoffman [ Salesman ], Lillian Lehman [ Judge ], Jon Lovitz [ Gary Fogel ], Danny Breen [
Guy With Glasses ], Bob Shaw [ Cabbie ], Dale Harimoto [ Reporter ], Joe Ochman [ Customer ],
Elisabeth Sjoli [ Woman ] rc: Newman, Lippman
George meets an old friend who’s spent the last few months undergoing chemotherapy, that
everyone new except him. Kramer calls a litterbug “a pig” near a cop who’s on a quest to catch a
longtime parking ticket scofflaw. Kramer wanting to change his image, asks Elaine where her old
boyfriend got his glasses. He goes to see him at a book signing and says hi for Elaine, that
means that she has lost the “upper hand” in their breakup, so she confronts him and then gets
even by getting a copy of his glasses. George finds out from Gary, that he lied about his cancer
and has been taking advantage of Jerry’s kindness. Kramer discovers the identity of “the
scofflaw.” George gets a toupee.
b: 26 Jan 95 pc: 613 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Daniel Benzali was originally scheduled to play the part of the officer.
“Highlights of a Hundred (1) (a.k.a. The Clip Show)”
Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a “show about
b: 2 Feb 95 pc: 623 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: To make my episode count agree with the number that Jerry cited on The Tonight Show
in the spring of 1997, I have now included this special in the numbering of the guide and also split
it into two parts.
“Highlights of a Hundred (2) (a.k.a. The Clip Show)”
Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a “show about
b: 2 Feb 95 pc: 624 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: To make my episode count agree with the number that Jerry cited on The Tonight Show
in the spring of 1997, I have now included this special in the numbering of the guide and also split
it into two parts.
gs: Robert Mailhouse [ Robert ], Katherine LaNasa [ Cathy ], Jonathan Gries [ Homeless Man ],
Ed Winter [ Mr. Stevenson ], Georgann Johnson [ Mrs. Stevenson ], Joan Elizabeth [ Denise ],
John F. O’Donohue [ Gus ], Jerry Diner [ Lou ], Mirron E. Willis [ Officer #1 ], Ken Kerman [
Officer #2 ] Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. George, who’s wearing now
wearing his toupee, discovers that the woman Kramer has set him up with, is bald. Kramer gives
a homeless man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups for $50 a lineup. Jerry
begins to date a cop, but she wants him to take a lie detector test, she thinks he is lying about
NOT watching Melrose Place.
b: 9 Feb 95 pc: 615 w: Carol Leifer d: Andy Ackerman
“The Kiss Hello”
gs: Wendie Malick [ Wendy ], Billye Ree Wallace [ Nana ], Carol Leifer [ Receptionist ], Julio
Oscar Mechoso [ Julio ], Rondi Reed [ Mary ], Gene Elman [ Buddy ], Mary Scheer [ Joan ],
Louisa Abernathy [ Nurse ], Timothy McNeil [ Jeff ], Mark Fite [ Jack ], C.D. LaBove [ Steve ],
Wendy Worthington [ Louise ], Belinda Barry [ Stephanie ] rc: Helen, Morty, Uncle Leo
Elaine’s friend, a physical therapist, whom Jerry must “kiss hello,” has an old style hairdo, that
Jerry and Elaine want Kramer to comment on. Jerry’s grandmother wants him to open a ketchup
bottle and she tells a story about some money that Uncle Leo was supposed to give his sister.
Jerry’s father is anxious to collect the money and interest Leo owes. Kramer puts tenant pictures
up in the lobby and soon Jerry is giving every woman in the building, the “kiss hello”; however,
when he stops, he becomes unpopular. George gets his arm looked at, misses a follow up
appointment and must pay for that visit. The therapist skips out on her patients, including George,
and goes skiing with Elaine. After their trip, she drops Elaine off 3 blocks from her apartment.
Elaine injures her shoulder carrying her equipment home, and can’t get any complementary
treatment. Jerry gets proof of his uncle’s dishonesty.
b: 16 Feb 95 pc: 614 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Larry Miller [ Doorman ], Patrick Cronin [ Farkus ], Reni Santoni [ Poppie ], Edith Fields [ Mrs.
Payton ], Nick Jameson [ Horst ], Jack Betts [ Mr. Green ], Barbara Pilavin [ German Woman ],
Toni Sawyer [ Tenant #1 ], Nigel Gibbs [ Tenant #2 ], Deck McKenzie [ Delivery Man ], Trudi
Forristal [ Buxom Woman ] rc: Frank, Estelle, Mr. Pitt
The doorman in Mr. Pitt’s building, cause’s trouble for Jerry who was only trying to be nice.
Kramer robs George on the street for some German tourists. George’s father is living with him
and when he removes his shirt, George and Kramer see that he has breasts. So, Kramer
develops a new undergarment for males that will alleviate this problem. Jerry offers his soiled
couch to replace the one that was stolen while he was “on duty.”
b: 23 Feb 95 pc: 616 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Anthony Starke [ Jimmy ], Robert Katims [ Deensfrei ], Mel Torme [ Himself ], Alison Armitage
[ Cheryl ], J.D. Bridges [ Paramedic ], Elan Carter [ Receptionist ] rc: Wilhelm, Whatley
The guys play a game of basketball with “the Jimmy,” a man who talks about himself in the third
person. Jimmy sells odd shaped training shoes and George is an interested investor. Fresh from
the gym, he attends a Yankees meeting about thefts, during which he sweats profusely. Jerry
goes to the dental office and discovers they now carry Penthouse in the waiting room. Elaine gets
tickets to a benefit for the AMCA (Able Mentally Challenged Adults) featuring Mel Torme, the
“Velvet Fog.” Elaine tries to meet a handsome guy at the gym, but instead talks with “the Jimmy,”
who makes the date for himself. On a follow-up visit to the dental office, Jerry feels the dentist
and his hygienist may have lived out a fantasy during his time in the chair, the type of thing you
might read in Penthouse. Kramer has a visit to the dentist complete with Novocain, later while
wearing a pair of Jimmy’s shoes, winds up getting a him a seat at the main table of the benefit.
b: 16 Mar 95 pc: 617 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Billye Ree Wallace [ Nana ], Christa Miller [ Paula ], Dana Wheeler-Nicholson [ Shelly ], Guy
Siner [ Mandel ], Ellis E. Williams [ Karl ], Coby Turner [ Judy ], Wayne C. Dvorak [ Teacher ],
Norman Brenner [ Passerby ] rc: Newman, Morty, Helen, Uncle Leo
Jerry is disgusted when he finds out he was eating pecans that were just in his girlfriend’s mouth.
George finds a doodle that his girlfriend drew of him. Kramer is eating some tasty peaches that
come in season for two weeks every year. Fleas force Jerry and his visiting parents out his
apartment. Elaine has an interview with a publisher that has suite of rooms at a fancy hotel and
that is where Jerry parents get to stay. Jerry stays with his girlfriend. Elaine must go into Jerry’s
fumigated apartment to get an unpublished manuscript that she is supposed to read for her
interview and she can’t find it, but Kramer read it in Jerry’s apartment and the gas causes him to
lose his sense of taste. George finds out that his girlfriend really doesn’t care what he looks like.
Jerry figures out that Newman gave him the fleas. Meanwhile, Jerry’s parents, Uncle Leo and
Nana live high on the hog at the hotel.
b: 6 Apr 95 pc: 618 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Daniel Massey notes that Newman’s apartment in this episode is 5F.
“The Fusilli Jerry”
gs: Marla Sucharetza [ Nancy ], Lou Cutell [ Dr. Cooperman ], Yvette Cruise [ Clerk ] rc: Estelle,
Estelle is getting an eye job. Kramer gets his new license plates from the DMV, but the plates say
“ASSMAN.” Jerry is disturbed when he finds out his mechanic used his “move” on Elaine while
making love to her. Kramer makes a statue of Jerry out of fusilli pasta and he makes the most of
his new license plates. Jerry confronts his mechanic and later requires his services. Frank
becomes the unwitting victim of one of those “freak” accidents proctologists are always telling
b: 27 Apr 95 pc: 619 w: Marjorie Gross s: Marjorie Gross & Jonathan Gross and Ron Hague &
Charlie Rubin d: Andy Ackerman
“The Diplomat’s Club”
gs: Tom Wright [ Morgan ], Robert Hooks [ Joe ], Debra Jo Rupp [ Katie ], Kim Zimmer [ Lenore ],
O’Neal Compton [ Earl ], Ellis E. Williams [ Karl, the exterminator ], John Cothran Jr. [ Man ],
William B. Jackson [ Doctor ], Christine Cattell [ Stewardess ], Diana Theodore [ Remy ], Berta
Maria Waagfjord [ Bridgette ], Mark Wheatle [ Waiter ] rc: Newman, Mr. Pitt
After his quick trip to Ithaca, Jerry plans to meet a super model at an airport club, but his
assistant, Katie, makes the trip a nightmare. Elaine says she will quit working for Mr. Pitt, but
finds out that she’s going to be in his will. She becomes a suspect when he overdoses his
medication. George tries to prove to his boss that he is not a racist, when he says his boss looks
like “Sugar” Ray Leonard. To prove it, he tries to find anyone who’s black that will be his friend.
While at the airport club, Kramer meets a rich Texan with whom he starts making bets. Kramer
hasn’t gambled in three years and when he begins to lose, he calls in Newman for reinforcement.
b: 4 May 95 pc: 620 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Adam Gutschmidt notes that this must be one of writer Steve Koren’s favorite
stories as a couple of characters from this story have appeared in his stories. These are the
characters: Katie who reappears in “The Abstinence” and Earl Haffler in “The English Patient”.
“The Face Painter”
gs: Katy Selverstone [ Siena ], Mark DeCarlo [ Alec Berg ], Raye Birk [ Mr. Pless ], Pierrino
Mascarino [ Father Hernandez ], Joe Lala [ Priest ], Peggy Lane O’Rourke [ Waitress ], David
Richardson [ Fan #1 ], Dave Powledge [ Fan #2 ], Jan Eddy [ Fan #3 ], Lawrence LeJohn [ Crowd
Member ] rc: Puddy
George and his girlfriend discuss toilet paper and he is in love. Elaine’s boyfriend paints his face
and his behavior at a hockey game, disturbs Jerry, Elaine and a passing priest. A monkey throws
a banana peel at Kramer, when he throws it back, the monkey becomes depressed and the zoo
demands an apology. George tries to tell his girlfriend that he loves her, but her reaction surprises
him. Jerry refuses to give the “necessary” follow-up courtesy thank you for the hockey tickets and
Kramer is outraged.
b: 11 May 95 pc: 622 w: Larry David s: Larry David & Fred Stoller d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Story writer Fred Stoller appears in an uncredited cameo as one of the fans behind the
gang and the face painter at the hockey game. Sitting next to Fred wearing a Rangers jersey is
the “real” Kramer. Viewer Jerry Balsam noticed that there is a character in this episode named
Alec Berg, which also happens to be the name of a one of the show’s writer-producers.
Coincidence? Also there is a visual reference to the fictional company called Gramercy, that Katy
Selverstone worked for in a popular series of commercials that she appeared in.
Viewer Alan Bright notes that in this episode George claims that he has never said I love you,
except to a dog. However, in “The Ex-Girlfriend”, George says that Marlene squeezed an “I love
you” return from him. Perhaps he was in denial.
Finally, Josh Tomel notes that 36-year-old Puddy would have been 20 years old when the Devils
moved to New Jersey in 1982 from Colorado. So he couldn’t have been watching them as a kid
and it is not very likely that he would have been a fan of the Colorado incarnation of the team.
gs: Bette Midler [ Herself ], June Kyoko Lu [ Ruby ], Amy Hill [ Kim ], Adelaide Miller [ Gennice ],
Bok Yun Chon [ Lotus ], Vonnie C. Rhee [ Sunny ], Craig Thomas [ Player #1 ], Michael James
McDonald [ Player #2 ], Lou DiMaggio [ Stagehand ], Jason Beck [ Umpire ], Bob Shaw [ Cabbie
], Johnny Silver [ Vendor #1 ], William Bastiani [ Vendor #2 ] rc: Frank, Peterman
George and Jerry are suspected, by the cast and Kramer, of deliberately injuring Bette Midler
during a softball game, giving Jerry’s girlfriend, Bette’s understudy, a chance to perform. Kramer
becomes Bette’s personal assistant. Elaine gets George’s father to translate for her when she
suspects that her manicurist has made some obvious snide remarks in a foreign tongue. While
crying about losing her manicurists, Elaine meets the owner of a catalog, J. Peterman, and gets
herself a new job.
b: 18 May 95 pc: 621 w: Marjorie Gross & Carol Leifer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: According to Kenny Kramer, Jack Luceno is Michael Richard’s double when shooting is
done in NYC.
7th Season 1995
gs: Mario Joyner [ Himself ], Janni Brenn [ Woman #2 ], Mailon Rivera [ Cop #1 ], Athena Massey
[ Melanie ], Ron Byron [ Man ], Renee Phillips [ Alice ], Cindy Cheung [ Woman #1 ] rc: Newman,
Frank, Estelle, Susan
Jerry and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make “a pact” to change
their ways, though Jerry doesn’t know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment
because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back
with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours of
convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) and Elaine commit a dognapping and
take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now
trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine
almost gets a good night of sleep.
b: 21 Sep 95 pc: 701 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Bruce Mahler [ Rabbi (Glickman) ], Kelly Perine [ Usher ], John Rubano [ Man ], Evie Peck [
Woman ] rc: Susan
Elaine’s dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable show. Kramer’s involvement in
the dognapping worries him when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record.
Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone the engagement. Elaine isn’t
“concerned” with George’s intentions, but is really jealous that he’s the first of the group to get
engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem, that he later relates to Jerry and
anyone else who’ll listen. Kramer and Jerry try to see Plan 9 From Outer Space; however,
Kramer “tries” to sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it and his lawyer says he has a case.
b: 28 Sep 95 pc: 702 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Bruce Mahler also played a rabbi character with Seinfeld writer/executive producer Larry
David on ABC’s Fridays from April 1980 to October 1982. That show was ABC’s answer to
Saturday Night Live and also featured Michael Richards, whose most notable character was a
small boy who played with toy soldiers in his backyard sandbox. Other Fridays regular performers
that have also appeared in Seinfeld include Maryedith Burrell and Melanie Chartoff.
gs: Mark Metcalf [ Maestro ], Gary Yates [ Security Guard ], Paul Michael [ Giggio ], James Noah
[ Ned ], Tim Bagley [ Manager ], Richard McGonagle [ Mr. Star ], Kenneth Ryan [ Mr. Burns ],
Kymberley S. Newberry [ Ms. Jordan ], David Wendelman [ Waiter ] rc: Susan, Jackie Chiles
George is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan and decides that he needs to help
a security guard that works at her uncle’s store. Kramer’s friend “Maestro”, makes a comment
about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine
begins dating the “Maestro.” Kramer’s out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee
house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets him “hopped up on the caffeine.” Jerry
asks Poppy about Tuscany and is referred to Poppy’s cousin, who makes him an offer he can’t
b: 5 Oct 95 pc: 703 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Mark Metcalf who played “Maestro” in this episode is probably best remembered for his
role of Douglas C. Niedermeyer in National Lampoon’s Animal House and the Twisted Sister
music video “We’re Not Gonna Take It.”
gs: Tom Wright [ Morgan ], Stacey Travis [ Holly ], Brian McNamara [ James ], Ian Patrick
Williams [ Stubs ], Paul O’Neill [ Himself ], Thomas Dekker [ Bobby ], Clive Rosengren [ Waiter ]
Elaine gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service; however, he likes dogs. A bit of
grapefruit pulp, from Jerry’s healthy breakfast, gets into George’s eye and causes problems for
him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry’s healthy diet conflicts with his dating of
Elaine’s cousin. Kramer promises a sick boy that Yankee Paul O’Neill will hit two home runs for
him, so he can get back a birthday card that he sold based on George’s wink.
b: 12 Oct 95 pc: 704 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Kyle Westphal notes that Jerry mentions he would like to date a deaf woman. Of
course he already has in “The Lip Reader”.
“The Hot Tub”
gs: Jeremiah Birkett [ Jean-Paul ], Leon Russom [ Clayton ], Ernie Lively [ Zeke ], Charles
Cyphers [ Gardner ], Kate Mulligan [ Sheri ], Susan Isaacs [ Woman ], Thom Barry [ Manager ],
Jeff Miller [ Event Guard ] rc: Wilhelm
George picks up a bad habit from some visiting baseball officials. During the time of the New York
City Marathon, Elaine has an out of country runner as her house guest. The runner had overslept
and missed the big race at the last Olympics and Jerry obsesses with ensuring that it doesn’t
happen again. Kramer gets a hot tub from his friend Lomez and Elaine has writer’s block.
b: 19 Oct 95 pc: 705 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Ryan Huddleston notes this episode is where Kramer first mentions his friend
Lomez. While Kyle Westphal seems to have missed this mention, he’s noted that Kramer has
also mentioned Lomez in the following episodes: “The Package”, “The Fatigues”, “The Slicer”,
“The Betrayal”, “The Apology”.
