- "Good
News, Bad News"
gs: Lee Garlington [ Claire ], Pamela Brull [
Laura ]
A girl
Jerry met on the road wants to stay with him when she comes
to New York. George thinks that she is just using Jerry as
contingency plan. Hoffman (Kramer) comes by to borrow a couple
of pieces of meat. The girl calls and asks Jerry if she can
stay at his apartment for the night, when she arrives she
asks to stay for another night. Jerry is disappointed when
everything is going his way until he finds out she is engaged.
b:
5 Jul 89 pc: 101 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Art Wolff
NOTE: In
this episode, Jerry refers to Kramer as Kessler, because
we later learn in "The Betrayal" this was the name on the buzzer for Kramer's
apartment. This also discounts the fact that Kramer has sublet
the apartment from Paul Buchman from Mad
About You in an episode of that series that aired
after "The Virgin." I suppose that Buchman could have sublet the
apartment to someone named Kessler before Kramer had moved
in. As strange as Kramer can be, perhaps he thought it best
to not let anyone know he lived there and never changed the
name.
In the TV
Guide entry for this episode, his character is credited
as Hoffman. I assume that this is the way it appeared in
the script somewhere along the way. There were probably
a number of name changes for this character, while Kenny
Kramer was deciding whether or not his name could be used.
1st
Season Spring 1990 (series is re-titled Seinfeld)
- "The
Stakeout"
gs: Lynn Clark [ Vanessa ], Phil Bruns [ Morty
Seinfeld ], Maud Winchester [ Pamela ], William Fair [
Roger ], Ron Steelman [ Artie Levine ], Joe George [ Uncle
Mac ], Ellen Gerstein [ Carol ], Janet Rotblatt [ Woman
]
rc: Helen
Elaine
brings Jerry to a birthday party where he meets a woman who
fascinates him. Jerry doesn't know her name and wants to
meet her again, so on some advice from his father, he and
George stakeout the lobby of the building she works in.
b:
31 May 90 pc: 103 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: When
this episode is shown in syndication, Phil Bruns still plays
Jerry's dad (a role later assumed by Barney Martin). This
is unlike George's dad, who was played by one actor, replaced
by Jerry Stiller, and footage was re-shot with Jerry taking
over the original dad's part in "The Handicap Spot".
Viewer
Mike Greenhaus reminds me that this is the first episode
that George uses the name Art Vandelay. The name of Vandelay
would be used again in "The Boyfriend" and many other episodes. Another viewer, Jeremy
DeMai, also notes that George first mentions his fetish for
wanting to be an architect.
Viewer
Ross Raniere remembers that when this episode was rerun on
NBC, Jerry and Julia come on in a bumper before the show
started. Jerry mentions how many episodes they've done so
far, with Julia sitting next to him on the set's couch. He
then said, "And this is the very first one we did." Jerry
then says something about "the chemistry" and just as the
bumper was about to fade, he and Julia embraced each other
as if they were going to kiss. This of course was the first
episode that Jerry and Julia had done together. Jerry discounted
the Seinfeld Chronicles episode.
- "The
Robbery"
gs: Anita Wise [ Waitress ], James F. Dean [ Larry
], Kimberley Kates [ Diane ], Bradford English [ Cop ],
David Blackwood [ Man #1 ], George Simms [ Man #2 ]
While
out of town Jerry's apartment gets robbed (Kramer left the
door open); so he considers moving. However, the apartment
that George shows him is also an apartment that he wants,
so they try to decide who will get it. Whoever wins, Elaine
wants their apartment. Meanwhile, Kramer searches for the
stolen property.
b:
7 Jun 90 pc: 104 w: Matt Goldman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Kyle
Westphal notes that Jerry tells Elaine that is she needs
to have sex while watching his apartment, do it in the tub.
Later in "The English Patient", Elaine
says, "Sex in a tub, that doesn't work.
- "Male
Unbonding"
gs: Kevin Dunn [ Joel ], Anita Wise [ Waitress
], Frank Piazza [ Customer ], Kimberley LaMarque [ Teller
]
Jerry
ponders a few courses of action when he sees that he no longer
has anything in common with a clingy and obnoxious childhood
friend. George has trouble with his latest relationship.
Kramer has the idea to open a chain of make-your-own-pizza
parlors and is looking for investors.
b:
14 Jun 90 pc: 102 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
- "The
Stock Tip"
gs: Lynn Clark [ Vanessa ], Ted Davis [ Dry Cleaner
], Jill C. Klein [ Waitress ], Benjamin Lum [ Stock Boy
]
Jerry
and George get some inside information that gives them hope
for a new stock. Elaine has trouble with her boyfriend's
cats. She's allergic to them. Jerry plans his first weekend
trip with Vanessa. George says they are "relationship killers." Kramer
has an idea for a roll-out tie dispenser and warns Jerry
about the market. Jerry becomes worried when the stock drops
and they have trouble locating the broker who has information
on when to sell their stock. They find out he's in the hospital.
Jerry confronts his dry cleaner about his shirt. Elaine considers
the cat problem. Anxious Jerry sells; George plans to go
down with the ship. Jerry's trip is a disaster, but the stock
turns okay for George.
b:
21 Jun 90 pc: 105 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
2nd
Season Winter 1991
- "The
Ex-Girlfriend"
gs: Tracy Kolis [ Marlene ], Karen Barcus [ Receptionist
]
George
has doubts about his current relationship that he broke off.
Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with
a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past
two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship
when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although
he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold
over him and he becomes worried about what George might think
if he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the
guy in her building and Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy
when his girlfriend sees his act.
b:
23 Jan 91 pc: 201 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
NOTE: A
glitch was just recently pointed out to me by Eric Wilks.
I had listed the original air date for this episode as 16
Jan. Well, every network's programming that evening was preempted
for the start of something called "The Gulf War." Gee was
it that long ago? Anyhow, the first episode of the season
was delayed and shown a week later.
Kyle Westphal
notes that George wants his books back, only later we now
that George will do anything not to read. Such as in "The Couch". He mentions that Books on Tape have spoiled him "The Fatigues". Perhaps he will changes his ways when he says
he'll read a book cover to cover in "The Summer of George". I doubt it.
- "The
Pony Remark"
gs: Rozsika Halmos [ Manya ], David Fresco [ Isaac
], Scott N. Stevens [ Intern ], Earl Boen [ Eulogist
]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Uncle Leo
Jerry's
parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry
bets Kramer that he won't complete his plans to renovate
his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine
to the dinner and he makes an observation about children
who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor.
When she dies soon afterwards, Jerry wonders if he should
go to the funeral or go to his championship softball game.
Elaine wonders about the fate of the apartment, when she
hears the widower is moving to Arizona. George wonders if
it will ever be possible for him to have sex again.
b:
30 Jan 91 pc: 202 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
- "The
Jacket"
gs: Lawrence Tierney [
Alton Benes ], Frantz Turner [ Salesman ], Susanne Spoke
[ Customer ], Harry Hart-Browne [ Manager ]
Jerry
buys a real expensive new suede jacket with a colorful inner
lining. George has a song from Les Miserables that
he just can't get out of his mind. Kramer is supposed pickup
a magician friend's doves, and needs someone to help him
for two minutes; Elaine takes on the job. Kramer promises
she'll get "a lift" to the hotel where Jerry and George are
meeting her and her father, Alton Benes, an author cut from
Hemingway cloth. Jerry and George suffer while waiting with
Elaine's father. When it begins to snow, Jerry turns his
new jacket inside out, to protect it, but Alton Benes doesn't
want to be seen on the street with him.
b:
6 Feb 91 pc: 205 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
- "The
Phone Message"
gs: Tory Polone [ Carol ], Gretchen German [ Donna
]
George
blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and
then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively
nastier messages on her answering machine. He gets the chance
to prevent her from hearing her messages by having Jerry
switch the tape out of her machine, while he distracts her.
Jerry and his girlfriend have a disagreement about TV commercial
for pants commercial and his telling his friends about their
conflict.
b:
13 Feb 91 pc: 207 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
- "The
Apartment"
gs: Tony Plana [ Manny ], Glenn
Shadix [ Harold ], Jeanine Jackson [ Roxanne ], Leslie
Neale [ Rita ], Theresa Randle [ Janice ], Patricia Amaye
Thomson [ Susie ], Melody Ryane [ Joanne ], David Blackwood
[ Stan ]
Kramer
tries mousse in his hair. Jerry gets Elaine an opportunity
to get the apartment right above him, before he realizes
the possible implications. George tests the "man with a wedding
band" theory of meeting women.
b:
4 Apr 91 pc: 208 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Statue"
gs: Michael D. Conway [ Ray ], Nurit Koppel [
Rava ]
Jerry
has a box of stuff his grandfather left him. Inside is an
interesting looking statue that could replace one George's
parents had years ago, but he broke. George plans to pick
the statue up later but in the meantime he tells his parents
about the replacement statue. Meanwhile the boyfriend of
a bitter Finnish author (whose latest work Elaine is going
to edit) is going to clean Jerry's apartment. When Jerry
returns to his apartment it is cleaned beyond reason. Later
when Jerry and Elaine are at the author's apartment, they
see the statue on her mantelpiece. Getting it back may jeopardize
Elaine's chance at being an editor, but save George from
his parent's wrath.
b:
11 Apr 91 pc: 210 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Revenge"
gs: Fred Applegate [
Levitan ], John Capodice [ Vic ], Teri Austin [ Ava ],
Patrika Darbo [ Glenda ], Marcus Smythe [ Dan ], John Hillner
[ Greeny ], Deck McKenzie [ Bill ], Larry David [ Voice
of Newman (uncredited) ]
rc: Newman
(uncredited voice only in syndicated reruns (see note))
George
quits his job in a huff after he is demoted to using the
regular bathroom. Newman tells Kramer that he plans to jump
off the building. Jerry suggests that George just go back
into work next Monday morning and pretend like nothing happened;
however, that doesn't work. Newman jumps, from the second
floor. George plots revenge, and with Elaine's help, tries
to slip his boss "a Mickey." Jerry suspects that his launderer
is a larcenist after he discovers that $1500 he had stashed
in his laundry bag is missing. Kramer helps Jerry get revenge
by bringing a bag of concrete in to put into one of the wash
machines.
b:
18 Apr 91 pc: 212 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: While
thinking about new career opportunities, George mentions
that he might get a job working for a sports team, something
he'll realize later. Newman, whom we never see, is said to
be unemployed; however, later in the series we learn he is
a postal worker. For the syndicated rerun, Wayne Knight supplies
the voice of the never seen Newman. For the original network
broadcasts Larry David provided the voice for Newman.
- "The
Heart Attack"
gs: Stephen Tobolowsky [ Tor ], John Posey [ Dr.
Fein ], John Fleck [ Attendant ], Jimmy Woodward [ Driver
], Pat Hazell [ Man in Other Bed ], Sharon McKnight [ The
Nurse ], Thomas Wagner [ The Cook ], Heather James [ The
Waitress ]
George
thinks he's had a heart attack. The doctor tells him otherwise,
but he might want to get his tonsils and adenoids removed.
Elaine is interested in the doctor and he is interested in
her tongue. George not wanting to deal with the cost, follows
Kramer's suggestion of going to a holistic healer. The healer's
cure turns George purple and the ride to the hospital is
delayed over a Chuckle.
b:
25 Apr 91 pc: 211 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Deal"
gs: Siobhan Fallon [ Tina ], Norman Brenner [
Clerk ]
Jerry
and Elaine are watching TV late at night and stumble across "naked
people" and that gets them both discussing whether they could
have a relationship and not jeopardize their friendship.
George says it can't be done, but Jerry and Elaine devise "a
system"; however, it develops a little trouble when her birthday
comes along.
b:
2 May 91 pc: 213 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Baby Shower"
gs: Christine Dunford [ Leslie ], Vic Polizos
[ Tabachnik ], James Lashly [ Assistant ], Margaret Reed
[ Mary ], George C. Simms [ FBI Man ], Marla Fries [ Stewardess
], Don Perry [ Passenger ], Kate Mulligan [ Party Guest
], Audrey Frantz [ Party Guest ]
Elaine
needs to use Jerry's apartment to hold a baby shower for
a woman that once dated George. George reflects that she
was "unequivocally the worst date of my life." Jerry has
to go out of town for a show, so he lets Elaine use the apartment.
Kramer sells Jerry on the idea on getting an illegal cable
hookup. The party begins. The cable guys come to install
the hookup. Jerry's show gets canceled, so he returns to
the apartment with George (who's prepared to confront the
bad date). Jerry is the victim of his own confrontation.
b:
16 May 91 pc: 204 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Chinese Restaurant"
gs: James Hong [ Bruce
], David Tress [ Mr. Cohen ], Judy Kain [ Lorraine ], Kate
Benton [ Woman on Phone ], Michael Mitz [ Phone Guy ],
Kendall McCarthy [ Man ]
Jerry,
Elaine and George stop for a quick Chinese dinner before
a showing of Plan
9 From Outer Space on the big screen. However,
while waiting a really long time to get a table, Jerry sees
a woman whose name he can't recall; George needs to use a
phone he can't have and Elaine needs food, more than those
seated ahead of them.
b:
23 May 91 pc: 206 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Danny Lee notes that Jerry mentions in this episode that
he has a sister. I wonder what ever happened to her?
- "The
Busboy"
gs: David Labiosa [ Antonio ], Doug
Ballard [ Eddie ], John Del Regno [ Manager ]
George
inadvertently meddles in the life of a busboy, by getting
him fired. He tries to rectify things; however, he winds
up compounding them by losing the busboy's cat. Elaine discovers
that a week is much too long to have a house guest. She does
everything in her power to get him out. The busboy's life
is saved and made for the better after his involvement with
George, until he meets Elaine's house guest.
b:
26 Jun 91 pc: 203 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
3rd
Season 1991
- "The
Note"
gs: Ralph Bruneau [ Lloyd ], Terri Hanauer [ Julianna
], Jeff Lester [ Raymond ], Flo Di Re [ Receptionist ],
Liz Georges [ Pam ], Paul Rogers [ Man in Waiting Room
], Dale Raoul [ Dental Patient ], Joshua Liebling [ Billy
]
Physical
therapy proves painful for Jerry when his small talk with
his therapist leads to a misunderstanding. Jerry uses his
dentist friend, Roy, to write a note so that insurance will
cover therapy for George and Elaine. Then, George's paranoia
about men comes into play when he gets a massage from a man
and later says "I think it moved." Kramer thinks he has seen
DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose
his license in an insurance fraud investigation.
b:
18 Sep 91 pc: 301 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Truth"
gs: Valerie Mahaffey [
Patrice ], Siobhan Fallon [ Tina ]
George's
relationship with a former IRS worker may ease Jerry's tax
audit worries- until she becomes his former girlfriend. She
wants to know why, so he tells her the truth, this was after
he gave her Jerry's tax records. Elaine sees far too much
of Kramer, he's dating her roommate; in return he saw far
too much of her, in fact all of her. George tries to get
Jerry's tax records back, but he finds she gone into a depression
clinic.
b:
25 Sep 91 pc: 302 w: Elaine Pope d: David Steinberg
NOTE: According
to viewer Jerry Balsam, George first mentions that he has
driven women to lesbianism before, something we'll get to
experience in "The Smelly Car."
- "The
Pen"
gs: Ann Morgan Guilbert [
Evelyn ], Annie Korzen [ Doris Klompus ], Magda Harout
[ Stella ], Roger Nolan [ The Chiropractor ], Tucker Smallwood
[ The Photographer ]
rc: Morty,
Helen, Uncle Leo, Klompus
Elaine
regrets accompanying Jerry on a trip to Florida to visit
his parents. There are temperature control problems in the
condo, a back breaking sofa bed, a slight overdose of muscle
relaxants and the disposition of a pen that writes upside
down.
b:
2 Oct 91 pc: 305 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Dog"
gs: Joseph Maher [
Gavin ], Tom Williams [ Bark of the Dog ], Marvin Wright-Bey
[ Attendant #1 ], Kelly Wellman [ Attendant #2 ]
Jerry
is watching an unruly dog, for a fellow airline passenger
who's sick in a hospital somewhere in Chicago. Jerry, can't
leave his apartment, that leaves George and Elaine alone
together. They find they have little to say to each other
without their conversational third, Jerry; so they talk about
him. Kramer tries breaking up with his girlfriend. Jerry
can't locate the dogs owner, who was released from the hospital,
some time ago.
b:
9 Oct 91 pc: 303 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Library"
gs: Philip Baker Hall [ Lt. Bookman ], Ashley
Gardener [ Marion ], Harris Shore [ Mr. Lippman ], Cynthia
Szigeti [ Sandy ], Biff Yeager [ Heyman ], Neal Lerner
[ The "Shusher" ], Marie Barrientos [ The Receptionist
]
The library
asks Jerry about a book he checked out in 1971 and never
returned, so Jerry looks up an old girlfriend for his defense
against a library cop. George thinks the homeless man he'd
seen outside the library is a former gym high school gym
teacher that he got fired. Kramer has his eye on a librarian.
Elaine worries about her career when her boss hates the recommendations
she made.
b:
16 Oct 91 pc: 304 w: Larry Charles d: Joshua White
NOTE: According
to viewer Jeffrey Abucay, Marion the Librarian says that
Mr. Bookman has been working at the library for 25 years,
however Lt. Bookman himself states that 1971 was his first
year on the job, which would mean he's been working at the
library for twenty years, not twenty five.
Jeff Holland
notes that this episode features the appearance of the "infamous" green
bike. Why is it infamous?
Viewer
Bill Watson notes that people often forget, myself included,
about Harris Shore's only appearance as Mr. Lippman. Richard
Fancy assumes that role beginning in the "The Red Dot."
- "The
Parking Garage"
gs: David Dunard [ Security Guard ], Cynthia Ettinger
[ Michele ], Gregory Daniel [ Man in Corvette ], Carlyle
King [ The Mother ], Adam Wylie [ The Kid ], Joe Farago
[ Man With Woman ], Ron Evans [ Bodybuilder ], Tucker Smallwood
[ Man in Mercedes ]
Everyone
separates to try to find the car in a huge parking garage.
Jerry needs the use of a bathroom so he finds a place to
go and gets busted. Elaine tries to get help from people
passing by. George joins Jerry in getting busted. Kramer
is wearing "the jacket," and forgets where he put down the
air conditioner he was carrying and causes George to be real
late for his parent's 47th anniversary.
b:
30 Oct 91 pc: 306 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Kyle Westphal notes that Kramer parks in Purple 23. This
happens to be the 23rd episode. Another viewer, Kyle Matschke
notes that Kramer put the air conditioner down in Purple
23 and Jerry peed in Yellow 14.
- "The
Cafe"
gs: Brian George [
Babu Bhatt ], Dawn Arnemann [ Monica ]
Jerry
tries helping the owner of a small restaurant attract customers
by giving him a suggestion. George must take an IQ test for
his latest girlfriend, so Elaine helps him in "a caper" where
she takes the test for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's
ex-boyfriend's jacket, because it helps him meet women; however
the ex-boyfriend comes looking for it.
b:
6 Nov 91 pc: 307 w: Tom Leopold d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Tape"
gs: John Apicella [ Repairman ], Ping Wu [ Delivery
Boy (Ping) ], Norman Brenner [ Beder ]
George
is excited about a new potential baldness cure that was discovered
in China. While listening to a tape of his previous nights
show, Jerry hears the voice of a mysterious woman who talks
dirty into his tape recorder and everyone becomes excited
by the voice. Elaine shines in an entirely new light for
George when he is let in on the her secret, she's the voice.
He is later driven crazy when she plays around with him while
goofing around in front of Kramer's new video recorder. George
tries the bald cure. Kramer searches for the jacket.
b:
13 Nov 91 pc: 308 w: Larry David and Bob Shaw & Don
McEnery d: David Steinberg
- "The
Nose Job"
gs: Susan Diol [ Audrey ], Roy Brocksmith [ Landlord
], Tawny Kitaen [
Isabel ], Joseph V. Perry [ Newsstand Owner ], David Blackwood
[ Interviewer ]
Jerry's
brain and penis play chess against one another to decide
whether he should keep dating a vacuous model with whom the "sex
is great" but not anything else. George is dating a woman
with a big nose, Kramer tells her it like it is and she gets
a nose job; however, there is a complication. Kramer gets
Elaine to help him retrieve the jacket.
b:
20 Nov 91 pc: 309 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Stranded"
gs: Michael Chiklis [
Steve ], Teri Austin [ Ava ], Bobbi Jo Lathan [ Patti ],
Gwen Shepherd [ Cashier ], Dwayne Kennedy [ Frank ], Marcia
Firesten [ Jenny ], Michael Milhoan [ Security Guard ],
John Putch [ Roy ], Melissa Weil [ Gwen ], Ellen Ratner
[ Ellen ], Frank Piazza [ Cop ]
Jerry & Elaine
go to a party with George, while there they send signals
to each other to get out of bad party conversations. Afterward,
George abandons them there, when he leaves with a co-worker
he has a chance with. Jerry & Elaine keeping the hosts
up real late, while waiting for Kramer to come and pick them
up. The host later takes Jerry up on his offer to drop by
when he is in the city, just as Jerry is leaving. He stays
in Jerry's apartment for the evening and parties with Kramer
and a lady of the evening. Later George pays the price for
his romance in the workplace (he must quit) and he tries
to shoplift at the drug store where he says they still owe
him ten dollars.
b:
27 Nov 91 pc: 209 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld and
Matt Goldman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: This
episode was originally going to be broadcast during the second
season on 17 Jul 91. Jerry comes on before the broadcast
of this episode and explains that it is from the time before
George lost his job and he wanted to "let you know, that
we know, you know."
Viewer
Jeff Holland notes that one of George's co-workers says she
just sold a property at 129 W. 81 St.; that of course is
the building where Jerry, Kramer and Newman live.
- "The
Alternate Side"
gs: Jay Brooks [ Sid ], Janet Zarish [ Rental
Car Agent ], Edward Penn [ Owen March ], Jeff Barton [
Paramedic ]
Jerry's
car is stolen and the criminal picks up his car phone. George
decides to take a fill-in job moving cars from one side of
the street to the other; this turns into a disaster for local
traffic flow. Kramer gets a chance to do a line in a Woody
Allen film; "these pretzels are making me thirsty." Elaine
gets tired of her 66-year-old boyfriend and when she is about
to break up with him, he has what might be a heart attack
or something.
b:
4 Dec 91 pc: 310 w: Larry David and Bill Masters d: Tom
Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Burton Reibling notes that while Kramer almost got his line
in Woddy's film. Julia Louis-Dreyfus has a single line in Hannah and
Her Sisters. In her scene Woody Allen arrives
at work (he is working at a television network), and Julia
says, "Mickey, we have half an hour until airtime." She delivers
this line about 10 - 15 minutes into the film, and about
a minute later John Turturro also has a line.
Viewer
Kevin Hercules notes the following blooper: Jerry is driving
a BMW. In a BMW, the defroster is on the top of the vent
positions. Jerry tells the guy that stole his car that it
is on the bottom. In the yet another blooper category, viewer
Jeff Holland notes that George moves fast. In an editing
blooper in one shot he is across the room by the window.
In the next shot, he is in the kitchen behind Jerry. He also
notes the irony, that Jason has the side job as "Pretzel
Boy" when George utters the line "these pretzels are making
me thirsty."
Jeff Holland
also notes that Jerry's car phone number 555-8383 is used
in a later episode as his home number.
- "The
Red Dot"
gs: David Naughton [
Dick ], Bridget Sienna [ Evie (Cleaning Woman) ], Rachel
Davies [ Saleswoman ]
rc: Lippman
Jerry
is the unwitting cause of Elaine's boyfriend falling off
the wagon. Elaine gets George a job, so he buys her a gift,
an $85 cashmere sweater. The sweater has a little red dot
on it; hence the price. Elaine gives it back, then George
gives it to the cleaning woman, to keep her quiet about them
having sex on his desk. George gets fired.
b:
11 Dec 91 pc: 311 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Subway"
gs: Ernie Sabella [
Naked Man ], Barbara Stock [ Scam Woman ], Rhoda Gemignani
[ Woman with Elaine ], Mark Boone Junior [ OTB Patron ],
Christopher Collins [ Thug ], Barry Vigon [ Player #1 ],
Joe Restivo [ Player #2 ], Daryl Roach [ Violinist/Cop
], Chet Nelson [ Kid ]
Everyone
has an uncommon experience while going their separate ways
on the subway. George meets a beautiful woman who distracts
him from his intended destination, a job interview. Jerry
falls asleep and then wakes up across from a fat naked man
and winds up discussing with him, the New York Mets & Coney
Island. Elaine's train stops in the middle of a tunnel on
her way to be best man at a lesbian wedding. Kramer overhears
a hot tip on a horse on his way to pay $600 in traffic violations.
b:
8 Jan 92 pc: 313 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Pez Dispenser"
gs: Elizabeth Morehead [ Noel ], Fred Sanders
[ John ], Bill Applebaum [ D'Giff ], Allen Bloomfield [
Polar Bear ], Chris Barnes [ Richie ], Steve Kehela [ Intervenor
], Kate Benton [ Roberta ]
Kramer
joins the "Polar Bear Club." Jerry gets one of Kramer's Pez
dispensers which makes Elaine laugh during a piano recital
of George's girlfriend, and that puts their relationship
in jeopardy. Kramer has an idea for a cologne that smells
like the beach and suggests that George make a preemptive
breakup with his girlfriend, that will give him the "upper
hand." The Pez dispenser has a remarkable effect during a
drug confrontation.
b:
15 Jan 92 pc: 314 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Suicide"
gs: Gina Gallego [ Gina ], Mimi Lieber [ Rula
], C.E. Grimes [ Martin ], Howard Schecter [ Doctor ],
Aimee Aro [ Faithy ], Peggy Lane O'Rourke [ Nurse ]
rc: Newman
Elaine
needs to fast before an x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself
three days before the test. After his neighbor Martin tries
suicide, Jerry is hit on by his girlfriend, Gina, while at
the hospital. A psychic warns George to cancel his vacation
to the Cayman Islands, but never can tell George why. Jerry
becomes worried when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him
with Gina. Elaine starts hallucinating from hunger. Everything
hinges on a Drake's coffee cake.
b:
29 Jan 92 pc: 312 w: Tom Leopold d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: According
to viewer Ben Houghton, Jason Alexander's mother makes a
cameo in this episode sitting on a bench next to Elaine.