“The Soup Nazi”
gs: Alexandra Wentworth [ Sheila ], Larry Thomas [ Soup Nazi ], John Paragon [ Ray ], Yul
Vazquez [ Bob ], Thom Barry [ Super ], Vince Melocchi [ Furniture Guy ], Ana Gasteyer [ Woman
], Cedric Duplechain [ Customer ], Mike Michaud [ Customer ] rc: Newman, Susan, Bania
While on their way to the “soup place” Elaine finds an antique cabinet she wants. George makes
a mistake while trying to get his soup from the “Soup Nazi.” Elaine isn’t allowed to move her
cabinet into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine
discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry’s sweet-talking with his current girlfriend. Elaine makes an
ordering error in front of the “Soup Nazi,” gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In broad
daylight and in Kramer’s presence, two guys come along and take the cabinet. Kramer relates the
story of the cabinet to the “Soup Nazi,” who says he has a cabinet in the basement that Kramer
can have. Jerry’s girlfriend makes a faux pas in the “soup place” and Jerry disavows any
knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact. George and Susan
see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner and they begin to compete against each other. Susan
appreciates that George is showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the cabinet and
tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the “Soup Nazi” but gets even further on his bad
side. Jerry discovers the cabinet contains the “Soup Nazi’s” recipes and Elaine takes them for the
b: 2 Nov 95 pc: 706 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The writer of this episode used to be a staff writer on Late Show With David Letterman.
According to an article in the Reader Mail section of Aaron Barnhart’s Late Show News, Issue
#86, the character of the “Soup Nazi” was based on the owner of a soup stand in the
neighborhood of the Ed Sullivan Theater. The Late Show … staffers referred to him as the “Soup
Nazi.” The 21 Nov 95 issue of The Star contains an article with the following headline “WATCH
OUT SEINFELD, I’M GOING TO SMACK YOUR FACE”. The owner of Soup Kitchen
International, Al Yeganeh, is the man the character is based on. Al, busy enough already with his
business, doesn’t like the extra publicity his shop was given by this episode or the use of the word
“Nazi”. For his performance as the “Soup Nazi” Larry Thomas was nominated for an Emmy
“The Secret Code”
gs: Wayne Tippit [ Captain ], Lewis Arquette [ Leapin’ Larry ], Fred Stoller [ Fred Yerkes ], Ellen
Albertini Dow [ Momma ], David St. James [ Doctor ], Michael Luckerman [ Man ] rc: Susan,
George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once
met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn’t remember her, but he does remember other
party details. Leapin’ Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is
angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band
scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn’t want to go on a
date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry
escapes, but George isn’t as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma’s house,
where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last
word. George’s code is needed in a life or death situation.
b: 9 Nov 95 pc: 707 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
“The Pool Guy”
gs: Carlos Jacott [ Ramon ], Billy Williams [ Usher ], Alec Mapa [ Paul ], Dom Magwili [ Dustin ] rc:
Elaine has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit and realizes that she has no female friends,
Jerry suggests that she ask Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move and that George’s
worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie, then he can’t get rid of him. George
is worried by Elaine wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry’s idea. Kramer’s
new phone number is similar to a film information line. He keeps getting wrong numbers, so he
begins giving out the information.
b: 16 Nov 95 pc: 708 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This episode was dedicated as follows: In memory of our friend Rick Bolden.
gs: Jennifer Guthrie [ Lena ], Scott Patterson [ Billy ], John Paragon [ Cedric ], Yul Vazquez [ Bob
], David Byrd [ Roger ], Ileen Getz [ Organizer ], Steven Hack [ Walker #1 ], Wren T. Brown [
Walker #2 ], P.B. Hutton [ Walker #3 ], Susan Moore [ Monica ] rc: Susan
Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer’s AIDS walk sponsor list. After
finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine
must decided whether her current boyfriend is worthy. George tells Susan the secret of the size of
Jerry’s jeans and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry’s secrets
when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets a now he’s “out of
the loop.” Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a
disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won’t “wear the ribbon.”
b: 7 Dec 95 pc: 709 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Matt McCoy [ Lloyd ], Mary Jo Keenen [ Deena ], Eric Christmas [ Haarwood ], Sandy Ward [
Pop Lazzari ], Ruth Cohen [ Cashier ], Lionel Mark Smith [ Florist ], Vito D’Ambrosio [ Cop ], Alan
Watt [ Attendant ] Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping
an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who’s recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of
Chinese gum, that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him
and meets a former neighbor (who’s had a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his
former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her
blouse and reveals herself to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine’s lie, Jerry must wear glasses
while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge
of a breakdown. George’s car, once owned by “Jon Voight” in “The Mom & Pop Store”, catches
fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena
he’s not crazy.
b: 14 Dec 95 pc: 710 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Writer / executive producer Larry David makes an uncredited cameo as a guy who sells
George a pack of gum.
gs: Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ], Warren Frost [ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Jeff Yagher [ John ],
Frances Bay [ Mabel Choate ], Leonard Lightfoot [ Clyde ], Don Amendolia [ Dennis ], Kathryn
Kates [ Counter Woman ], Steve Ireland [ Music Guy ], Dean Fortunato [ Manager ] rc: Estelle,
Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who’s sponge-worthy but “he doesn’t really like to do
everything.” Jerry tells one of the members of his band that the saxophonist and Elaine are “hot
and heavy.” Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans of “Beef-A-Reeno.”. Susan’s
parents meet and have dinner with the Costanzas for the first time. Both families obsess over a
loaf of rye bread that wasn’t served with the meal, which Frank takes back home. Elaine’s
boyfriend writes a song about “their relationship,” which later has a big impact on his career.
Kramer takes over a friend’s horse-drawn carriage for a week and helps George out with his
scheme to replace the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of “Beef-A-Reeno” right
before giving the Ross’s their ride. Jerry manages to get his hands on a loaf of marble rye.
b: 4 Jan 96 pc: 711 w: Carol Leifer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: As stated in “The Cheever Letters” both Warren Frost and Grace Zabriskie appeared on
David Lynch and Mark Frost’s series Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member, Frances
Bay also appears in this episode. Coincidence? Viewer Randy Erickson doesn’t think so!
gs: Brenda Strong [ Sue Ellen ], Armin Shimerman [ Stan ], Arthur Rosenburg [ Judge ], Cynthia
Madvig [ Woman #1 ], Marilyn Tokuda [ Woman #2 ] rc: Frank, Estelle, Susan, Jackie Chiles,
Kramer befriends a caddy, who helps him to improve his golf game and offer his other advice.
George’s bosses consider him for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his work that
he is there in the morning before everyone else and still there after they all leave. They don’t
know that he’s just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting for his free visit from a
locksmith. Taking advantage of the situation, he and Susan go up north to her parent’s rebuilt
cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who’s heir to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune and has never
worn a bra. She wears the bra as a top and cause Kramer and Jerry to have an accident with
George’s car. With George’s damaged car in the parking lot, the Yankees think he’s dead.
Steinbrenner breaks the news to the Costanza’s. Kramer and Elaine take her rival to court and
only Jerry may stand in the way.
b: 25 Jan 96 pc: 712 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Ken Hudson Campbell [ Ken ], Shannon Holt [ Carrie ], Lisa Deanne [ Christie ], Charles
Emmett [ Orderly ], David Richards [ Maitre d’ ], Matthew McCurley [ Kid ], Josh Abramson [ Man
#1 ] rc: Newman, Susan
Elaine sees a girl’s bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from
the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day and
wants the bike. George is angry when Susan’s cousin chooses to name her baby with the name
he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another name.
Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry’s kitchen.
Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out.
b: 1 Feb 96 pc: 713 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Bryan Wagg noticed a blooper in this episode. When Newman is sitting on the
couch acting as an arbitrator he is wearing his wedding ring. In the next cut back to him, it has
“The Cadillac (1)”
gs: Walter Olkewicz [ Nick (Cable Guy) ], Annabelle Gurwitch [ Katy ], Bill Macy [ Herb ], Jesse
White [ Ralph ] rc: Helen, Morty, Susan, Klompus
Jerry surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when his last job really pays well.
Kramer who now knows about what Jerry makes says it will change their relationship. It certainly
changes his relationship with Elaine, she’s interested again. George reconsiders his engagement
when one of Elaine’s friends tells him that she could have set him up with Oscar winning actress,
Marisa Tomei. The cable company wants to see Kramer and he takes the opportunity to get
revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, even when Elaine’s friend is
in the hospital with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling funds to pay for
his new Cadillac.
b: 8 Feb 96 pc: 714 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
“The Cadillac (2)”
gs: Marisa Tomei [ Herself ], Walter Olkewicz [ Nick (Cable Guy) ], Ann Guilbert [ Evelyn ],
Frances Bay [ Mabel Choate ], Bill Macy [ Herb ], Jesse White [ Ralph ], Annie Korzen [ Doris
Klompus ], Daniel Zacapa [ Power Guy (John) ], Golde Starger [ Bldg “A” ], Janice Davis [ Bldg
“B” ], Art Frankle [ Bldg “C” ] rc: Helen, Morty, Susan, Klompus
Kramer continues to play with the cable guy. George’s obsession with Marisa makes Susan
suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in Florida and tells him she wants to come and join him. Elaine gets
George Marisa’s phone number and now he needs her for an alibi (which involves her “boyfriend”
Art Vandelay, an importer/ exporter). Morty’s ace in the hole, to keep him from impeachment, is
the woman Jerry stole the marble rye from, but she doesn’t remember him, at least at first. The
cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George’s meeting with Marisa doesn’t go as well
as planned and Susan thinks he he’s having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy concedes
b: 8 Feb 96 pc: 717 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
“The Shower Head”
gs: Jay Leno [ Himself ], Ron West [ Dr. Strugatz ], Tim deZarn [ Salesman ], Michelle Bonilla [
Waitress ], Angelo Di Mascio Jr. [ Man ] rc: Newman, Estelle, Frank, Helen, Morty, Uncle Leo,
Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show
positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry parent’s are in seclusion in New York while biding
time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida.
The shower heads in Jerry’s building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman
finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no
room for them in Florida, that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted.
Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction and finds a donor for her next physical. Jerry makes
a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for
making fun of the family.
b: 15 Feb 96 pc: 715 w: Peter Mehlman & Marjorie Gross d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: On 19 Feb 96 as part of the Late Show With David Letterman: Video Special II, Jerry and
Jason appear doing a scene about sandwiches. David Letterman interrupts their dialog and put
his two cents in, then Paul Shaffer arrives and takes Dave back to their show. After they leave
Jerry quips to Jason, “What the opposite of Must See TV?” He then points to where Dave and
Paul were standing.
gs: Mark Metcalf [ Maestro ], Kathy Griffin [ Sally Weaver ], Mary Jo Keenen [ Deena ], Monica
Allison [ Stewardess ], Larry Braman [ Stage Manager ], John Lizzi [ The Other Guy ] rc: Frank,
Susan’s old roommate from college, Sally Weaver, gives Jerry a package that she wants him to
be careful with; which he is, but he loses his own package in the process. Frank tells George he
is turning his room into a billiard room. Elaine tells Frank about a man she saw in Tuscany who
looks just like him, Frank thinks it may be the cousin who stayed behind. Kramer challenges him
to a game where the space is a bit tight. Jerry is enthusiastic about a new toothbrush, which he is
convinced Elaine must have. Susan has a doll that looks uncannily like George’s mother; she
doesn’t believe it, but he does and it affects his performance. Jerry is going to be on Charles
Grodin’s show with one of the Three Tenors, not Pavarotti or Domingo, but “the other guy.” Elaine
goes with him the studio, to replace an autographed picture of “the other guy,” for “the Maestro”
that was damaged while they were in Tuscany. “The Maestro” provides a new fashion for Kramer
and Frank while playing pool, and his baton is an answer to the space problem in the billiard
room. Susan’s roommate comes to town. She tries to help Jerry out by bringing him back a better
barbecue sauce and bringing a doll to the studio for Jerry, which in her opinion, is much funnier
than the one Jerry wanted. Jerry has no material for his appearance.
b: 22 Feb 96 pc: 716 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
“The Friars Club (a.k.a. The Gypsies)”
gs: Rob Schneider [ Bob ], Pat Cooper [ Himself ], Samantha Smith (II) [ Hallie ], Lisa Kushell [
Connie ], Robert Martin Robinson [ Maitre ‘d ], Norman Large [ Detective ], Peggy Lane [ Waitress
], The Flying Karamazov Brothers [ The Flying Sandos Brothers ] rc: Susan, Peterman, Jackie
George is happy because he has a three-month reprieve. The wedding is delayed until June (just
in time for the end of the May sweeps and a cliffhanger!). Meanwhile he is also excited because
Jerry is going to go out with Susan’s best friend. He envisions their friendship in the future as
being “Gatsby”-like. Jerry is trying to get into the Friars Club, but loses a jacket he “borrowed” for
dinner there, at a performance of comedic jugglers that was “worked on” by Susan’s friend.
Kramer tries to duplicate the sleeping patterns of Da Vinci and falls asleep at some inopportune
moments; one of which puts him put in the Hudson River. Peterman hires a deaf employee and
Elaine suffers the consequences, when she gets loaded with some of his work. Trying to see how
deaf he really is, Elaine comes on to him, which Peterman overhears and tries to help out their
b: 7 Mar 96 pc: 718 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
“The Wig Master”
gs: Patrick Bristow [ Wig Master (Ethan) ], Harry Van Gorkum [ Craig ], Gina Mastrogiacomo [
Prostitute ], Kim Chase [ Charmaine ], Chaim Jeraffi [ Jiffy Park Guy ], Michael James McDonald [
Jesse ], Pamela Dillman [ Salesperson ], Zack Phifer [ Bob ], Shashi Bhatia [ Flower Girl ],
Norman Brenner [ Ian ] rc: Susan
Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket.
Elaine is picked up by the clerk. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the
touring company of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” He also has found a
parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; Kramer decides to put his car there. Unfortunately,
he leaves his apartment key there. When he can’t get his key, he is allowed to borrow a pink
Cadillac. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. George discovers why the lot is so cheap,
he finds a used condom in his car and is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan
approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with Susan; she says she must be able
to trust him and have no doubts. Kramer stays at Jerry’s apartment. Elaine has a walking stick
she lets Kramer have. Jerry tries to return his jacket, but discovers that “spite” isn’t a viable
reason. Kramer is allowed to borrow the back up “Electric Color Dreamcoat.” Jerry is put out,
when both sexes assume he isn’t in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one
instance, the Wig Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With all the parts put
together, his new ensemble is a sight to behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a
prostitute out of his borrowed car.
b: 4 Apr 96 pc: 719 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Kramer’s mug shot number is NYPD 331781-0404.
gs: John D’Aquino [ Todd ], Peter Allas [ Counter Guy ], Danette Tays [ Nicki ], Greg Collins [
Policeman ], Jane A. Johnston [ Todd’s Mother ] rc: Newman
George becomes Steinbrenner’s pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is
raving about wearing clothes “straight out of the dryer.” Jerry thinks that Elaine’s boyfriend is
dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from
Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend’s ability to get anything she wants. Kramer
searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can’t find anymore, he starts using an oven. George
gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement
with Newman. That is unless of course it’s raining (Newman doesn’t deliver mail in the rain);
Kramer helps out.
b: 25 Apr 96 pc: 720 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
“The Bottle Deposit (1)”
gs: Brad Garrett [ Tony ], Brenda Strong [ Sue Ellen ], Patrick Kerr [ Clerk ], Harvey Jason [
Auctioneer ], Larry Polson [ Homeless Guy ] rc: Newman, Wilhelm, Peterman
George doesn’t hear the details on an important project that Wilhelm wants him to champion.
Peterman wants Elaine to bid on a set of golf clubs at the Kennedy auction, her ceiling is
$10,000; however, she gets into a bidding war with Sue Ellen, the Oh Henry! candy heiress.
Consequently, she spends a bit more than she was authorized. Newman finds the missing
ingredient to make it cost effective in Kramer’s scheme to collect used pop bottles and cans and
take them to Michigan where the refund is doubled. Jerry takes his car to a mechanic, who’s
fanatical about car care. Elaine meets Jerry to get the golf clubs out of his car, but the mechanic,
distraught over Jerry’s negligence, steals it. Kramer and Newman collect their bottles and cans
and hit the road in a mail truck.
b: 2 May 96 pc: 721 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
“The Bottle Deposit (2)”
gs: Brad Garrett [ Tony ], Mary Jo Keenen [ Deena ], Rance Howard [ Farmer ], Nicholas Mele [
Detective ], Karen Lynn Scott [ Farmer’s Daughter ], Sandy Ward [ Pop ], Dan O’Connor [ Young
Cop ], Bonnie McNeil [ Woman ] rc: Newman, Wilhelm, Peterman
Wilhelm is delighted with the job George did on the project; however, he has no idea what he did
or how he did it. The detective on the case thinks he’s found Jerry’s car, damaged beyond
recognition. It’s not, and later Jerry’s mechanic calls him from the car. Kramer spots Jerry’s car in
Ohio. Steinbrenner calls George into his office about the project report and has him committed.
Kramer ditches the cans, bottles, mailbags and Newman in pursuit of Jerry’s car. Newman finds a
farmer’s house, complete with the proverbial daughter. The mechanic throws the clubs and bag at
Kramer’s truck, allowing him to get away. Deena is happy to see that George is getting the help
he needs. Peterman is stunned when he finally gets the clubs, “Elaine, I never knew Kennedy
had such a temper.”
b: 2 May 96 pc: 722 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
“The Wait Out”
gs: Cary Elwes [ David ], Debra Messing [ Beth ], Allan Havey [ Policeman ], Diana Castle [ Mrs.
Zanfino ], Todd Bosley [ Joey ], J.C. Hertzler [ Mr. Berger ], Nicole Tocantins [ Barbara ] rc:
After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple with a rocky relationship, Jerry and
Elaine wait in anticipation of their inevitable separation. Elaine sports a new hairstyle, starts
driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are
much too tight, so tight in fact, that he can’t get them off when he really needs to. Elaine and Jerry
make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. George feels guilty about
breaking up the marriage and wishes to undo the damage. Jerry and Elaine physically oppose
this action. David returns the off-hand remark to George in the presence of Susan. She tells
George she has to think about some things- he thinks it is his ticket out.
b: 9 May 96 pc: 723 w: Peter Mehlman s: Peter Mehlman & Matt Selman d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Janeane Garofalo [ Jeannie Steinman ], Stephen Root [ Mr. Lager ], Victor Raider-Wexler [
Doctor ], John Riggi [ Teller ], Sue Goodman [ Clerk ], Julie Clark [ Waitress ], Fred Goehner [
Delivery Guy ] rc: Susan
As the big day grows nearer, George and Susan order their invitations. Susan lets him choose
the cheap ones. George tries to think of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking and Kramer
suggests a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry, thinking of a single future with Kramer, nearly gets hit by
a car but is saved by his female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry thinks he is in love with Jeannie.
Kramer tries to cash in on a bank’s offer of a $100 if one of their tellers doesn’t say hello. Is “Hey,”
hello? George tries the suggestions and strikes out. Susan begins preparing the invitations. Jerry
makes a decision. Susan passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage; later he
has second thoughts. George finds Susan and the gang meets him over at the hospital, where
George gets the news, he’s out. Free at last, George makes another attempt at Marisa Tomei.
b: 16 May 96 pc: 724 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: In an uncredited appearance writer / producer Carol Leifer appears as one of the bank
employees. The scenes shot with the real George Steinbrenner for this episode, were cut from
the final edit. It is reported that these scenes might be included in an episode, next season.
Steinbrenner reportedly missed opening day of the Yankees’ baseball season to make this
ALSO NOTE: “Is Seinfeld the Best Comedy Ever? A Case is Made” was the title of a TV Guide
cover story for the week of June 1st through the 7th. This link should take you to the on-line
version. In the article Jay McInerney, the author, makes his case for why he thinks it should be. I
for one, agree. He also lists out ten of the most significant episodes.
“The Bubble Boy”
“The Parking Garage”
“The Junior Mint”
“The Soup Nazi”
In another article, Jerry talks about next season, future seasons and the impact of Larry David’s
8th Season 1996
gs: Janeane Garofalo [ Jeannie Steinman ], Bruce Davison [ Wyck ], Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross
], Warren Frost [ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Joe Urla [ Dugan ], Susan Walters [ Dolores “Mulva” ], Todd
Bosley [ Joey ], Diana Castle [ Mrs. Zanfino ], Stuart Quan [ Sensei ], Herb Mitchell [
Businessman #1 ], Robert Louis Kempf [ Businessman #2 ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Larry ],
Lauren Bowles [ Waitress #1 ], Peggy Lane [ Waitress #2 ], Paige Tamada [ Clara ], Robert
Padnick [ Willie ], Ruth Cohen [ Ruthie ] rc: Peterman
Months after her death, George is ready to move on, but Susan’s parents want to keep her
memory alive. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill
level, but are lacking in size. Jerry runs into Dolores, you remember “her name rhymed with a
female body part” in “The Junior Mint”, she suggests that they get together again. Peterman has
a breakdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge; a position she is reluctant to assume.
Kramer makes a speech that inspires Elaine to go and take charge of J. Peterman. Inspired by a
comment that Jerry made, a foundation is established in Susan’s name, which will take up all of
George’s free time. Jerry and Dolores do get together; however, when she hears why Jerry’s
engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn’t matured. Elaine sees
Kramer’s opponents, vents her frustration and takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides
to research breakups and the effect on future relationships. Kramer’s classmates meet him after
class. George discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan.
b: 19 Sep 96 pc: 801 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This episode was dedicated “In Memory of Our Friend Marjorie Gross.” Marjorie died from
ovarian cancer earlier this year at the age of 40, in previous seasons, Marjorie was one of show’s
producers and writers. She was responsible for “The Secretary”, “The Fusilli Jerry”, “The
Understudy” and “The Shower Head.” During her battle early in 1996 she wrote an article titled
“Cancer Becomes Me” for The New Yorker magazine on what it is like to be dying from the
disease. Thanks to Jerry Balsam, Vince Gargiulo and Kenny Kramer for the information on
Marjorie’s article. Marjorie also wrote some episodes of the early 1980’s comedy Square Pegs.
Viewer Mike Hamilin notes that Kramer gets beat up by the kids in much the same way (and
perhaps the same set) as he did with the AIDS’ walkers in “The Sponge”.
“The Soul Mate”
gs: Bruce Davison [ Wyck ], Tim DeKay [ Kevin ], Lisa Mende [ Carol ], Kim Myers [ Pam ], Rende
Rae Norman [ Ms. Baines ], Tommy Hicks [ Mr. Cross ], Jill Talley [ Gail ], Jill Holden [ Lisa ] rc:
George thinks the foundation lawyer thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a
method employed by Jerry Lewis to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry’s girlfriend and he consults
Newman for advice. Elaine’s friends insist that she have a baby, she’d rather not and meets a
man who shares her ideals. George leaves a running tape recorder in his brief case at the next
board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape
stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer’s relationship with Pam; he bribes Jerry
in hopes to find out more about his obsession, Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a
vasectomy to show her how committed he is to not having children. The guys find out Pam isn’t
interested in having children and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the
bottom of what happened to his briefcase.
b: 26 Sep 96 pc: 802 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This episode was dedicated “In Memory of Our Friend Victor Wayne Harris.” Vince
Gargiulo tells me that Victor was the assistant prop master for the series and he died in August
following a stroke.
“The Bizarro Jerry”
gs: Tim DeKay [ Kevin ], Kristin Bauer [ Gillian ], Pat Kilbane [ Bizarro Kramer (Feldman) ], Kyle T.
Hefner [ Bizarro George (Gene) ], Justina Vail [ Amanda ], J. Patrick McCormack [ Leland ], Harry
Murphy [ Office Manager ], Dana Patrick [ Model #1 ], Shireen Crutchfield [ Model #2 ], Robin
Nance [ Model #3 ], Mark S. Larson [ Bizarro Newman (Vargas) ], James Lesure [ Office Worker
], Jason Beck [ Bouncer ] Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and just begins working
there. He is “TCB.” Elaine sets Jerry up with a friend who is very beautiful, but she has “man
hands.” George uses a picture of her and passes her off as his dead finance Susan; that gets him
into the “Forbidden City” where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and some of his
friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. With Kramer working, George
inside the walls and Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone.
b: 3 Oct 96 pc: 803 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewers Taylor Lasseigne and Michael Haemlin note in this episode that Kramer is seen
working in this episode to the music of Sheena Easton’s hit “My Baby Takes the Morning Train”
was also used in “The Voice”. Mike also notes that George uses “Vandelay” in this episode in his
trick to show the picture of his deceased “fiance” to the beautiful receptionist.
“The Little Kicks”
gs: Neil Giuntoli [ Brody ], Rebecca McFarland [ Anna ], Joseph Urla [ Dugan ], Tim O’Hare [
Vendor ] rc: Frank
Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. “Sweet fancy Moses”
exclaims George when he sees Elaine dance at a party she’s holding for her employees. She
wonders why they’ve lost respect for her. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film. Kramer asks
him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine thinks the loss of respect might be due to
George’s influence, so she makes him off limits to Anna, one of the women George talked to at
the party. That “bad boy” image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the
film with Brody, who begins to make a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him
home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Jerry worries about the implications when Brody
likes him camera work and asks him to do another film. However, he complains about the quality
of Kramer’s work. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine
apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. Brody won’t meet
Jerry’s demands for equipment; George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes
to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine’s dance becomes a big hit
on the streets of New York.
b: 10 Oct 96 pc: 804 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: It was reported in Allure magazine that the dance moves Elaine made were completely
Lorne Michaels (noted Saturday+Night+Live producer) own moves.
gs: Richard Roat [ Dr. Berg ], Fort Atkinson [ Dr. Stern ], David Purdham [ Dr. Resnick ], Heather
Campbell [ Sheila ], Ramon Franco [ Mailman ], Bari K. Willerford [ Ron ], Shuko Akune [
Receptionist ], F. William Parker [ Country Doctor ], Lynn A. Henderson [ Clerk ], Bill Gratton [
Postal Official ], Susan Leslie [ Nurse ] rc: Newman, Uncle Leo
Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor — patient
relationship reputation. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two
years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures.
Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store
clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to
return the compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry’s package. Elaine
tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound of
an explosion. Leo’s stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It
contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is
collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo’s nurse to try a
diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn’t work she tries to get Kramer to lift her records.
Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and
gets a surprising result.
b: 17 Oct 96 pc: 805 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Joseph Urla [ Dugan ], Ned Bellamy [ Eddie ], A.J. Langer [ Abby ], Katie Layman [ Cynthia ],
Eddie Allen [ Doctor ], Gwen McGee [ Janine ], Lynn Manning [ Blind Man ] rc: Estelle, Frank,
Jerry is intrigued by the concept of his girlfriend having a mentor. George prepares to give a
lecture on risk management by reading a book, but realizes that book on tape have spoiled him.
Elaine prepares to fire an employee, but when face to face with him, she promotes him. Kramer
runs a Jewish singles night at Frank’s Knights of Columbus hall. Jerry meets his girlfriend’s
mentor, but she is dating Kenny Bania. George discovers the blind can get any book on tape, so
he plans to fail an eye test. Elaine’s recently promoted employee has some startling new ideas.
She plans to promote him again. Kramer’s party plans go awry when he has to cook for over 150
plus people. He needs to get Frank’s advice on cooking for the masses, despite George’s
warning. Elaine’s promotional plan backfires, when the rest of her staff quits. Jerry’s girlfriend
sees Bania’s act and loses respect for her mentor. Elaine tries working with her employee.
George figures out an angle to get his book read. Jerry finds himself becoming Bania’s mentor.
Jerry and his now ex-girlfriend get their files mixed up; George speaks on Ovaltine and Bania on
risk management. Frank’s cooking skills are reborn, until he sees someone choking.
b: 31 Oct 96 pc: 806 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy Ackerman
gs: James Patrick Stuart [ Brett ], Gedde Watanabe [ Mr. Oh ], Sab Shimono [ Executive #1 ],
John Bowman [ Teddy ], Jock Plotnick [ Crew Leader ], George Wallace [ Doctor ], Toshi Toda [
Mr. Tanaka ], Goh Misawa [ Mr. Yamaguchi ], Tony V. [ Clicky ], Akane Nelson [ Executive #2 ],
Cherie Hankal [ Nurse ] rc: Wilhelm
Elaine’s new boyfriend, Brett, is obsessed with designer furniture and the song “Desperado.”
Jerry spots an umbrella salesman using the sales technique he invented. The salesman says it
was someone else. Hundreds of twelve cent royalty checks keep arriving from Jerry’s brief
appearance on a Japanese television. Kramer warns George that the carpet cleaners he hired
are actually a front for a religious cult. Intrigued, George tries to be converted, but they’re not
interested. Kramer meets some Japanese businessman and he takes them on the town and to
the cleaners. He is a little confused about the exchange rate. Brett delivers a large chest of
drawers to Kramer and thinks that Jerry might be jealous. Kramer thinks the TV pilot that Jerry
and George did would be perfect for Japanese television. They pitch it to a couple of Japanese
TV executives. Elaine tries to find a song that she and Brett can share. Kramer puts his Japanese
friends up at his place. They’re sleeping in the chest of drawers. Jerry caught in the rain meets
the man in the street who claims credit for the twirl. He also meets Brett who is convinced Jerry is
down on his luck. George gets the cleaners to do the offices at Yankee Stadium where they find a
new recruit. Because of the humidity from the hot tub, Kramer’s guests get stuck in the chest.
Jerry, with writers cramp from check signing, uses a fire ax to open the chest. That scares the
Japanese guests and injures Brett who passes out.
b: 7 Nov 96 pc: 807 w: Steve O’Donnell and Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman
“The Chicken Roaster”
gs: Mark Roberts [ Seth ], Kymberly Kalil [ Heather ], Michael D. Roberts [ Ipswich ], Wesley
Leong [ Clerk ], Christopher Aguilar [ Burmese Boy ] rc: Newman, Peterman
Kenny Rogers Roasters opens in the neighborhood and the large neon chicken sign beams right
into Kramer’s apartment window. Jerry meets an old college buddy who he talks into missing a
meeting that it turns out was important enough to get him fired. Elaine makes liberal use of the
Peterman expense account. Including a big hat for George, that he tries leaving at the
saleswoman’s apartment in an attempt to get a second date with her. Elaine tries to justify her
expenses to the accounting department and needs the hat. Jerry’s college friend becomes
“manager” of the chicken place. Kramer and Jerry switch apartments; however, more than just
the apartment gets switched. Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny’s chicken. Elaine brings
George to the saleswoman’s apartment, dragging George by the ear, in an attempt to retrieve the
hat. Jerry’s “friend” Bob sells fake Russian hats, but it doesn’t help Elaine. Jerry demands his
apartment back when he finds out Kramer is hooked. Elaine goes to Burma in search of
Peterman to get her expenses authorized. George keeps scheming to get that second date. The
fake Russian hat has an impact on the chicken business.
b: 14 Nov 96 pc: 808 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Debra Jo Rupp [ Katie ], Brenda Strong [ Sue Ellen ], Bob Odenkirk [ Ben ], Meagen Fay [
Mrs. Burns ], Tamara Bick [ Louise ], Alex Trebek [ Voice of Himself ], Derek Jeter [ Himself ],
Bernie Williams [ Himself ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Larry the Cook ], Fern Fitzgerald [ Ms. Wilkie
], Noelle Balfour [ Waitress ], Kyle Gass [ Smoker ], Judy Kerr [ Woman ], David Letterman [
Himself (uncredited) ] rc: Jackie Chiles
George’s girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can’t have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine’s met
a doctor who’s almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his
former junior high school, first he is bumped and then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar
in Monk’s and is asked to leave. He meets others on the street who face his dilemma so he
opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry’s agent gets him an assembly at the school.
George’s lack of sex makes his mind sharper. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend
doesn’t know about medicine. She uses George’s technique to help him study to get his license,
but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front
of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks
Portuguese and prepares a presentation for Jerry’s assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a
case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement
without Jackie’s input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine’s
boyfriend gets his license and leaves her sexless.
b: 21 Nov 96 pc: 809 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
“The Andrea Doria”
gs: Tom Gallop [ Alan ], Ray Stricklyn [ Clarence ], Diana Bellamy [ Mrs. Ricardi ], Rick Hall [ Vet
], Carl Banks [ Policeman #1 ], Barry Cutler [ Policeman #2 ], Kev O’Neil [ Waiter ], Ossie Mair [
Driver ], Fred Pinkard [ Old Man ], Rene Weisser [ Ex-Girlfriend ], Brian Blondell [ Dog Guy ],
Theresa Mulligan [ Woman ], Florinel Fatulescu [ Stand Owner ] rc: Newman, Estelle, Frank
George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date,
now called a “set-up.” Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman
has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can’t get his apartment because the tenant
association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won’t be making
it because he’s been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Kramer’s cold is getting bad and
he’s not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he’s more potent now than ever. Jerry
tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he’s not interested because he didn’t get the
transfer to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can
get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from
another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a “bad breaker upper.” George
confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine’s blind date breaks up with
her and tells she has “a big head.” From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with
the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms “an alliance” with Newman that will
hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication. He
discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog.
The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming
“a fork in his forehead.” Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman’s
ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient for the post office. Elaine meets
up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George and the
survivor don’t get the apartment.
b: 19 Dec 96 pc: 810 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
“The Little Jerry”
gs: John Michael Higgins [ Kurt ], Miguel Sandoval [ Marcelino ], Andrea Bendewald [ Celia ],
Kathryn Joosten [ Betsy ], Paul Perri [ Detective Banner ], Al White [ Detective Udewitz ], Ray
Proscia [ Guard ] rc: Morty, Helen
Everyone makes a comment about a bad check of Jerry’s that is on display at Marcelino’s store.
Through the Foundation, George gets the opportunity to visit a women’s prison. He is
disappointed when the facility doesn’t meet his impression of what he thinks a women’s prison is.
He does however meet a convict that he decides to ask out. He enjoys the liberation that dating a
convict offers. Kramer gets a new pet, a rooster that he names “Little Jerry Seinfeld”; of course he
really wanted a hen for the eggs. Jerry’s parents find out about the check and offer to send
money. Elaine finds out her bald boyfriend once had a fine head of hair. She convinces him to
start growing it back, but when he does he shows signs of hair-loss. He begins to feel
despondent. George’s dream relationship hangs on the brink, Celia’s up for parole. Kramer enters
“Little Jerry” in a cockfight that if he wins, Jerry’s bad check will be taken down. George is a
character witness for Celia’s parole hearing; he testifies to try keeping her in. Jerry’s bad check
doesn’t come down, because Marcelino wants Jerry to do something for him first. Kurt seeks hair-
loss advice from George that causes him to propose to Elaine. Jerry and Kramer train “Little
Jerry” for the big cockfight. George experiences “fugitive sex” when Celia breaks out after her
parole was denied. Celia is tracked down and Kurt is mistaken for George. Marcelino brings a
ringer in for the big fight; Kramer tries to save “Little Jerry” but pays the price.
b: 9 Jan 97 pc: 811 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Ben Nuckols offers this wild theory about this episode:
Here’s a wild theory. I think there might have been a TV industry “inside joke” in “The Little Jerry,”
which was on in syndication this week. I knew I recognized the name of John Michael Higgins,
who plays Kurt, from somewhere, and I finally figured it out. He played David Letterman in the
HBO movie “The Late Shift.” I checked the Internet Movie Database to be sure. Of course, he
looks completely different with his head shaved. Here’s the connection: when “The Late Shift”
came out, the real David Letterman complained that the actor playing him had red hair. Higgins
was scheduled to be a guest on Letterman’s show, but he was bumped, some say due to
Letterman’s distaste for his portrayal in the picture. Now, do you suppose it’s a coincidence that
Higgins was cast as a character whose hair was a central issue? Elaine glamorizes the hair color
by describing it as “chestnut with auburn highlights.” Do you think Seinfeld was taking a
lighthearted stab at his buddy Letterman?