Also he notes that in this episode, George mentions he has
a brother.
- "The
Fix-Up"
gs: Maggie Jakobson [ Cynthia ]
After
selling each other on the idea, Jerry and Elaine sell George
and Elaine's friend on a blind date, then they await the
results. They promise to keep each other updated with "full
disclosure," though that doesn't happen. There also may be
a problem with a defective condom. "My boys can swim!"
b:
5 Feb 92 pc: 317 w: Elaine Pope & Larry Charles d:
Tom Cherones
- "The
Boyfriend (1) (a.k.a. The New Friend (1))"
gs: Keith Hernandez [ Himself ], Rae Allen [ Mrs.
(Lenore) Sokol ], Richard Assad [ Cabbie ]
rc: Newman
Jerry
meets Keith Hernandez and wants to make a good impression.
Meanwhile, George is out of time on his unemployment and
he works harder than ever on his scheme to get a 13 week
extension. He tells the unemployment office he was really
close on Vandelay Industries, a company that makes latex
products and whose main office is Jerry's apartment. Kramer
and Newman hate Hernandez back to a time when they were allegedly
spit on by him; however, Jerry supports the "second-spitter
theory." Keith asks Jerry about Elaine's status. Keith makes
a date with her and breaks a date with Jerry.
b:
12 Feb 92 pc: 315 w: Larry David and Larry Levin d: Tom
Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. The name Vandelay
is used again, this time as a company. Devoted Internet fans
of the show decide the company's name will be used for their
electronic mailing list.
- "The
Boyfriend (2) (a.k.a. The New Friend:
Of Mastodons and Men (2))"
gs: Keith Hernandez [ Himself ], Rae Allen [ Mrs.
(Lenore) Sokol ], Carol Ann Susi [ Carrie ], Lisa Mende
[ Carol ], Roger McDowell [ Himself ], Stephen Prutting
[ Michael ], Richard Assad [ Cabbie ], Melanie Good [ Woman
]
rc: Newman
George
tries two more approaches with the unemployment officer.
Kramer gets Jerry to accompany him to see a former neighbors'
new baby, "you got to see the baby." Though he's gone out
with Keith once, does that mean he must help him move. Elaine
and Keith are hitting it off until he pulls out a cigarette.
George wants to sleep with a really tall woman. Keith supports
the "second spitter theory." Jerry and Elaine both breakup
with Keith and George might get his wish.
b:
12 Feb 92 pc: 316 w: Larry David and Larry Levin d: Tom
Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. Viewer Biff Hooper
notes that when George runs out of the bathroom to tell Kramer
to say "Vandelay Industries," he falls and drops his paper
to the right of where he lies. Then, in the shot from Jerry's
view, the paper has moved to George's left!
- "The
Limo"
gs: Peter Krause [ Tim ], Suzanne Snyder [
Eva ], Jeremy Roberts [ Chauffeur ], Jodi Baskerville [
Herself ], I.M. Hobson [ Businessman
], Harley Venton [ Dan ], Adam Leslie [ Man at Protest
], Norman Brenner [ Man at Airport ], Aaron Kanarek [ Protester
#1 ], Ray Glanzmann [ Protester #2 ]
On a whim,
Jerry and George take a limo from a passenger that Jerry
knows never made it on the plane. While taking the limo they
call Elaine & Kramer to join them for an event at Madison
Square Garden, but it isn't the type of event they were hoping
for.
b:
26 Feb 92 pc: 318 w: Larry Charles s: Marc Jaffe d: Tom
Cherones
NOTE: A
rare episode, where Jerry's apartment is not featured.
- "The
Good Samaritan"
gs: Melinda McGraw [
Angela ], Ann Talman [ Robin ], Joseph Malone [ Michael
], Helen Slater [
Becky Gelke (uncredited) ]
Jerry
tracks down a hit-and-run driver, then he wants to date her,
after dating her he finds out she hit another woman he's
always wanted to date. George has an affair with Elaine's
friend. Kramer has violent reactions to Mary Hart's voice.
b:
4 Mar 92 pc: 319 w: Peter Mehlman d: Jason Alexander
- "The
Letter"
gs: Catherine Keener [ Nina ], Richard Venture
[ Leonard West ], Elliott Reid [ Mr. Armstrong ], Justine
Johnston [ Mrs. Armstrong ], Shashawnee Hall [ Usher ]
rc: Lippman
Kramer
poses for a painting, that an elderly couple becomes just
crazy about. George feels obligated to buy something when
he accompanies Jerry to his new girlfriend's art studio.
Elaine wears an Orioles baseball cap in the owner's box at
Yankee Stadium and refuses to remove it. Jerry finds out
his new girlfriend is a plagiarist after he hears the words
she wrote in a letter, on television. Elaine gets a chance
to return to Yankee Stadium.
b:
25 Mar 92 pc: 320 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Jeff Holland notes that Elaine comments during this episode
that no one would want to watch a bris; however in "The Bris" that is just what she and Jerry do!
- "The
Parking Space"
gs: Lee Arenberg [
Mike Moffit ], Jay Brooks [ Sid ], Maryedith Burrell [
Maryedith ], Shannon Cochran [ Sheila ], Zachary Charles
[ Angry Man ], Michael A. Costanza [ Truck Driver ], Mik
Scriba [ Cop #1 ], Stan Sellers [ Cop #2 ], John Christian
Graas [ Matthew ], Peggy Lane O'Rourke [ Bystander #1 ],
Steven Marcus Gibbs [ Bystander #2 ]
rc: Newman
Kramer
tells Jerry about something his friend Mike said about Jerry
being "a phony." After borrowing Jerry's car, Elaine comes
up with a wild story, because the car is now making a strange
clanking noise. George gets into a confrontation with Mike
about a parking space in front of Jerry's apartment. Everyone
one the street debates about parking etiquette.
b:
22 Apr 92 pc: 322 w: Larry David & Greg Daniels d:
Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Fabio Sciola notes that this is the episode where George
mentions again that he has a brother. However, he hasn't
mentioned this brother since this episode. At least that
I am aware of.
- "The
Keys"
gs: Nina Tremblay [ Jerry's Girlfriend ], Eric
Allan Kramer [ Biker ], Ricky Dean Logan [ Hippie #1 ],
Sharon Barr [ Trucker ], Maud Winchester [ Hippie #2 ],
Heather James [ Waitress ], Carissa Channing [ Kramer's
Girlfriend ], Candice Bergen [
Herself (as Murphy Brown) ]
rc: Newman
Kramer
invades Jerry's life too much, so Jerry revokes his spare
key privileges. Realizing that he has broken the "covenant
of the keys" gives Kramer the realization he is now free
to come out of the shadows. Kramer takes off for California
to follow his acting dream. Jerry gave his spare keys to
Elaine, then when he needs them, he goes with George to Elaine's
(who has her keys) to search for his spare set. What they
find is Elaine's show-biz project. Kramer finds adventure
as he journeys across the country to LA where he gets a famous
bit part on Murphy Brown.
b:
6 May 92 pc: 321 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
4th
Season 1992
- "The
Trip (1)"
gs: Peter Murnik [ Lt. Martel ], Elmarie Wendel
[ Helene ], Debi A. Monahan [ Chelsea ], Ricky Dean Logan
[ The Freak ], Vaughn Armstrong [ Lt. Coleman ], Keith
Morrison [ Newscaster (Himself) ], Manfred Melcher [ Officer
], Christopher Michael Moore [ Studio Guard ], Dyana Ortelli
[ Chambermaid (Lupe) ], Michael Gerard [ Receptionist ], Fred
Savage [ Himself ], George Wendt [
Himself ], Corbin
Bernsen [ Himself ]
rc:
With Elaine
in Europe, Jerry asks George to accompany him on a trip to
LA and The Tonight Show; while there they will
try to locate Kramer. While auditioning, Kramer must deal
with the advances of an older female landlord (an actress
who hasn't worked since 1934) and get someone in Hollywood
to read his script treatment. A body is discovered; the victim,
a young woman, was strangled. Kramer meets a woman at an
audition and he gives her a copy of his script. Jerry loses
the correct phrasing for some new jokes and George tries
to get Lupe, the chambermaid, to make his bed just right.
At The Tonight Show, George disturbs the guests
and Jerry bombs. The woman Kramer gave the script to is strangled
and his script is found in her possession. Kramer's face
is shown on the news as the prime suspect for the "Smog Strangler," a
serial-killer.
b:
12 Aug 92 pc: 401 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Trip (2)"
gs: Peter Murnik [ Lt. Martel ], Elmarie Wendel
[ Helene ], Marty Rackham [ Officer #1 ], Peter Parros
[ Officer #2 ], Vaughn Armstrong [ Lt. Coleman ], Clint Howard [
Tobias Lehigh Nagy ], Steve Greenstein [ Man ], Kerry Leigh
Michaels [ Woman ], Keith Morrison [ Newscaster (Himself)
], Peggy Lane O'Rourke [ Reporter #1 ], Deck McKenzie [
Reporter #2 ], Steve Dougherty [ Prison Guard ]
Jerry
and George try to contact the police to tell them Kramer
is innocent. Kramer still doesn't know he's wanted. Jerry
and George get a ride in a police car and while en route
the officers pick up a possible 519. The 519 suspect is put
in the back of the car with George and Jerry and they ask
him tipping advice. Then all units are called in on Kramer's
building, Jerry and George leave the police car door open
and the 519 suspect escapes. While Kramer is in for questioning,
another victim is found. He is let go and Jerry and George
want to know what he is going to do, he is going to stay
in LA. Jerry and George are back in New York and Kramer turns
up like nothings changed.
b:
19 Aug 92 pc: 402 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: The
remaining episodes in this season have a loose, but interconnecting
thread, and should be viewed in order. Of course when syndicated
the episodes are shown in anything but a logical order. Marty
Rackham will reappear as Elaine's exclamation point avoiding
boyfriend, Jake Jarmel, in "The Sniffing Accountant". He will return as Jake in two more
episodes.
Viewer
Jeff Holland notes that the hotel the Kramer stays in, is
the same one that Julia
Roberts stays at in Pretty Woman.
- "The
Pitch"
gs: Kevin Page [ Stu ], Stephen McHattie [
Psychiatrist (Dr. Reston) ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Julie
Blum [ Receptionist ], Steve Skrovan [
Tommy ], Ron Ross [ Homeless Man ]
rc: Newman,
Russell, Susan, "Crazy" Joe
NBC executives
ask Jerry to come up with an idea for a TV series. George
decides he can be a sitcom writer and comes up with "nothing." Kramer
trades a radar detector for a helmet, later Newman gets a
speeding ticket. While waiting to meet the NBC executives,
George and Jerry meet Joe Davola, a writer and "a total nut" who
goes to the same shrink as Elaine. Jerry searching for conversation,
mentions Kramer's party, whereto Joe wasn't invited. While
discussing the disaster of the meeting with NBC, George focuses
on starting a relationship with the female NBC executive.
Kramer shows his approval by throwing up on her. The helmet
saves Kramer from an attack by "Crazy" Joe Davola. While
all this is going on Elaine is in Europe with her shrink.
b:
16 Sep 92 pc: 403 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
The character
of Russell (Dalrimple) is based on NBC executive Warren Littlefield.
This is a role Bob Balaban was born to play as he did show
in the late night talk show wars movie called The Late Shift.
- "The
Ticket"
gs: Kevin Page [ Stu ], Steve Eastin [ Cop #1
], David Graf [ Cop #2 ], Al Fann [ Judge ], Stephen McHattie
[ Psychiatrist (Dr. Reston) ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Julie
Blum [ Receptionist ]
rc: Newman,
Russell, Susan, Uncle Leo
Kramer
suffers side effects from his head injury. NBC gives Jerry
and George another meeting and on the way, Jerry throws out
a watch his parents gave him. He then meets his Uncle Leo,
who picks the watch out of the garbage. Kramer agrees to
be an alibi for Newman's trial on a speeding ticket. George
and Jerry meet with NBC executives and they give the go ahead
for a pilot. Later they hide in the coffee shop, afraid of
an attack from "Crazy" Joe. Elaine's shrink realizes that
he didn't leave an extra prescription for Joe Davola, for
the time while he's on vacation.
b:
16 Sep 92 pc: 404 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Wallet (1)"
gs: Stephen McHattie [ Dr. Reston ], David Sage
[ Dr. Dembrow ], Susan Ilene Johnson [ Nurse ], Denise
Dowse [ Receptionist ], Brian Leckner [ Attendant ]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Uncle Leo, Susan
Jerry's
parents come to town to see a back specialist, they hear
about "Crazy" Joe not liking Jerry and ask about the watch
they gave him. George "negotiates" the deal with the NBC
and gets a box of cigars from Susan's father. While at the
doctor's office Morty's wallet is "stolen". Elaine returns
from her trip and tries to end her relationship with her
shrink. The deal with NBC is lost.
b:
23 Sep 92 pc: 405 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Watch (2)"
gs: Stephen McHattie [ Dr. Reston ], Jessica Lundy
[ Naomi ], Christopher Carroll [ Maitre d' ], Lewis Dauber
[ Doorman ], Mimi Craven [ Cynthia ]
rc: Morty,
Helen, Russell, Uncle Leo, Susan, "Crazy" Joe
Jerry
has dinner with his parents and Uncle Leo. Women, who's paying
and the watch are all discussed. Elaine uses Kramer as "her
boyfriend" in trying to fool her shrink. George gets Russell's
address and tries to get the pilot reinstated. Jerry tries
to buy back the watch. Outside her shrink's office, Elaine
meets "Crazy" Joe, whom she begins to date.
b:
30 Sep 92 pc: 406 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Bubble Boy"
gs: Jessica Lundy [
Naomi ], Brian Doyle-Murray [
Mel ], Carol Mansell [ Mother ], O-lan Jones [ Waitress
], Jon Hayman [ Voice and Arm of Donald ], George Gerdes
[ Man #1 ], Tony Pappenfuss [ Man #2 ]
rc: Susan
Jerry's
girlfriend, Naomi has a laugh that sounds like "Elmer Fudd
sitting on a juicer," and when she hears George's message
to Jerry, she breaks up with him. So instead, Jerry asks
Elaine to accompany him on a trip to a cabin in the mountain
with George and Susan. Kramer isn't invited. Jerry agrees
to a side trip to visit a sick fan, a "Bubble Boy." George
gets into a fight with the "Bubble Boy" over the correct
answer to a Trivial Pursuit question. Kramer
and Naomi also make the trip to the cabin and get the fire
started.
b:
7 Oct 92 pc: 407 w: Larry David & Larry Charles d:
Tom Cherones
NOTE: The Trivial
Pursuit question mentioned is an actual error that
was discovered in one of the question sets.
- "The
Cheever Letters"
gs: Warren Frost [
Mr. Henry Ross ], Grace Zabriskie [
Mrs. Ross ], Lisa Malkiewicz [ Sandra ], Miguel Perez [
Luis ], Vanessa Marquez [ Receptionist ], Timothy Omundson
[ Ricky Ross ], Patricia Lee Willson [ Sara Ross ], David
Blackwood [ Doorman ]
rc: Susan
Jerry
and George begin to work on the pilot for the series they
pitched to NBC. Jerry says the wrong thing while "messing" around
with one of Elaine's co-workers. George & Susan tell
her father about the cabin fire, he becomes distraught and
letters saved from the fire soon explain why. Kramer goes
to the Cuban Embassy in search of cigars and makes a deal.
b:
28 Oct 92 pc: 408 w: Larry David s: Larry David and Elaine
Pope & Tom Leopold d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Warren
Frost and Grace Zabriskie both appeared on David Lynch and
Mark Frost's series Twin Peaks. Another Twin
Peaks cast member joins Grace and Warren in an appearance
in "The Rye".
- "The
Opera"
gs: Ross Evans [ Mr. Reichman ], Hariet S. Miller
[ Mrs. Reichman ], Bill Saluga [ Usher
], Tom Celli [ Man #1 ], Jason Wingreen [ Man #2 ], Glen
Chin [ Man #3 ]
rc: "Crazy" Joe,
Susan
"Crazy" Joe
leaves Jerry a message saying he will put the "kibosh" on
him. Kramer has tickets for the opera, Pagliacci,
and everyone is going including Elaine and her boyfriend "Crazy" Joe.
Elaine drops in on Joe's apartment and is she surprised by
what she discovers, so she maces him with cherry Binaca and
ends their relationship. Susan can't attend, so George tries
to scalp her ticket. Joe, a big fan of Pagliacci, comes to
the opera in clown garb; Elaine and Jerry attend together
not realizing their different estranged relationships with
Joe.
b:
4 Nov 92 pc: 409 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Bill
Saluga is best remembered for a character he played in Vegas
and on variety television. That character was Raymond J.
Johnson Jr.. "Oh you don't have to call me Johnson.
Now my name is Raymond J. Johnson Jr. You can call me Ray
or you can call me...". You get the idea! Also in
the late '70s, Bill released a disco album called "Disco
Johnson."
- "The
Virgin"
gs: Anne Twomey [ Rita ], Jane Leeves [ Marla
], Kevin Page [ Stu ], Ping Wu [ Ping ], Leah Lail [ Stacy
], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Derya Ruggles [ Woman in Bar ],
Dayna Winston [ Carol ], Julie Blum [ Receptionist ]
rc: Susan
After
much procrastination, George and Jerry strain to think of
an idea for their TV series a few hours before a meeting
with NBC executives. Jerry finds out a girl he once met is
still a virgin, and later Elaine educates her about men after
sex. George wants to end his relationship with Susan so he
can exploit his writing profession as a pick-up line. Elaine
runs into a Chinese delivery boy. Kramer watches too much
television.
b:
11 Nov 92 pc: 410 w: Peter Mehlman s: Peter Mehlman and Peter Farrelly & Bob
Farrelly d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Following
the broadcast of this episode Michael Richards played Kramer
on an episode of Mad About You. It starred Paul
Reiser & Helen
Hunt. In the episode called "The Apartment," Reiser must
get rid of his old apartment, that it seems Kramer has been
subletting from him. However, in the first episode of the
seventh season, George and Susan are seen watching and commenting
on an episode of Mad About
You. See also the NOTE associated with "Good News, Bad News."
- "The
Contest"
gs: Jane Leeves [ Marla ], Ilana Levine [ Joyce
], Rachel Sweet [ Shelly ], Andrea Parker [ Nurse ]
rc: Estelle
George's
mother throws her back out when she falls down after catching
him doing "you know." When George says he'll never do it
again, Jerry challenges him to a contest of self-denial,
when he accepts, Elaine and Kramer want in on the action,
or rather the lack of it.
b:
18 Nov 92 pc: 411 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Tom
Cherones won the Director's Guild of America Award for
this episode. This episode was based on a real contest that
Larry David participated in.
- "The
Airport"
gs: Jennifer Campbell [ Tia ], Scott Burkholder
[ Prisoner ], Jim J. Bullock [ Attendant #1 ], Allan Wasserman
[ Grossbard ], Lenny Rose [ Passenger #1 ], Karen Denise
Williams [ Attendant #2 ], Annie Korzen [ Passenger #2
], Deck McKenzie [ Security Guard ], Maggie Egan [ Ticket
Clerk ], Mark Christopher Lawrence [ Sky Cap ], Jack Graiman
[ Cop ], William Evan Masters [ Driver ]
When their
flight home gets canceled, Jerry & Elaine gets on another
flight, the latter gets cramped into coach and Jerry parties
in 1st class with a model. George and Kramer go between JFK
and La Guardia to pick them up. When they settle on an airport
George meets a convict and Kramer sees a man who owes him
$240 from years ago.
b:
25 Nov 92 pc: 412 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Larry
Charles makes a cameo appearance as the guy who stinks up
the bathroom before Elaine goes in. Thanks to Greg Gattuso
for this tidbit. Greg is author of The Seinfeld Universe.
Viewer
Paul Brackett, who must work in the airline industry, notes
the following:
"They
were flying from St. Louis to JFK, then to LGA. Only TWA
flys these routes non-stop. They showed 2 ground shots
of the aircraft, and both of the ground shots were of a
Southwest airlines Boeing 737. Then they showed the plane
in flight a couple of times, both shots were of a McDonnell
Douglas DC-9. Then they showed the interior of the coach
section, in which the colors of the seats and the configuration
resembled the interior of a Delta coach plane, with 3-3
seating. Both the 737 and the DC-9 are 3-2 seating. Then
they showed the interior of the first class section, which
looked like the interior of a Continental DC-10 First class
section, based on seating arrangements and color of the
seats. One would think that folks in the TV industry would
fly enough to notice these things!"
A St.
Louis based viewer, Randy Canis notes that Jerry and Elaine
are not at the real Lambert Field. I wouldn't expect them
to be, that would be too expensive to film and only viewers
familiar with the airport would ever notice.
- "The
Pick"
gs: Jennifer Campbell [ Tia ], Gina
Hecht [ Dana Foley ], Nicholas Hormann [ Calvin ],
Tony Carlin [ Fred ], Francois Giroday [ Male Executive
], Blaire Baron [ Female Executive ], Steve Schubert [
Man in Office ]
rc: Susan,
Newman
Elaine
is humiliated when she accidentally shows a bit too much
on her Christmas card photo, that she has sent out to everyone
she knows. Jerry has a date with the model from the plane,
she later dumps Jerry because of "The Pick." George tries
to reunite with Susan, but realizes it's a mistake, and uses "The
Pick". Kramer goes to Calvin Klein to complain about "The
Ocean," a fragrance they stole from him, and is asked to
pose for a risqué underwear advertisement.
b:
16 Dec 92 pc: 413 w: Larry David s: Larry David and Marc
Jaffe d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Movie"
gs: Barry Diamond [ Buckles ], Perry Anzilotti
[ Usher ], Tom La Grua [ Kernis
], Eric Poppick [ Maurice ], Cathy Lind Hayes [ Woman Behind
Elaine ], Allan Kolman [ Cab Driver ], Molly Cleator [
Cashier ], Christie Mellor [ Concessionaire ], Jeff Norman
[ Man in Line ], Paul Eisenhauer [ Man in Theatre ], Montrose
Hagins [ Woman in Theatre ]
Jerry
tries to make two show dates and afterwards go to the movie
theater to meet everyone. George gets in the wrong line for
tickets. George, Elaine & Kramer decide to go to another
theater to see the movie. Kramer waits outside for Jerry
but also wants a hot dog. Jerry misses his first show, then
goes to movie theater to tell everyone he won't make the
movie, but no one is there. Through a comedy of errors, everyone
(but Kramer) misses the movie, they were originally going
to see.
b:
6 Jan 93 pc: 415 w: Steve Skrovan & Bill Masters & Jon
Hayman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: According
to viewer Jim Gilhooly, writer Steve Skrovan appears in an
uncredited cameo as the man with the white hat that sits
next to Elaine at the movie.
- "The
Visa"
gs: Brian George [ Babu Bhatt ], Maggie Han [
Cheryl ], Ping Wu [ Ping ], John Hamelin [ Babu's Brother
], Gerry Bednob [ Babu's Friend ]
George
meets a Chinese female lawyer who thinks he is real funny;
so he tells Jerry not to be funny around her, but she becomes
attracted to this. Kramer returns early from baseball fantasy
camp, where he accidentally punched Mickey Mantle. A mix-up
with Jerry's mail causes Babu to be arrested for not renewing
his visa. Jerry tries to get the lawyer to help Babu, but
George's honesty when his relationship is threatened causes
Babu to be deported and Elaine to still be sued by the delivery
boy she hit.
b:
27 Jan 93 pc: 414 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Shoes"
gs: Gina Hecht [ Dana (Foley) ], Anita Barone
[ Gail Cunningham ], Michael Ornstein [ Waiter ], Denise
Lee Richards [ Molly ]
rc: Russell
Jerry
and George struggle to keep their idea for a TV series alive,
one of their problems is they don't know how to do the Elaine
character. Jerry meets an old girlfriend he never could kiss,
later Kramer gets the opportunity. The ex-girlfriend talks
about Elaine's shoes, mainly because she wants them. George
is caught staring at the cleavage of the daughter of the
NBC executive who is approving their script. Elaine's cleavage
provides a means to turn the tables on him.
b:
4 Feb 93 pc: 417 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Jeff Holland notes that it took Jerry and George a while
to get around to adding a female to their pilot, just like
it took Jerry and Larry to do.