Offer any comments to Ben at this email address (for as long as it remains valid):
gs: Sarah Silverman [ Emily ], Leon W. Grant [ Counterperson ] rc: Helen, Morty, Frank, Estelle,
Jerry’s parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order to give Jerry some money to
help him out. They along with Kramer suggest that Jerry might try a career move. Elaine talks
about her Peterman stock options and buys George’s coffee. He thinks she is sticking it to him.
Jerry and George talk about the money their parents might have. This piques George’s interest.
Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend’s post-sex bed habits. Jerry flies to Florida to
buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his family’s health history. Kramer works out
a deal with his girlfriend. Jerry meets with Klompus and agrees to pay $14,000 for it. George
anticipating a big inheritance begins to spend money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents.
Klompus has a problem with the car and Jerry returns to Florida. Jerry’s parents are still worried
about him and wonder what to do. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly agrees
to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer, fearing a prowler (Jerry’s dad), decides he
can no longer sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she can. So he moves in with
the Costanzas, who tell George that they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular
position at Peterman, with no options. George and Elaine try to discuss their respective problems.
Still in Florida, strapped for cash and credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. Kramer and Emily spend
the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas’ house. The Seinfelds make a change in their
housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place.
b: 16 Jan 97 pc: 813 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Dan Wyszomierski noticed an interesting sidelight to this episode. “With all of
Jerry Seinfeld’s real-life ad work for American Express (the card with ‘no preset spending limit’), I
found it ironic that he made the excuse of ‘maxing-out’ his credit cards when he was telling
everyone why he had to sleep in the Cadillac.”
Another viewer notes that Frank says the he and Estelle have slept in separate beds for thirty
years because of her Jimmy arms. However, in a previous episode, George claimed to have sex
in his parent’s bed. Did he push them together? How comfortable would that be?
gs: Mark Harelik [ Milos ], Ben Stein [ Shellbach ], Joel Polis [ Reilly ], Ivana Milavich [ Patty ],
Danny Strong [ Vincent ], Richard Livingston [ Bill ], Charles Kahlenberg [ Fred ], Stan Sellers [
McAdam ], Peggy Mannix [ Woman ], Fatima Love [ Secretary ], Nancy Linehan Charles [ Woman
Executive ], Jeff Hatz [ Manager (Gene) ] George has trouble thinking of a comeback to a
comment made by Reilly; he does think of one, but it’s a little to late. Jerry buys a new tennis
racket from a supposed professional. Elaine and Kramer discuss video picks. Elaine prefers picks
by Vincent. He prefers picks by Gene or his own. He watches his latest pick and it makes him
concerned about spending the rest of his life in a coma. Elaine is intrigued when she receives a
phone call from the mysterious Vincent. Jerry discovers that the tennis pro is a hack player.
George comes up with what he thinks is the perfect line and will listen to no one else’s opinion.
Kramer makes a living will, with Elaine as the executor. The tennis pro, fearing he will be
exposed, tries to bribe Jerry, including a rendezvous with his wife. Elaine opts for another movie
and makes Vincent angry. George finds out that Reilly doesn’t work for the Yankees anymore, so
he tracks him down to Ohio, where he plans to deliver his line. Kramer finishes the movie he
rented and discovers it is possible to recover from a coma, he decides to change his will. Milos’
wife has no respect for him; he asks Jerry to let him beat him in tennis. Elaine receives a phone
call from Vincent and she convinces him to let her meet him. She is surprised by his appearance.
Kramer goes into a coma after being hit with tennis balls. Meanwhile, in Akron, George delivers
his line about “the jerk store.”
b: 30 Jan 97 pc: 812 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: David Owen Trainor
NOTE: Viewer Jeffrey Abucay notes that Kramer should have known that you can come out of a
coma, after all he witnessed the event occurring in “The Suicide”. Viewer Mark Byerly notes that
in an installment of Ben Stein’s diary in The American Spectator, Stein reveals that in the original
script for this episode he was to play a role closer to Reilly, that is, as George’s adversary at the
office. However, someone decided that Reilly should be a younger, edgier character, so the
character was rewritten. Since Stein had been promised a part already, the part of Shellbach was
offered to him instead.
“The Van Buren Boys”
gs: Bruce Davison [ Wyck ], Christine Taylor [ Ellen ], Jed Rhein [ Steven Koren ], Tony Colitti [
Leader ], David Moscow [ Lomez Jr. ], Yunoka Doyle [ Lydia ], Dublin James [ Maurice ], Justine
Slater [ Melissa ], Michelle Maika [ Kim ], Steve Hofvendahl [ Man ] rc: Morty, Helen, Peterman
Jerry’s girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem
with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation’s first scholarship. The candidates
seem over-qualified, until one comes in who is a lot like he was. Elaine is going to ghost write
Peterman’s biography. Kramer goes to Lorenzo’s pizza, where he has an encounter with the Van
Buren boys. He accidentally flashes their gang sign and saves himself. Peterman wants his day
to day life covered in his bio; the exotic adventures are for the catalog. His day-to-day life is very
boring. She tells him about Kramer’s encounter with the gang and he suggests buying the story
for his biography. George’s scholar makes a change in his plans that causes George to disqualify
him from the scholarship. Kramer sells Peterman all of his stories for $750 dollars. Elaine is put at
his disposal. To Elaine, Kramer’s stories aren’t much more interesting. George and Kramer
perform an intervention on Jerry’s relationship with Ellen. George’s scholar joins the Van Buren
boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine tells Kramer that he can
no longer tell his stories, since they now belong to Peterman. Elaine tries to embellish Kramer’s
stories, but Peterman finds the rewrites “too clichÈd and obvious.” She tells him the real Kramer
story that he finds much more interesting. He tells Kramer he can have his stories back. George
tries to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his parents in to get their impression of
Ellen. He begins to see the light.
b: 6 Feb 97 pc: 814 w: Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The character name of Steven Koren is taken from the name of Steve Koren who’s on the
gs: Lee Arenberg [ Mike Moffit ], Shannon Kenny [ Allison ], Megan Cole [ Peggy ], Jane Edith
Wilson [ Woman ] rc: Peterman, Wilhelm
Kramer decides that daylight saving time isn’t coming fast enough, so he sets his watch ahead an
hour. Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as “a phony,” has become a bookie. Peggy, a co-
worker of Elaine’s calls her “Susie.” George is excited about Steinbrenner’s ball. He hopes to
show off his tall blonde girlfriend with a grand entrance. Instead, she says she wants to talk. He
runs away. “If she can’t find me, she can’t break up with me.” He really wants to make that big
entrance at the ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike $100 for a bet he made on that night’s
Knicks game. Only Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. In fact, Kramer attends the
game and gets into a fight with a key player that causes Jerry to win his bet. Peggy starts talking
to “Susie” about Elaine’s memo. Peterman hearing about the complaints demands to see Elaine,
Peggy and “Susie” in his office; first thing in the morning. Mike can’t pay Jerry, so he offers to
help him with his trunk problem, but instead gets his thumbs broken for the trouble. Kramer
breaks up with George on behalf of Allison. Elaine makes it through the morning meeting. Mike
gets trapped in Jerry’s trunk. Elaine and Jerry, in his car, decide it would be best to eliminate
“Susie.” George reconciles with Kramer. Elaine delivers the eulogy at “Susie’s” wake, much to the
confusion of Peggy. Kramer, with George, makes a spectacular entrance at the ball. Mike
escapes from Jerry’s trunk and accuses him of murder. The same fate befalls Elaine that befell
George; Peterman puts her in charge of a foundation in “Susie’s” honor.
b: 13 Feb 97 pc: 815 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Kristin Davis [ Jenna ], Jack McGee [ Ralph ], George Kee Cheung [ Owner ], Seraiah Carol [
Mrs. Allister ], Radmar Agana Jao [ Delivery Boy ], Walter Addison [ Man ] rc: Newman
Jerry’s girlfriend uses a toothbrush that he had just pulled out of the toilet. George shows of the
new key ring that Steinbrenner has given everyone in the organization, celebrating Phil Rizzuto’s
induction in the hall of fame. Kramer complains about the failing highway infrastructure, so he
adopts a one-mile piece of a highway. Elaine tries to order a new Chinese dish, but she lives out
of bounds. George loses his keys. Jerry plans to secretly sterilize his girlfriend’s mouth. Despite
his attempts, he just can’t get past the vision of the toothbrush in the toilet. George theorizes that
he may have lost his keys when he did a broad jump over a pothole. Kramer works diligently to
keep his part of the road clean. Elaine schemes to get her Chinese food by moving into a janitor’s
closet, located in the building across the street. A woman who lives in the building begins to
complain to her about the cleaning up the building needs. Jenna finds out about the toothbrush
and sticks something of Jerry’s in his toilet; only he doesn’t know what. Kramer’s plan to improve
his mile of road doesn’t go as well as he had hoped. Elaine has the gang over for dinner in the
janitor closet she’s moved into temporarily. George works to clear the pothole. Jerry breaks it off
officially when Jenna’s toilet problem becomes to much to bear. Elaine brings the garbage to the
dump in Jerry’s car. Kramer spills the paint thinner on the highway. Sparks hit the spill and
Newman is at the heart of the resulting fireball.
b: 20 Feb 97 pc: 816 w: Steve O’Donnell (I) and Dan O’Keefe d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: According to an appearance by Jerry on the The Tonight Show, this is the 150th episode
of Seinfeld. To make this appear as the 150th episode, I’ve now split “Highlights of a Hundred”
into two parts, no longer call it a special and have integrated it into the guide.
“The English Patient”
gs: Lloyd Bridges [ Izzy ], Chelsea Noble [ Danielle ], O’Neal Compton [ Earl Haffler ], Lisa Mende
[ Carol ], Gene Dynarski [ Izzy Jr. ], Marco Rodriguez [ Guillermo ], Joseph Urla [ Dugan ], Jill
Talley [ Gail ], Jill Holden [ Lisa ], Todd Jeffries [ Blaine ], Earl Schuman [ Izzy Sr. ], Edgar Small [
Sid Luckman ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ], Juan Garcia [ Jaime ], Jeff Miller [ Neil ] rc: Helen,
A woman mistakes George for her boyfriend Neil, a guy who looks just like him. This intrigues
George; he wants to meet Neil. Jerry is going to Florida to help his parents move. Kramer asks
him to pick up some Cubans from his cigar guy and also gives him a T-shirt. Elaine and her
boyfriend see “The English Patient”; she absolutely hates it and that makes her unpopular and
dumped. Jerry’s dad gets the T-shirt, #1 Dad, that he is very proud to wear, despite its small size.
At his parents’ exercise room, Jerry meets Izzy, an 80-year-old man who can’t stand to lose; he
challenges Jerry to a weightlifting competition; “It’s go time!” He throws his back out again and
again. Kramer’s Cubans arrive; they’re real people and not the cigars that Jerry thought he would
be getting. George is overly obsessed with Neil, to the point where he is missing out on Danielle.
Jerry is back in New York, where Izzy has returned to see a back specialist. Though Kramer’s
Cubans are really Dominicans he tries to pass them off as “Cubans” anyway; it doesn’t work.
Elaine’s dislike for the film alienates her from everyone. When she tells Peterman that she hasn’t
seen the film, he immediately takes steps to correct the situation. Jerry meets the rest of Izzy’s
family all of who are fiercely competitive. He finds work for Kramer’s “Cubans.” Elaine still hates
the movie, but must go to the Tunisian desert to live in a cave to save her job. Kramer thinks his
unemployed Dominicans, whom he educated about communism, are planning to revolt; later they
do. George gets a last word on Neil when Danielle makes a decision between the two of them.
b: 13 Mar 97 pc: 817 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Richard McCormick notes that there is blooper in this episode, when the audience
behind Peterman and Elaine changes around.
gs: Stephen Lee [ Conrad ], Vince Grant [ Hal ], Angelo Tiffe [ Delivery Man ], Jonell Kennedy [
Secretary ], Mik Scriba [ Bomb Squad Guy ], Terry Rhoads [ Father ], Sid Newman [ Old Man ],
Kevin Keckeisen [ Brian ], Kyle Sullivan [ Son ] rc: Wilhelm
George is tired and needs to take a nap while at work; he finds the perfect place, under his desk.
Kramer has taken up swimming, but he finds the pool too constricting for his needs; he begins
swimming in the East River. Elaine’s date is worried about his back and hers; he sends her a
mattress and she gets the wrong idea. She gives the mattress to Kramer. Jerry is getting new
kitchen cabinets, but the contractor is constantly asking him questions. George gets Jerry’s
contractor to make some modifications for his desk, including space for an alarm clock.
Steinbrenner is in George’s office looking for him; he decides to wait for George to return. George
gets Jerry to phone in a bomb threat in an effort to get Steinbrenner out of his office. After finding
George under the desk, Steinbrenner thinks he has ESP and would be perfect to meet the
terrorist’s demand of a fitted hat day. Meanwhile, Jerry’s contractor, left on his own, has made a
change in Jerry’s kitchen that no one likes. Elaine gets her mattress back when she gets the right
idea; however, Kramer has fouled it up with the stench of the East River. Elaine’s boyfriend
discovers the benefits of swimming in the East River. Steinbrenner hears a ticking sound in
George’s office, thinks it’s a bomb and calls in the bomb squad. Jerry decides he needs his old
kitchen back. Elaine throws her back out trying to get rid of the mattress. Kramer’s river gets
crowded and George finds a new place to nap.
b: 10 Apr 97 pc: 818 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy Ackerman
“The Yada Yada”
gs: Robert Wagner [ Dr. Abbott ], Jill St. John [ Mrs. Abbott ], Debra Messing [ Beth ], Suzanne
Cryer [ Marcy ], Stephen Caffrey [ Arnie ], Henry Woronicz [ Father Curtis ], Monica Lacey [ Julie
], Ali Marsh [ Karen ], David Chandler [ Brian ], Virginia Watson [ Nun ], Walter Franks [ Waiter ],
Jerry Maren [ Dad ] rc: Mickey, Whatley
George’s girlfriend is big on using the phrase “yada yada”; Jerry says at least she is succinct.
Jerry’s dentist just became Jewish and he is already making jokes that make Jerry
uncomfortable. Kramer and Mickey double date but they can’t decide which of the women is right
for them. Elaine is a character reference for a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells
during the interview destroys all hope of adoption. George drops by Jerry’s dental appointment.
Mickey and Kramer continue to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines that his
girlfriend might be leaving out some significant details with her overuse of the phrase “yada
yada.” He gets her to fill in the details and discovers more than he wants to know. Jerry
confesses to a priest about what he thinks about Tim’s conversion. George drops by Jerry’s
confession. Kramer decides on the right woman and Mickey also decides to make his a
commitment. Tim hears about Jerry’s dental joke. After hearing Jerry’s complaints about Tim,
Kramer accuses Jerry of being an “anti-dentite.” Elaine lobbies on behalf of Beth and Arnie and
makes a sacrifice to try getting them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for help when her
marriage is falling apart. It does and she accompanies Jerry to Mickey’s wedding where she
reveals an unknown side of her personality.
b: 24 Apr 97 pc: 819 w: Peter Mehlman and Jill Franklyn d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Lauren Graham [ Valerie ], Louan Gideon [ Mrs. Hamilton ], Victoria Mahoney [ Gladys ],
Michael Laskin [ Minkler ], Bruce Jarchow [ Mooney ], Maria Cina [ Saleswoman ], Steve Koren [
Himself ] rc: Newman, Wilhelm
Elaine gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping at another similar store. Jerry
notices that he is on his girlfriend’s speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium New Year’s Eve
party two years in advance and he has some strange ideas about what life in that year will be like.
George is “offered” a position as director of scouting by the Mets. To get the position he must be
fired by the Yankees. Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry obsesses about his
position on the speed dial and then he makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is
planning his own millennium party. George tries to make a big exit from the Yankees
organization; however, all his attempts make him look better in the organization. The step-mother
of Jerry’s girlfriend’s confronts him over his #1 position on the speed dial. Newman compromises
with Kramer about their respective parties, they will be combined; however, he only has one
condition, the next century must be “Jerry free.” Elaine discovers the clothing store she began
frequenting is owned by the same woman who didn’t help her at the other store. Kramer
reluctantly agrees but then has misgivings and gets Elaine to come back to his party. Elaine plans
her revenge on the store with Kramer’s help. Jerry gets caught in the middle of a speed dial war
between his girlfriend and step-mother.
b: 1 May 97 pc: 820 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Bentley Roberts notes that Jerry incorrectly states that Kramer and Newman’s
party will be one year to late, when he should have said it would be one year to early.
Viewer John Thorpe, says that Jerry was correct about his statement. “Newman said he booked
his party for the Millenium, which is January 1, 2001, but he really wanted to have his party one
year earlier, on 1/1/2000, which is when everyone else on the planet (pretty much) will have
Millenium parties. So technically, Newman’s party is one year later than the other parties being
celebrated, which will make his party, as Jerry said, “lame”. Therefore Jerry’s statement is
I on the other hand, probably like most people, am confused about the whole thing. Regardless of
what is correct, I am sure the marketing and media weasels out there will decide when we start
the next millenium.