- "The
Outing"
gs: Paula Marshall [
Sharon ], Kari Coleman [ Allison ], Anthony Mangano [ Sailor
], Ben Reed [ Male Nurse ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Manager
], Charley Garrett [ Man #1 ], Deck McKenzie [ Scott ],
David Gibbs [ Man #2 ]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Estelle
No thanks
to Elaine, Jerry must work hard to prove he is straight when
a college reporter mistakenly reports that he and George
are gay, "not that there is anything wrong with that." Things
really get out of hand when the article is picked up by the
New York Post.
b:
11 Feb 93 pc: 416 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Jerry Balsam notes in this episode that Estelle claims to
have been helped up by the super; however, we all know that
the Costanzas live in a house in Queens.
Kyle Westphal
notes George's comment about having to wait for his girlfriend
to die. Of course, she becomes his fiancée first and then
she does die, in "The Invitations."
- "The
Old Man"
gs: Bill Erwin [ Sid
Fields ], Tobin Bell [ Ron ], Robert Donley [ Ben Cantwell
], Lanei Chapman [ Housekeeper ], Victoria Dillard [ Agency
Rep ], Jerry Hauck [ Tim ]
rc: Newman
Jerry,
Elaine & George volunteer to help the elderly. Jerry
gets assigned to a nasty old man. Elaine is repulsed by the
goiter problems of hers and George depresses his charge.
Kramer and Newman try the business of selling old records
to a used record store. Jerry loses track of his man when
they try to take him to the dentist to repair his dentures,
after the man had bitten Kramer's arm.
b:
18 Feb 93 pc: 418 w: Bruce Kirschbaum s: Larry Charles
d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Eric Scheffel notes that old man's name is Sid Fields. This
was the name of the landlord on the The
Abbott & Costello Show. Which of featured
Jerry's two favorite comedians, Bud
Abbott & Lou Costello. In
fact on 24 Nov 94, instead of an episode of Seinfeld being
on, Jerry hosted a one hour special about the duo. The special
was called Abbott & Costello Meet Jerry Seinfeld.
Viewer
Gerry Myerson notes that the other old man was named Ben
Cantwell. Baseball trivia buffs recognize this as the name
of a pitcher for the Boston Braves, who lost 25 games in
1935. No one has lost that many games in a season since then.
- "The
Implant"
gs: Teri Hatcher [
Sidra ], Megan Mullally [ Betsy ], Carol Rosenthal [ Ticket
Clerk #1 ], Donald Bishop [ Dr. Allenwood ], Tony Amendola [
Sal Bass (Rushdie) ], Kieran Mulroney [ Timmy ], Peggy
Stewart [ Aunt May ], Bruce E. Morrow [ Father Jessup ],
Susan Beaubian [ Ticket Clerk #2 ]
Jerry
dumps his girlfriend after Elaine says her figure is the
result of implants. Kramer claims to have seen Salman Rushdie
at the health club. By accident Elaine later discovers the
breasts are real. George accompanies his current girlfriend
to Detroit for her aunt's wake. While there he tries to get
a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount
on the airfare.
b:
25 Feb 93 pc: 419 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Junior Mint"
gs: Susan Walters [ Mystery Woman ], Sherman Howard [
Roy ], Victor Raider-Wexler [ Doctor ]
Jerry
has a date with a woman whose name he has forgotten, but
it "rhymes with a female body part." Could it be "Mulva"?
Elaine visits an old boyfriend who's in the hospital for
an operation; he was once fat, thin she's interested again.
Kramer gets an opportunity to witness the operation and he
drags Jerry along, while watching they have an accident with
a "Junior Mint."
b:
18 Mar 93 pc: 421 w: Andy Robin d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Her
name is... I can't tell you everything! However, if you must
know, see "The Foundation," where she returns assuming that Jerry has
grown up.
This episode
sparked a lawsuit from an employee of a company located in
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA. The employee claims that this
company allegedly used the following incident as an excuse
to fire him. He discussed this episode with a female co-worker.
She didn't get the joke. So he provided a photocopy of a
dictionary definition of the body part in question so he
wouldn't have to say it.
As a follow-up
to this story, the guy won his case, though the company plans
to appeal.
- "The
Smelly Car"
gs: Michael Des Barres [
Restaurateur ], Nick Bakay [ Carl ], Kari Coleman [ Allison
], Taylor Negron [
Hairdresser ], Courtney Gains [ Clerk ], Raf Mauro [ Car
Washer ], Viveka Davis [ Mona ], Robert Noble [ Salesman
], Patricia Place [ Wife ], Walt Beaver [ Husband ]
rc: Susan
The strong
body odor of a valet is left in Jerry's car. George can't
believe it when he spots Susan holding hands with another
woman. Elaine loses her current boyfriend and Jerry is forced
to try to sell the car, because the odor has taken a life
of its own and permeated everything. George is turned by
Susan's new outlook on life. Susan's friend is swayed to
heterosexuality by Kramer, though later turned back off by
a whiff of a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When
the car can't be sold, Jerry winds up leaving it and the
keys out on the street.
b:
15 Apr 93 pc: 422 w: Larry David & Peter Mehlman d:
Tom Cherones
- "The
Handicap Spot"
gs: John Randolph [ Frank Costanza (see NOTE)
], Richard Portnow [ Ray ], Rick Overton [
The Drake ], Nancy Lenehan [ Volunteer ], Elizabeth Dennehy
[ Allison ], Kathy Kinney [ Bystander ], Fritzi Burr [
Maj-Jongg Lady #1 ], Norma Janis [ Maj-Jongg Lady #2 ],
Ina Parker [ Maj-Jongg Lady #3 ], Marvin Braverman [ Cop
], David Blackwood [ Security Guard ], Eric Fleeks [ Kicker
], Donna Evans [ Lula ]
rc: Estelle,
Frank (U.S. syndicated rerun only)
Going
out to buy an engagement party present for "The Drake," George
parks his father's car in a handicap parking spot, after
taking Kramer's advice. An angry mob trashes the vehicle
when a disabled woman gets injured, because of the illegal
parking. While visiting the woman at the hospital, Kramer
falls in love and feels compelled to replace the wheelchair.
George becomes his father's butler after his father gets
arrested for parking in the spot.
b:
13 May 93 pc: 420 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: The
U.S. syndicated version of this episode features Jerry Stiller
in the role of Frank Costanza. Viewers overseas, still see
John Randolph in the role. The sequences were re-shot in
the spring of 1995. A role he didn't formally start until
the next season in "The Puffy Shirt". I've been typed that the John Randolph
version is still being seen overseas.
Viewer
Jerry Balsam notes that in this episode, Kramer was referred
to as a "hipster doofus," which is an inside joke Larry David
wrote in response to a review of the series by Francis Davis
that appeared in the December 1992 issue of The Atlantic
Monthly. In the review, Davis describes one of the
characters as "Jerry's across-the-hall neighbor, a
hipster doofus known simply as Kramer."
Viewer
Ross Raniere seems to remember some controversy surrounding
this episode before it was first aired. There was some backlash
and offense taken at the plot. It was written in an article
that it may not be aired. Given the production code of the
episode, I would suggest that the airing of the episode was
delayed and perhaps some of the content adjusted to appease
the critics. Anyone have any details?
- "The
Pilot (1)"
gs: Anne Twomey [ Rita
], Gina Hecht [ Dana Foley ], Jeremy Piven [ Michael Barth
(TV George) ], Larry Hankin [ Tom Pepper (TV Kramer) ],
Kevin Page [ Stu ], Mariska Hargitay [ Melissa ], Laura
Waterbury [ Casting Director ], Elena Wohl [ Sandi Robbins
(TV Elaine) ], Bruce Jarchow [ Doctor ], Al Ruscio [ Manager
], Richard Gant [ Fred ], Peter Blood [ Jay ], Roger Rose
[ Mark ], Samantha Dorman [ Waitress ], Erick Avari [ Cabbie
], Bob Shaw [ Paul ], Stephen Burrows [ David ]
rc: Russell, "Crazy" Joe
Jerry
and George get the green light to produce Jerry,
the pilot for the series based on their "nothing" lives.
Russell Dalrimple, the president at NBC behind the pilot,
is obsessed with Elaine. George is obsessed with a white
spot on his lip and a box of raisins taken by actor playing
Kramer. The real Kramer has an internal plumbing problem
and on his way to fix it, he gets delayed and is caused to "miss
his chance." Jerry has an audition with the new "Elaine," a
method actress interested in being Elaine in every way. The
real Elaine has a problem with the coffee shop, they appear
to be only hiring buxom waitresses, so she tries to get hired
and files a report.
b:
20 May 93 pc: 423 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Pilot (2)"
gs: Anne Twomey [ Rita ], Jeremy Piven [ Michael
Barth (TV George) ], Larry Hankin [ Tom Pepper (TV Kramer)
], Kevin Page [ Stu ], Elena Wohl [ Sandi Robbins (TV Elaine)
], Al Ruscio [ Manager ], Richard Gant [ Fred ], Peter
Blood [ Jay ], Brian Bradley [ Butler ], Bob Shaw [ Paul
], Deborah Swisher [ 1st AD ], Jeff Oetjen [ Wilton ],
Pat Hazell [ Himself ], Kari Coleman [ Allison ], Bill
Erwin [ Sid ], Lanei Chapman [ Housekeeper ], Jane Leeves
[ Marla ], Unknown [ John-John ], Rick Overton [ The Drake
], Elizabeth Dennehy [ Allison ], Maggie Han [ Cheryl ],
Ping Wu [ Ping ], Brian Doyle-Murray [ Mel ], Carol Mansell
[ Mother ], Jon Hayman [ Voice of Donald ], Jennifer Campbell
[ Tia ], Nicholas Hormann [ Calvin ], Teri Hatcher [ Sidra
], Tony Amendola [ Sal Bass (Rushdie) ], Larry David [
Man on Raft (uncredited) ]
rc: Russell, "Crazy" Joe,
Susan, Morty, Helen, Newman
Rehearsals
for the pilot begin. Russell's obsession with Elaine begins
to affect his work. George asks TV Kramer about the raisins.
The real Kramer might be forced to work on his plumbing problem
by using the "dreaded apparatus." Elaine gets an investigation
started on the owner of the diner. George gets the results
of the biopsy of his white spot. At the taping of the pilot,
Elaine sneaks in disguised and "Crazy" Joe jumps out of the
audience. Elaine finds Morty's wallet in Jerry's couch. Everyone
from the past season comments on the pilot as it's broadcast,
they all think it's great. When Russell disappears, the fate
of the pilot is in the hands of the new president, a person
convinced that Jerry can't act.
b:
20 May 93 pc: 424 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. The major characters
from the past season who comment on the pilot were not credited
for this episode; however, we know who most of them were,
so they've been included with this episode.
5th
Season 1993
- "The
Mango"
gs: Lisa Edelstein [ Karen ], Leonard Termo [
Joe ], Veralyn Jones [ Renee ]
George
tells Jerry about his lack of confidence below "the equator." Jerry
begs Elaine for another chance when he finds out she faked
her orgasms. Kramer gets banned from his favorite fruit shop.
b:
16 Sep 93 pc: 501 w: Lawrence H. Levy & Buck Dancer
s: Lawrence H. Levy d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: The
co-writing credit for the teleplay that was credited to Buck
Dancer, is changed to Larry David in the syndicated reruns.
Larry must have decided to use a pseudonym for the original
broadcast. Buck is also the first name George would use if
he was a porn star, the full name being Buck Naked.
- "The
Puffy Shirt"
gs: Wendel Meldrum [ Leslie ], David Brisbin [
Client ], Bryant Gumbel [
Himself ], Deborah May [ Elsa ], Michael Mitz [ Photographer
], Kim Gillingham [ Assistant ], Terence Riggins [ Stage
Manager ], Ron Ross [ Homeless Man ]
rc: Estelle,
Frank
George
is forced to move in with his parents. He gets a job as a
hand model and becomes obsessed with keeping his hands safe.
Kramer's girlfriend whom design clothes and talks with a
real low voice asks Jerry a question that he politely answers
yes to. He agrees to wear one of her new puffy pirate shirts
on a Today Show appearance he is making.
b:
23 Sep 93 pc: 503 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Glasses"
gs: Timothy Stack [
Dwayne ], Anna Gunn [ Amy ], Tom Towles [ Tough
Guy ], Rance
Howard [ Blind Man ], Michael Saad [ Doctor ]
rc: Uncle
Leo
George's
glasses are stolen and he needs a new pair, so he goes to
see Kramer's friend to get a thirty percent discount; all
Elaine gets is bitten by a dog and then she becomes afraid
of them. While not wearing his glasses, George thinks he
sees Jerry's girlfriend kissing Jerry's cousin and Jerry
tries to figure out if it's true.
b:
30 Sep 93 pc: 502 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom
Cherones
- "The
Sniffing Accountant"
gs: John Kapelos [ Barry ], Marty Rackham [ Jake
Jarmel ], Patrick Cronin [ Farkus ], Christa
Miller [ Ellen ], Ralph Harris Jr. [ Ralph ], Maria
Stanton [ Woman in Diner ], Deck McKenzie [ Mitch ]
rc: Newman,
Estelle, Frank, Lippman
George's
father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Evidence
points to Jerry's accountant being a drug user. So Jerry,
Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth. Elaine's
new boyfriend is perfect except for his use of an exclamation
point.
b:
7 Oct 93 pc: 504 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Tom Cherones
NOTE: This
episode was recorded on 14 Sep 93 and was attended by 18
members of the Vandelay Industries Mailing List. Christa
Miller will reappear as another character in "The Doodle".
- "The
Bris"
gs: Charles Levin [ Mohel ], Debra Mooney [ Mrs.
Sweedler ], Tom Alan Robbins [ Stan ], Jeannie Elias [
Myra ], John Gegenhuber [ Resident ], Tia Riebling [ Woman
], Frank Noon [ Patient ]
George
gets a great parking spot that becomes a target. Kramer thinks
that he has stumbled on the product of a genetic engineering
experiment, a "pig man". Elaine and Jerry are nervous about
the religious duties they must do when they agree to become
godparents to a couple's newborn, including getting the Mohel
and holding the baby for the circumcision.
b:
14 Oct 93 pc: 505 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: I've
removed the note about The Godfather reference.
There are numerous obscure references such as this buried
within the series, identifying and noting them all would
be unwieldy, so let's not start.
- "The
Lip Reader"
gs: Christopher Darga [ Driver ], Linda Kash [
Gwen ], Jerry Sroka [ Todd ], Marlee Matlin [
Laura ], Veralyn Jones [ Renee ], Dylan Haggerty [ Young
Man ], Bret Anthony [ Teen ]
rc: Newman
Jerry
is smitten with a line judge at the US Open, but after he
gets her attention, he finds out she is deaf. Elaine has
a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants
to use Jerry's girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend
to find out what she is saying about him. While she is reading
the lips, Kramer does the translation, that gets George in
more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when
Monica Seles returns to tennis.
b:
28 Oct 93 pc: 506 w: Carol Leifer d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Non-Fat Yogurt"
gs: Maryedith Burrell [ Maryedith ], Peter Keleghan
[ Lloyd ], John Christian Graas [ Matthew ], Hugh A. Rose
[ Doctor ], Lisa Houle [ Cheryl ], Jed Mills [ Joel ],
John Gabriel [ Newscaster ], Darrell Kunitomi [ Lab Technician
]
rc: Newman,
Estelle, Frank
When they
begin to gain weight, Jerry and Elaine suspect that Kramer
has made a bad investment in a non-fat yogurt shop. Jerry
inadvertently uses the "F" word, as a result so does Maryedith's
son Matthew, a lot. George meets an old childhood friend
whom he is convinced is trying to humiliate him. Elaine begins
dating this friend and gives him an idea for his mayoral
candidate's campaign. Kramer's date with a lab technician
results in strange test results for the future mayor of New
York City.
b:
4 Nov 93 pc: 508 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Around
this time it was reported that four versions of the ending
of this episode were shot. The correct one being used based
on results of the mayoral election being held at that time.
The syndicated rerun of this episode shows more footage of
the mayoral campaign, featuring Rudy Giuliani, who was not
credited for his appearance (unless you count the caption
during his press conference).
- "The
Barber"
gs: Anthony Ponzini [ Enzo ], David Ciminello
[ Gino ], Michael Fairman [ Mr. Pensky ], Jack Shearer
[ Mr. Tuttle ], Kenny Myles [ Mike ], Peggy Maltby [ Clarisse
], David Richardson [ Customer ]
rc: Newman
George
is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful
or not, so he decides to go into the office and act like
an employee while the boss is on vacation. Jerry is reluctant
to dump his old barber even when he is given a real bad haircut.
Kramer arranges to get him a clandestine haircut at the apartment
of his barber. Newman is charged by Jerry's barber to get
a sample of Jerry's hair when he suspects foul play.
b:
11 Nov 93 pc: 507 w: Andy Robin d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Masseuse"
gs: Lisa Edelstein [ Karen ], Jennifer Coolidge
[ Jody ], Anthony Cistaro [ Joel Rifkin ], John Glen Bishop
[ Ticket Man ], Hiram Kasten [ Michael ], Lisa Pescia [
Lisa ]
Elaine
meets a man who's perfect except his name is the same as
a notorious serial killer. Jerry is frustrated when he can't
get his girlfriend, who's a masseuse, to give him a massage,
even Kramer is a customer. George is obsessed when Jerry's
girlfriend doesn't like him, so he tries extra hard to get
her to like him, much to his own girlfriend's dismay.
b:
18 Nov 93 pc: 509 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: On
an episode of Love and War that was broadcast
on 6 Dec 93, Jerry and Larry David appear in a cameo as themselves.
Viewer
Jeff Holland notes that one of the names that Elaine suggests
her boyfriend change his name to was O.J.. Several months
later of course we all know what happened to that name.
- "The
Cigar Store Indian"
gs: Kimberly Norris [ Winona ], Sam Lloyd [ Ricky
], Carissa Channing [ Sylvia ], Ralph Manza [ Gepetto ], Al
Roker [ Himself ], Veralyn Jones [ Renee ], Lisa Pescia
[ Joanne ], Benjamin Lum [ Mailman ], Irvin Mosley Jr.
[ Spike ]
rc: Estelle,
Frank, Lippman
Jerry
helps George out with a coffee stable stain and makes Elaine
take the subway home and gives her Mr. Costanza's TV
Guide to read. While on the train Elaine meets a strange
man obsessed with television. George meets a woman at a refinishing
store who he brings back to his parent's home and passes
it off as his. A female Native American that he is interested
in, thinks Jerry is racially insensitive when he presents
Elaine with a cigar-store Indian as a peace offering. George
gets grounded when his parents return from vacation and find
an unused prophylactic in their bed and a missing TV
Guide. Kramer has an idea for a coffee table book
on coffee tables that Elaine doesn't like but Mr. Lippman
does.
b:
9 Dec 93 pc: 510 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom
Cherones
- "The
Conversion"
gs: Kay E. Kuter [ Older Priest ], Molly Hagan
[ Sister Roberta ], Tom Verica [ Doctor ], Kimberley Campbell
[ Tawni ], Jana Marie Hupp [ Sasha ], Bill Rose [ Younger
Priest ], Randy Brenner [ Waiter ], Darlene Kardon [ Mrs.
Lupchek ], Karen Rizzo [ Woman Hailing Cab ]
rc: Frank,
Estelle
George
changes his religion to Latvian Orthodox to keep his girlfriend
who must break up with him for religious reasons. Jerry finds
a tube of fungus cream in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet
and fakes an illness until he can figure out what the cream
is used for. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend
who's a podiatrist. Kramer meets a sister at George's new
church who becomes infatuated with him.
b:
16 Dec 93 pc: 511 w: Bruce Kirschbaum d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Paul Redkoles notes that Jerry's girlfriend is sub-letting
apartment 5E, which we all know to be Newman's apartment.
- "The
Stall"
gs: Jami Gertz [ Jane
], Dan
Cortese [ Tony ]
While
in a bathroom stall, Elaine needs some toilet paper, but
the woman in the next stall refuses to give her a piece.
The woman is Jerry's girlfriend whose voice Kramer recognizes
from a telephone sex line. Elaine's boyfriend, whose face
she just loves, takes George & Kramer rock climbing.
After his accident, Elaine isn't sure his face will be the
same.
b:
6 Jan 94 pc: 512 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Jeff Holland that this is the first episode where Jerry actually
uses his computer. He uses it at least once more, during
the last season. And on a related note, while the computer
in the background has been an Apple Macintosh, some viewers
have said that they spotted a copy of Windows 95 lurking
in the background in future episodes.
- "The
Dinner Party"
gs: Fred Pinkard [ Newsstand Guy ], Frank Novak
[ Clerk ], Mark Holton [ David ], Suzy Soro [ Barbara ],
Kathryn Kates [ Counterwoman ], S. Marc Jordan [ Man in
Bakery ], Langdon Bensing [ Man on Street ], Sayed Badreya
[ Foreign Man ], Amjad J. Oaisen [ Hussein ], Roger Eschbacher
[ Man with Cane ]
The gang
struggles to find gifts for a dinner party. Jerry and Elaine
stop at a bakery to get a cake, but they forget to take a
number and lose the chocolate pastry and the one they get
has a hair on it. Kramer and George try to get the wine but
must get change for a $100 dollar bill and wait for a double-parker
to return to his car.
b:
3 Feb 94 pc: 514 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Kyle Matschke noticed a blooper in this episode. When Jerry
is holding the black and white cookie, the colors keep changing
sides every time the shot cuts back to Jerry.
Viewer
Jay Pollack rechecks George's math.
"George
and Kramer go to buy the wine, the guy says it costs $13.05.
Then they go to the newsstand to get change and end up
spending $6.75. George says, "Great, now with the wine,
I am in over $20!" Add the totals: $19.80, so he is not
in over $20!! Oopps!"
Another
viewer, Dave Antonoff says, "What about the tax Jay?" I should
have caught that.
- "The
Marine Biologist"
gs: Carol Kane [ Corinne
], George Murdock [ Testikov ], Rosalind Allen [ Diane
], David Blackwood [ Hotel Clerk ], Heather Morgan [ Woman
on Beach ]
rc: Newman,
Lippman
Jerry
meets an old college classmate who asked about George, whom
Jerry says is now a "marine biologist." An infuriated Russian
writer tosses an electronic organizer belonging to Elaine
out of a limousine that hits a passerby on the head. Kramer
struggles with his golf swing and sand. While walking along
the beach, George is called on to use his marine biology
skills to save a whale.
b:
10 Feb 94 pc: 513 w: Ron Hague & Charlie Rubin d: Tom
Cherones
- "The
Pie"
gs: Suzanne Snyder [ Audrey ], Christine Dunford
[ Saleswoman ], Reni Santoni [
Poppie ], Lane Davies [ MacKenzie ], Mark Beltzman [ Bob
], Sunday Theodore [ Olive ], Sam Lloyd [ Ricky ], Paul
Mantee [ Health Inspector ], Patricia Belcher [ Woman #1
], Pamela Mant [ Woman #2 ], Bernard Hocke [ Guy in Diner
], Eamonn Roche [ Waiter ], Robert Kino [ Ricky's Boss
], Tony Edwards [ Businessman ]
Jerry
can't believe that his girlfriend won't share a piece of
pie with him. There is a mannequin at a store that looks
like Elaine and she wants to know where it came from. George
is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer
has an itch. George's new suit makes a noise.
b:
17 Feb 94 pc: 515 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom
Cherones
- "The
Stand-In"
gs: Mark Tymchyshyn [ Phil ], Karla Tamburrelli
[ Daphne ], Debbie Lee Carrington [ Tammy ], W. Earl Brown
[ Al ], Michael Rivkin [ Fulton ], Joe Gieb [ Johnny ],
Layne Beamer [ Father ], Thomas Dekker [ Son ], Jerome
Betler [ Director ]
rc: Mickey
Kramer
talks his stand-in friend, a "little person" into getting
lifts, to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, who's
in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George and his
latest girlfriend have nothing to say to each other, he wants
to break up, but won't when he finds out she is being urged
to break it off. One of Jerry's friends "takes it out" while
on his first date with Elaine. Jerry's friend takes a turn
for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again.
b:
24 Feb 94 pc: 516 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Wife"
gs: Courteney Cox [
Meryl ], Scott LaRose [ Greg ], Joseph Ragno [ Marty ],
Rebecca Glenn [ Paula ], Nick LaTour [ Grandpa ], Susan
Segal [ Waitress ], Lili Bernard [ Anna ], Lawrence A.
Mandley [ Owner ]
rc: Morty,
Helen, Uncle Leo
A girlfriend
poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount.
George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and
is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is
getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested.
Kramer's getting ready to impress his girlfriend's parents.
b:
17 Mar 94 pc: 517 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Viewer
Liz Pollack notes that when Jerry is bickering with Meryl
about the can opener every time they switch the shot the
bottle that is on the counter switches sides of the six pack
case.
- "The
Raincoats (1)"
gs: Michael G. Hagerty [ Rudy ], Dorien Wilson
[ Alec ], Annie Korzen [ Doris Klompus ], Judge Reinhold [
Aaron ], Lisa Pescia [ Joanne ], Melanie Smith [ Rachel
]
rc: Frank,
Estelle, Morty, Helen, Klompus
Jerry's
parents are staying with him while they wait to take their
trip to Paris and he's just returned from three weeks on
the road can't get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George
tries to get out of the big brother program, just after he
gets talked into it. The Seinfelds avoid the Costanza's dinner
invitation. Elaine's latest boyfriend, who's a "close talker," becomes
unusually fixated on Jerry's parents and shows them New York
City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry's father to sell belt-less
raincoats to a secondhand shop and George sells his father's
moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right before they plan
a cruise.
b:
28 Apr 94 pc: 519 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry
David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Raincoats (2)"
gs: Michael G. Hagerty [ Rudy ], Dorien Wilson
[ Alec ], Stephen Pearlman [ Mr. Goldstein ], Annie Korzen
[ Doris Klompus ], Judge Reinhold [ Aaron ], Melanie Smith
[ Rachel ], LaRita Shelby [ Tour Leader ], Jason Manary
[ Joey ]
rc: Newman,
Frank, Estelle, Morty, Helen, Klompus
Jerry
and his girlfriend get some time alone with each other at
a movie, Schindler's
List, they don't see it; however, Newman sees
it and them. A delay in the shipment of the raincoats will
make the Seinfelds miss their flight to France, George uses
this as an opportunity to get his "little" brother back to
his father. The Seinfelds manage to avoid meeting the Costanzas
in New York City.
b:
28 Apr 94 pc: 520 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry
David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Fire"
gs: Melanie Chartoff [
Robin ], Veanne Cox [ Toby ], Dom Irrera [ Ronnie ], Jon
Favreau [ Clown ], Lisa Pescia [ Joanne ], Hiram Kasten
[ Michael ], Patience Cleveland [ Old Lady ], Lawrence
LeJohn [ Fireman ]
rc: Frank
(voice only, uncredited), Estelle (voice only, uncredited)
Kramer
is dating one of Elaine's co-workers, a woman who drives
her crazy. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry's shows, where
she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national
magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there
is a fire at his girlfriend's apartment, during her son's
birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling
the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto
the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe,
takes a bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from
a gunman. Inspired by Kramer's tale, George tries to confront
his feelings of cowardice.
b:
5 May 94 pc: 518 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones
- "The
Hamptons"
gs: Melanie Smith [ Rachel ], Lisa Mende [ Carol
], Melora Walters [ Jane ], Richard Burgi [ Ben ], Mark
L. Taylor [ Michael ], Jesse D. Goins [ Cop ]
Everyone
makes a trip to the Hamptons to "see the baby" and enjoy
the weekend. George's girlfriend goes topless and everyone
sees her chest before he does. "The baby" is the most hideous
thing they've ever seen. Elaine is confused when a handsome
doctor refers to her as "breathtaking" - the same term he
later uses to describe the baby. Kramer finds a filled lobster
trap. Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked, after he's just
gotten out of the pool, so something isn't as it should be.
b:
12 May 94 pc: 522 w: Peter Mehlman & Carol Leifer d:
Tom Cherones
- "The
Opposite"
gs: Marty Rackham [ Jake Jarmel ], Siobhan Fallon
[ Tina ], Paul Gleason [ Cushman ], Dedee Pfeiffer [ Victoria
], Melanie Smith [ Rachel ], Regis Philbin [
Himself ], Kathie Lee Gifford [
Herself ], Hiram Kasten [ Michael ], French Stewart [
Manager ], Ken Takemoto [ Chairman ], Fritz Mashimo [ Interpreter
], Susan Segal [ Waitress ], Oscar Jordan [ Counterperson
], Rolando Molina [ Punk #1 ], Michael Friedman [ Punk
#2 ], Marvin Braverman [ Poker Player #1 ], Wesley Thompson
[ Poker Player #2 ], Jeff Barton [ Poker Player #3 ], Jeffrey
Von Meyer [ Poker Player #4 ], Larry David [ Voice of George
Steinbrenner (uncredited) ]
rc: Estelle,
Frank, Lippman
George
comes to the realization that he should try to do the opposite
of everything, so he does, his luck changes and everything
begins to go his way including getting a girlfriend, a job
with the Yankees and moving out of his parents house. Things
begin to be unlucky for Elaine after she buys a box of "Jujyfruits." Kramer
appears on Regis & Kathie Lee to promote
his coffee table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry
and he readily agrees, because his luck has been "even Steven." Elaine's
eating of "Jujyfruits" causes Pendant Publishing to go under,
and later she realizes that she and George have traded places.
b:
19 May 94 pc: 521 w: Andy Cowan and Larry David & Jerry
Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones
NOTE: Starting
with this episode, Larry David supplies the voice of George
Steinbrenner. Steinbrenner is only seen from the back. Steinbrenner's
back is occasionally played by Larry David or actor Lee Bear.
Kenny "real" Kramer does a great impression of Larry David
and by default does a great impression of Steinbrenner.
Viewer
Paul Redkoles notes that in this episode Kramer mentions
he thought of the idea for the book while skiing; however,
it is in "The Cigar Store Indian", that Kramer first thinks of and
mentions the book.
6th
Season 1994
- "The
Chaperone"
gs: Gail Strickland [ Landis ], Marguerite MacIntyre
[ Karen ], Danny Tartabull [ Himself ], Buck Showalter
[ Himself ]
rc: Mr.
Pitt
Jerry
gets a date with Miss Rhode Island, a Miss America contestant;
when they need a chaperone Kramer is available. On the date,
Kramer gives her advice and becomes her personal coach. Elaine
tries to get a job at Doubleday, filling in the shoes once
filled by Jackie Onassis; instead she gets a job being the
personal assistant of a top executive who likes white socks.
Meanwhile, George decides that the Yankees need to change
their uniforms from polyester to cotton.
b:
22 Sep 94 pc: 601 w: Larry David, Bill Masters & Bob
Shaw d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Big Salad"
gs: Michelle Forbes [
Julie ], Jerry Levine [ Stationer ], Marita Geraghty [
Margaret ], Barry Nolan [ Reporter ], Dean Hallo [ Gendason
], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ]
rc: Newman
Elaine's
boss wants a special mechanical pencil, so Elaine tries to
get one from a stationary store where the clerk has a thing
for her. George and his girlfriend pick up a "big salad" for
Elaine, that his girlfriend gives to Elaine and she thanks
her. Later, George points out that he bought the "big salad." Jerry
discovers that his current girlfriend once dated Newman,
who broke off his relationship with her. Kramer plays golf
with an ex-ball player who breaks a rule of golf, they have
a fight, and later the ball player is wanted for questioning
in the murder of a dry cleaner, where a golf tee was involved.
Kramer later helps him evade the police in a white Ford Bronco.
b:
29 Sep 94 pc: 602 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Pledge Drive"
gs: Kelly Coffield [
Noreen ], Billye Ree Wallace [
Nana ], Brian Reddy [ Dan ], Rebecca Staab [ Kristin ],
Danny Tartabull [ Himself ], Tom Wright [ Executive (Morgan)
], James Reynolds [ Banker ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress
], F.J. Rio [ Street Tough ], Thom Vernon [ Driver ]
rc: Uncle
Leo, Mr. Pitt
Jerry
comments that a friend was hitting on him and Elaine tries
to find out if what was true, but gets the voice of the woman
and her current boyfriend confused. Elaine's boss eats his
Snickers bar with a knife and fork and idea that soon catches
on. George thinks a waitress gave him the finger. Jerry gets
caught throwing away a thank you card. Jerry cashes some
old birthday checks from his grandmother. Jerry's working
a PBS pledge drive and gets George to bring a Yankee to appear
with him, while en-route to the studio, someone gives George
the finger.
b:
6 Oct 94 pc: 603 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Rick Streeter notes that in "The Statue" George says that his parents had this exact statue
on the mantle of their apartment, but in this episode he
says that if his parents had a mantle when he was growing
up he might be a completely different person.
- "The
Chinese Woman"
gs: Kelly Coffield [ Noreen ], Angela Dohrmann
[ Donna Chang ], Will Utay [ Dr.
Korval ], Lucy Lin [ Hostess ], Jack Tracy [ Man ], Larry
David [ Man With Cape (uncredited) ]
rc: Frank,
Estelle
Jerry
and Elaine see George's father with a man with a cape but
don't say hello. Jerry discovers a Chinese woman on George's
phone line after the wires get crossed and he gets a date
with her. Kramer gets worried about his sperm count, so he
goes to a fertility clinic and then makes a change in his
choice of undergarments. Elaine ruins her friend Noreen's
latest romance with a long talker. The Chinese woman turns
out to be Jewish and from Long Island. Estelle gets advice
about her relationship with Frank from the Chinese woman,
but discounts it when she meets her. George's life is made
miserable when his parent's separate.
b:
13 Oct 94 pc: 604 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Couch"
gs: Reni Santoni [ Poppie ], David James Elliott
[ Carl ], Robert Hooks [ Joe Temple ], Denise Dowse [ Mother
], Patton Oswalt [ Clerk ], Diana Theodore [ Remy ], Jessica
Hecht [ Marie ], Mari Weiss [ Woman #1 ], Tamar Cooper
[ Woman #2 ], Beverly C. Brown [ Woman #3 ], Jeris Lee
Poindexter [ Man ]
Elaine
begins to date the guy who delivers Jerry's new couch. Kramer
plans to start the pizza business he thought of back in "Male Unbonding" with Poppie. George joins a book club, but
tries to rent the movie so he can bluff his way through the
meeting. Jerry and Elaine's discussion of the abortion issue
causes trouble for Poppie, Elaine's relationship & Jerry's
new couch. George spends the evening with the family that
has rented the film.
b:
27 Oct 94 pc: 605 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Shawn Barat notes that the company that moves the couch is
the same company whose phone number Elaine uses to avoid
receiving a phone call from the Denim Vest Guy in "The Strike".
- "The
Gymnast"
gs: Lois Nettleton [ Mrs. Enright ], Elina Löwensohn
[ Katya ], Jessica Hecht [ Lindsay ], Maurice Godin [ Misha
], James Sweeney [ Aronson ], David Blackwood [ Beck ],
Phil Ramsey [ Man in Car ], Damian London [ Party Guest
]
rc: Mr.
Pitt
George
and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on something
if he stops dating a Rumanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and
Kramer find out about one of George's bathroom habits. Kramer
must pass a kidney stone. The mother of George's girlfriend
sees him eat something out of a trash bin, later cleaning
a windshield & one of his bathroom habits. Elaine's boss
becomes obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting,
so he sends her to represent him in a huge merger deal.
b:
3 Nov 94 pc: 606 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Soup"
gs: Tracy Kolis [ Kelly ], Daniel Gerroll [ Simon
], Linda Wallem [ Hildy ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Manager
/ Monk's ], Michael Kaplan [ Waiter ]
rc: Bania
Elaine
brings over a man she met in England and he turns out to
be a real bounder. Jerry accepts an Armani suit from an obnoxious
comedian, the only condition, he must treat him to a meal
at a restaurant; however, what makes up a meal. George goes
for a walk with a waitress from Monk's and manure in the
path sums up his relationship with her. After his kidney
stone, Kramer decides to eat only fresh foods.
b:
10 Nov 94 pc: 608 w: Fred Stoller d:
Andy Ackerman
- "The
Mom & Pop Store"
gs: Jon Voight [ Himself
], Elsa Raven [ Mom ], Michael Robello [ Pop ], Tom Wright
[ Morgan ], Ken Thorley [ Car Salesman ], Dan Frischman
[ Guy on Phone ], Rick Fitts [ Dentist ], Nancy Balbirer
[ Woman at Party ], Pat Asanti [ Electrician ], Steve Brady
[ Man at Party ], Matt Gallini [ Tough Guy ]
rc: Mr.
Pitt, Whatley
A salesman
convinces George to buy a convertible once owned by "Jon
Voight." Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business,
but his good intentions affect Jerry in a big way. Elaine
wins tickets for Mr. Pitt, who's always wanted to participate
in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
b:
17 Nov 94 pc: 607 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: On
24 Nov 94, instead of an episode of Seinfeld being
on, Jerry hosted a one hour special highlighting his two
favorite comedians, Bud Abbott & Lou Costello. The special
was called Abbott & Costello Meet Jerry Seinfeld.
- "The
Secretary"
gs: Vicki Lewis [ Ada ], Joseph R. Sicari [ Willie
], Arminae Azarian [ Saleswoman ], Mitzi McCall [ Donna
], Richard Marion [ Guy ], Thomas Mills [ Moviegoer ],
Glynis McCants [ Woman ], Courtney Taylor [ Attractive
Applicant ]
rc: Bania
Jerry
confronts his dry cleaner, whom he spotted wearing a jacket
that he brought in for cleaning. George passes over hiring
an attractive secretary for a less attractive one, he thinks
he'll be able to get some work done; however, the secretary's
efficiency turns him on, so he gets her a raise and then
she makes more than he does. Kramer gets Uma Thurman's phone
number and sells Bania his suit at a women's clothing store
then he hides in a dressing room until he can get some clothing.
At this same store, Elaine tries to buy a dress, but is unsatisfied
with the size of the mirrors in the store.
b:
8 Dec 94 pc: 609 w: Carol Leifer & Marjorie Gross d:
David Owen Trainor
NOTE: Viewer
Kevin Hercules notes the following blooper: When Kramer is
in the dressing room in his underwear, his wallet is in the
elastic. After he and Jerry are talking for a while, the
wallet disappears without him taking it out.
Another
viewer notes that Kramer must have gotten used to wearing
boxer shorts, instead of briefs or nothing at all, as seen
in "The Chinese Woman."
- "The
Race"
gs: Todd Kimsey [ Ned ], Renee Props [ Lois ], Don R. McManus [
Duncan ], Vicki Lewis [ Ada ], Claude Earl Jones [ Mr.
Bevilaqua ], Mark Christopher Lawrence [ Boss ], Michael
Sorich [ Castro ], Denise Poirier [ Arlene ], Spencer Klein
[ Kid ], Martin Chow [ Lew ], Eva Svensson [ Woman ]
rc: Mickey
Through
his current girlfriend, Lois, Jerry meets an old rival, who
suspects that he cheated in a high school race and he wants
a rematch with Jerry to prove he was faster. Elaine is put
on a "blacklist" for Chinese food delivery and finds out
her boyfriend is a Communist. George responds to a personal
ad in a Communist newspaper while at work, when Steinbrenner
hears about it, he wants to see George in his office. Through
his friend Mickey, Kramer becomes a department store Santa,
who later spouts out Communist propaganda.
b:
15 Dec 94 pc: 612 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry
David s: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David & Sam
Kass d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Frank McKinney reminds me that we gets Elaine's address in
this episode as 16 W. 75th St., #2-G.
- "The
Switch"
gs: Sheree North [
Babs Kramer ], Gail Strickland [ Landis ], Charlotte Lewis [
Nina ], Jann Karam [ Sandi ], Terry Sweeney [ Keith ],
Heather Medway [ Laura ], Clive Rosengren [ Mr. Clotworthy
], Jacqueline M. Houston [ Lorraine ], Cheryl Francis Harrington
[ Waitress ], Tish Smiley [ Woman ]
rc: Newman
Elaine
lets a potential employer borrow Mr. Pitt's tennis racket,
but the injury suffered may ruin her chances, especially
when she must get his racket back. Jerry's girlfriend never
laughs, but he meets her roommate who does, so Jerry decides
he would like to make "the switch." George's model girlfriend
may be bulimic. He needs proof, so he meets Kramer's mother,
who's a bathroom matron. While there he finds out Kramer's
first name, Cosmo. Kramer decides it is time to be himself
and begins to use his first name. George has the perfect
plan for "the switch," a menage a trois.
b:
5 Jan 95 pc: 610 w: Bruce Kirschbaum and Sam Kass d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Label Maker"
gs: Jessica Tuck [ Bonnie ], Cleto Augusto [ Scott
], Wayne Grace [ Ukranian ]
rc: Newman,
Whatley
Elaine
and Jerry are suspicious of a friend's gift, when a gift
Elaine gave him, a label maker, is given to Jerry in return
for some Superbowl tickets Jerry has but can't use because "The
Drake" is getting married on Superbowl Sunday and he is in
the wedding party. George convinces his girlfriend to get
her male roommate to move out, that he soon regrets. Kramer
takes playing a game of Risk against Newman seriously. The
Superbowl tickets pass through several hands and Jerry sees
the game with his worst nightmare.
b:
19 Jan 95 pc: 611 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Dave Antonoff note that while the outside of the stadium
looked like the formerly named Joe Robbie Stadium, it most
definitely was not. I'm not surprised, it would be to costly
to shoot that on location, although I suppose someone on
the production staff could have gone on a trip to Florida
to recreate the setting in Hollywood.
- "The
Scofflaw"
gs: Marty Rackham [ Jake Jarmel ], Barbara Alyn
Woods [ Debby ], Ivory Ocean [ Officer Morgan ], Basil
Hoffman [ Salesman ], Lillian Lehman [ Judge ], Jon Lovitz [ Gary
Fogel ], Danny Breen [ Guy With Glasses ], Bob Shaw [ Cabbie
], Dale Harimoto [ Reporter ], Joe Ochman [ Customer ],
Elisabeth Sjoli [ Woman ]
rc: Newman,
Lippman
George
meets an old friend who's spent the last few months undergoing
chemotherapy, that everyone new except him. Kramer calls
a litterbug "a pig" near a cop who's on a quest to catch
a longtime parking ticket scofflaw. Kramer wanting to change
his image, asks Elaine where her old boyfriend got his glasses.
He goes to see him at a book signing and says hi for Elaine,
that means that she has lost the "upper hand" in their breakup,
so she confronts him and then gets even by getting a copy
of his glasses. George finds out from Gary, that he lied
about his cancer and has been taking advantage of Jerry's
kindness. Kramer discovers the identity of "the scofflaw." George
gets a toupee.
b:
26 Jan 95 pc: 613 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Daniel Benzali was
originally scheduled to play the part of the officer.
- "Highlights
of a Hundred (1) (a.k.a. The Clip Show)"
Jerry
introduces a program that shows highlights from the first
99 episodes of a "show about nothing."
b:
2 Feb 95 pc: 623 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: To
make my episode count agree with the number that Jerry cited
on The Tonight Show in the spring of 1997, I
have now included this special in the numbering of the guide
and also split it into two parts.
- "Highlights
of a Hundred (2) (a.k.a. The Clip Show)"
Jerry
introduces a program that shows highlights from the first
99 episodes of a "show about nothing."
b:
2 Feb 95 pc: 624 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: To
make my episode count agree with the number that Jerry cited
on The Tonight Show in the spring of 1997, I
have now included this special in the numbering of the guide
and also split it into two parts.
- "The
Beard"
gs: Robert Mailhouse [ Robert ], Katherine LaNasa
[ Cathy ], Jonathan Gries [ Homeless Man ], Ed Winter [ Mr. Stevenson
], Georgann Johnson [ Mrs. Stevenson ], Joan Elizabeth
[ Denise ], John F. O'Donohue [ Gus ], Jerry Diner [ Lou
], Mirron E. Willis [ Officer #1 ], Ken Kerman [ Officer
#2 ]
Elaine
tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. George, who's
wearing now wearing his toupee, discovers that the woman
Kramer has set him up with, is bald. Kramer gives a homeless
man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups
for $50 a lineup. Jerry begins to date a cop, but she wants
him to take a lie detector test, she thinks he is lying about
NOT watching Melrose Place.
b:
9 Feb 95 pc: 615 w: Carol Leifer d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Kiss Hello"
gs: Wendie Malick [
Wendy ], Billye Ree Wallace [ Nana ], Carol Leifer [ Receptionist
], Julio Oscar Mechoso [ Julio ], Rondi Reed [ Mary ],
Gene Elman [ Buddy ], Mary Scheer [ Joan ], Louisa Abernathy
[ Nurse ], Timothy McNeil [ Jeff ], Mark Fite [ Jack ],
C.D. LaBove [ Steve ], Wendy Worthington [ Louise ], Belinda
Barry [ Stephanie ]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Uncle Leo
Elaine's
friend, a physical therapist, whom Jerry must "kiss hello," has
an old style hairdo, that Jerry and Elaine want Kramer to
comment on. Jerry's grandmother wants him to open a ketchup
bottle and she tells a story about some money that Uncle
Leo was supposed to give his sister. Jerry's father is anxious
to collect the money and interest Leo owes. Kramer puts tenant
pictures up in the lobby and soon Jerry is giving every woman
in the building, the "kiss hello"; however, when he stops,
he becomes unpopular. George gets his arm looked at, misses
a follow up appointment and must pay for that visit. The
therapist skips out on her patients, including George, and
goes skiing with Elaine. After their trip, she drops Elaine
off 3 blocks from her apartment. Elaine injures her shoulder
carrying her equipment home, and can't get any complementary
treatment. Jerry gets proof of his uncle's dishonesty.
b:
16 Feb 95 pc: 614 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Andy Ackerman
- "The
Doorman"
gs: Larry Miller [
Doorman ], Patrick Cronin [ Farkus ], Reni Santoni [ Poppie
], Edith Fields [ Mrs. Payton ], Nick Jameson [ Horst ],
Jack Betts [ Mr. Green ], Barbara Pilavin [ German Woman
], Toni Sawyer [ Tenant #1 ], Nigel Gibbs [ Tenant #2 ],
Deck McKenzie [ Delivery Man ], Trudi Forristal [ Buxom
Woman ]
rc: Frank,
Estelle, Mr. Pitt
The doorman
in Mr. Pitt's building, cause's trouble for Jerry who was
only trying to be nice. Kramer robs George on the street
for some German tourists. George's father is living with
him and when he removes his shirt, George and Kramer see
that he has breasts. So, Kramer develops a new undergarment
for males that will alleviate this problem. Jerry offers
his soiled couch to replace the one that was stolen while
he was "on duty."
b:
23 Feb 95 pc: 616 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Jimmy"
gs: Anthony Starke [ Jimmy ], Robert Katims [
Deensfrei ], Mel Torme [ Himself
], Alison Armitage [ Cheryl ], J.D. Bridges [ Paramedic
], Elan Carter [ Receptionist ]
rc: Wilhelm,
Whatley
The guys
play a game of basketball with "the Jimmy," a man who talks
about himself in the third person. Jimmy sells odd shaped
training shoes and George is an interested investor. Fresh
from the gym, he attends a Yankees meeting about thefts,
during which he sweats profusely. Jerry goes to the dental
office and discovers they now carry Penthouse in the waiting
room. Elaine gets tickets to a benefit for the AMCA (Able
Mentally Challenged Adults) featuring Mel
Torme, the "Velvet Fog." Elaine tries to meet a handsome
guy at the gym, but instead talks with "the Jimmy," who makes
the date for himself. On a follow-up visit to the dental
office, Jerry feels the dentist and his hygienist may have
lived out a fantasy during his time in the chair, the type
of thing you might read in Penthouse. Kramer has a visit
to the dentist complete with Novocain, later while wearing
a pair of Jimmy's shoes, winds up getting a him a seat at
the main table of the benefit.
b:
16 Mar 95 pc: 617 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Doodle"
gs: Billye Ree Wallace [ Nana ], Christa Miller
[ Paula ], Dana Wheeler-Nicholson [ Shelly ], Guy Siner
[ Mandel ], Ellis E. Williams [ Karl ], Coby Turner [ Judy
], Wayne C. Dvorak [ Teacher ], Norman Brenner [ Passerby
]
rc: Newman,
Morty, Helen, Uncle Leo
Jerry
is disgusted when he finds out he was eating pecans that
were just in his girlfriend's mouth. George finds a doodle
that his girlfriend drew of him. Kramer is eating some tasty
peaches that come in season for two weeks every year. Fleas
force Jerry and his visiting parents out his apartment. Elaine
has an interview with a publisher that has suite of rooms
at a fancy hotel and that is where Jerry parents get to stay.
Jerry stays with his girlfriend. Elaine must go into Jerry's
fumigated apartment to get an unpublished manuscript that
she is supposed to read for her interview and she can't find
it, but Kramer read it in Jerry's apartment and the gas causes
him to lose his sense of taste. George finds out that his
girlfriend really doesn't care what he looks like. Jerry
figures out that Newman gave him the fleas. Meanwhile, Jerry's
parents, Uncle Leo and Nana live high on the hog at the hotel.
b:
6 Apr 95 pc: 618 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Daniel Massey notes that Newman's apartment in this episode
is 5F.
- "The
Fusilli Jerry"
gs: Marla Sucharetza [ Nancy ], Lou Cutell [ Dr.