“The Muffin Tops”
gs: Rena Sofer [ Mary Anne ], Melinda Clarke [ Alex ], Chaim Jeraffi [ Jiffy Dump Guy ], Sonya
Eddy [ Rebecca ], Barry Kramer [ Bag Guy ], Elayn Taylor [ Book Fan ], Paige Moss [ Girl ], Viola
Kates Simpson [ Old Woman ], Jack Riley [ Rider ], Bunny Summers [ Rider ], Earl Carroll [ Rider
], Norman Brenner [ Rider ], Reuven Bar [ Foreign Guy ], Vince Donvito [ Passerby ], Chris
Burmester [ Passerby ], Deck McKenzie [ Man ], Victoria Fischer [ Bartender ], Keith Sellon-
Wright [ Guy ] rc: Newman, Peterman, Lippman
George watches a bag for a tourist who never comes back, so he starts wearing some of the
clothes. Elaine tells Kramer that the stories he sold to Peterman were put into the book. Kramer
goes to the book signing, claiming he is the real “Peterman.” George becomes a tourist from
Arkansas when he meets a beautiful woman from the tourist bureau on the street. Jerry shaves
his chest and worries about it until he discovers his girlfriend likes hairless dogs. Elaine eats only
the tops of muffins and she says that it is a million dollar idea, Mr. Lippman, her former boss,
decides to start a business. Kramer starts conducting “Peterman Reality Tours” for $37.50 a
piece. When the muffin top business doesn’t seem to be working, Lippman asks Elaine for
advice. She tells him that he must make the whole muffin and remove the top from the stump,
she also demands that he remove the exclamation point from his sign. The stumps can be given
to the homeless. Only they don’t want them. In fact nobody wants them. Jerry continues to shave
his chest despite Kramer’s warning about hair growth. George “moves” to New York and takes a
job with the Yankees. Steinbrenner is led to believe that George is holding down two jobs and
makes a deal to trade George for chicken. Elaine convinces Kramer to get rid of her stumps and
he convinces Jerry and his girlfriend to take his tour. Jerry’s chest begins itching from hair growth.
Elaine hires “a cleaner” to make the muffin stump problem go away.
b: 8 May 97 pc: 821 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Right or wrong, NBC advertised this as being the 150th episode of Seinfeld. Well we all
have decided that was wrong, they appear to be counting the two part episodes as one. Jerry
himself, on The Tonight Show when he mentioned that “The Pothole”, was the 150th episode.
I’ve renumbered the guide to agree with that scheme.
Viewers who have taken Kenny Kramer’s Reality Tour of the Seinfeld sites of New York City will
really appreciate this episode. I have and I did. You can find out about the “real” Kramer’s reality
tours at his web site. You’ll find it linked here. He is still conducting them, despite the fact that he
has also recently launched a campaign to get in the Democratic primary for mayor of New York
City. You can also read all about that at his web site. And don’t doubt that this will end up in a
future story. Jerry has already been talking with Kenny about it.
Also viewer David Lipke notes, what is the big deal with Kramer’s chest hair? We’ve seen
Kramer’s bare chest in the “The Pick” and more recently in “The Face Painter”. For the sake of
comedy I guess the production staff forsook continuity. A problem with many television shows.
However, viewer Derrick Jones notes that Kramer was likely showing Jerry a growth of hair below
the abdomen, after all Kramer said “I shaved there once when I was a lifeguard.”
Viewer Ross Raniere notes that Tyler Chicken was supposed to be Tyson Chicken at one point,
but was changed to avoid any legal entanglements.
“The Summer of George”
gs: Raquel Welch [ Herself ], Molly Shannon [ Sam ], Amanda Peet [ Lanette ], Joe Urla [ Dugan
], Victor Raider-Wexler [ Doctor ], Peter Dennis [ Lew ], Tucker Smallwood [ Malcolm ], Wayne
Wilderson [ Walter ], Blake Gibbons [ Lyle ], Adrian Sparks [ Man ], Jane A. Johnston [ Woman ],
Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ], Sue Goodman [ Clerk ], Neil Flynn [ Cop #1 ], Tom Michael Bailey [
Cop #2 ], Denise Bessette [ Therapist ], Dave Mandel [ Himself ] rc: Peterman
George discovers he has a severance package from the Yankees that should last him about 3
months. He decides that he is going to take the summer off. Jerry is going to the Tony Awards
and so is Kramer. Jerry has a real seat; Kramer is a seat filler. Elaine critiques a co-worker who
walks with no arm movements and is accused of being “catty.” Jerry’s picks up his date, only to
find out that she has a man living with her. Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical in which
Raquel Welch is the star. Elaine tries to work things out with her co-worker, to no avail. Kramer
uses his Tony as a ticket into a place he really shouldn’t be, Sardi’s, where the producers of
“Scarsdale Surprise” have a proposition for him. Jerry’s date decides to commit to him. Elaine’s
complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat
fight. Jerry’s girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that
perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm
swinging Raquel Welch from the production. Jerry goes on a date and needs George to handle
the invitations for Lanette’s party. He is not to skimp, this time. Kramer does his duty and pays a
price. A mad Raquel walking down the street gets into a cat fight with a woman who she thinks is
making fun of her, Elaine. George gets distracted and slips on an invitation. Twenty-two episodes
later the gang is back where they were a year ago, only this time George is the one in a hospital
b: 15 May 97 pc: 822 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The 30 May 97 issue of Entertainment Weekly featured Seinfeld. Click on the magazine
name to see the article on-line; however, I am not sure how long the link will last.
9th Season 1997
“The Butter Shave”
gs: Gordon Jump [ Mr. Thomassoulo ], Kristin Davis [ Jenna ], Everett Greenbaum [ McMaines ],
Connie Sawyer [ Old Woman ], Matthew Fonda [ NBC Executive ], Chris Parnell [ NBC Executive
], Frank Van Keeken [ Vegetable Lasagna ], Shannon Whirry [ Cute Girl ], Nancy Balbirer [
Woman ], Erica Y. Becoat [ Stewardess ], Torsten Voges [ Cab Driver ], George Georgiadis [ Cab
Driver ], Brian Callaway [ Passenger ] rc: Newman, Bania, Puddy
Not fully recovered from “The Summer of George”, George is using a cane to get around. Jerry
might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance on a NBC Showcase that might lead to
another pilot. He is also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania’s act is working, only because he
is following on Jerry’s coattails, a time-slot hit. Bania scores with big laughs and also gets one of
Jerry’s ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on vacation for a month in Europe
with David Puddy. If he’s lucky he won’t “come back in a body bag.” Kramer finds butter is a
better protection for his skin after shaving. George is hired for the job because of his use of the
cane. They think he is handicapped and of course he takes full advantage of the situation.
Kramer’s skin feels so good with butter, he takes to spreading it all over his body. Unfortunately
he lays out in the sun where he begins to cook. It’s a long flight back for Elaine and Puddy, who
break up and get back together, only to break up again. Newman, reading the cannibalism
themed story Alive!, finds the smell of a cooked Kramer appealing. Jerry is informed that Bania is
going to follow him on the NBC showcase. George sprains his good leg and Jerry discovers that
George is a closet Bania fan. Kramer tries to keep his skin moist but the baked in smell of cooked
meat is too much for Newman. George manages to keep up his bluff until he tries to take on
some old-timers. Jerry plans to sabotage his own act, surmising that Kenny’s act will also bomb,
but Kenny gets the last laugh.
b: 25 Sep 97 pc: 901 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer & David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This episode was dedicated “In Memory of Our Friend Brandon Tartikoff.” Brandon was a
former executive at NBC who was responsible revitalizing the network in the 1980s. Viewer
Arthur Kleynerman reminds me that it was Brandon who believed in the series from the beginning
and was responsible for keeping the show alive during the early days of low ratings.
Viewer Jeff Holland notes that Jerry referred to Bania as a time-slot hit, an obvious reference to
any show that follows Seinfeld. Will Veronica’s Closet be a time-slot hit? It worked for Suddenly
Susan. Time will tell.
Viewer Taylor Lasseigne notes that the Sheena Easton hit “My Baby Takes the Morning Train”
was also used in “The Bizarro Jerry”.
gs: Gordon Jump [ Mr. Thomassoulo ], Sara Rose Peterson [ Claire ], Jarrad Paul [ Darin ], Ella
Joyce [ Dean Jones ], Nancy Balbirer [ Alice ], Brian J. Williams [ Glenn ], Cindy Lu [ Worker ] rc:
George’s employer wants to get rid of him, since they now know he isn’t really handicapped and
they don’t like him. He has a one year contract with Play Now that he will make sure they honor
by him showing up for work every day. Jerry and George mock the sounds the Jerry’s girlfriend
Claire’s stomach makes during the night. Jerry envisions the belly button as the mouth and the
sound the stomach makes its voice. Because of the “bump into” Jerry tells Elaine that she is
destined to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she bets him $50 that she won’t.
The next day Jerry discovers that Elaine didn’t go home last night, he accuses her of seeing
Puddy. She says the sex they had was an isolated incident. Jerry agrees but the dinner they also
had was more of a commitment, he demands that she pay up. Kramer is tired of seeing all his
ideas implemented, because all the little day to day incidental things keeps getting in his way and
keeping him realizing his ideas. He gets an intern from NYU to help him out with Kramerica
Industries, the corporation he had previously setup to develop some of his ideas. With this help
he’ll be freed from the day to day activities and be able to develop his ideas, such as the oil
tanker bladder. Meanwhile, George is fighting the siege mentality that he is encountering at work
and Elaine just can’t get Puddy off her mind. No matter what the obstacle, George endeavors to
occupy his office. Jerry tells Claire about the voice and she leaves him. The university takes
Kramer’s intern away from him. Claire says they can get back together if he won’t do the voice
ever again, he decides the voice is worth it. Unfortunately, everyone is tired off the voice. Elaine
pays ups and they decided on a double or nothing bet. The intern comes back on his own
because he believes in Kramerica. Play Now tries to negotiate with George, but he won’t give in.
Later, he offers his office and one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer to test his oil bladder idea.
Jerry continues to cash in on his bet with Elaine, who just can’t seem to keep away from Puddy.
The big test takes place at George’s workplace where Jerry plans to meet Claire. They try to warn
her about the falling object, but all she hears is the voice. The lawsuit that is filed by Claire puts
Play Now out of business and George out of his contract.
b: 2 Oct 97 pc: 902 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer & David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Taylor Lasseigne notes that Kramerica Industries was first mentioned in “Male
Unbonding” in conjunction with Kramer’s pizza idea.
“The Serenity Now”
gs: Lori Loughlin [ Patty ], Ross Malinger [ Adam ], Matt McCoy [ Lloyd Braun ], Bruce Mahler [
Rabbi Glickman ] rc: Frank, Estelle, Lippman
Frank is supposed to say “serenity now” every time his blood pressure is in danger of going up.
Jerry’s girlfriend gives his Knicks tickets away. She comments that she has never seen him get
“real mad.” George gets Kramer to help him fix his parents’ screen door. They remove the old
door and Kramer takes it with him. Frank is selling computers; he wants to bring George into his
business. Lippman’s boy tries taking advantage of becoming a man at his bar mitzvah by using
his tongue while kissing Elaine. Kramer installs the screen door outside his apartment to give his
apartment “the cool even breezes of Anytown, USA.” His initial instinct is to quit, but George
decides it is finally time to take on his arch-nemesis, Lloyd Braun, whom Frank has also hired to
sell computers. When Jerry learns how to get mad, it releases all his other feelings, including
caring and another that results in a proposal. Kramer fights with the neighborhood kids of
“Anytown, USA.” George tells Elaine she is attractive to the Lippman men because of her
“shiksappeal.” The result gets her two Lippman “men” who want to denounce their religion.
George hatches a scheme to sell more computers; however, continual use of the phrase “serenity
now” has an “impact” on computer sales. The release of emotions from George has an impact on
emotional Jerry. Elaine seeks help from a “rabbi” to see if she can reduce her “shiksappeal.”
b: 9 Oct 97 pc: 903 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Will Hines notes that George tries to sell Jerry a computer. I’ll add that the type of
computer Jerry has been using has long been a topic of discussion on the alt.tv.seinfeld
newsgroup. He also tries to sell computers to “Art Vandelay.”
gs: Kellie Waymire [ Vivian ], Audrey Kissel [ Tara ], Colton James [ Jimmy ], Gene Dynarski [
Izzy Jr. ], Yvonne Farrow [ Employee ], Lloyd Bridges [ Izzy ] rc: Newman, Morty, Helen
Jerry’s parents are concerned about his lack of exercise. Elaine visits her friend Vivian and is
disappointed when Vivian implies that she isn’t responsible enough to watch her son Jimmy.
George’s girlfriend lights some vanilla scented incense. The overpowering scent makes him
hungry. He decides he needs to add food as a part of his sex life. His girlfriend tolerates some
food items, but not the “salted cured meats.” He also comes up with a way to separate pudding
skin from the pudding, creating pudding skin singles. Kramer has been storing his blood at a
blood bank that begins to raise their rates. In retaliation he decides that he is going to store the
blood himself. Jerry starts a purification program to improve his diet. Vivian decides that Kramer
would be a good choice for a baby-sitter; however, Elaine intercepts him en-route and proves her
responsibility. Jerry becomes the victim of an Exacto knife wound and winds up with three pints of
Kramer blood. Jerry is disturbed by the infusion of Kramer blood. Especially when Kramer calls
him a blood brother. George decides that adding television to his equation will make food and sex
even better. Jerry’s parents buy him sessions with personal trainer, Izzy, who’s going to help him
work off his spare tire. Elaine hates her new responsibility, so she tries to make herself appear
irresponsible. George’s girlfriend doesn’t like television in the equation, the “free love buffet” is
over. Elaine tries to get out of being responsible, by using George as a “pinch weasel”; however,
he may have found the woman of his dreams. Kramer borrows Jerry’s air-conditioned car to
return his blood to the bank. The car overheats because the radiator is bone dry, but not for long.
Jerry’s last workout with Izzy results in another transfusion of blood, only this time it’s not
b: 16 Oct 97 pc: 904 w: Dan O’Keefe d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Jeremy DeMai notes that George sheepishly replies “Pleasuring you?” to his
girlfriend the way he did to another girlfriend in “The Fusilli Jerry” before he learned about “the
move” from Jerry.
“The Junk Mail”
gs: Laurie Taylor-Williams [ Rhisa ], Toby Huss [ Jack ], Dana Gould [ Frankie ], Richard Kuhlman
[ Man ], Montrose Hagins [ Old Woman (Betty) ], Peggy Blow [ Mail Clerk ], Clement E. Blake [
Dirt Person #1 ], D.A. Johnson [ Dirt Person #2 ], Wilford Brimley [ Postmaster General Henry
Atkins ] rc: Newman, Frank, Estelle, Puddy
Jerry’s childhood friend “Fragile” Frankie promises to get Jerry a new car because of a show he
did for Frankie’s car dealership. George prepares for his weekly call to his parents. Kramer plans
his revenge on a company because of the over abundance of catalogs they’ve sent him in the
past month. Elaine is back with Puddy, but meets the man of her dreams at the diner and plans to
keep Puddy in reserve until she finds out if the new guy can “handle the workload.” Kramer gets
deluged with more catalogs and plans to stop the mail. George’s parents cut him short on his
weekly phone call. Jerry gets a van and not the Saab he’d hoped for. Frankie reminds him of the
childhood dream they had where they got a van a toured the country. George pops in on his
parents and reminds his parent’s they didn’t call him back, but they have to leave right away.
Kramer bricks up his mail box, but that doesn’t stop his mail from being delivered. Jerry plans to
sell the van, Kramer helps him out with the ad copy that cites interesting trades considered.
Kramer goes to the post office to permanently cancel his mail. Newman confesses to him that no-
one really needs their mail but that there is a greater conspiracy at work. George demands to
know what’s going on with his parents; they tell him they are cutting him loose. George isn’t ready
for abandonment, he plans to date his cousin as a means of getting his parents involved in his
life. Jerry determines that the appeal Elaine finds in her new boyfriend comes from some old
commercial that he appeared in. Kramer wants Jerry’s van and offers Anthony Quinn’s old tee-
shirt as an interesting trade. Elaine wants Puddy back, but is rejected by him. Kramer uses the
van to launch his anti-postal campaign. George’s cousin is into their relationship; however,
George schemes to have his parents catch him making out with her. Kramer is captured and
enlightened by the postmaster general. Elaine’s boyfriend gets his second piece of good news in
one day, his TV career has been revitalized and she is taking him back. Jerry must sell the van
after seeing what they saw.
b: 30 Oct 97 pc: 905 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Ben Nuckols notes that the closing of this episode was only fair after all Estelle
once found George pleasuring himself in “The Contest”. Of course, did everyone else have to
experience that sight!
Viewer Burton Reibling, suggests that you watch the contents of Elaine’s wineglass in this
“The Merv Griffin Show”
gs: Rick Hall [ Vet ], Brent Hinkley [ Lou ], Julia Pennington [ Celia ], Arabella Field [ Miranda ],
Jim Fowler [ Himself ], Wayne Wilderson [ Walter (uncredited) ] rc: Newman, Peterman, Frank
(voice only, uncredited), Estelle (voice only, uncredited)
Kramer discovers the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster. George’s girlfriend, Miranda,
is disgusted when George runs over some pigeons with his car. The pigeons have broken their
deal with the humans. Jerry is fascinated with his girlfriend’s old toy collection that she won’t let
him near. Elaine’s new co-worker is a real sidler, he causes her to spill coffee that creates a stain
that looks like Fidel Castro. Kramer reconstructs the set in his apartment and begins to conduct
interviews of everyone who enters his apartment. Elaine schemes to out-sidle the sidler who
might be sidling her out of a job. While George swerves to avoid a pigeon, he hits a squirrel. Jerry
schemes for an opportunity to play with the toys. Kramer adds Newman as a co-host for his show
to help relieve the pressure of being a host. Miranda insists that George pay for the special
surgery required to fix the squirrel. Elaine gives Tic Tacs to the sidler to make him noisy,
unfortunately the sound reminds Peterman of an old Haitian torture. Jerry and George execute a
turkey, wine and home movie scheme in an effort to play with the toys. Elaine is disgusted by this
unconscionable behavior, until she hears about the Easy-Bake Oven. Kramer decides to change
the format of the show, to “Scandals and Animals.” On the show, Jerry’s girlfriend finds out about
the schemes and animal expert Jim Fowler is there with a hawk. George brings the squirrel over
to the set to get Jim Fowler’s opinion. Hawks like to eat squirrels.
b: 6 Nov 97 pc: 906 w: Bruce Eric Kaplan d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: A rare episode, where Jerry’s apartment is not featured.
gs: Marcia Cross [ Sara ], Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Larry B. Scott [ Arthur Milano ], David
Moreland [ Mr. Parry ] Elaine is having nightmares and sleepless nights due to her neighbor’s
inconsideracy. The neighbor is out of the country and has left her alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m..