Cooperman ], Yvette Cruise [ Clerk ]
rc: Estelle,
Frank, Puddy
Estelle
is getting an eye job. Kramer gets his new license plates
from the DMV, but the plates say "ASSMAN." Jerry is disturbed
when he finds out his mechanic used his "move" on Elaine
while making love to her. Kramer makes a statue of Jerry
out of fusilli pasta and he makes the most of his new license
plates. Jerry confronts his mechanic and later requires his
services. Frank becomes the unwitting victim of one of those "freak" accidents
proctologists are always telling stories about.
b:
27 Apr 95 pc: 619 w: Marjorie Gross s: Marjorie Gross & Jonathan
Gross and Ron Hague & Charlie Rubin d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Diplomat's Club"
gs: Tom Wright [ Morgan ], Robert Hooks [ Joe
], Debra Jo Rupp [ Katie ], Kim Zimmer [ Lenore ], O'Neal
Compton [ Earl ], Ellis E. Williams [ Karl, the exterminator
], John Cothran Jr. [ Man ], William B. Jackson [ Doctor
], Christine Cattell [ Stewardess ], Diana Theodore [ Remy
], Berta Maria Waagfjord [ Bridgette ], Mark Wheatle [
Waiter ]
rc: Newman,
Mr. Pitt
After
his quick trip to Ithaca, Jerry plans to meet a super model
at an airport club, but his assistant, Katie, makes the trip
a nightmare. Elaine says she will quit working for Mr. Pitt,
but finds out that she's going to be in his will. She becomes
a suspect when he overdoses his medication. George tries
to prove to his boss that he is not a racist, when he says
his boss looks like "Sugar" Ray Leonard. To prove it, he
tries to find anyone who's black that will be his friend.
While at the airport club, Kramer meets a rich Texan with
whom he starts making bets. Kramer hasn't gambled in three
years and when he begins to lose, he calls in Newman for
reinforcement.
b:
4 May 95 pc: 620 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Adam Gutschmidt notes that this must be one of writer Steve
Koren's favorite stories as a couple of characters from this
story have appeared in his stories. These are the characters:
Katie who reappears in "The Abstinence" and Earl Haffler in "The English Patient".
- "The
Face Painter"
gs: Katy Selverstone [
Siena ], Mark DeCarlo [ Alec Berg ], Raye Birk [ Mr. Pless
], Pierrino Mascarino [ Father Hernandez ], Joe Lala [
Priest ], Peggy Lane O'Rourke [ Waitress ], David Richardson
[ Fan #1 ], Dave Powledge [ Fan #2 ], Jan Eddy [ Fan #3
], Lawrence LeJohn [ Crowd Member ]
rc: Puddy
George
and his girlfriend discuss toilet paper and he is in love.
Elaine's boyfriend paints his face and his behavior at a
hockey game, disturbs Jerry, Elaine and a passing priest.
A monkey throws a banana peel at Kramer, when he throws it
back, the monkey becomes depressed and the zoo demands an
apology. George tries to tell his girlfriend that he loves
her, but her reaction surprises him. Jerry refuses to give
the "necessary" follow-up courtesy thank you for the hockey
tickets and Kramer is outraged.
b:
11 May 95 pc: 622 w: Larry David s: Larry David & Fred
Stoller d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Story
writer Fred Stoller appears in an uncredited cameo as one
of the fans behind the gang and the face painter at the hockey
game. Sitting next to Fred wearing a Rangers jersey is the "real" Kramer. Viewer Jerry Balsam noticed that
there is a character in this episode named Alec Berg, which
also happens to be the name of a one of the show's writer-producers.
Coincidence? Also there is a visual reference to the fictional
company called Gramercy, that Katy Selverstone worked for
in a popular series of commercials that she appeared in.
Viewer
Alan Bright notes that in this episode George claims that
he has never said I love you, except to a dog. However, in "The Ex-Girlfriend", George says that Marlene squeezed an "I
love you" return from him. Perhaps he was in denial.
Finally,
Josh Tomel notes that 36-year-old Puddy would have been 20
years old when the Devils moved to New Jersey in 1982 from
Colorado. So he couldn't have been watching them as a kid
and it is not very likely that he would have been a fan of
the Colorado incarnation of the team.
- "The
Understudy"
gs: Bette Midler [
Herself ], June Kyoko Lu [ Ruby ], Amy Hill [ Kim ], Adelaide
Miller [ Gennice ], Bok Yun Chon [ Lotus ], Vonnie C. Rhee
[ Sunny ], Craig Thomas [ Player #1 ], Michael James McDonald
[ Player #2 ], Lou DiMaggio [ Stagehand ], Jason Beck [
Umpire ], Bob Shaw [ Cabbie ], Johnny Silver [ Vendor #1
], William Bastiani [ Vendor #2 ]
rc: Frank,
Peterman
George
and Jerry are suspected, by the cast and Kramer, of deliberately
injuring Bette Midler during a softball game, giving Jerry's
girlfriend, Bette's understudy, a chance to perform. Kramer
becomes Bette's personal assistant. Elaine gets George's
father to translate for her when she suspects that her manicurist
has made some obvious snide remarks in a foreign tongue.
While crying about losing her manicurists, Elaine meets the
owner of a catalog, J. Peterman, and gets herself a new job.
b:
18 May 95 pc: 621 w: Marjorie Gross & Carol Leifer
d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: According
to Kenny Kramer, Jack Luceno is Michael Richard's double
when shooting is done in NYC.
7th
Season 1995
- "The
Engagement"
gs: Mario Joyner [
Himself ], Janni Brenn [ Woman #2 ], Mailon Rivera [ Cop
#1 ], Athena Massey [ Melanie ], Ron Byron [ Man ], Renee
Phillips [ Alice ], Cindy Cheung [ Woman #1 ]
rc: Newman,
Frank, Estelle, Susan
Jerry
and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so
they make "a pact" to change their ways, though Jerry doesn't
know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment
because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends
a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend
from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours
of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman)
and Elaine commit a dognapping and take the dog far out of
the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however,
George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost
to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets
a good night of sleep.
b:
21 Sep 95 pc: 701 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Postponement"
gs: Bruce Mahler [
Rabbi (Glickman) ], Kelly Perine [ Usher ], John Rubano
[ Man ], Evie Peck [ Woman ]
rc: Susan
Elaine's
dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable
show. Kramer's involvement in the dognapping worries him
when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record.
Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone
the engagement. Elaine isn't "concerned" with George's intentions,
but is really jealous that he's the first of the group to
get engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem,
that he later relates to Jerry and anyone else who'll listen.
Kramer and Jerry try to see Plan
9 From Outer Space; however, Kramer "tries" to
sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it and his lawyer says
he has a case.
b:
28 Sep 95 pc: 702 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Bruce
Mahler also played a rabbi character with Seinfeld writer/executive
producer Larry David on ABC's Fridays from April
1980 to October 1982. That show was ABC's answer to Saturday
Night Live and also featured Michael Richards, whose
most notable character was a small boy who played with toy
soldiers in his backyard sandbox. Other Fridays regular
performers that have also appeared in Seinfeld include Maryedith
Burrell and Melanie Chartoff.
- "The
Maestro"
gs: Mark Metcalf [
Maestro ], Gary Yates [ Security Guard ], Paul Michael
[ Giggio ], James Noah [ Ned ], Tim Bagley [ Manager ],
Richard McGonagle [ Mr. Star ], Kenneth Ryan [ Mr. Burns
], Kymberley S. Newberry [ Ms. Jordan ], David Wendelman
[ Waiter ]
rc: Susan,
Jackie Chiles
George
is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan and
decides that he needs to help a security guard that works
at her uncle's store. Kramer's friend "Maestro", makes a
comment about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes
Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine begins dating the "Maestro." Kramer's
out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee
house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets
him "hopped up on the caffeine." Jerry asks Poppy about Tuscany
and is referred to Poppy's cousin, who makes him an offer
he can't refuse.
b:
5 Oct 95 pc: 703 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Mark
Metcalf who played "Maestro" in this episode is probably
best remembered for his role of Douglas C. Niedermeyer in National
Lampoon's Animal House and the Twisted Sister music video "We're
Not Gonna Take It."
- "The
Wink"
gs: Tom Wright [ Morgan ], Stacey Travis [ Holly
], Brian McNamara [ James ], Ian Patrick Williams [ Stubs
], Paul O'Neill [ Himself ], Thomas Dekker [ Bobby ], Clive
Rosengren [ Waiter ]
rc: Wilhelm
Elaine
gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service;
however, he likes dogs. A bit of grapefruit pulp, from Jerry's
healthy breakfast, gets into George's eye and causes problems
for him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry's
healthy diet conflicts with his dating of Elaine's cousin.
Kramer promises a sick boy that Yankee Paul O'Neill will
hit two home runs for him, so he can get back a birthday
card that he sold based on George's wink.
b:
12 Oct 95 pc: 704 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Kyle Westphal notes that Jerry mentions he would like to
date a deaf woman. Of course he already has in "The Lip Reader".
- "The
Hot Tub"
gs: Jeremiah Birkett [ Jean-Paul ], Leon Russom
[ Clayton ], Ernie Lively [ Zeke ], Charles Cyphers [ Gardner
], Kate Mulligan [ Sheri ], Susan Isaacs [ Woman ], Thom
Barry [ Manager ], Jeff Miller [ Event Guard ]
rc: Wilhelm
George
picks up a bad habit from some visiting baseball officials.
During the time of the New York City Marathon, Elaine has
an out of country runner as her house guest. The runner had
overslept and missed the big race at the last Olympics and
Jerry obsesses with ensuring that it doesn't happen again.
Kramer gets a hot tub from his friend Lomez and Elaine has
writer's block.
b:
19 Oct 95 pc: 705 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Ryan Huddleston notes this episode is where Kramer first
mentions his friend Lomez. While Kyle Westphal seems to have
missed this mention, he's noted that Kramer has also mentioned
Lomez in the following episodes: "The Package", "The Fatigues", "The Slicer", "The Betrayal", "The Apology".
- "The
Soup Nazi"
gs: Alexandra Wentworth [
Sheila ], Larry Thomas [
Soup Nazi ], John
Paragon [ Ray ], Yul Vazquez [ Bob ], Thom Barry [
Super ], Vince Melocchi [ Furniture Guy ], Ana Gasteyer
[ Woman ], Cedric Duplechain [ Customer ], Mike Michaud
[ Customer ]
rc: Newman,
Susan, Bania
While
on their way to the "soup place" Elaine finds an antique
cabinet she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to
get his soup from the "Soup Nazi." Elaine isn't allowed to
move her cabinet into her building, so Kramer offers to watch
it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine discuss
how annoyed they are by Jerry's sweet-talking with his current
girlfriend. Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the "Soup
Nazi," gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In
broad daylight and in Kramer's presence, two guys come along
and take the cabinet. Kramer relates the story of the cabinet
to the "Soup Nazi," who says he has a cabinet in the basement
that Kramer can have. Jerry's girlfriend makes a faux pas
in the "soup place" and Jerry disavows any knowledge of her.
George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact.
George and Susan see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner
and they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates
that George is showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives
Elaine the cabinet and tells her where he got it. Elaine
goes to thank the "Soup Nazi" but gets even further on his
bad side. Jerry discovers the cabinet contains the "Soup
Nazi's" recipes and Elaine takes them for the final confrontation.
b:
2 Nov 95 pc: 706 w: Spike Feresten d:
Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The
writer of this episode used to be a staff writer on Late
Show With David Letterman. According to an article in
the Reader Mail section of Aaron Barnhart's Late
Show News, Issue #86, the character of the "Soup Nazi" was
based on the owner of a soup stand in the neighborhood of
the Ed Sullivan Theater. The Late Show ... staffers
referred to him as the "Soup Nazi." The 21 Nov 95 issue of The
Star contains an article with the following headline "WATCH
OUT SEINFELD, I'M GOING TO SMACK YOUR FACE". The owner
of Soup Kitchen International, Al Yeganeh, is
the man the character is based on. Al, busy enough already
with his business, doesn't like the extra publicity his shop
was given by this episode or the use of the word "Nazi".
For his performance as the "Soup Nazi" Larry Thomas was nominated
for an Emmy Award.
- "The
Secret Code"
gs: Wayne Tippit [ Captain ], Lewis Arquette [
Leapin' Larry ], Fred Stoller [ Fred Yerkes ], Ellen Albertini
Dow [ Momma ], David St. James [ Doctor ], Michael Luckerman
[ Man ]
rc: Susan,
Peterman
George
tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is
puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for
ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other
party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry
to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks
Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency
band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at
the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss,
the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant.
Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to
accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up
staying all night and tells her his secret code before she
dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a
life or death situation.
b:
9 Nov 95 pc: 707 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Pool Guy"
gs: Carlos Jacott [ Ramon ], Billy Williams [
Usher ], Alec Mapa [ Paul ], Dom Magwili [ Dustin ]
rc: Newman,
Susan
Elaine
has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit and realizes
that she has no female friends, Jerry suggests that she ask
Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move and that George's
worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie,
then he can't get rid of him. George is worried by Elaine
wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry's
idea. Kramer's new phone number is similar to a film information
line. He keeps getting wrong numbers, so he begins giving
out the information.
b:
16 Nov 95 pc: 708 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This
episode was dedicated as follows: In memory of our
friend Rick Bolden.
- "The
Sponge"
gs: Jennifer Guthrie [ Lena ], Scott Patterson
[ Billy ], John Paragon [ Cedric ], Yul Vazquez [ Bob ],
David Byrd [ Roger ], Ileen Getz [ Organizer ], Steven
Hack [ Walker #1 ], Wren T. Brown [ Walker #2 ], P.B. Hutton
[ Walker #3 ], Susan Moore [ Monica ]
rc: Susan
Jerry
finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer's
AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred
method of birth control is only available in a limited supply,
Elaine must decided whether her current boyfriend is worthy.
George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry's jeans
and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her
another of Jerry's secrets when they make up. Jerry finds
out that George told Susan one of his secrets a now he's "out
of the loop." Elaine adjusts her screening process to find
worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS
walk when he won't "wear the ribbon."
b:
7 Dec 95 pc: 709 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Gum"
gs: Matt McCoy [ Lloyd ], Mary Jo Keenen [ Deena
], Eric Christmas [
Haarwood ], Sandy Ward [ Pop Lazzari ], Ruth Cohen [ Cashier
], Lionel Mark Smith [ Florist ], Vito D'Ambrosio [
Cop ], Alan Watt [ Attendant ]
Kramer
is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also
is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who's recovering from
a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum, that
Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier
short-changed him and meets a former neighbor (who's had
a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his former
neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting
with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse and reveals herself
to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine's lie, Jerry must
wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that
she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a
breakdown. George's car, once owned by "Jon Voight" in "The Mom & Pop Store", catches fire. Elaine shows more
to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince
Deena he's not crazy.
b:
14 Dec 95 pc: 710 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Writer
/ executive producer Larry David makes an
uncredited cameo as a guy who sells George a pack of gum.
- "The
Rye"
gs: Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ], Warren Frost
[ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Jeff Yagher [ John ], Frances Bay [ Mabel
Choate ], Leonard Lightfoot [ Clyde ], Don Amendolia [
Dennis ], Kathryn Kates [ Counter Woman ], Steve Ireland
[ Music Guy ], Dean Fortunato [ Manager ]
rc: Estelle,
Frank, Susan
Elaine
is dating a jazz saxophonist who's sponge-worthy but "he
doesn't really like to do everything." Jerry tells one of
the members of his band that the saxophonist and Elaine are "hot
and heavy." Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans
of "Beef-A-Reeno.". Susan's parents meet and have dinner
with the Costanzas for the first time. Both families obsess
over a loaf of rye bread that wasn't served with the meal,
which Frank takes back home. Elaine's boyfriend writes a
song about "their relationship," which later has a big impact
on his career. Kramer takes over a friend's horse-drawn carriage
for a week and helps George out with his scheme to replace
the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of "Beef-A-Reeno" right
before giving the Ross's their ride. Jerry manages to get
his hands on a loaf of marble rye.
b:
4 Jan 96 pc: 711 w: Carol Leifer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: As
stated in "The Cheever Letters" both Warren Frost and Grace Zabriskie
appeared on David Lynch and Mark Frost's series Twin
Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member,
Frances Bay also appears in this episode. Coincidence? Viewer
Randy Erickson doesn't think so!
- "The
Caddy"
gs: Brenda Strong [
Sue Ellen ], Armin Shimerman [
Stan ], Arthur Rosenburg [ Judge ], Cynthia Madvig [ Woman
#1 ], Marilyn Tokuda [ Woman #2 ]
rc: Frank,
Estelle, Susan, Jackie Chiles, Wilhelm, Peterman
Kramer
befriends a caddy, who helps him to improve his golf game
and offer his other advice. George's bosses consider him
for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his
work that he is there in the morning before everyone else
and still there after they all leave. They don't know that
he's just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting
for his free visit from a locksmith. Taking advantage of
the situation, he and Susan go up north to her parent's rebuilt
cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who's heir to the Oh Henry!
candy bar fortune and has never worn a bra. She wears the
bra as a top and cause Kramer and Jerry to have an accident
with George's car. With George's damaged car in the parking
lot, the Yankees think he's dead. Steinbrenner breaks the
news to the Costanza's. Kramer and Elaine take her rival
to court and only Jerry may stand in the way.
b:
25 Jan 96 pc: 712 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Seven"
gs: Ken Hudson Campbell [ Ken ], Shannon Holt
[ Carrie ], Lisa Deanne [ Christie ], Charles Emmett [
Orderly ], David Richards [ Maitre d' ], Matthew McCurley
[ Kid ], Josh Abramson [ Man #1 ]
rc: Newman,
Susan
Elaine
sees a girl's bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying
to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises
the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day
and wants the bike. George is angry when Susan's cousin chooses
to name her baby with the name he planned to give his first
offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another
name. Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep
track of what he takes from Jerry's kitchen. Jerry is curious
when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every
time they go out.
b:
1 Feb 96 pc: 713 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Bryan Wagg noticed a blooper in this episode. When Newman
is sitting on the couch acting as an arbitrator he is wearing
his wedding ring. In the next cut back to him, it has disappeared.
- "The
Cadillac (1)"
gs: Walter Olkewicz [
Nick (Cable Guy) ], Annabelle Gurwitch [ Katy ], Bill Macy [ Herb ], Jesse
White [ Ralph ]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Susan, Klompus
Jerry
surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when
his last job really pays well. Kramer who now knows about
what Jerry makes says it will change their relationship.
It certainly changes his relationship with Elaine, she's
interested again. George reconsiders his engagement when
one of Elaine's friends tells him that she could have set
him up with Oscar winning actress, Marisa Tomei.
The cable company wants to see Kramer and he takes the opportunity
to get revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a
cup of coffee, even when Elaine's friend is in the hospital
with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling
funds to pay for his new Cadillac.
b:
8 Feb 96 pc: 714 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Cadillac (2)"
gs: Marisa Tomei [
Herself ], Walter Olkewicz [ Nick (Cable Guy) ], Ann Guilbert
[ Evelyn ], Frances Bay [ Mabel Choate ], Bill Macy [ Herb
], Jesse White [ Ralph ], Annie Korzen [ Doris Klompus
], Daniel Zacapa [ Power Guy (John) ], Golde Starger [
Bldg "A" ], Janice Davis [ Bldg "B" ], Art Frankle [ Bldg "C" ]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Susan, Klompus
Kramer
continues to play with the cable guy. George's obsession
with Marisa makes Susan suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in
Florida and tells him she wants to come and join him. Elaine
gets George Marisa's phone number and now he needs her for
an alibi (which involves her "boyfriend" Art Vandelay, an
importer/ exporter). Morty's ace in the hole, to keep him
from impeachment, is the woman Jerry stole the marble rye
from, but she doesn't remember him, at least at first. The
cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George's
meeting with Marisa doesn't go as well as planned and Susan
thinks he he's having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy
concedes defeat.
b:
8 Feb 96 pc: 717 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d:
Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Shower Head"
gs: Jay Leno [ Himself
], Ron West [ Dr. Strugatz ], Tim deZarn [ Salesman ],
Michelle Bonilla [ Waitress ], Angelo Di Mascio Jr. [ Man
]
rc: Newman,
Estelle, Frank, Helen, Morty, Uncle Leo, Peterman
Elaine
gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa.
Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman
fires her. Jerry parent's are in seclusion in New York while
biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries
to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads
in Jerry's building are being replaced with a new low-flow
model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads.
The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for
them in Florida, that gives Frank all the incentive he needs
to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her
opium addiction and finds a donor for her next physical.
Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at
the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for making
fun of the family.
b:
15 Feb 96 pc: 715 w: Peter Mehlman & Marjorie Gross
d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: On
19 Feb 96 as part of the Late Show With David Letterman:
Video Special II, Jerry and Jason appear doing a scene
about sandwiches. David Letterman interrupts
their dialog and put his two cents in, then Paul Shaffer arrives
and takes Dave back to their show. After they leave Jerry
quips to Jason, "What the opposite of Must See TV?" He
then points to where Dave and Paul were standing.
- "The
Doll"
gs: Mark Metcalf [ Maestro ], Kathy
Griffin [ Sally Weaver ], Mary Jo Keenen [ Deena ],
Monica Allison [ Stewardess ], Larry Braman [ Stage Manager
], John Lizzi [ The Other Guy ]
rc: Frank,
Estelle, Susan
Susan's
old roommate from college, Sally Weaver, gives Jerry a package
that she wants him to be careful with; which he is, but he
loses his own package in the process. Frank tells George
he is turning his room into a billiard room. Elaine tells
Frank about a man she saw in Tuscany who looks just like
him, Frank thinks it may be the cousin who stayed behind.
Kramer challenges him to a game where the space is a bit
tight. Jerry is enthusiastic about a new toothbrush, which
he is convinced Elaine must have. Susan has a doll that looks
uncannily like George's mother; she doesn't believe it, but
he does and it affects his performance. Jerry is going to
be on Charles Grodin's show with one of the Three Tenors,
not Pavarotti or Domingo, but "the other guy." Elaine goes
with him the studio, to replace an autographed picture of "the
other guy," for "the Maestro" that was damaged while they
were in Tuscany. "The Maestro" provides a new fashion for
Kramer and Frank while playing pool, and his baton is an
answer to the space problem in the billiard room. Susan's
roommate comes to town. She tries to help Jerry out by bringing
him back a better barbecue sauce and bringing a doll to the
studio for Jerry, which in her opinion, is much funnier than
the one Jerry wanted. Jerry has no material for his appearance.
b:
22 Feb 96 pc: 716 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Friars Club (a.k.a. The Gypsies)"
gs: Rob Schneider [
Bob ], Pat
Cooper [ Himself ], Samantha Smith (II) [ Hallie ],
Lisa Kushell [ Connie ], Robert Martin Robinson [ Maitre
'd ], Norman Large [ Detective ], Peggy Lane [ Waitress
], The Flying Karamazov Brothers [ The Flying Sandos Brothers
]
rc: Susan,
Peterman, Jackie Chiles
George
is happy because he has a three-month reprieve. The wedding
is delayed until June (just in time for the end of the
May sweeps and a cliffhanger!). Meanwhile he is also
excited because Jerry is going to go out with Susan's best
friend. He envisions their friendship in the future as being "Gatsby"-like.
Jerry is trying to get into the Friars Club, but loses a
jacket he "borrowed" for dinner there, at a performance of
comedic jugglers that was "worked on" by Susan's friend.
Kramer tries to duplicate the sleeping patterns of Da Vinci
and falls asleep at some inopportune moments; one of which
puts him put in the Hudson River. Peterman hires a deaf employee
and Elaine suffers the consequences, when she gets loaded
with some of his work. Trying to see how deaf he really is,
Elaine comes on to him, which Peterman overhears and tries
to help out their budding relationship.
b:
7 Mar 96 pc: 718 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Wig Master"
gs: Patrick Bristow [
Wig Master (Ethan) ], Harry Van Gorkum [ Craig ], Gina
Mastrogiacomo [ Prostitute ], Kim Chase [ Charmaine ],
Chaim Jeraffi [ Jiffy Park Guy ], Michael James McDonald
[ Jesse ], Pamela Dillman [ Salesperson ], Zack Phifer
[ Bob ], Shashi Bhatia [ Flower Girl ], Norman Brenner
[ Ian ]
rc: Susan
Jerry
uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his
looking at an expensive jacket. Elaine is picked up by the
clerk. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for
the touring company of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor
Dreamcoat." He also has found a parking lot that charges
$75 dollars a month; Kramer decides to put his car there.
Unfortunately, he leaves his apartment key there. When he
can't get his key, he is allowed to borrow a pink Cadillac.
Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. George discovers
why the lot is so cheap, he finds a used condom in his car
and is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan
approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with
Susan; she says she must be able to trust him and have no
doubts. Kramer stays at Jerry's apartment. Elaine has a walking
stick she lets Kramer have. Jerry tries to return his jacket,
but discovers that "spite" isn't a viable reason. Kramer
is allowed to borrow the back up "Electric Color Dreamcoat." Jerry
is put out, when both sexes assume he isn't in a relationship
with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig
Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With
all the parts put together, his new ensemble is a sight to
behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a prostitute
out of his borrowed car.
b:
4 Apr 96 pc: 719 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Kramer's
mug shot number is NYPD 331781-0404.
- "The
Calzone"
gs: John D'Aquino [
Todd ], Peter Allas [ Counter Guy ], Danette Tays [ Nicki
], Greg Collins [ Policeman ], Jane A. Johnston [ Todd's
Mother ]
rc: Newman
George
becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone
with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight
out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is
dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers
to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes
advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she
wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he
can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets
into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop
and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless
of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the
rain); Kramer helps out.
b:
25 Apr 96 pc: 720 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Bottle Deposit (1)"
gs: Brad Garrett [ Tony ], Brenda Strong [ Sue
Ellen ], Patrick Kerr [ Clerk ], Harvey Jason [ Auctioneer
], Larry Polson [ Homeless Guy ]
rc: Newman,
Wilhelm, Peterman
George
doesn't hear the details on an important project that Wilhelm
wants him to champion. Peterman wants Elaine to bid on a
set of golf clubs at the Kennedy auction, her ceiling is
$10,000; however, she gets into a bidding war with Sue Ellen,
the Oh Henry! candy heiress. Consequently, she spends a bit
more than she was authorized. Newman finds the missing ingredient
to make it cost effective in Kramer's scheme to collect used
pop bottles and cans and take them to Michigan where the
refund is doubled. Jerry takes his car to a mechanic, who's
fanatical about car care. Elaine meets Jerry to get the golf
clubs out of his car, but the mechanic, distraught over Jerry's
negligence, steals it. Kramer and Newman collect their bottles
and cans and hit the road in a mail truck.
b:
2 May 96 pc: 721 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Bottle Deposit (2)"
gs: Brad Garrett [ Tony ], Mary Jo Keenen [ Deena
], Rance Howard [ Farmer ], Nicholas Mele [ Detective ],
Karen Lynn Scott [ Farmer's Daughter ], Sandy Ward [ Pop
], Dan O'Connor [ Young Cop ], Bonnie McNeil [ Woman ]
rc: Newman,
Wilhelm, Peterman
Wilhelm
is delighted with the job George did on the project; however,
he has no idea what he did or how he did it. The detective
on the case thinks he's found Jerry's car, damaged beyond
recognition. It's not, and later Jerry's mechanic calls him
from the car. Kramer spots Jerry's car in Ohio. Steinbrenner
calls George into his office about the project report and
has him committed. Kramer ditches the cans, bottles, mailbags
and Newman in pursuit of Jerry's car. Newman finds a farmer's
house, complete with the proverbial daughter. The mechanic
throws the clubs and bag at Kramer's truck, allowing him
to get away. Deena is happy to see that George is getting
the help he needs. Peterman is stunned when he finally gets
the clubs, "Elaine, I never knew Kennedy had such a temper."
b:
2 May 96 pc: 722 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: Originally
broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
- "The
Wait Out"
gs: Cary Elwes [ David
], Debra
Messing [ Beth ], Allan Havey [ Policeman ], Diana
Castle [ Mrs. Zanfino ], Todd Bosley [ Joey ], J.C. Hertzler
[ Mr. Berger ], Nicole Tocantins [ Barbara ]
rc: Susan,
Mickey
After
George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple with
a rocky relationship, Jerry and Elaine wait in anticipation
of their inevitable separation. Elaine sports a new hairstyle,
starts driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer
starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight,
so tight in fact, that he can't get them off when he really
needs to. Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated
couple, which they do. George feels guilty about breaking
up the marriage and wishes to undo the damage. Jerry and
Elaine physically oppose this action. David returns the off-hand
remark to George in the presence of Susan. She tells George
she has to think about some things- he thinks it is his ticket
out.
b:
9 May 96 pc: 723 w: Peter Mehlman s: Peter Mehlman & Matt
Selman d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Invitations"
gs: Janeane Garofalo [
Jeannie Steinman ], Stephen Root [
Mr. Lager ], Victor Raider-Wexler [ Doctor ], John Riggi
[ Teller ], Sue Goodman [ Clerk ], Julie Clark [ Waitress
], Fred Goehner [ Delivery Guy ]
rc: Susan
As the
big day grows nearer, George and Susan order their invitations.
Susan lets him choose the cheap ones. George tries to think
of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking and Kramer suggests
a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry, thinking of a single future
with Kramer, nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by his
female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry thinks he is in love with
Jeannie. Kramer tries to cash in on a bank's offer of a $100
if one of their tellers doesn't say hello. Is "Hey," hello?
George tries the suggestions and strikes out. Susan begins
preparing the invitations. Jerry makes a decision. Susan
passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage;
later he has second thoughts. George finds Susan and the
gang meets him over at the hospital, where George gets the
news, he's out. Free at last, George makes another attempt
at Marisa Tomei.
b:
16 May 96 pc: 724 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: In
an uncredited appearance writer / producer Carol Leifer appears
as one of the bank employees. The scenes shot with the real
George Steinbrenner for this episode, were cut from the final
edit. It is reported that these scenes might be included
in an episode, next season. Steinbrenner reportedly missed
opening day of the Yankees' baseball season to make this
appearance.
ALSO
NOTE: "Is Seinfeld the Best Comedy
Ever? A Case is Made" was the title of a TV Guide cover
story for the week of June 1st through the 7th. This link should
take you to the on-line version. In the article Jay McInerney,
the author, makes his case for why he thinks it should
be. I for one, agree. He also lists out ten of the most
significant episodes.
In another article, Jerry talks about next season, future seasons and the
impact of Larry David's departure.
8th
Season 1996
- "The
Foundation"
gs: Janeane Garofalo [ Jeannie Steinman ], Bruce Davison [
Wyck ], Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ], Warren Frost [ Mr.
(Henry) Ross ], Joe Urla [ Dugan ], Susan Walters [ Dolores "Mulva" ],
Todd Bosley [ Joey ], Diana Castle [ Mrs. Zanfino ], Stuart
Quan [ Sensei ], Herb Mitchell [ Businessman #1 ], Robert
Louis Kempf [ Businessman #2 ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Larry
], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress #1 ], Peggy Lane [ Waitress
#2 ], Paige Tamada [ Clara ], Robert Padnick [ Willie ],
Ruth Cohen [ Ruthie ]
rc: Peterman
Months
after her death, George is ready to move on, but Susan's
parents want to keep her memory alive. Kramer becomes a karate
master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level,
but are lacking in size. Jerry runs into Dolores, you remember "her
name rhymed with a female body part" in "The Junior Mint", she suggests that they get together again.
Peterman has a breakdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine
in charge; a position she is reluctant to assume. Kramer
makes a speech that inspires Elaine to go and take charge
of J. Peterman. Inspired by a comment that Jerry made, a
foundation is established in Susan's name, which will take
up all of George's free time. Jerry and Dolores do get together;
however, when she hears why Jerry's engagement was broken
off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn't matured.
Elaine sees Kramer's opponents, vents her frustration and
takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research
breakups and the effect on future relationships. Kramer's
classmates meet him after class. George discovers everything
he lost when he lost Susan.
b:
19 Sep 96 pc: 801 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: This
episode was dedicated "In Memory of Our Friend Marjorie
Gross." Marjorie died from ovarian cancer earlier
this year at the age of 40, in previous seasons, Marjorie
was one of show's producers and writers. She was responsible
for "The Secretary", "The Fusilli Jerry", "The Understudy" and "The Shower Head." During her battle early in 1996 she wrote
an article titled "Cancer Becomes Me" for The New Yorker magazine
on what it is like to be dying from the disease. Thanks to
Jerry Balsam, Vince Gargiulo and Kenny Kramer for the information
on Marjorie's article. Marjorie also wrote some episodes
of the early 1980's comedy Square Pegs.
Viewer
Mike Hamilin notes that Kramer gets beat up by the kids in
much the same way (and perhaps the same set) as he did with
the AIDS' walkers in "The Sponge".
- "The
Soul Mate"
gs: Bruce Davison [ Wyck ], Tim DeKay [ Kevin
], Lisa Mende [ Carol ], Kim Myers [ Pam ], Rende Rae Norman
[ Ms. Baines ], Tommy Hicks [ Mr. Cross ], Jill Talley
[ Gail ], Jill Holden [ Lisa ]
rc: Newman
George
thinks the foundation lawyer thinks he might have killed
Susan, Jerry suggests using a method employed by Jerry Lewis
to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend and he consults
Newman for advice. Elaine's friends insist that she have
a baby, she'd rather not and meets a man who shares her ideals.
George leaves a running tape recorder in his brief case at
the next board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to
find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets
in the middle of Jerry and Kramer's relationship with Pam;
he bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession,
Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to
show her how committed he is to not having children. The
guys find out Pam isn't interested in having children and
they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the
bottom of what happened to his briefcase.
b:
26 Sep 96 pc: 802 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This
episode was dedicated "In Memory of Our Friend Victor
Wayne Harris." Vince Gargiulo tells me that Victor
was the assistant prop master for the series and he died
in August following a stroke.
- "The
Bizarro Jerry"
gs: Tim DeKay [ Kevin ], Kristin Bauer [ Gillian
], Pat Kilbane [ Bizarro Kramer (Feldman) ], Kyle T. Hefner
[ Bizarro George (Gene) ], Justina Vail [ Amanda ], J.
Patrick McCormack [ Leland ], Harry Murphy [ Office Manager
], Dana Patrick [ Model #1 ], Shireen Crutchfield [ Model
#2 ], Robin Nance [ Model #3 ], Mark S. Larson [ Bizarro
Newman (Vargas) ], James Lesure [ Office Worker ], Jason
Beck [ Bouncer ]
Kramer
uses a bathroom in an office building and just begins working
there. He is "TCB." Elaine sets Jerry up with a friend who
is very beautiful, but she has "man hands." George uses a
picture of her and passes her off as his dead finance Susan;
that gets him into the "Forbidden City" where high priced
models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and some of his friends;
they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer.
With Kramer working, George inside the walls and Elaine hanging
out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone.
b:
3 Oct 96 pc: 803 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewers
Taylor Lasseigne and Michael Haemlin note in this episode
that Kramer is seen working in this episode to the music
of Sheena Easton's
hit "My Baby Takes the Morning Train" was also
used in "The Voice". Mike also notes that George uses "Vandelay" in
this episode in his trick to show the picture of his deceased "fiance" to
the beautiful receptionist.
- "The
Little Kicks"
gs: Neil Giuntoli [ Brody ], Rebecca McFarland
[ Anna ], Joseph Urla [ Dugan ], Tim O'Hare [ Vendor ]
rc: Frank
Elaine
reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at
work. "Sweet fancy Moses" exclaims George when he sees Elaine
dance at a party she's holding for her employees. She wonders
why they've lost respect for her. Jerry gets 2 tickets to
a premiere of a film. Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket
for his friend Brody. Elaine thinks the loss of respect might
be due to George's influence, so she makes him off limits
to Anna, one of the women George talked to at the party.
That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry
and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who begins to make
a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home,
leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Jerry worries about
the implications when Brody likes him camera work and asks
him to do another film. However, he complains about the quality
of Kramer's work. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing
after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George,
which suddenly makes him undesirable. Brody won't meet Jerry's
demands for equipment; George takes on the challenge, but
gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets
him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes
a big hit on the streets of New York.
b:
10 Oct 96 pc: 804 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: It
was reported in Allure magazine that the dance
moves Elaine made were completely Lorne Michaels (noted Saturday Night
Live producer) own moves.
- "The
Package"
gs: Richard Roat [ Dr. Berg ], Fort Atkinson [
Dr. Stern ], David Purdham [ Dr. Resnick ], Heather Campbell
[ Sheila ], Ramon Franco [ Mailman ], Bari K. Willerford
[ Ron ], Shuko Akune [ Receptionist ], F. William Parker
[ Country Doctor ], Lynn A. Henderson [ Clerk ], Bill Gratton
[ Postal Official ], Susan Leslie [ Nurse ]
rc: Newman,
Uncle Leo
Elaine
has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite
her doctor -- patient relationship reputation. Kramer offers
Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two
years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the
photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery
of a package with no return address. George thinks that the
photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself
in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the
compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs
for Jerry's package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records.
Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound
of an explosion. Leo's stove has exploded but eventually
Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It contains his stereo
in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all
they must do is collect the insurance money from the post
office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo's nurse to try a diagnosis
for her condition. When that doesn't work she tries to get
Kramer to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion
of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store
and gets a surprising result.
b:
17 Oct 96 pc: 805 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Fatigues"
gs: Joseph Urla [ Dugan ], Ned Bellamy [ Eddie
], A.J. Langer [ Abby
], Katie Layman [ Cynthia ], Eddie Allen [ Doctor ], Gwen
McGee [ Janine ], Lynn Manning [ Blind Man ]
rc: Estelle,
Frank, Wilhelm, Bania
Jerry
is intrigued by the concept of his girlfriend having a mentor.
George prepares to give a lecture on risk management by reading
a book, but realizes that book on tape have spoiled him.
Elaine prepares to fire an employee, but when face to face
with him, she promotes him. Kramer runs a Jewish singles
night at Frank's Knights of Columbus hall. Jerry meets his
girlfriend's mentor, but she is dating Kenny Bania. George
discovers the blind can get any book on tape, so he plans
to fail an eye test. Elaine's recently promoted employee
has some startling new ideas. She plans to promote him again.
Kramer's party plans go awry when he has to cook for over
150 plus people. He needs to get Frank's advice on cooking
for the masses, despite George's warning. Elaine's promotional
plan backfires, when the rest of her staff quits. Jerry's
girlfriend sees Bania's act and loses respect for her mentor.
Elaine tries working with her employee. George figures out
an angle to get his book read. Jerry finds himself becoming
Bania's mentor. Jerry and his now ex-girlfriend get their
files mixed up; George speaks on Ovaltine and Bania on risk
management. Frank's cooking skills are reborn, until he sees
someone choking.
b:
31 Oct 96 pc: 806 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Checks"
gs: James Patrick
Stuart [ Brett ], Gedde Watanabe [
Mr. Oh ], Sab
Shimono [ Executive #1 ], John Bowman [ Teddy ], Jock
Plotnick [ Crew Leader ], George Wallace [ Doctor ], Toshi
Toda [ Mr. Tanaka ], Goh Misawa [ Mr. Yamaguchi ], Tony
V. [ Clicky ], Akane Nelson [ Executive #2 ], Cherie Hankal
[ Nurse ]
rc: Wilhelm
Elaine's
new boyfriend, Brett, is obsessed with designer furniture
and the song "Desperado." Jerry spots an umbrella
salesman using the sales technique he invented. The salesman
says it was someone else. Hundreds of twelve cent royalty
checks keep arriving from Jerry's brief appearance on a Japanese
television. Kramer warns George that the carpet cleaners
he hired are actually a front for a religious cult. Intrigued,
George tries to be converted, but they're not interested.
Kramer meets some Japanese businessman and he takes them
on the town and to the cleaners. He is a little confused
about the exchange rate. Brett delivers a large chest of
drawers to Kramer and thinks that Jerry might be jealous.
Kramer thinks the TV pilot that Jerry and George did would
be perfect for Japanese television. They pitch it to a couple
of Japanese TV executives. Elaine tries to find a song that
she and Brett can share. Kramer puts his Japanese friends
up at his place. They're sleeping in the chest of drawers.
Jerry caught in the rain meets the man in the street who
claims credit for the twirl. He also meets Brett who is convinced
Jerry is down on his luck. George gets the cleaners to do
the offices at Yankee Stadium where they find a new recruit.
Because of the humidity from the hot tub, Kramer's guests
get stuck in the chest. Jerry, with writers cramp from check
signing, uses a fire ax to open the chest. That scares the
Japanese guests and injures Brett who passes out.
b:
7 Nov 96 pc: 807 w: Steve O'Donnell and Tom Gammill & Max
Pross d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Chicken Roaster"
gs: Mark Roberts [ Seth ], Kymberly Kalil [ Heather
], Michael D. Roberts [ Ipswich ], Wesley Leong [ Clerk
], Christopher Aguilar [ Burmese Boy ]
rc: Newman,
Peterman
Kenny
Rogers Roasters opens in the neighborhood and the large neon
chicken sign beams right into Kramer's apartment window.
Jerry meets an old college buddy who he talks into missing
a meeting that it turns out was important enough to get him
fired. Elaine makes liberal use of the Peterman expense account.
Including a big hat for George, that he tries leaving at
the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to get a second
date with her. Elaine tries to justify her expenses to the
accounting department and needs the hat. Jerry's college
friend becomes "manager" of the chicken place. Kramer and
Jerry switch apartments; however, more than just the apartment
gets switched. Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny's chicken.
Elaine brings George to the saleswoman's apartment, dragging
George by the ear, in an attempt to retrieve the hat. Jerry's "friend" Bob
sells fake Russian hats, but it doesn't help Elaine. Jerry
demands his apartment back when he finds out Kramer is hooked.
Elaine goes to Burma in search of Peterman to get her expenses
authorized. George keeps scheming to get that second date.
The fake Russian hat has an impact on the chicken business.
b:
14 Nov 96 pc: 808 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Abstinence"
gs: Debra Jo Rupp [ Katie ], Brenda Strong [ Sue
Ellen ], Bob Odenkirk [ Ben ], Meagen Fay [ Mrs. Burns
], Tamara Bick [ Louise ], Alex Trebek [ Voice
of Himself ], Derek Jeter [ Himself ], Bernie Williams
[ Himself ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Larry the Cook ], Fern
Fitzgerald [ Ms. Wilkie ], Noelle Balfour [ Waitress ],
Kyle Gass [ Smoker ], Judy Kerr [ Woman ], David Letterman
[ Himself (uncredited) ]
rc: Jackie
Chiles
George's
girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can't have sex with her
for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten
his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career
day at his former junior high school, first he is bumped
and then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar
in Monk's and is asked to leave. He meets others on the street
who face his dilemma so he opens up his apartment as a smoking
lounge. Jerry's agent gets him an assembly at the school.
George's lack of sex makes his mind sharper. Elaine learns
how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine.
She uses George's technique to help him study to get his
license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles
to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior
high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting
advice, speaks Portuguese and prepares a presentation for
Jerry's assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against
the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He
gets a settlement without Jackie's input. George calculates
the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine's
boyfriend gets his license and leaves her sexless.
b:
21 Nov 96 pc: 809 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Andrea Doria"
gs: Tom Gallop [ Alan ], Ray Stricklyn [ Clarence
], Diana Bellamy [
Mrs. Ricardi ], Rick Hall [ Vet ], Carl Banks [ Policeman
#1 ], Barry Cutler [ Policeman #2 ], Kev O'Neil [ Waiter
], Ossie Mair [ Driver ], Fred Pinkard [ Old Man ], Rene
Weisser [ Ex-Girlfriend ], Brian Blondell [ Dog Guy ],
Theresa Mulligan [ Woman ], Florinel Fatulescu [ Stand
Owner ]
rc: Newman,
Estelle, Frank
George
is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into.
Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes
Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman
has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get
his apartment because the tenant association is going to
give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date
won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused
by the situation. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not
going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more
potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid
of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't
get the transfer to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold
that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine
for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee
thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers
his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper." George confronts
his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine's
blind date breaks up with her and tells she has "a big head." From
a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the
association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an
alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of
his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication.
He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning
to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment
begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about
jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer
to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry
offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient
for the post office. Elaine meets up with her blind date
and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George
and the survivor don't get the apartment.
b:
19 Dec 96 pc: 810 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Little Jerry"
gs: John Michael
Higgins [ Kurt ], Miguel Sandoval [ Marcelino ], Andrea
Bendewald [ Celia ], Kathryn Joosten [ Betsy ], Paul Perri
[ Detective Banner ], Al White [ Detective Udewitz ], Ray
Proscia [ Guard ]
rc: Morty,
Helen
Everyone
makes a comment about a bad check of Jerry's that is on display
at Marcelino's store. Through the Foundation, George gets
the opportunity to visit a women's prison. He is disappointed
when the facility doesn't meet his impression of what he
thinks a women's prison is. He does however meet a convict
that he decides to ask out. He enjoys the liberation that
dating a convict offers. Kramer gets a new pet, a rooster
that he names "Little Jerry Seinfeld"; of course he really
wanted a hen for the eggs. Jerry's parents find out about
the check and offer to send money. Elaine finds out her bald
boyfriend once had a fine head of hair. She convinces him
to start growing it back, but when he does he shows signs
of hair-loss. He begins to feel despondent. George's dream
relationship hangs on the brink, Celia's up for parole. Kramer
enters "Little Jerry" in a cockfight that if he wins, Jerry's
bad check will be taken down. George is a character witness
for Celia's parole hearing; he testifies to try keeping her
in. Jerry's bad check doesn't come down, because Marcelino
wants Jerry to do something for him first. Kurt seeks hair-loss
advice from George that causes him to propose to Elaine.
Jerry and Kramer train "Little Jerry" for the big cockfight.
George experiences "fugitive sex" when Celia breaks out after
her parole was denied. Celia is tracked down and Kurt is
mistaken for George. Marcelino brings a ringer in for the
big fight; Kramer tries to save "Little Jerry" but pays the
price.
b:
9 Jan 97 pc: 811 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Ben Nuckols offers this wild theory about this episode:
Here's
a wild theory. I think there might have been a TV industry "inside
joke" in "The Little Jerry," which was on in syndication
this week. I knew I recognized the name of John Michael
Higgins, who plays Kurt, from somewhere, and I finally
figured it out. He played David Letterman in the HBO movie "The
Late Shift." I checked the Internet Movie Database to be
sure. Of course, he looks completely different with his
head shaved. Here's the connection: when "The Late Shift" came
out, the real David Letterman complained that the actor
playing him had red hair. Higgins was scheduled to be a
guest on Letterman's show, but he was bumped, some say
due to Letterman's distaste for his portrayal in the picture.
Now, do you suppose it's a coincidence that Higgins was
cast as a character whose hair was a central issue? Elaine
glamorizes the hair color by describing it as "chestnut
with auburn highlights." Do you think Seinfeld was taking
a lighthearted stab at his buddy Letterman?
Offer
any comments to Ben at this email address (for as long as
it remains valid): bgn3f@virginia.edu.
- "The
Money"
gs: Sarah Silverman [ Emily ], Leon W. Grant [
Counterperson ]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Frank, Estelle, Peterman, Klompus
Jerry's
parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order
to give Jerry some money to help him out. They along with
Kramer suggest that Jerry might try a career move. Elaine
talks about her Peterman stock options and buys George's
coffee. He thinks she is sticking it to him. Jerry and George
talk about the money their parents might have. This piques
George's interest. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about
his girlfriend's post-sex bed habits. Jerry flies to Florida
to buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his
family's health history. Kramer works out a deal with his
girlfriend. Jerry meets with Klompus and agrees to pay $14,000
for it. George anticipating a big inheritance begins to spend
money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents. Klompus
has a problem with the car and Jerry returns to Florida.
Jerry's parents are still worried about him and wonder what
to do. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly
agrees to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer,
fearing a prowler (Jerry's dad), decides he can no longer
sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she
can. So he moves in with the Costanzas, who tell George that
they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular
position at Peterman, with no options. George and Elaine
try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida,
strapped for cash and credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac.
Kramer and Emily spend the night as an old married couple
in the Costanzas' house. The Seinfelds make a change in their
housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place.
b:
16 Jan 97 pc: 813 w: Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Dan Wyszomierski noticed an interesting sidelight to this
episode. "With all of Jerry Seinfeld's real-life ad work
for American Express (the card with 'no preset spending limit'),
I found it ironic that he made the excuse of 'maxing-out'
his credit cards when he was telling everyone why he had
to sleep in the Cadillac."
Another
viewer notes that Frank says the he and Estelle have slept
in separate beds for thirty years because of her Jimmy arms.
However, in a previous episode, George claimed to have sex
in his parent's bed. Did he push them together? How comfortable
would that be?
- "The
Comeback"
gs: Mark Harelik [ Milos ], Ben
Stein [ Shellbach ], Joel Polis [ Reilly ], Ivana Milavich
[ Patty ], Danny Strong [ Vincent ], Richard Livingston
[ Bill ], Charles Kahlenberg [ Fred ], Stan Sellers [ McAdam
], Peggy Mannix [ Woman ], Fatima Love [ Secretary ], Nancy
Linehan Charles [ Woman Executive ], Jeff Hatz [ Manager
(Gene) ]
George
has trouble thinking of a comeback to a comment made by Reilly;
he does think of one, but it's a little to late. Jerry buys
a new tennis racket from a supposed professional. Elaine
and Kramer discuss video picks. Elaine prefers picks by Vincent.
He prefers picks by Gene or his own. He watches his latest
pick and it makes him concerned about spending the rest of
his life in a coma. Elaine is intrigued when she receives
a phone call from the mysterious Vincent. Jerry discovers
that the tennis pro is a hack player. George comes up with
what he thinks is the perfect line and will listen to no
one else's opinion. Kramer makes a living will, with Elaine
as the executor. The tennis pro, fearing he will be exposed,
tries to bribe Jerry, including a rendezvous with his wife.
Elaine opts for another movie and makes Vincent angry. George
finds out that Reilly doesn't work for the Yankees anymore,
so he tracks him down to Ohio, where he plans to deliver
his line. Kramer finishes the movie he rented and discovers
it is possible to recover from a coma, he decides to change
his will. Milos' wife has no respect for him; he asks Jerry
to let him beat him in tennis. Elaine receives a phone call
from Vincent and she convinces him to let her meet him. She
is surprised by his appearance. Kramer goes into a coma after
being hit with tennis balls. Meanwhile, in Akron, George
delivers his line about "the jerk store."
b:
30 Jan 97 pc: 812 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: David
Owen Trainor
NOTE: Viewer
Jeffrey Abucay notes that Kramer should have known that you
can come out of a coma, after all he witnessed the event
occurring in "The Suicide". Viewer Mark Byerly notes that in an installment
of Ben Stein's diary in The American Spectator,
Stein reveals that in the original script for this episode
he was to play a role closer to Reilly, that is, as George's
adversary at the office. However, someone decided that Reilly
should be a younger, edgier character, so the character was
rewritten. Since Stein had been promised a part already,
the part of Shellbach was offered to him instead.