George gets a dream job at a very badly run company, his new boss seems familiar to him, then
a photo in the boss’s office reminds him of “the boom box incident.” Fearing that he might lose his
new position, George listens to Kramer’s advice and plots to get hold of the photograph and get it
retouched. Kramer’s dissatisfied with the meat he is getting with his sandwiches, so he obtains a
meat slicer. Kramer suggests Elaine that she short circuit her neighbor’s apartment and blow the
circuit breaker. Jerry is going to go out on a date with a doctor that Elaine recommended, but the
date is annoying when the doctor can only talk about saving lives. The photo lab screws up the
retouching by eliminating the boss from the photograph and not George. Jerry discovers the
doctor is dermatologist. George recommends a carefully orchestrated revenge date. Kramer uses
the meat slicer to help Elaine feed the neighbor’s cat; the power outage shut off the automatic
feeder. Jerry’s revenge date goes well, until he is reminded of the phrase “skin cancer.” Elaine is
still using the slicer and finds it very handy, until she tries to even her high heels. George goes
back to the photo shop to find they put the boss back in the photograph as a cartoon. He now
needs to obtain a new bare-chested photo of his boss or find a new job, perhaps the Coast
Guard. Jerry’s doctor date would provide the perfect opportunity for him as she does skin cancer
screenings. Elaine keeps the slicer problem from Kramer by threatening him with seeing some
circus clowns. Later, Kramer goes to her apartment to pick up the slicer; she fixes it and quickly
shoves it out the door. Kramer sees the dinged up blade and tries to get back into her apartment,
but he takes the knob of the door. Jerry has developed an allergic reaction to something as hives
have broken out on his neck. Elaine discovers she is trapped inside her apartment. Jerry goes
down to George’s workplace and confronts the doctor about his hives. She leaves and Kramer, in
his white meat slicing coat, steps in as the skin cancer doctor and spots a growth on George’s
boss. George gets his bare-chested photo. Kramer wants to come clean about the growth;
George tells him he will tell his boss to see another doctor. George’s boss doesn’t think it is a
problem, a ten-year-old photo of him shows the mole, it hasn’t changed. He also relates to
George the story about the dumb guy on the beach with the boom box. He mentions to George
(as others have) that he sure has lost a lot of hair in the past ten years. Despite all of that, he gets
to keep the job. Later, the guys keep Elaine company as they wait for the locksmith to come and
open her apartment.
b: 13 Nov 97 pc: 907 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin s: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin & Darin Henry
d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Kyle Westphal was the first to note that George says the incident took place in
1989 and Kruger said the picture was from 10 years ago. A difference of two years.
Jeff Holland notes that Kramer again uses the name of Von Nostrand again. He also used it in
“The Nose Job” and “The Pilot (1)”. Chris Peterson adds that Kramer also used the name again
when trying to obtain Elaine’s medical records in “The Package”.
John “Snapman!!!” Thorpe notes that at the end of the episode, George still appears in the picture
if you look closely.
gs: Brenda Strong [ Sue Ellen ], Micheal McShane [ FDR (Franklin Delano Romanosky) ], Justine
Miceli [ Nina ], Bart Braverman [ Zubin ], Shaun Toub [ Pinter ], Noor Shic [ Usha ], Jocelyne Kelly
[ Model ], Brian Kaiser [ Postman ], Shelley Malil [ Usher ], Bill Lee Brown [ Partygoer ] rc:
Jerry, George and Elaine return from their trip to India that they don’t want to talk about. Sue
Ellen calls the wedding off and Nina doesn’t want George or Jerry. George finds out that Jerry
slept with Nina and Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer and FDR settle their score, a snowball
with something extra. Jerry “schnapps” Elaine to find out why George is so bitter with him.
Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George and Nina arrive in India, where Elaine
discovers that the groom is someone she slept with and that they are the only people from the
U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer is angry with Newman because he didn’t use his
birthday wish to save Kramer from FDR. George “schnapps” Elaine to find out the secret Elaine is
keeping about Jerry and Nina. Elaine buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at her
Kramer tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer from FDR. Elaine finds
that Jerry and Nina have just slept together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen’s fiancÈ who
try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after all they aren’t even going. Jerry and
Nina suffer an awkward pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his birthday
wish. Elaine’s mail from India is an “unvitation” to Sue Ellen’s wedding in India to someone whose
name seems familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date and
realizes he must where his Timberlands every time he sees her. Jerry and George are walking
down the street and they run into Nina and old girlfriend of Jerry’s whom he never slept with.
Kramer attends FDR’s birthday and FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the
candles on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India. Two years earlier, Jerry tells
George and Susan that Nina might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head with a
snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter (Pinter). Eleven years earlier, new resident
Jerry tells his neighbor across the hall, whom he calls Kessler (it’s the name on the mailbox), that
what’s mine is yours.
b: 20 Nov 97 pc: 908 w: David Mandel & Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This episode was shown backwards in the following fashion: all scenes were shown
normally, but they were shown in reverse order with a caption indicating the time frame of the
scene in relation to the previous scene. Essentially the punch line was delivered and the setup
was shown later. The description for the episode reflects the order in which the scenes appear.
This was an intriguing concept that forced the viewer to pay closer attention than normal.
Andy Ackerman won the Director’s Guild of America Award for this episode.
Kent Yoder e-mailed me that Elaine’s boyfriend named Pinter is an obvious reference to that of
playwright Harold Pinter whose plays frequently reflect a logical nonsense. He said that Pinter’s
well known drama, “Betrayal,” deals with love triangles as the scenes are performed backwards
Kyle Westphal notes that the part of the episode that took place two years earlier would have
occurred between “The Secret Code” and “The Pool Guy” assuming that Jerry, George and
Elaine returned on the air date of this episode.
Viewer Rick Marshall wonders why Jerry, the one with the cleanliness fetish, wasn’t the character
trying to avoid using the bathroom while in India. He also wonders about the name Kessler
appearing on the mailbox, shouldn’t it have been Buchman? After all, after the broadcast of “The
Virgin” we learned that Kramer had sublet his apartment from Paul Buchman in the Mad About
You episode called “The Apartment”. Did the writer’s forget about this little continuity detail? They
cleaned up after themselves for the original Kessler reference in “Good News, Bad News” but
forgot about the crossover episode!
gs: James Spader [ Jason (Hanke?) ], Megan Cole [ Peggy ], Kathleen McClellan [ Melissa ],
Jack Hackett [ Alan ], Michael Fishman [ Gregg ], David Dunard [ Leader ], Wayne Wilderson [
Walter ], Brian Levinson [ Andy ], Eric Simonson [ Friend ] rc: Peterman, Puddy
Jerry’s girlfriend walks around his apartment naked; she even eats breakfast and plays Scrabble
naked. An old friend of the gang named Jason is going through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and
is currently working on step 9, where you make amends to individuals for past wrongs. George is
anxious to receive Jason’s apology for the humiliating neck-hole incident. Elaine is offended when
her co-worker, Peggy, can’t tolerate Elaine’s germs, but easily tolerates the germs of other
people. Kramer discovers he’s been taking too long in the shower, so he tries to make some
changes to his shower routine. Jerry comes to realize there is good naked and bad naked, when
he sees his girlfriend coughing. Jason stops by the restaurant to apologize to Jerry, but fails to
apologize to George. George confronts him later, only to be humiliated some more. Kramer
changes don’t work out, so he asks for advice from Jerry and observes the men in the shower at
a health club. Elaine confronts Peggy and gives her some germs. George tells Jerry how he can
show his girlfriend the concept of bad naked using a belt sander. Kramer decides to live in the
shower. George talks to Jason’s sponsor, who recommends that he attend a meeting, only it’s not
AA, it’s Rage-oholics Anonymous (RA). Jerry executes George’s plan. After doing his dishes in
the shower, Kramer decides he needs to add a garbage disposal to bathtub. Kramer calls on
Puddy for installation advice. Elaine tells Jerry one of the problems with his body and why a
naked male body isn’t attractive. Puddy tells Elaine why her co-worker doesn’t like her germs,
she’s a “germ-o-phobe,” like he used to be ten years ago. He accompanies Elaine on a visit to
Peggy to prove his theory. Jerry convinces his girlfriend to put on her clothes; however, he can
only picture her naked and unfortunately she can only do the same with him. Kramer cooks up a
meal that he serves to Elaine, Puddy and the recovering Peggy, only they all react badly when
they find out the kitchen was in the shower. Jason tries to apologize to George, but it isn’t quite
what George had in mind so they both go into a rage.
b: 11 Dec 97 pc: 909 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Kim Babij, noticed that in the scene where Melissa goes to get the jar of pickles…
they didn’t quite frame the shot properly because you can see the waistband of her skin-colored
gs: Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Karen Fineman [ Gwen ], Dave Florek [ Harry ], Kevin Hamilton
MacDonald [ Denim Vest ], Tracy Letts [ Counterguy ], Amit Itelman [ Employee ], Stacey Herring
[ Sandy ], Colin Malone [ Sleazy Guy ], Jerry Dixon [ Customer ] rc: Frank, Estelle, Whatley
George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley’s Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman
with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake
number. George is offended by Whatley’s gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George
is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine’s quest to
become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used
her punch card at the party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word
he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years.
Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to
give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men
at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop
where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-
faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she’s plain; it all depends on the viewer’s angle
and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at
Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the “Human Fund.” Kramer is intrigued by
the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of
rekindling “Festivus for the rest-of-us.” Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he
can’t get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from
the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry’s girlfriend keeps changing.
Jerry decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk’s, something she grows to dislike.
George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the
sabotage he committed, the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly.
Kruger gives George a check for donates $20,000 to the “Human Fund” and later accounting
informs him the charity doesn’t exist. Gwen finds out from Kramer that Jerry is seeing another
woman, Kramer has seen her and she’s not Gwen. Gwen thinks Jerry is two timing her with an
ugly woman. George tries to convince Kruger that he passed out the fake gift cards because he
didn’t want to be ridiculed for the holiday his family traditionally celebrates, Festivus. To prove it,
George brings Kruger to his father’s Festivus dinner, where everyone comes together.
b: 18 Dec 97 pc: 910 w: Dan O’Keefe & Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Kyle Westphal and I want to know, if everyone else at the bagel shop took other jobs over
ten years ago, who called Kramer to let him know the strike was over and why didn’t they return
to work as well? Rick Marshall reminds me there was probably a union steward, who wasn’t
connected with the bagel shop, but had Kramer’s name on a list.
If George’s father hadn’t celebrated Festivus in years, “Why did he still send George a card?”,
asks viewer Miles Galfer. I’d suggest that even though a person may not celebrate a holiday with
all the trimmings, it is possible they might just think to send a card, especially if they want their
loved ones to remember happy childhood memories.
Sharp-eyed viewer Dave Antonoff notes that name of the moving and storage company on the
side of van that “Denim Vest” got his number from was “Azzari Moving and Storage”. Since the
show’s production designer is Tho. E. Azzari, Dave assumes this “had” to be deliberate. I’ll note
that since he is the production designer, he can have whatever legal will let him paint on the side
of the van, including his own name. Viewer Shawn Barat notes that they also moved the couch
that Poppie peed on in “The Couch”.
SPECIAL NOTE: Around Christmas time, as everyone probably knows by now, Jerry announced
that this would be the last season for Seinfeld. Many stories have appeared since the
announcement, talking about the future of NBC’s Thursday night line-up, possibilities for spin-offs,
etc.. Even the New York Post called me to get to my reaction to the announcement. I hear from
friends in New York that I wasn’t quoted, perhaps my fifteen minutes of fame are yet to come.
Anyhow, the only thing we know for sure at this point is that there are going to be 12 more
episodes. Let’s hope they can all be considered classics!
Recently it was reported that the last episode would command greater than Superbowl size prices
for the 30 second commercial spots.
gs: Daniel Hagen [ Rick ], Joel McCrary [ Don ], Michael Kagan [ Willie ], Dee Freeman [ Service
Assistant ], Rif Hutton [ Salesman ], Howard Mann [ Willie Sr. ], Steve Susskind [ Customer #1 ],
Loretta Fox [ Customer #2 ], Catherine Schreiber [ Saleswoman ], Unknown [ Cab Driver
(uncredited) ] rc: Puddy
Jerry plans to buy a car with an insider deal from Puddy, who’s been promoted to a car salesman.
George warns Jerry to watch out for car dealers. Kramer takes the car Jerry is planning to buy for
a test drive with another salesman. Elaine returns from a lunch with Puddy at Arby’s. Puddy offers
Jerry a “high five.” Kramer misses the turn to go back to the dealership; instead, he plans to give
the car a full test of a Kramer daily routine. Hungry, George seeks out something to eat and must
settle for a vending machine candy bar. Only he can’t get one from the machine with a crinkled
dollar so he asks a mechanic (who he knows has a crisp dollar) for assistance and is refused
service. Finally, when he gets the correct change, the Twix bar hangs. With his errands run,
Kramer’s next test is to take the car to the limits of its fuel tank. Irritated (when isn’t he), George
seeks assistance from a salesman. When they return to the machine, the Twix bar George had
hanging and the one behind it are gone. George suspects the mechanic. Elaine and Puddy have
a fight and break up. Jerry’s insider deal is off. George confronts the mechanic. Jerry wants
George to help him get a good deal; however, George is only interested in getting back at the
mechanic. The car salesman riding with Kramer really gets into driving below empty. George tries
to complain about the mechanic, but gets into a debate about candy bars. In an attempt to get a
great deal on his car, Jerry tries to put Elaine and Puddy “in a relationship today.” George sets up
a candy bar lineup, to implicate the mechanic, only to find his lineup being eaten. Elaine and
Puddy get back together and Jerry is going to get his deal, until Puddy says “high five me” to
Jerry, one time too many. Kramer and the salesman, with the dealership in sight, decide instead
to go for it.
b: 8 Jan 98 pc: 911 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Jerry Balsam notes this is one of those rare episodes where Jerry’s apartment isn’t seen.
Jeremy DeMai notes that this is the second one for this season.
The role of the cab driver was played by someone who seems familiar to me, but I’m not sure
where from. Since the role was uncredited, I’m quite sure who it was. Can anyone offer a theory
as to the identity? I have a guess, but I want to hear other opinions first. I know he is involved with
the production, because I saw him in the crowd with Jerry accepting The People’s Choice Award,
that were given out the Sunday after this episode aired. Seinfeld of course, got the favorite
comedy award. I wonder how they fair at the following week’s Golden Globe Awards?
On that same Sunday, a new American Express commercial debuted featuring Jerry and his
hero, Superman. The voice of Superman is that of Patrick (David Puddy) Warburton and Lois
Lane is played by George’s girlfriend, Tara, in “The Blood”. Too bad Teri Hatcher couldn’t have
played Lois in that commercial! Also seen in the commercial is Jack Larson, who played Jimmy
Olsen in The Adventures of Superman.
“The Reverse Peephole (a.k.a. The Man Fur)”
gs: Jon Polito [ Silvio ], Pat Finn [ Joe Mayo ], Jennette Robbins [ Keri ], Fitz Houston [ Cop ], Joe
Basile [ Delivery Guy ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ] rc: Newman, Puddy
Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a “man fur.” Jerry and Elaine leave it to George
to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe
Mayo. Elaine doesn’t like Joe’s parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment.
Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to
evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to
the idea, he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and “man furred” Puddy go to
the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw “Dr.
Zauis” (Puddy’s coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman’s defense with the landlord. Joe
Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all
she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his
wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George’s apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all
his girlfriend’s stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping
with the landlord’s wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy’s coat hanging in a tree.
Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend’s stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman’s small
men’s carryall. “It’s not a purse, it’s European.” Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to
replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds
out that Newman has Puddy’s coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine’s
come-ons, Newman won’t give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord’s wife. The landlord
confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because
he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the
landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift, when he
finds out that Joe Mayo didn’t like the music he provided at last year’s party. Kramer was never in
the gift, he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn’t even know Joe Mayo. George will
be able to return the chair, after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street, George’s wallet
explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his “purse” is stolen and the landlord
finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat.
b: 15 Jan 98 pc: 912 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Kathy Griffin [ Sally Weaver ], Tracy Nelson [ Janet ], Joe Urla [ Dugan ], Paul Benedict [ Mr.
Elinoff ], Bart McCarthy [ Cab Driver ] rc: Newman, Peterman
Kramer’s brutal honesty, gets Jerry in trouble with Susan’s old college roommate, Sally Weaver.
Elaine obsesses over the meaning of a cartoon that appears in The New Yorker. Elaine and later
Kramer comments that George’s new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry. In fact Kramer says “just
because they look-a-like, that doesn’t mean you’re (George) secretly in love with Jerry.” Jerry
confronts Kramer’s frankness. Sally claims that Jerry has ruined her life, she’s quitting the
business, Jerry can’t have that on his conscience, he talks her back into the business. Kramer
makes an important life decision, the only way to keep his mouth shut, is to stop talking. Before
he finally stops talking, Kramer’s constant references to the looks of George’s girlfriend, drives
George out of Jerry’s apartment. Elaine goes to The New Yorker to seek an explanation for the
cartoon. Discovering that the editor didn’t understand the cartoon either, he liked the kitty. Sally
opens her new one woman show about “Jerry Seinfeld- the Devil.” Elaine’s complaint, gets her
the opportunity to do her own cartoon for the magazine. Jerry confronts Sally about the content of
her show. Newman is her biggest fan; finally, he can see a “show that is about something.”