- "The
Van Buren Boys"
gs: Bruce Davison [ Wyck ], Christine Taylor [
Ellen ], Jed Rhein [ Steven Koren ], Tony Colitti [ Leader
], David Moscow [ Lomez Jr. ], Yunoka Doyle [ Lydia ],
Dublin James [ Maurice ], Justine Slater [ Melissa ], Michelle
Maika [ Kim ], Steve Hofvendahl [ Man ]
rc: Morty,
Helen, Peterman
Jerry's
girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone
else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews
candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. The candidates
seem over-qualified, until one comes in who is a lot like
he was. Elaine is going to ghost write Peterman's biography.
Kramer goes to Lorenzo's pizza, where he has an encounter
with the Van Buren boys. He accidentally flashes their gang
sign and saves himself. Peterman wants his day to day life
covered in his bio; the exotic adventures are for the catalog.
His day-to-day life is very boring. She tells him about Kramer's
encounter with the gang and he suggests buying the story
for his biography. George's scholar makes a change in his
plans that causes George to disqualify him from the scholarship.
Kramer sells Peterman all of his stories for $750 dollars.
Elaine is put at his disposal. To Elaine, Kramer's stories
aren't much more interesting. George and Kramer perform an
intervention on Jerry's relationship with Ellen. George's
scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George
to get the scholarship back. Elaine tells Kramer that he
can no longer tell his stories, since they now belong to
Peterman. Elaine tries to embellish Kramer's stories, but
Peterman finds the rewrites "too clichéd and obvious." She
tells him the real Kramer story that he finds much more interesting.
He tells Kramer he can have his stories back. George tries
to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his
parents in to get their impression of Ellen. He begins to
see the light.
b:
6 Feb 97 pc: 814 w: Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The
character name of Steven Koren is taken from the name of
Steve Koren who's on the production team.
- "The
Susie"
gs: Lee Arenberg [ Mike Moffit ], Shannon Kenny
[ Allison ], Megan Cole [ Peggy ], Jane Edith Wilson [
Woman ]
rc: Peterman,
Wilhelm
Kramer
decides that daylight saving time isn't coming fast enough,
so he sets his watch ahead an hour. Mike, the guy who once
referred to Jerry as "a phony," has become a bookie. Peggy,
a co-worker of Elaine's calls her "Susie." George is excited
about Steinbrenner's ball. He hopes to show off his tall
blonde girlfriend with a grand entrance. Instead, she says
she wants to talk. He runs away. "If she can't find me, she
can't break up with me." He really wants to make that big
entrance at the ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike
$100 for a bet he made on that night's Knicks game. Only
Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. In fact,
Kramer attends the game and gets into a fight with a key
player that causes Jerry to win his bet. Peggy starts talking
to "Susie" about Elaine's memo. Peterman hearing about the
complaints demands to see Elaine, Peggy and "Susie" in his
office; first thing in the morning. Mike can't pay Jerry,
so he offers to help him with his trunk problem, but instead
gets his thumbs broken for the trouble. Kramer breaks up
with George on behalf of Allison. Elaine makes it through
the morning meeting. Mike gets trapped in Jerry's trunk.
Elaine and Jerry, in his car, decide it would be best to
eliminate "Susie." George reconciles with Kramer. Elaine
delivers the eulogy at "Susie's" wake, much to the confusion
of Peggy. Kramer, with George, makes a spectacular entrance
at the ball. Mike escapes from Jerry's trunk and accuses
him of murder. The same fate befalls Elaine that befell George;
Peterman puts her in charge of a foundation in "Susie's" honor.
b:
13 Feb 97 pc: 815 w: David Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Pothole"
gs: Kristin Davis [ Jenna ], Jack McGee [ Ralph
], George Kee Cheung [ Owner ], Seraiah Carol [ Mrs. Allister
], Radmar Agana Jao [ Delivery Boy ], Walter Addison [
Man ]
rc: Newman
Jerry's
girlfriend uses a toothbrush that he had just pulled out
of the toilet. George shows of the new key ring that Steinbrenner
has given everyone in the organization, celebrating Phil
Rizzuto's induction in the hall of fame. Kramer complains
about the failing highway infrastructure, so he adopts a
one-mile piece of a highway. Elaine tries to order a new
Chinese dish, but she lives out of bounds. George loses his
keys. Jerry plans to secretly sterilize his girlfriend's
mouth. Despite his attempts, he just can't get past the vision
of the toothbrush in the toilet. George theorizes that he
may have lost his keys when he did a broad jump over a pothole.
Kramer works diligently to keep his part of the road clean.
Elaine schemes to get her Chinese food by moving into a janitor's
closet, located in the building across the street. A woman
who lives in the building begins to complain to her about
the cleaning up the building needs. Jenna finds out about
the toothbrush and sticks something of Jerry's in his toilet;
only he doesn't know what. Kramer's plan to improve his mile
of road doesn't go as well as he had hoped. Elaine has the
gang over for dinner in the janitor closet she's moved into
temporarily. George works to clear the pothole. Jerry breaks
it off officially when Jenna's toilet problem becomes to
much to bear. Elaine brings the garbage to the dump in Jerry's
car. Kramer spills the paint thinner on the highway. Sparks
hit the spill and Newman is at the heart of the resulting
fireball.
b:
20 Feb 97 pc: 816 w: Steve O'Donnell (I) and Dan O'Keefe
d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: According
to an appearance by Jerry on the The Tonight Show,
this is the 150th episode of Seinfeld. To make this appear
as the 150th episode, I've now split "Highlights of a Hundred" into two parts, no longer call it
a special and have integrated it into the guide.
- "The
English Patient"
gs: Lloyd Bridges [
Izzy ], Chelsea Noble [ Danielle ], O'Neal Compton [ Earl
Haffler ], Lisa Mende [ Carol ], Gene Dynarski [ Izzy Jr.
], Marco Rodriguez [ Guillermo ], Joseph Urla [ Dugan ],
Jill Talley [ Gail ], Jill Holden [ Lisa ], Todd Jeffries
[ Blaine ], Earl Schuman [ Izzy Sr. ], Edgar Small [ Sid
Luckman ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress ], Juan Garcia [ Jaime
], Jeff Miller [ Neil ]
rc: Helen,
Morty, Peterman
A woman
mistakes George for her boyfriend Neil, a guy who looks just
like him. This intrigues George; he wants to meet Neil. Jerry
is going to Florida to help his parents move. Kramer asks
him to pick up some Cubans from his cigar guy and also gives
him a T-shirt. Elaine and her boyfriend see "The English Patient";
she absolutely hates it and that makes her unpopular and
dumped. Jerry's dad gets the T-shirt, #1 Dad, that he is
very proud to wear, despite its small size. At his parents'
exercise room, Jerry meets Izzy, an 80-year-old man who can't
stand to lose; he challenges Jerry to a weightlifting competition; "It's
go time!" He throws his back out again and again. Kramer's
Cubans arrive; they're real people and not the cigars that
Jerry thought he would be getting. George is overly obsessed
with Neil, to the point where he is missing out on Danielle.
Jerry is back in New York, where Izzy has returned to see
a back specialist. Though Kramer's Cubans are really Dominicans
he tries to pass them off as "Cubans" anyway; it doesn't
work. Elaine's dislike for the film alienates her from everyone.
When she tells Peterman that she hasn't seen the film, he
immediately takes steps to correct the situation. Jerry meets
the rest of Izzy's family all of who are fiercely competitive.
He finds work for Kramer's "Cubans." Elaine still hates the
movie, but must go to the Tunisian desert to live in a cave
to save her job. Kramer thinks his unemployed Dominicans,
whom he educated about communism, are planning to revolt;
later they do. George gets a last word on Neil when Danielle
makes a decision between the two of them.
b:
13 Mar 97 pc: 817 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Richard McCormick notes that there is blooper in this episode,
when the audience behind Peterman and Elaine changes around.
- "The
Nap"
gs: Stephen Lee [ Conrad ], Vince Grant [ Hal
], Angelo Tiffe [ Delivery Man ], Jonell Kennedy [ Secretary
], Mik Scriba [ Bomb Squad Guy ], Terry Rhoads [ Father
], Sid Newman [ Old Man ], Kevin Keckeisen [ Brian ], Kyle
Sullivan [ Son ]
rc: Wilhelm
George
is tired and needs to take a nap while at work; he finds
the perfect place, under his desk. Kramer has taken up swimming,
but he finds the pool too constricting for his needs; he
begins swimming in the East River. Elaine's date is worried
about his back and hers; he sends her a mattress and she
gets the wrong idea. She gives the mattress to Kramer. Jerry
is getting new kitchen cabinets, but the contractor is constantly
asking him questions. George gets Jerry's contractor to make
some modifications for his desk, including space for an alarm
clock. Steinbrenner is in George's office looking for him;
he decides to wait for George to return. George gets Jerry
to phone in a bomb threat in an effort to get Steinbrenner
out of his office. After finding George under the desk, Steinbrenner
thinks he has ESP and would be perfect to meet the terrorist's
demand of a fitted hat day. Meanwhile, Jerry's contractor,
left on his own, has made a change in Jerry's kitchen that
no one likes. Elaine gets her mattress back when she gets
the right idea; however, Kramer has fouled it up with the
stench of the East River. Elaine's boyfriend discovers the
benefits of swimming in the East River. Steinbrenner hears
a ticking sound in George's office, thinks it's a bomb and
calls in the bomb squad. Jerry decides he needs his old kitchen
back. Elaine throws her back out trying to get rid of the
mattress. Kramer's river gets crowded and George finds a
new place to nap.
b:
10 Apr 97 pc: 818 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin d: Andy
Ackerman
- "The
Yada Yada"
gs: Robert Wagner [
Dr. Abbott ], Jill
St. John [ Mrs. Abbott ], Debra Messing [ Beth ], Suzanne
Cryer [ Marcy ], Stephen Caffrey [ Arnie ], Henry Woronicz
[ Father Curtis ], Monica Lacey [ Julie ], Ali Marsh [
Karen ], David Chandler [ Brian ], Virginia Watson [ Nun
], Walter Franks [ Waiter ], Jerry Maren [ Dad ]
rc: Mickey,
Whatley
George's
girlfriend is big on using the phrase "yada yada"; Jerry
says at least she is succinct. Jerry's dentist just became
Jewish and he is already making jokes that make Jerry uncomfortable.
Kramer and Mickey double date but they can't decide which
of the women is right for them. Elaine is a character reference
for a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells during
the interview destroys all hope of adoption. George drops
by Jerry's dental appointment. Mickey and Kramer continue
to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines
that his girlfriend might be leaving out some significant
details with her overuse of the phrase "yada yada." He gets
her to fill in the details and discovers more than he wants
to know. Jerry confesses to a priest about what he thinks
about Tim's conversion. George drops by Jerry's confession.
Kramer decides on the right woman and Mickey also decides
to make his a commitment. Tim hears about Jerry's dental
joke. After hearing Jerry's complaints about Tim, Kramer
accuses Jerry of being an "anti-dentite." Elaine lobbies
on behalf of Beth and Arnie and makes a sacrifice to try
getting them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for
help when her marriage is falling apart. It does and she
accompanies Jerry to Mickey's wedding where she reveals an
unknown side of her personality.
b:
24 Apr 97 pc: 819 w: Peter Mehlman and Jill Franklyn d:
Andy Ackerman
- "The
Millennium"
gs: Lauren Graham [
Valerie ], Louan Gideon [ Mrs. Hamilton ], Victoria Mahoney
[ Gladys ], Michael Laskin [ Minkler ], Bruce Jarchow [
Mooney ], Maria Cina [ Saleswoman ], Steve Koren [ Himself
]
rc: Newman,
Wilhelm
Elaine
gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping
at another similar store. Jerry notices that he is on his
girlfriend's speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium
New Year's Eve party two years in advance and he has some
strange ideas about what life in that year will be like.
George is "offered" a position as director of scouting by
the Mets. To get the position he must be fired by the Yankees.
Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry
obsesses about his position on the speed dial and then he
makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is planning
his own millennium party. George tries to make a big exit
from the Yankees organization; however, all his attempts
make him look better in the organization. The step-mother
of Jerry's girlfriend's confronts him over his #1 position
on the speed dial. Newman compromises with Kramer about their
respective parties, they will be combined; however, he only
has one condition, the next century must be "Jerry free." Elaine
discovers the clothing store she began frequenting is owned
by the same woman who didn't help her at the other store.
Kramer reluctantly agrees but then has misgivings and gets
Elaine to come back to his party. Elaine plans her revenge
on the store with Kramer's help. Jerry gets caught in the
middle of a speed dial war between his girlfriend and step-mother.
b:
1 May 97 pc: 820 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Bentley Roberts notes that Jerry incorrectly states that
Kramer and Newman's party will be one year to late, when
he should have said it would be one year to early.
Viewer
John Thorpe, says that Jerry was correct about his statement. "Newman
said he booked his party for the Millenium, which is January
1, 2001, but he really wanted to have his party one year
earlier, on 1/1/2000, which is when everyone else on the
planet (pretty much) will have Millenium parties. So technically,
Newman's party is one year later than the other parties being
celebrated, which will make his party, as Jerry said, "lame".
Therefore Jerry's statement is correct."
I on the
other hand, probably like most people, am confused about
the whole thing. Regardless of what is correct, I am sure
the marketing and media weasels out there will decide when
we start the next millenium.
- "The
Muffin Tops"
gs: Rena Sofer [ Mary Anne ], Melinda Clarke [
Alex ], Chaim Jeraffi [ Jiffy Dump Guy ], Sonya Eddy [
Rebecca ], Barry Kramer [ Bag Guy ], Elayn Taylor [ Book
Fan ], Paige Moss [ Girl ], Viola Kates Simpson [ Old Woman
], Jack Riley [ Rider ], Bunny Summers [ Rider ], Earl
Carroll [ Rider ], Norman Brenner [ Rider ], Reuven Bar
[ Foreign Guy ], Vince Donvito [ Passerby ], Chris Burmester
[ Passerby ], Deck McKenzie [ Man ], Victoria Fischer [
Bartender ], Keith Sellon-Wright [ Guy ]
rc: Newman,
Peterman, Lippman
George
watches a bag for a tourist who never comes back, so he starts
wearing some of the clothes. Elaine tells Kramer that the
stories he sold to Peterman were put into the book. Kramer
goes to the book signing, claiming he is the real "Peterman." George
becomes a tourist from Arkansas when he meets a beautiful
woman from the tourist bureau on the street. Jerry shaves
his chest and worries about it until he discovers his girlfriend
likes hairless dogs. Elaine eats only the tops of muffins
and she says that it is a million dollar idea, Mr. Lippman,
her former boss, decides to start a business. Kramer starts
conducting "Peterman Reality Tours" for $37.50 a piece. When
the muffin top business doesn't seem to be working, Lippman
asks Elaine for advice. She tells him that he must make the
whole muffin and remove the top from the stump, she also
demands that he remove the exclamation point from his sign.
The stumps can be given to the homeless. Only they don't
want them. In fact nobody wants them. Jerry continues to
shave his chest despite Kramer's warning about hair growth.
George "moves" to New York and takes a job with the Yankees.
Steinbrenner is led to believe that George is holding down
two jobs and makes a deal to trade George for chicken. Elaine
convinces Kramer to get rid of her stumps and he convinces
Jerry and his girlfriend to take his tour. Jerry's chest
begins itching from hair growth. Elaine hires "a cleaner" to
make the muffin stump problem go away.
b:
8 May 97 pc: 821 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Right
or wrong, NBC advertised this as being the 150th episode
of Seinfeld. Well we all have decided that was
wrong, they appear to be counting the two part episodes as
one. Jerry himself, on The Tonight Show when
he mentioned that "The Pothole", was the 150th episode. I've renumbered the
guide to agree with that scheme.
Viewers
who have taken Kenny Kramer's Reality Tour of the Seinfeld
sites of New York City will really appreciate this episode.
I have and I did. You can find out about the "real" Kramer's
reality tours at his web site. You'll find it linked here.
He is still conducting them, despite the fact that he has
also recently launched a campaign to get in the Democratic
primary for mayor of New York City. You can also read all
about that at his web site. And don't doubt that this will
end up in a future story. Jerry has already been talking
with Kenny about it.
Also viewer
David Lipke notes, what is the big deal with Kramer's chest
hair? We've seen Kramer's bare chest in the "The Pick" and more recently in "The Face Painter". For the sake of comedy I guess the production
staff forsook continuity. A problem with many television
shows. However, viewer Derrick Jones notes that Kramer was
likely showing Jerry a growth of hair below the abdomen,
after all Kramer said "I shaved there once when I was
a lifeguard."
Viewer
Ross Raniere notes that Tyler Chicken was supposed to be Tyson
Chicken at one point, but was changed to avoid any
legal entanglements.
- "The
Summer of George"
gs: Raquel Welch [
Herself ], Molly Shannon [ Sam ], Amanda Peet [ Lanette
], Joe Urla [ Dugan ], Victor Raider-Wexler [ Doctor ],
Peter Dennis [ Lew ], Tucker Smallwood [ Malcolm ], Wayne
Wilderson [ Walter ], Blake Gibbons [ Lyle ], Adrian Sparks
[ Man ], Jane A. Johnston [ Woman ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress
], Sue Goodman [ Clerk ], Neil Flynn [ Cop #1 ], Tom Michael
Bailey [ Cop #2 ], Denise Bessette [ Therapist ], Dave
Mandel [ Himself ]
rc: Peterman
George
discovers he has a severance package from the Yankees that
should last him about 3 months. He decides that he is going
to take the summer off. Jerry is going to the Tony Awards
and so is Kramer. Jerry has a real seat; Kramer is a seat
filler. Elaine critiques a co-worker who walks with no arm
movements and is accused of being "catty." Jerry's picks
up his date, only to find out that she has a man living with
her. Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical in which Raquel
Welch is the star. Elaine tries to work things out with her
co-worker, to no avail. Kramer uses his Tony as a ticket
into a place he really shouldn't be, Sardi's, where the producers
of "Scarsdale Surprise" have a proposition for
him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints
to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest
in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins
to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests
that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his
Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel
Welch from the production. Jerry goes on a date and needs
George to handle the invitations for Lanette's party. He
is not to skimp, this time. Kramer does his duty and pays
a price. A mad Raquel walking down the street gets into a
cat fight with a woman who she thinks is making fun of her,
Elaine. George gets distracted and slips on an invitation.
Twenty-two episodes later the gang is back where they were
a year ago, only this time George is the one in a hospital
bed.
b:
15 May 97 pc: 822 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy
Ackerman
NOTE: The
30 May 97 issue of Entertainment
Weekly featured Seinfeld. Click on the magazine
name to see the article on-line; however, I am not sure how
long the link will last.
9th
Season 1997
- "The
Butter Shave"
gs: Gordon Jump [ Mr.
Thomassoulo ], Kristin Davis [ Jenna ], Everett Greenbaum
[ McMaines ], Connie Sawyer [ Old Woman ], Matthew Fonda
[ NBC Executive ], Chris Parnell [ NBC Executive ], Frank
Van Keeken [ Vegetable Lasagna ], Shannon Whirry [ Cute
Girl ], Nancy Balbirer [ Woman ], Erica Y. Becoat [ Stewardess
], Torsten Voges [ Cab Driver ], George Georgiadis [ Cab
Driver ], Brian Callaway [ Passenger ]
rc: Newman,
Bania, Puddy
Not fully
recovered from "The Summer of George", George is using a cane to get around.
Jerry might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance
on a NBC Showcase that might lead to another pilot. He is
also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania's act is working,
only because he is following on Jerry's coattails, a time-slot
hit. Bania scores with big laughs and also gets one of Jerry's
ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on
vacation for a month in Europe with David Puddy. If he's
lucky he won't "come back in a body bag." Kramer finds butter
is a better protection for his skin after shaving. George
is hired for the job because of his use of the cane. They
think he is handicapped and of course he takes full advantage
of the situation. Kramer's skin feels so good with butter,
he takes to spreading it all over his body. Unfortunately
he lays out in the sun where he begins to cook. It's a long
flight back for Elaine and Puddy, who break up and get back
together, only to break up again. Newman, reading the cannibalism
themed story Alive!, finds the smell of a cooked
Kramer appealing. Jerry is informed that Bania is going to
follow him on the NBC showcase. George sprains his good leg
and Jerry discovers that George is a closet Bania fan. Kramer
tries to keep his skin moist but the baked in smell of cooked
meat is too much for Newman. George manages to keep up his
bluff until he tries to take on some old-timers. Jerry plans
to sabotage his own act, surmising that Kenny's act will
also bomb, but Kenny gets the last laugh.
b:
25 Sep 97 pc: 901 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer & David
Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This
episode was dedicated "In Memory of Our Friend Brandon
Tartikoff." Brandon was a former executive at
NBC who was responsible revitalizing the network in the 1980s.
Viewer Arthur Kleynerman reminds me that it was Brandon who
believed in the series from the beginning and was responsible
for keeping the show alive during the early days of low ratings.
Viewer
Jeff Holland notes that Jerry referred to Bania as a time-slot
hit, an obvious reference to any show that follows Seinfeld.
Will Veronica's Closet be
a time-slot hit? It worked for Suddenly Susan.
Time will tell.
Viewer
Taylor Lasseigne notes that the Sheena Easton hit "My
Baby Takes the Morning Train" was also used in "The Bizarro Jerry".
- "The
Voice"
gs: Gordon Jump [ Mr. Thomassoulo ], Sara Rose
Peterson [ Claire ], Jarrad Paul [ Darin ], Ella Joyce [ Dean
Jones ], Nancy Balbirer [ Alice ], Brian J. Williams [
Glenn ], Cindy Lu [ Worker ]
rc: Puddy
George's
employer wants to get rid of him, since they now know he
isn't really handicapped and they don't like him. He has
a one year contract with Play Now that he will make sure
they honor by him showing up for work every day. Jerry and
George mock the sounds the Jerry's girlfriend Claire's stomach
makes during the night. Jerry envisions the belly button
as the mouth and the sound the stomach makes its voice. Because
of the "bump into" Jerry tells Elaine that she is destined
to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she
bets him $50 that she won't. The next day Jerry discovers
that Elaine didn't go home last night, he accuses her of
seeing Puddy. She says the sex they had was an isolated incident.
Jerry agrees but the dinner they also had was more of a commitment,
he demands that she pay up. Kramer is tired of seeing all
his ideas implemented, because all the little day to day
incidental things keeps getting in his way and keeping him
realizing his ideas. He gets an intern from NYU to help him
out with Kramerica Industries, the corporation he had previously
setup to develop some of his ideas. With this help he'll
be freed from the day to day activities and be able to develop
his ideas, such as the oil tanker bladder. Meanwhile, George
is fighting the siege mentality that he is encountering at
work and Elaine just can't get Puddy off her mind. No matter
what the obstacle, George endeavors to occupy his office.
Jerry tells Claire about the voice and she leaves him. The
university takes Kramer's intern away from him. Claire says
they can get back together if he won't do the voice ever
again, he decides the voice is worth it. Unfortunately, everyone
is tired off the voice. Elaine pays ups and they decided
on a double or nothing bet. The intern comes back on his
own because he believes in Kramerica. Play Now tries to negotiate
with George, but he won't give in. Later, he offers his office
and one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer to test his
oil bladder idea. Jerry continues to cash in on his bet with
Elaine, who just can't seem to keep away from Puddy. The
big test takes place at George's workplace where Jerry plans
to meet Claire. They try to warn her about the falling object,
but all she hears is the voice. The lawsuit that is filed
by Claire puts Play Now out of business and George out of
his contract.
b:
2 Oct 97 pc: 902 w: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer & David
Mandel d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Taylor Lasseigne notes that Kramerica Industries was first
mentioned in "Male Unbonding" in conjunction with Kramer's pizza idea.
- "The
Serenity Now"
gs: Lori Loughlin [ Patty ], Ross Malinger [ Adam
], Matt McCoy [ Lloyd Braun ], Bruce Mahler [ Rabbi Glickman
]
rc: Frank,
Estelle, Lippman
Frank
is supposed to say "serenity now" every time his blood pressure
is in danger of going up. Jerry's girlfriend gives his Knicks
tickets away. She comments that she has never seen him get "real
mad." George gets Kramer to help him fix his parents' screen
door. They remove the old door and Kramer takes it with him.