Kramer discovers the disadvantages of not talking. George worries about why he really likes his
girlfriend. A clip of Sally’s show appears on channel 9 news, it features Jerry’s latest confrontation
with her. Elaine works all-night on her first cartoon, it is okay, but it is not the gem that Elaine
thinks it is. Jerry calls Sally and the message he leaves on her answering machine appears in her
show as well. Later the lawsuit he filed appears in her cable special. Jerry decides to cut off all
communication with Sally. Elaine’s first comic appears in The New Yorker. Peterman thinks it is a
great cartoon, until he realizes it is a Ziggy and he can prove it — “Quick Elaine, to my archives.”
George and his girlfriend discuss their relationship, until she gets gum in her hair. Sally starts
talking to the silent Kramer, until he can’t take it anymore. He tells her to shut-up, then he
apologizes and says that he hasn’t spoken for days. Sally tells him to lay it on her. To remove the
gum from her hair, George’s girlfriend cuts her hair, her new hairstyle looks exactly like Jerry’s.
George runs out of the apartment screaming. Elaine tells Jerry about the Ziggy incident. Ziggy
responds to The New Yorker. Sally’s new cable show is about to come on and Jerry is convinced
she’ll have nothing to talk about. He was so wrong. George decides to take a few days off from
his relationship with Jerry.
b: 29 Jan 98 pc: 913 w: Bruce Eric Kaplan d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer Jason Diersman notes that in Kathy Griffin’s real life HBO comedy special she had
a bit about how Jerry Seinfeld was rude to her when they were taping the first episode she
appeared on, “The Doll”. This is possibly the genesis for the premise of this episode?
Dave Antonoff asks if the character Mr. Elinoff was named after production assistant, Jed Elinoff?
gs: Illeana Douglas [ Loretta ], Alex Kapp [ Maura ], Louis Mustillo [ Phil ], Nicholas Paul Walker [
Glenn ], Mary Scheer [ Ms. Smoth ], Bonnie McNeil [ Alison ], Rosie Malek-Yonan [ Wife ] George
tries to break up with his girlfriend, Maura, only she doesn’t agree. Jerry has purchased cuff links
worn by Jerry Lewis in Cinderfella. He plans to use them as a conversation starter with Lewis
when he goes to an upcoming roast at the Friar’s Club. Having the same first name isn’t enough.
A man of mystery that she has met intrigues Elaine. Jerry suggests that perhaps he is a super-
hero. With robberies occurring in the building, Kramer has obtained a strongbox to hold his
valuables. He needs to find a place to hide his key. A place that no one knows, except him. His
first place doesn’t work. George lays out all of the reasons that they should be officially broken
up, Maura still doesn’t agree “to turn the key.” Elaine gives up on her mystery man when he runs
from a woman that Elaine deduces is his wife. She returns to Jerry’s apartment to find that his
intercom is broken. So she shouts to him from the street, about the mystery man, while she waits
for the opportunity to get into his building. Jerry inspects his intercom, only to find Kramer’s
strongbox key hidden inside. Kramer hides his key again. Jerry finds the key again and decides to
go down to let George in. While downstairs, a neighbor who’s forgotten his key and is unknown to
Jerry asks to be let in. Jerry denies him entry. Elaine goes to the mystery man’s shabby
apartment and discovers he is poor and on welfare. The woman he ran from is his welfare
caseworker. Jerry discovers the keyless neighbor, does in fact live in his building, on the 5th floor
in apartment 5E (!) right next door to Kramer.
Elaine tells Jerry about her mystery man’s super powers. George decides that cheating on Maura
might be his ticket out. Kramer lets Phil, Jerry’s “new” neighbor, keep his parrot in the hallway.
Kramer also hides his key at Phil’s. Glenn, the mystery man, takes Elaine on a date in the alley.
Jerry needs his cufflinks for the roast, only to find out that Kramer has locked them in his
strongbox. The key to the strongbox was hidden in the parrot’s food dish, only now the parrot is
dead (from food poisoning) and buried in a pet cemetery. George tries getting caught with the
other woman, only both women agree that they can work with George through this incident.
Elaine discovers that Glenn is, in fact, married. Kramer and Jerry go to the pet cemetery to
exhume the key, his neighbor catches only Jerry. George asks what’s in the cooler (strongbox) as
he easily opens it up.
b: 5 Feb 98 pc: 914 w: Dan O’Keefe s: Dan O’Keefe and Billy Kimball d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: “New” neighbor Phil lives in 5E, this is the number we have known Newman to live in. We
can justify this by assuming that some apartments in the building may have been renumbered.
However, it is most likely that someone on the production team just reused Newman’s door for
the set and didn’t think to change the number. Logically, it should have been 5C.
Viewer Brendan Putnam notes that Jerry finally used his computer again, for the second time in
the history of the series. The first time was in “The Stall.”
gs: Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ], Warren Frost [ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Samuel Bliss Cooper [
Darryl ], Edgar Small [ Sid Luckman ], Vic Helford [ Tom ], Michael McShane [ FDR (Franklin
Delano Romanosky) ], Bahni Turpin [ Waitress #1 ], Constance Zimmer [ Waitress #2 ], Jeanette
Miller [ Old Woman ], Murray Rubin [ Rubin ] rc: Helen, Morty
Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present. George receives a message
from Susan’s parents, the Rosses. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine’s new
boyfriend and that intrigues her (is he black?). George returns the call from the Rosses; the
Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can’t attend, he has to close on his
house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his
coffee table book about coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe her
boyfriend is black. Susan’s parents see George on the street in the city, during the time he is
supposed to be in the Hamptons. Jerry is woken up early in the morning at his parent’s house
and gives his father the “$50” organizer that has many features besides a tip calculator. Later he
discovers that Kramer has moved down there, to join the other retirees. Elaine laughs when
Susan’s parents ask her about George’s house in the Hamptons. Of course, George just builds
on the lie. Morty, who can’t run for president of the condo association, decides that Kramer
should run for condo board president of Del Boca Vista phase III. Once Kramer is elected, Morty
will run things from behind the scenes. Elaine schemes to try to determine her boyfriend’s race.
George finds out the Rosses knew that he lied. He decides to take them to the Hamptons, to “see
who’ll blink first.”
Kramer begins his campaign and the Boca Breeze has good things to say about him (see
NOTE:). When Elaine’s boyfriend says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he is
black. George keeps building on his lie, as he picks up the Rosses and takes them on their ride to
the Hamptons. Kramer receives some bad press from the Boca Breeze; it’s damage control time.
Kramer suggests buying each member of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Jerry
knows he can’t get the deal he told his father he’d received, but Kramer says not to worry, Bob
Saccamando’s father lives down here and can help them out. Elaine and her boyfriend discover
that each is not the race they thought the other was. Saccamando’s father comes through with
knock-off tip calculators called Willard, they are defective and the election is lost. George and the
Rosses reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.
b: 26 Feb 98 pc: 915 w: Steve Lookner d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The Boca Breeze also reports on Larry David’s hole in one, hurting his elbow and his
never playing golf again.
gs: Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Cindy Ambuehl [ Sophie ], Henry Woronicz [ Father Curtis ],
Ursaline Bryant [ Dr. Wexler ], Daniel Dae Kim [ Student #1 ], Alex Craig Mann [ Student #2 ],
Brian Posehn [ Artie ], Alec Holland [ Co-Worker #1 ], Suli McCullough [ Co-Worker #2 ] rc:
Because of the presets she discovers on his car radio, Elaine thinks that Puddy is religious. The
first idea George presents at a Kruger project meeting goes over great, his follow up suggestion
isn’t as well received. Jerry suggests that George use the old showmanship trick of leaving on a
high note. Elaine tells George and Jerry about her suspicions; George suggests that she reset his
radio presets as a test. Kramer and Mickey get an acting gig playing sick for some medical
students. Jerry’s girlfriend, Sophie, calls him with the familiar “it’s me” greeting only he doesn’t
recognize her voice. George leaves a Kruger meeting on a high note. For their acting job, Mickey
gets bacterial meningitis and Kramer has gonorrhea. Elaine confirms that Puddy is religious.
Kramer picks up on the showmanship idea and really plays up his gonorrhea part. Sophie leaves
an “it’s me” message on Jerry’s answering machine. George suggest he call her back with the
“it’s me” greeting. Sophie doesn’t recognize Jerry’s voice and thinks he is someone else; Jerry
discovers that she hasn’t told him about the tractor story. Puddy doesn’t have a problem with
Elaine not being religious, after all he is not the one who’s “going to hell.”
George and Jerry speculate on what the tractor story is. Elaine begins to worry about going to
hell. Kruger throws everyone off the project because they are boring, so now George is the only
other member of the project team. Kramer receives rave reviews for his portrayal of gonorrhea,
but now he feels he has been typecast. Jerry sees a scar on Sophie’s leg and assumes it was
from a tractor accident. George finds that he has to do all the actual work on the project as Kruger
keeps making excuses and doesn’t do any actual work. Puddy wants Elaine to steal a paper,
after all she is already going to hell and he doesn’t seem to care. Kramer takes Mickey’s ailment.
Elaine and Puddy seek the advice of a priest about where their relationship is going. Sophie tries
to tell Jerry the tractor story, but he tells her not to worry about it. Kramer and Mickey come in
arguing about getting gonorrhea and Sophie clears it up for both of them. With that, Jerry leaves
on a high note. Meanwhile, back at the project meeting, Kruger decides to leave George on a
b: 19 Mar 98 pc: 916 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This episode was dedicated “In Memory of Our Friend Lloyd Bridges” who had died since
the last new episode aired. Lloyd of course played the hilarious “it’s go time” character of Izzy in
last season’s episode “The English Patient” and this season’s “The Blood.”
A blooper I noticed in the episode, when Elaine pulls away from the curb in the teaser, where’s
Puddy in the background? This is of course is the result of using stock footage as opposed to
going out and shooting on location.
Also, in the episode of Just Shoot Me! called “The Kiss” that aired before this episode, there was
a reference to Seinfeld in the form of a man saying that he was “Kessler from 5B”.
gs: Jonathan Penner [ Zach ], Ted Rooney [ Crichton ], John Gries [ Rusty ], Sonya Eddy [
Rebecca DeMornay ], Merrin Dungey [ Cashier ], Kevin Ruf [ Security Guard ], Heather Morgan [
Server ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ], Mark Daniel Cade [ Walter ], Sloppy Joe [ Hobo Joe ] rc:
Newman, Morty, Helen, Peterman, Uncle Leo
Kramer “hangs-out” more than usual at Jerry’s place. Jerry and George are at a bookstore where
George hopes to meet women and Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting. George takes a large book
into the bathroom with him. Elaine is at the annual Peterman party, where everyone is anxious to
know if she is going to dance again and when. The bookstore makes George buy the book that
he took into the bathroom. Elaine didn’t dance at the party instead she and a man named Zach
got drunk and made out at their table. George suggests that she tell everyone that she and Zach
are dating, that way she won’t be known as the “office skank.” Kramer and Newman plan to
implement Kramer’s idea for running a rickshaw service in the city. They are getting a rickshaw
from Hong Kong, now they need to find someone to pull it. Jerry confronts Uncle Leo about the
stolen book. Uncle Leo claims it is a right as a senior citizen. Elaine catches her man with another
woman. Kramer and Newman attempt to interview potential rickshaw pullers from a collection of
homeless men; however, their first candidate takes off with the rickshaw. George tries to return
his book, but is told the book has been flagged as having been in the bathroom. Jerry rats out
Uncle Leo at the bookstore.
Jerry talks with his parents about Uncle Leo’s theft and finds out about his prior, the crime of
passion of which his mother will not tell him the details. His parents also inform him of the senior
approach; it is not stealing if you need it. Elaine plans to use the cheating angle to protect her
reputation. Jerry tries to talk with Uncle Leo, but the only thing Uncle Leo tells him is that he never
forgets when he’s been betrayed. George discovers his book has been flagged in all the
databases as a bathroom book. Elaine’s plan goes awry when Peterman demands that she help
Zach get off the “yam yam” by helping him to quit cold turkey. Jerry has a nightmare about Uncle
Leo. Newman and Kramer discover where the rickshaw is and Kramer loses the contest to
determine who will pull the other. George tries to donate his book to charity, but even they won’t
take the marked book. When Kramer gets tired pulling Newman in the rickshaw up a hill and lets
it go, the results are disastrous for Elaine’s recovered “boyfriend” Zach. George plans to steal a
good copy of the book, so he can return it to get his money back. Just as Jerry finds out from the
manager that the manager has been told that the store needs to make a good example out of a
shoplifter, any shoplifter, as long as they catch him in the act.
b: 9 Apr 98 pc: 917 w: Spike Feresten s: Spike Feresten and Darin Henry & Marc Jaffe d: Andy
gs: Julia Campbell [ Lisi ], Peter Stormare [ Slippery Pete ], Reuven Bar [ Shlomo ], Sam
Shamshak [ Sal ], Wayne Wilderson [ Walter ], Mark Daniel Cade [ Other Walter ], Jack Esformes
[ Mike ], Melissa Denton [ Kobe ], Oliver Muirhead [ Lubeck ], Drake Bell [ Kenny ] rc: Peterman
Elaine is confronted with cake from two separate birthday celebrations. She is tired of the forced
socializing, so she calls in the sick the following day. Jerry & George are going to their old high-
school hangout for one last slice of pizza. Kramer was at the police station where he obtained
some caution tape used for crime scenes and also hears about a serial killer that is on the loose
in the Riverside Park area. At the pizza parlor, George discovers he still has the high score on the
old Frogger video game. Elaine’s co-workers give her a cake to celebrate her return to work from
being sick, she refuses to take part in any future celebrations. Jerry goes out with Elaine’s friend
Lisi, but she is a “sentence finisher, it’s like dating Mad-Libs.” George decides to by the Frogger
machine, but Jerry asks him how he is going to move it and keep it plugged in to preserve the
high score. (This pizza parlor has never had a blackout in all that time? Sometimes with sitcoms,
we must suspend reality. Kramer discovers the last victim of the serial killer looked a lot like Jerry.
George works to find a solution to his Frogger problem and Kramer volunteers the help of a man
he knows named “Slippery Pete.” Elaine misses the 4 o’clock sugar rush she had gotten used to
from all the celebrations, so she decides to raid Peterman’s refrigerator, where she finds a piece
of cake. She finds out from Peterman that the piece of cake he has in his refrigerator is worth
$29,000 because of its historical significance. The cake comes from the 1937 wedding of King
Jerry is looking to breakup with Lisi, but discovers that she lives in Riverside Park area. To avoid
the serial killer, he takes Lisi back to his place where she finishes one of his thoughts that takes
their relationship to the next level. Elaine tells Jerry and George about the cake and she also tells
Jerry that Lisi is planning a weekend trip for them to Pennsylvania Dutch country. Jerry fears that
Lisi received the wrong message as that kind of a trip is for a serious relationship. Elaine tries to
even out Peterman’s slice of cake, but gets swept up in the moment and finishes it off. George
tries to coordinate the movement of Frogger machine. Elaine looks for a replacement for
Peterman’s cake, Kramer suggests an Entemann’s cake. Jerry goes to Lisi’s apartment, where he
tries to break up with her. It goes on for ten hours, when he is ready to leave he discovers it is
dark out. After exiting her apartment, he sees a man whom he fears is the serial killer and pleads
to be let back in. Peterman has his piece of cake appraised at $2.19. When George finds
“Slippery Pete” playing his Frogger game on battery power; it is discovered there only about three
minutes of power remaining. The only available power source is across the busy street and
Kramer has run out of caution tape. It’s up to George to get the Frogger machine across the
street; however there is no chance of a high score in this game. Later, Peterman shows Elaine
surveillance videotape of her eating and “dancing” with the slice of cake; he is convinced that the
age of the cake and its effect on her digestive system are all the punishment she needs.
b: 23 Apr 98 pc: 918 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin s: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin and Steve
Koren & Dan O’Keefe d: Andy Ackerman
gs: Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Angela Featherstone [ Cindy ], Anthony Crivello [ Maxwell ],
Markus Flanagan [ Charles ], Sam Whipple [ Phone Guy #1 ], Kyle Colerider-Krugh [ Phone Guy
#2 ], Steve Franken [ Brendan ], Davenia McFadden [ Coco ], Damon Jones [ Watkins ], Chip
Chinery [ Co-Worker #1 ], Colin McClean [ Co-Worker #2 ], Anthony Mangano [ Fireman ] George
searches for a nickname and decides on “T-bone”. Jerry has hired a maid to clean his apartment.
Elaine suspects there is more than cleaning going on. Kramer’s girlfriend is moving downtown (10
minutes by subway) to a different way of life. Kramer tells Elaine he is having a fax sent to her
apartment, only Elaine informs him that she doesn’t have a fax machine. George makes a play for
being called “T-bone” at work, but a coworker gets the honor. Elaine gets home to find 57
messages waiting for her, most of them the fax machine trying to deliver Kramer’s fax. Elaine
catches Jerry kissing the maid. Jerry confesses that he has a personal and work relationship with
his maid named Cindy. Kramer’s girlfriend is gone and he tells Elaine that he signed up for a food
delivery service. They’re going to fax him menus for all the restaurants for the next year. Elaine
gets a new number and with it a new area code, she really wanted a “changed” number. Kramer
and his girlfriend have a relationship by phone. George finds out about Jerry and his maid. Elaine
tries to give out her new number to a guy, but the new area code scares him off. George wants
his nickname and confronts his coworker, Kruger sees George’s gestures through a window and
it reminds him of “Koko the Monkey.” Elaine finds out a woman in her building has died, she had
a telephone number with a 212 area code. When Cindy takes her fee but leaves without cleaning
anything, Jerry wonders what he’s paid for. Kramer calls him “a john”.
George and Jerry swap information on their respective situations at Monk’s counter. Kramer
returns from visiting his girlfriend and reports the oddities he saw there. The gang tries to
communicate while sitting at Monk’s counter. Jerry’s maid tells George that there is woman at the
cleaning service named Coco. George sees this as an opportunity to get out from under this
nickname. Jerry breaks up with and fires Cindy. Elaine gets the dead woman’s number and
receives her first phone call from the woman’s grandson who hasn’t been told she’s dead. Kramer
breaks up with his girlfriend and she throws him out. He gets lost downtown and calls on Jerry for
help. While going to rescue Kramer, Jerry is confronted by his Cindy’s pimp-like boss. He says
that Jerry must pay Cindy. Elaine convinces the grandson that his grandma is dying, the boy calls
911. Jerry spots Cindy walking down the street and tries to pay her but gets busted by the police.
Elaine’s door is broken down by the fire department. Cindy’s boss picks up Kramer and it might
lead to a new career in cleaning. George gets out from under being “Koko,” only to get another
b: 30 Apr 98 pc: 919 w: Alec Berg & David Mandel & Jeff Schaffer s: Alec Berg & David Mandel &
Jeff Schaffer and Kit Boss & Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
“The Puerto Rican Day”
gs: Mario Joyner [ Lamar ], Dayton Callie [ Cabbie ], James Karen [ Mr. Canterman ], Helen
Carey [ Mrs. Christine Nyhart ], Yul Vasquez [ Bob ], John Paragon [ Cedric ], Jenica Bergere [
Leslie ], Monica Allison [ Gail ], Marcelo Tubert [ Father ], Armando Molina [ Amigo ], Tom Agna [
Gary ], Tom Dahlgren [ Priest ], Bert Rosario [ Man ], Raoul N. Rizik [ Parade Goer ], Scott Conte
[ Sketch Guy ], Mimi Cozzens [ Mrs. Canterman ], Alison Martin [ Lucy ], Marc Hirschfeld [ Ellis ],
Chip Heller [ Policeman ], Bob Murphy [ Voice of Himself, Mets Broadcaster (uncredited) ] The
gang tries to get back into town after leaving the Mets game early in the 8th inning, the Mets are
down 8 – 0. On the highway they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. George
comments on a new movie he saw about the Hindenburg disaster and the clever comment he
made during a quiet moment after the explosion. As they approach 5th Avenue traffic slows down
and music can be heard, they realize they have forgotten about the Puerto Rican day parade.
Elaine worries about getting home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend wind down.
Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way over to the right. They almost make it over until
they reencounter the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate transportation.
George bails out of the car when he spots a theater screening the Hindenburg movie; he decides
he wants to repeat his glory. Elaine decides the cab she hired isn’t working, so she bails out of
the cab, only to have it start moving again and again. George’s attempt to be funny at the movie
is undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser pointers. Kramer suggests that he and Jerry
abandon his car. The laser pointer guy (a lousy prop comic) gets all the laughs as George’s line
bombs and he is humiliated. Kramer cuts a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to
the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns to the car with the red dot of a
laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body. Jerry rescinds his apology wave just as he is
about to pull in the alley; Elaine arrives back at the same spot in her cab.
Jerry’s apartment is seen, but no one is home. Elaine seeks an alternate way home. Kramer
seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over to the parade route and looks for a way across.
She leads a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing stand ala The Poseidon
Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy
industrialist, to get access to a bathroom. When he gets back he tells Jerry about the Mets game.
Soon after, Kal Varnsen (Jerry’s alias), is looking at the television in the apartment. George spots
the laser guy and plans a sneak attack. Elaine’s route leads to a dead end. George grabs what he
thinks is the laser pointer and gets ink all over his hands. Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto
Rican flag on fire and a mob of people, led by the armoire stealing tough guys. Art Vandelay
seeks the use of a bathroom to clean the ink off his hands and runs into Varnsen. Pennypacker
joins them on the run from the mob. Varnsen wants know who’s watching the Saab factory. The
mob is watching it; however, they leave it in a precarious position.
b: 7 May 98 pc: 920 w: Alec Berg and Jennifer Crittenden and Spike Feresten and Bruce Eric
Kaplan and Gregg Kavet and Steve Koren and David Mandel and Dan O’Keefe and Andy Robin
and Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The episode caused a bit of stir in the Puerto Rican community, causing NBC to issue an
apology. The controversy involved the flag-burning sequence.
And now Jerry Balsam tells me that laser pointers have come under attack with legislation in NYC
to make it misdemeanor to improperly use one. This is probably a good idea, since laser light can
cause harm if pointed into the eyes.
Viewer Jeff Holland passed these Seinfeld TV events onto me, so I hope your VCRs were tuned
up and taping.
All times listed are Eastern.
* May 7th Thursday CBS 7 am This Morning Something about Seinfeld.
* May 9th Saturday syndicated ** Access Hollywood Seinfeld Special.
* May 11th Monday A&E 8 pm Biography Jerry’s life.
* May 12th Tuesday NBC 10 pm Dateline The gang gets interviewed.
* May 13th Wednesday NBC 7 am Today Show Cast members talk about favorite
* May 13th Wednesday ABC 8:30 pm Dharma & Greg “Much Ado During Nothing”
The couple plans to try having sex in public, because they believe everyone is home watching
* May 14th Thursday NBC 7 am Today Show Jerry gets interviewed.
* May 14th Thursday CBS 7 am This Morning Seinfeld Highlights
* May 14th Thursday syndicated ** Regis & Kathie Lee Wayne Knight is interviewed.
* May 14th Thursday syndicated ** Judge Judy Kenny Kramer defends himself against
a campaign worker.
* May 14th Thursday syndicated ** Oprah Farewell to Seinfeld, with Liz Sheridan &
* May 14th Thursday MTV 7:30 pm Celebrity Death Match Jerry Seinfeld vs. Tim Allen
* May 14th Thursday NBC 8-10 pm Seinfeld “The Clip Show” / “The Finale”
* May 14th Thursday NBC 11:30 pm The Tonight Show Jerry & JFK Jr. are guests.
* May 17th Sunday Lifetime 11 pm Barbara Walters interviews Jerry.
** Check local listings for time.
This is just an overview of some of the stuff that was scheduled to air during this final week.
There are probably numerous interviews, celebrations, etc. being carried by the local affiliates,
syndication outlets and the various entertainment programs. No ATTEMPT will be made to
document them all.
“The Clip Show (1)”
Jerry, Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to the movie, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at
nine years of memories. Featuring relationships (getting in & out), etc.
b: 14 May 98 pc: 921 w: Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman
“The Clip Show (2)”
More clips are seen and finally the closing minutes feature a series of bloopers and a musical
montage that features the song “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” by the band Green Day,
from their 1997 album Nimrod.
b: 14 May 98 pc: 922 w: Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: When originally shown, both parts of this episode were shown in a 45 min time slot. When
this episode was rerun on 9 May, the missing fifteen minutes of footage was restored, so future
airings in syndication will feature the “whole” episode, less the 1 minute from each part that will
be removed to allow for extra commercials. At least now some of the clip sequences make more
sense, from some of the net postings I’ve seen. My cable was out the night the rerun, so I have
yet to see this.
Of course we have to ask the question, why didn’t NBC just show this in its complete form the first
time? We are talking about a television network, so we can’t use logic. When they reran The
Finale the following week, they allowed their schedule to over run. Was it that important that the
season finale of ER start at 10 o’clock eastern? These are of course, rhetorical questions.
“The Finale (1)” (45 min)
gs: Peter Blood [ Jay Crespi ], David Byrd [ Pharmacist ], Steve Carlson [ Captain Maddox ],
David Dunard [ Guard ], Donna Evans [ Woman ], Geoffrey C. Ewing [ Bailiff ], Warren Frost [ Mr.
(Henry) Ross ], Keith Hernandez [ Himself ], Scott Jaeck [ Officer Vogel ], Wendle Josepher [
Susie ], Robert Katims [ Mr. Deensfrei ], Scott Klace [ Guard ], Bruce Mahler [ Rabbi Glickman ],
Ed O’Ross [ Det. Blake ], Kevin Page [ Stu Chermak ], James Pickens Jr. [ Det. Hudson ], John
Pinette [ Howie ], Victor Raider-Wexler [ Dr. Wexler ], James Rebhorn [ D.A. Hoyt ], Peter Riegert
[ Kimbrough ], Geraldo Rivera [ Himself ], McNally Sagal [ Carol ], Gay Thomas [ O’Neal ], Myra
Turley [ Foreman ], Jane Wells [ Herself ], Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ], Van Epperson [
Passerby ], Jeff Johnson [ Criminal ], Sean Moran [ Man ], Dianne Turley Travis [ Receptionist ],
Jim Zulevic [ Bernie ] rc: Newman, Frank, Estelle, Helen, Morty, Bania, Uncle Leo, Jackie Chiles,
Peterman, Puddy, Mickey
Jerry and George discuss the movies and George’s desire to get his fifteen minutes of fame.
Kramer is off to the beach. Elaine calls a friend, whose father is in the hospital, with her cell
phone; Jerry and George tell her that is a social faux pas. Jerry gets a message from NBC that
they want to talk about the pilot. So Jerry and George go to meet with the new vice president of
programming, who is interested in turning their pilot into a 13 episode series. Jerry and George
begin to make plans to move to California. Jerry interrupts Elaine’s phone call to her friend to tell
her about the NBC deal. When he finds out what she did, he tells her that was an even greater
faux pas than the cell phone. Jerry and George’s parents are excited by the news about the NBC
deal. NBC offers Jerry & George a perk, free use of one of their private jets to anywhere they
want. Kramer returns from the beach, but has a little bit of water trapped in his ear. Kramer warns
they’ll never come back from LA, “she’s a seductress”. Hey! He did.
The foursome decides where they want to take the private jet. They finally decide on Paris. As
they are ready to leave, Elaine plans to call her friend again; Jerry tells her it is not right to rush
that kind of phone call. Elaine avoids a faux pas. Newman begs to be brought along, when Jerry
denies him, he vows to be there at Jerry’s day of reckoning. The private jet, except for George
who wanted the one Ted Danson would have gotten impresses everyone. With water still in his
ear, Kramer tries to get it out mid-flight. He stumbles into the cockpit and the plane starts going
into a crash dive. During the descent, George confesses he cheated during “the contest” and
Elaine and Jerry are about to tell each other something important, when the plane corrects itself.
The plane puts down in the small town of Latham, Massachusetts for a checkup. The foursome
goes into town and debates about if they are going to get back on the plane. They witness the
robbery of a fat guy, which they all mock and Kramer videotapes. They are arrested under the
Good Samaritan law established by the town.
They are looking at a fine of a maximum of $85,000 and up to five years in prison. The guard
assumes they are going to be prosecuted since this is the first offense of this kind in the country.
Jackie Chiles is called in for their defense. The prosecution decides to look into the past of these
four and build a case that will destroy their characters. Rivera Live covers the trial. Jerry and
George’s parents prepare to go to Latham for the trial. Newman (who’s absolutely delighted),
Uncle Leo, Peterman, Puddy, Mickey, Bania, Mr. & Mrs. Ross, Rabbi Glickman, Keith Hernandez
and George Steinbrenner also make their way to Latham. Jackie tries to give George a moral
compass. The judge, Arthur Vandelay, begins the trial. George thinks the name might be a good
sign. The trial begins with opening arguments.
b: 14 May 98 pc: 923 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
“The Finale (2)”
gs: Stanley Anderson [ Judge Vandelay ], Frances Bay [ Mrs. Choate ], Peter Blood [ Jay Crespi
], David Byrd [ Pharmacist ], Tony Carlin [ Co-Worker ], Steve Carlson [ Captain Maddox ],
Melanie Chartoff [ Robin ], Brian Doyle-Murray [ Mel Sanger ], David Dunard [ Guard ], Geoffrey
C. Ewing [ Bailiff ], Warren Frost [ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Brian George [ Babu Bhatt ], Philip Baker
Hall [ Mr. Bookman ], Teri Hatcher [ Sidra ], John Hayman [ Bubble Boy ], Keith Hernandez [
Himself ], Carlos Jacott [ Pool Guy ], Scott Jaeck [ Officer Vogel ], Wendle Josepher [ Susie ],
Robert Katims [ Mr. Deensfrei ], Scott Klace [ Guard ], Janes Leeves [ Marla ], Bruce Mahler [
Rabbi Glickman ], Wendel Meldrum [ Low-Talker ], Sheree North [ Babs ], Ed O’Ross [ Det. Blake
], Kevin Page [ Stu Chermak ], James Pickens Jr. [ Det. Hudson ], John Pinette [ Howie ], Victor
Raider-Wexler [ Dr. Wexler ], James Rebhorn [ D.A. Hoyt ], Geraldo Rivera [ Himself ], McNally
Sagal [ Carol ], Miguel Sandoval [ Marcelino ], Reni Santoni [ Poppie ], Gay Thomas [ O’Neal ],
Larry Thomas [ Soup Nazi ], Myra Turley [ Foreman ], Jane Wells [ Herself ], Grace Zabriskie [
Mrs. Ross ], Van Epperson [ Passerby ], Dianne Turley Travis [ Receptionist ], Jim Zulevic [
Bernie ] rc: Newman, Frank, Estelle, Helen, Morty, Mr. Pitt, Lippman, Wilhelm, Bania, Uncle Leo,
Jackie Chiles, Peterman, Puddy, Mickey
The videotape Kramer made is played for the jury. When the NBC executives arrive, George
forgets about the trial for a moment and complains loudly about the plane. The prosecution
begins to call their witnesses and each will do more to break down the characters of the
foursome. First, the arresting officer is called to the stand, followed by the victim. Then the
prosecution begins to call a variety of familiar faces. Starting with the elderly woman that Jerry
stole the marble rye from. The virgin, Marla, is called to the stand and she tells the court about
the foursome’s contest. Further testimony is given by the bubble boy. The woman who needed a
handicapped spot. The doctor who was on duty the night Susan died. Sidra, the woman with no
implants. Mr. Bookman, the library cop. George’s former girlfriend Robin, whose apartment
caught on fire. The security guard from the parking garage. A detective from when Kramer was
dressed like a pimp. The low-talker tries to testify (only she can’t be heard). Steinbrenner talks
about calzone and George’s communism. The man who runs the cockfights. The pharmacist who
sold Elaine a case of contraceptive sponges. A co-worker tells about Elaine’s Christmas card. Mr.
Pitt tells about when Elaine tried to kill him with a pillow. The soup nazi takes the stand and finally
Babu Bhatt returns to the US to tell about the cafe and his deportation. They are “very, very, bad.”
Rivera Live reports that the jury is in deliberation. Meanwhile, the foursome speculates on life in
prison. Estelle tries to bribe the judge to be lenient on George if he’s found guilty. A montage of
activity is shown while the jury is in deliberation, that includes people we didn’t see testifying like
the Rabbi, Wilhelm, Keith Hernandez, Bania, Peterman, Puddy, Newman, Mr. Lippman, Poppie,
Mr. Ross browsing for a handgun and ends with Jackie Chiles “cross-examining” Sidra outside
the courtroom. The jury comes back. Jerry asks Elaine what she was going to say to him on the
plane as it was crashing. She responds, “I always loved U-United Airlines”. The jury returns a
verdict of guilty. The foursome shows no remorse as they are sentenced to a year in jail, for doing
“nothing.” Jackie testifies to Jerry about Sidra’s lack of implants. As the foursome sits in a prison
cell, Jerry comments about the second button on George’s shirt. A conversation they had nine
years earlier on the 5th of July 1989. Jerry closes with a prison-based monologue.
b: 14 May 98 pc: 924 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: One of the jurors contacted me via e-mail with the following observations, which I’ve
paraphrased. First the jury was made up of friends and family of the cast and crew. The front row
was made up of Dana Alexander (Jason’s wife), Darin Henry (Larry David’s assistant), the mother
of an unknown crewmember, Carol Brown (the mother of Jerry’s assistant), Spike Feresten
(writer), and actress Myra Turley as the Forewoman. The back row was made up of the parents
of the show’s production accountant, some production guy, Steve Koren (writer), the show’s set
designer and Michael Richards’ girlfriend. The courtroom scenes took three days to film, with two
verdicts being shot. Hilarious interactions between Mickey and Bania, Newman and Keith
Hernandez, J. Peterman and Puddy were recorded, however, they all fell victim to time
constraints. I, as well as many others, would love to see all this footage. A great idea for a home
A FINAL NOTE: Of all our guides, this one has been the most fun to do. First, I’d like to thank my
co-worker Jeff Latzko for his enthusiasm that got me hooked into the show all those years ago.
Second, I’d like to thank everyone who has helped to contribute to this guide. In fact, many of you
have sent in contributions that have yet to appear in the guide. I haven’t forgotten your
contributions, I’ve had numerous time constraints this past couple of years related to the master’s
degree I have just completed. So sometime in the future, I will endeavor to include those items. In
addition, after I saw the contents of this guide reprinted with my permission in the publication
“Goodbye, Seinfeld”, a Gold Collector Series Entertainment Magazine, I realized that all of the
early descriptions really need to be enhanced. I will also be trying to do this over the summer,
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This guide may be distributed and copied freely, in its entirety, for personal use. All original author
and copyright information must remain intact. Any sales or other uses of this document are
expressly forbidden, without the specific consent of the author(s).
Text Copyright © 1994-99, Dennis Kytasaari. All rights reserved.