Frank is selling computers; he wants to bring George into
his business. Lippman's boy tries taking advantage of becoming
a man at his bar mitzvah by using his tongue while kissing
Elaine. Kramer installs the screen door outside his apartment
to give his apartment "the cool even breezes of Anytown,
USA." His initial instinct is to quit, but George decides
it is finally time to take on his arch-nemesis, Lloyd Braun,
whom Frank has also hired to sell computers. When Jerry learns
how to get mad, it releases all his other feelings, including
caring and another that results in a proposal. Kramer fights
with the neighborhood kids of "Anytown, USA." George tells
Elaine she is attractive to the Lippman men because of her "shiksappeal." The
result gets her two Lippman "men" who want to denounce their
religion. George hatches a scheme to sell more computers;
however, continual use of the phrase "serenity now" has an "impact" on
computer sales. The release of emotions from George has an
impact on emotional Jerry. Elaine seeks help from a "rabbi" to see if she can reduce her "shiksappeal."
b:
9 Oct 97 pc: 903 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Will Hines notes that George tries to sell Jerry a computer.
I'll add that the type of computer Jerry has been using has
long been a topic of discussion on the alt.tv.seinfeld newsgroup. He also tries to
sell computers to "Art Vandelay."
- "The
Blood"
gs: Kellie Waymire [ Vivian ], Audrey Kissel [
Tara ], Colton James [ Jimmy ], Gene Dynarski [ Izzy Jr.
], Yvonne Farrow [ Employee ], Lloyd Bridges [ Izzy ]
rc: Newman,
Morty, Helen
Jerry's
parents are concerned about his lack of exercise. Elaine
visits her friend Vivian and is disappointed when Vivian
implies that she isn't responsible enough to watch her son
Jimmy. George's girlfriend lights some vanilla scented incense.
The overpowering scent makes him hungry. He decides he needs
to add food as a part of his sex life. His girlfriend tolerates
some food items, but not the "salted cured meats." He also
comes up with a way to separate pudding skin from the pudding,
creating pudding skin singles. Kramer has been storing his
blood at a blood bank that begins to raise their rates. In
retaliation he decides that he is going to store the blood
himself. Jerry starts a purification program to improve his
diet. Vivian decides that Kramer would be a good choice for
a baby-sitter; however, Elaine intercepts him en-route and
proves her responsibility. Jerry becomes the victim of an
Exacto knife wound and winds up with three pints of Kramer
blood. Jerry is disturbed by the infusion of Kramer blood.
Especially when Kramer calls him a blood brother. George
decides that adding television to his equation will make
food and sex even better. Jerry's parents buy him sessions
with personal trainer, Izzy, who's going to help him work
off his spare tire. Elaine hates her new responsibility,
so she tries to make herself appear irresponsible. George's
girlfriend doesn't like television in the equation, the "free
love buffet" is over. Elaine tries to get out of being responsible,
by using George as a "pinch weasel"; however, he may have
found the woman of his dreams. Kramer borrows Jerry's air-conditioned
car to return his blood to the bank. The car overheats because
the radiator is bone dry, but not for long. Jerry's last
workout with Izzy results in another transfusion of blood,
only this time it's not Kramer's.
b:
16 Oct 97 pc: 904 w: Dan O'Keefe d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Jeremy DeMai notes that George sheepishly replies "Pleasuring
you?" to his girlfriend the way he did to another girlfriend
in "The Fusilli Jerry" before he learned about "the move" from
Jerry.
- "The
Junk Mail"
gs: Laurie Taylor-Williams [ Rhisa ], Toby Huss
[ Jack ], Dana Gould [ Frankie ], Richard Kuhlman [ Man
], Montrose Hagins [ Old Woman (Betty) ], Peggy Blow [
Mail Clerk ], Clement E. Blake [ Dirt Person #1 ], D.A.
Johnson [ Dirt Person #2 ], Wilford
Brimley [ Postmaster General Henry Atkins ]
rc: Newman,
Frank, Estelle, Puddy
Jerry's
childhood friend "Fragile" Frankie promises to get Jerry
a new car because of a show he did for Frankie's car dealership.
George prepares for his weekly call to his parents. Kramer
plans his revenge on a company because of the over abundance
of catalogs they've sent him in the past month. Elaine is
back with Puddy, but meets the man of her dreams at the diner
and plans to keep Puddy in reserve until she finds out if
the new guy can "handle the workload." Kramer gets deluged
with more catalogs and plans to stop the mail. George's parents
cut him short on his weekly phone call. Jerry gets a van
and not the Saab he'd hoped for. Frankie reminds him of the
childhood dream they had where they got a van a toured the
country. George pops in on his parents and reminds his parent's
they didn't call him back, but they have to leave right away.
Kramer bricks up his mail box, but that doesn't stop his
mail from being delivered. Jerry plans to sell the van, Kramer
helps him out with the ad copy that cites interesting trades
considered. Kramer goes to the post office to permanently
cancel his mail. Newman confesses to him that no-one really
needs their mail but that there is a greater conspiracy at
work. George demands to know what's going on with his parents;
they tell him they are cutting him loose. George isn't ready
for abandonment, he plans to date his cousin as a means of
getting his parents involved in his life. Jerry determines
that the appeal Elaine finds in her new boyfriend comes from
some old commercial that he appeared in. Kramer wants Jerry's
van and offers Anthony Quinn's old tee-shirt as an interesting
trade. Elaine wants Puddy back, but is rejected by him. Kramer
uses the van to launch his anti-postal campaign. George's
cousin is into their relationship; however, George schemes
to have his parents catch him making out with her. Kramer
is captured and enlightened by the postmaster general. Elaine's
boyfriend gets his second piece of good news in one day,
his TV career has been revitalized and she is taking him
back. Jerry must sell the van after seeing what they saw.
b:
30 Oct 97 pc: 905 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Ben Nuckols notes that the closing of this episode was only
fair after all Estelle once found George pleasuring himself
in "The Contest". Of course, did everyone
else have to experience that sight!
Viewer
Burton Reibling, suggests that you watch the contents of
Elaine's wineglass in this episode.
- "The
Merv Griffin Show"
gs: Rick Hall [ Vet ], Brent Hinkley [ Lou ],
Julia Pennington [ Celia ], Arabella Field [ Miranda ], Jim Fowler [ Himself
], Wayne Wilderson [ Walter (uncredited) ]
rc: Newman,
Peterman, Frank (voice only, uncredited), Estelle (voice
only, uncredited)
Kramer
discovers the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in
a dumpster. George's girlfriend, Miranda, is disgusted when
George runs over some pigeons with his car. The pigeons have
broken their deal with the humans. Jerry is fascinated with
his girlfriend's old toy collection that she won't let him
near. Elaine's new co-worker is a real sidler, he causes
her to spill coffee that creates a stain that looks like
Fidel Castro. Kramer reconstructs the set in his apartment
and begins to conduct interviews of everyone who enters his
apartment. Elaine schemes to out-sidle the sidler who might
be sidling her out of a job. While George swerves to avoid
a pigeon, he hits a squirrel. Jerry schemes for an opportunity
to play with the toys. Kramer adds Newman as a co-host for
his show to help relieve the pressure of being a host. Miranda
insists that George pay for the special surgery required
to fix the squirrel. Elaine gives Tic Tacs to the sidler
to make him noisy, unfortunately the sound reminds Peterman
of an old Haitian torture. Jerry and George execute a turkey,
wine and home movie scheme in an effort to play with the
toys. Elaine is disgusted by this unconscionable behavior,
until she hears about the Easy-Bake Oven. Kramer decides
to change the format of the show, to "Scandals and Animals." On
the show, Jerry's girlfriend finds out about the schemes
and animal expert Jim Fowler is there with a hawk. George
brings the squirrel over to the set to get Jim Fowler's opinion.
Hawks like to eat squirrels.
b:
6 Nov 97 pc: 906 w: Bruce Eric Kaplan d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: A
rare episode, where Jerry's apartment is not featured.
- "The
Slicer"
gs: Marcia Cross [
Sara ], Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Larry B. Scott [
Arthur Milano ], David Moreland [ Mr. Parry ]
Elaine
is having nightmares and sleepless nights due to her neighbor's
inconsideracy. The neighbor is out of the country and has
left her alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m.. George gets a dream
job at a very badly run company, his new boss seems familiar
to him, then a photo in the boss's office reminds him of "the
boom box incident." Fearing that he might lose his new position,
George listens to Kramer's advice and plots to get hold of
the photograph and get it retouched. Kramer's dissatisfied
with the meat he is getting with his sandwiches, so he obtains
a meat slicer. Kramer suggests Elaine that she short circuit
her neighbor's apartment and blow the circuit breaker. Jerry
is going to go out on a date with a doctor that Elaine recommended,
but the date is annoying when the doctor can only talk about
saving lives. The photo lab screws up the retouching by eliminating
the boss from the photograph and not George. Jerry discovers
the doctor is dermatologist. George recommends a carefully
orchestrated revenge date. Kramer uses the meat slicer to
help Elaine feed the neighbor's cat; the power outage shut
off the automatic feeder. Jerry's revenge date goes well,
until he is reminded of the phrase "skin cancer." Elaine
is still using the slicer and finds it very handy, until
she tries to even her high heels. George goes back to the
photo shop to find they put the boss back in the photograph
as a cartoon. He now needs to obtain a new bare-chested photo
of his boss or find a new job, perhaps the Coast Guard. Jerry's
doctor date would provide the perfect opportunity for him
as she does skin cancer screenings. Elaine keeps the slicer
problem from Kramer by threatening him with seeing some circus
clowns. Later, Kramer goes to her apartment to pick up the
slicer; she fixes it and quickly shoves it out the door.
Kramer sees the dinged up blade and tries to get back into
her apartment, but he takes the knob of the door. Jerry has
developed an allergic reaction to something as hives have
broken out on his neck. Elaine discovers she is trapped inside
her apartment. Jerry goes down to George's workplace and
confronts the doctor about his hives. She leaves and Kramer,
in his white meat slicing coat, steps in as the skin cancer
doctor and spots a growth on George's boss. George gets his
bare-chested photo. Kramer wants to come clean about the
growth; George tells him he will tell his boss to see another
doctor. George's boss doesn't think it is a problem, a ten-year-old
photo of him shows the mole, it hasn't changed. He also relates
to George the story about the dumb guy on the beach with
the boom box. He mentions to George (as others have) that
he sure has lost a lot of hair in the past ten years. Despite
all of that, he gets to keep the job. Later, the guys keep
Elaine company as they wait for the locksmith to come and
open her apartment.
b:
13 Nov 97 pc: 907 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin s: Gregg
Kavet & Andy Robin & Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Kyle Westphal was the first to note that George says the
incident took place in 1989 and Kruger said the picture was
from 10 years ago. A difference of two years.
Jeff Holland
notes that Kramer again uses the name of Von Nostrand again.
He also used it in "The Nose Job" and "The Pilot (1)". Chris Peterson adds that Kramer also used
the name again when trying to obtain Elaine's medical records
in "The Package".
John "Snapman!!!" Thorpe
notes that at the end of the episode, George still appears
in the picture if you look closely.
- "The
Betrayal"
gs: Brenda Strong [ Sue Ellen ], Micheal McShane [
FDR (Franklin Delano Romanosky) ], Justine Miceli [
Nina ], Bart
Braverman [ Zubin ], Shaun Toub [ Pinter ], Noor Shic
[ Usha ], Jocelyne Kelly [ Model ], Brian Kaiser [ Postman
], Shelley Malil [ Usher ], Bill Lee Brown [ Partygoer
]
rc: Newman,
Susan
Jerry,
George and Elaine return from their trip to India that they
don't want to talk about. Sue Ellen calls the wedding off
and Nina doesn't want George or Jerry. George finds out that
Jerry slept with Nina and Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer
and FDR settle their score, a snowball with something extra.
Jerry "schnapps" Elaine to find out why George is so bitter
with him. Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George
and Nina arrive in India, where Elaine discovers that the
groom is someone she slept with and that they are the only
people from the U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer
is angry with Newman because he didn't use his birthday wish
to save Kramer from FDR. George "schnapps" Elaine to find
out the secret Elaine is keeping about Jerry and Nina. Elaine
buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at
her wedding.
Kramer
tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer
from FDR. Elaine finds that Jerry and Nina have just slept
together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen's fiancé who
try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after
all they aren't even going. Jerry and Nina suffer an awkward
pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his
birthday wish. Elaine's mail from India is an "unvitation" to
Sue Ellen's wedding in India to someone whose name seems
familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting
them up on a date and realizes he must where his Timberlands
every time he sees her. Jerry and George are walking down
the street and they run into Nina and old girlfriend of Jerry's
whom he never slept with. Kramer attends FDR's birthday and
FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the candles
on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India.
Two years earlier, Jerry tells George and Susan that Nina
might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head
with a snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter
(Pinter). Eleven years earlier, new resident Jerry tells
his neighbor across the hall, whom he calls Kessler (it's
the name on the mailbox), that what's mine is yours.
b:
20 Nov 97 pc: 908 w: David Mandel & Peter Mehlman d:
Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This
episode was shown backwards in the following fashion: all
scenes were shown normally, but they were shown in reverse
order with a caption indicating the time frame of the scene
in relation to the previous scene. Essentially the punch
line was delivered and the setup was shown later. The description
for the episode reflects the order in which the scenes appear.
This was an intriguing concept that forced the viewer to
pay closer attention than normal.
Andy Ackerman
won the Director's Guild of America Award for
this episode.
Kent Yoder
e-mailed me that Elaine's boyfriend named Pinter is an obvious
reference to that of playwright Harold Pinter whose plays
frequently reflect a logical nonsense. He said that Pinter's
well known drama, "Betrayal," deals with love triangles as
the scenes are performed backwards in time.
Kyle Westphal
notes that the part of the episode that took place two years
earlier would have occurred between "The Secret Code" and "The Pool Guy" assuming that Jerry, George and Elaine returned
on the air date of this episode.
Viewer
Rick Marshall wonders why Jerry, the one with the cleanliness
fetish, wasn't the character trying to avoid using the bathroom
while in India. He also wonders about the name Kessler appearing
on the mailbox, shouldn't it have been Buchman? After all,
after the broadcast of "The Virgin" we learned that Kramer had sublet his apartment
from Paul Buchman in the Mad About
You episode called "The Apartment". Did the writer's
forget about this little continuity detail? They cleaned
up after themselves for the original Kessler reference in "Good News, Bad News" but forgot about the crossover episode!
- "The
Apology"
gs: James Spader [
Jason (Hanke?) ], Megan Cole [ Peggy ], Kathleen McClellan
[ Melissa ], Jack Hackett [ Alan ], Michael Fishman [
Gregg ], David Dunard [ Leader ], Wayne Wilderson [ Walter
], Brian Levinson [ Andy ], Eric Simonson [ Friend ]
rc: Peterman,
Puddy
Jerry's
girlfriend walks around his apartment naked; she even eats
breakfast and plays Scrabble naked. An old friend of the
gang named Jason is going through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
and is currently working on step 9, where you make amends
to individuals for past wrongs. George is anxious to receive
Jason's apology for the humiliating neck-hole incident. Elaine
is offended when her co-worker, Peggy, can't tolerate Elaine's
germs, but easily tolerates the germs of other people. Kramer
discovers he's been taking too long in the shower, so he
tries to make some changes to his shower routine. Jerry comes
to realize there is good naked and bad naked, when he sees
his girlfriend coughing. Jason stops by the restaurant to
apologize to Jerry, but fails to apologize to George. George
confronts him later, only to be humiliated some more. Kramer
changes don't work out, so he asks for advice from Jerry
and observes the men in the shower at a health club. Elaine
confronts Peggy and gives her some germs. George tells Jerry
how he can show his girlfriend the concept of bad naked using
a belt sander. Kramer decides to live in the shower. George
talks to Jason's sponsor, who recommends that he attend a
meeting, only it's not AA, it's Rage-oholics Anonymous (RA).
Jerry executes George's plan. After doing his dishes in the
shower, Kramer decides he needs to add a garbage disposal
to bathtub. Kramer calls on Puddy for installation advice.
Elaine tells Jerry one of the problems with his body and
why a naked male body isn't attractive. Puddy tells Elaine
why her co-worker doesn't like her germs, she's a "germ-o-phobe," like
he used to be ten years ago. He accompanies Elaine on a visit
to Peggy to prove his theory. Jerry convinces his girlfriend
to put on her clothes; however, he can only picture her naked
and unfortunately she can only do the same with him. Kramer
cooks up a meal that he serves to Elaine, Puddy and the recovering
Peggy, only they all react badly when they find out the kitchen
was in the shower. Jason tries to apologize to George, but
it isn't quite what George had in mind so they both go into
a rage.
b:
11 Dec 97 pc: 909 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Kim Babij, noticed that in the scene where Melissa goes to
get the jar of pickles... they didn't quite frame the shot
properly because you can see the waistband of her skin-colored
body-suit.
- "The
Strike"
gs: Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Karen Fineman
[ Gwen ], Dave Florek [ Harry ], Kevin Hamilton MacDonald
[ Denim Vest ], Tracy Letts [ Counterguy ], Amit Itelman
[ Employee ], Stacey Herring [ Sandy ], Colin Malone [
Sleazy Guy ], Jerry Dixon [ Customer ]
rc: Frank,
Estelle, Whatley
George,
Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. Jerry
meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine
meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number.
George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in
his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus
holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest
to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich
is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the
party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer
gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it
seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine
goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her
fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number,
so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him.
The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her,
so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is
working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but
it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great,
other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle
and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach
when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes
up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued
by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank,
who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus
for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December
off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile
Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the
denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing.
Jerry
decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk's,
something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts
at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about
the sabotage he committed, the bagel place becomes very steamy
and makes Elaine look ugly. Kruger gives George a check for
donates $20,000 to the "Human Fund" and later accounting
informs him the charity doesn't exist. Gwen finds out from
Kramer that Jerry is seeing another woman, Kramer has seen
her and she's not Gwen. Gwen thinks Jerry is two timing her
with an ugly woman. George tries to convince Kruger that
he passed out the fake gift cards because he didn't want
to be ridiculed for the holiday his family traditionally
celebrates, Festivus. To prove it, George brings Kruger to
his father's Festivus dinner, where everyone comes together.
b:
18 Dec 97 pc: 910 w: Dan O'Keefe & Alec Berg & Jeff
Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Kyle
Westphal and I want to know, if everyone else at the bagel
shop took other jobs over ten years ago, who called Kramer
to let him know the strike was over and why didn't they return
to work as well? Rick Marshall reminds me there was probably
a union steward, who wasn't connected with the bagel shop,
but had Kramer's name on a list.
If George's
father hadn't celebrated Festivus in years, "Why did he still
send George a card?", asks viewer Miles Galfer. I'd suggest
that even though a person may not celebrate a holiday with
all the trimmings, it is possible they might just think to
send a card, especially if they want their loved ones to
remember happy childhood memories.
Sharp-eyed
viewer Dave Antonoff notes that name of the moving and storage
company on the side of van that "Denim Vest" got his number
from was "Azzari Moving and Storage". Since
the show's production designer is Tho. E. Azzari, Dave assumes
this "had" to be deliberate. I'll note that since he is the
production designer, he can have whatever legal will let
him paint on the side of the van, including his own name.
Viewer Shawn Barat notes that they also moved the couch that
Poppie peed on in "The Couch".
SPECIAL
NOTE: Around Christmas time, as everyone probably
knows by now, Jerry announced that this would be the last
season for Seinfeld. Many stories have appeared
since the announcement, talking about the future of NBC's
Thursday night line-up, possibilities for spin-offs, etc..
Even the New York Post called me to get to
my reaction to the announcement. I hear from friends in
New York that I wasn't quoted, perhaps my fifteen minutes
of fame are yet to come. Anyhow, the only thing we know
for sure at this point is that there are going to be 12
more episodes. Let's hope they can all be considered classics!
Recently
it was reported that the last episode would command greater
than Superbowl size prices for the 30 second commercial spots.
- "The
Dealership"
gs: Daniel Hagen [ Rick ], Joel McCrary [ Don
], Michael Kagan [ Willie ], Dee Freeman [ Service Assistant
], Rif Hutton [ Salesman ], Howard Mann [ Willie Sr. ],
Steve Susskind [ Customer #1 ], Loretta Fox [ Customer
#2 ], Catherine Schreiber [ Saleswoman ], Unknown [ Cab
Driver (uncredited) ]
rc: Puddy
Jerry
plans to buy a car with an insider deal from Puddy, who's
been promoted to a car salesman. George warns Jerry to watch
out for car dealers. Kramer takes the car Jerry is planning
to buy for a test drive with another salesman. Elaine returns
from a lunch with Puddy at Arby's. Puddy offers Jerry a "high
five." Kramer misses the turn to go back to the dealership;
instead, he plans to give the car a full test of a Kramer
daily routine. Hungry, George seeks out something to eat
and must settle for a vending machine candy bar. Only he
can't get one from the machine with a crinkled dollar so
he asks a mechanic (who he knows has a crisp dollar) for
assistance and is refused service. Finally, when he gets
the correct change, the Twix bar hangs. With his errands
run, Kramer's next test is to take the car to the limits
of its fuel tank. Irritated (when isn't he), George seeks
assistance from a salesman. When they return to the machine,
the Twix bar George had hanging and the one behind it are
gone. George suspects the mechanic. Elaine and Puddy have
a fight and break up. Jerry's insider deal is off. George
confronts the mechanic. Jerry wants George to help him get
a good deal; however, George is only interested in getting
back at the mechanic. The car salesman riding with Kramer
really gets into driving below empty. George tries to complain
about the mechanic, but gets into a debate about candy bars.
In an attempt to get a great deal on his car, Jerry tries
to put Elaine and Puddy "in a relationship today." George
sets up a candy bar lineup, to implicate the mechanic, only
to find his lineup being eaten. Elaine and Puddy get back
together and Jerry is going to get his deal, until Puddy
says "high five me" to Jerry, one time too many. Kramer and
the salesman, with the dealership in sight, decide instead
to go for it.
b:
8 Jan 98 pc: 911 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Jerry
Balsam notes this is one of those rare episodes where Jerry's
apartment isn't seen. Jeremy DeMai notes that this is the
second one for this season.
The role
of the cab driver was played by someone who seems familiar
to me, but I'm not sure where from. Since the role was uncredited,
I'm quite sure who it was. Can anyone offer a theory as to
the identity? I have a guess, but I want to hear other opinions
first. I know he is involved with the production, because
I saw him in the crowd with Jerry accepting The People's
Choice Award, that were given out the Sunday after
this episode aired. Seinfeld of course, got
the favorite comedy award. I wonder how they fair at the
following week's Golden Globe Awards?
On that
same Sunday, a new American Express commercial debuted featuring
Jerry and his hero, Superman. The voice of Superman is that
of Patrick (David Puddy) Warburton and Lois Lane is played
by George's girlfriend, Tara, in "The Blood". Too bad Teri Hatcher couldn't have played
Lois in that commercial! Also seen in the commercial
is Jack Larson, who
played Jimmy Olsen in The
Adventures of Superman.
- "The
Reverse Peephole (a.k.a. The Man Fur)"
gs: Jon Polito [ Silvio
], Pat
Finn [ Joe Mayo ], Jennette Robbins [ Keri ], Fitz
Houston [ Cop ], Joe Basile [ Delivery Guy ], Lauren Bowles
[ Waitress ]
rc: Newman,
Puddy
Puddy
is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry
and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on
a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their
friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because
he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman
are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord
wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides
to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea, he keeps
everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man
furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments.
Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr.
Zauis" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's
defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of
coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat,
after all she was in charge. George complains about back
problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet.
The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less
Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go
out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping
with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's
coat hanging in a tree.
Jerry
complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine
tells him about Peterman's small men's carryall. "It's not
a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the
gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying
the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds
out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to
her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give
up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The
landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat.
Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of
those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear
the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie
about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift,
when he finds out that Joe Mayo didn't like the music he
provided at last year's party. Kramer was never in the gift,
he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn't
even know Joe Mayo. George will be able to return the chair,
after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street,
George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in
the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen and the landlord
finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat.
b:
15 Jan 98 pc: 912 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Cartoon"
gs: Kathy Griffin [ Sally Weaver ], Tracy
Nelson [ Janet ], Joe Urla [ Dugan ], Paul Benedict [
Mr. Elinoff ], Bart McCarthy [ Cab Driver ]
rc: Newman,
Peterman
Kramer's
brutal honesty, gets Jerry in trouble with Susan's old college
roommate, Sally Weaver. Elaine obsesses over the meaning
of a cartoon that appears in The New Yorker.
Elaine and later Kramer comments that George's new girlfriend
looks a lot like Jerry. In fact Kramer says "just because
they look-a-like, that doesn't mean you're (George) secretly
in love with Jerry." Jerry confronts Kramer's frankness.
Sally claims that Jerry has ruined her life, she's quitting
the business, Jerry can't have that on his conscience, he
talks her back into the business. Kramer makes an important
life decision, the only way to keep his mouth shut, is to
stop talking. Before he finally stops talking, Kramer's constant
references to the looks of George's girlfriend, drives George
out of Jerry's apartment. Elaine goes to The New Yorker to
seek an explanation for the cartoon. Discovering that the
editor didn't understand the cartoon either, he liked the
kitty. Sally opens her new one woman show about "Jerry Seinfeld-
the Devil." Elaine's complaint, gets her the opportunity
to do her own cartoon for the magazine. Jerry confronts Sally
about the content of her show. Newman is her biggest fan;
finally, he can see a "show that is about something." Kramer
discovers the disadvantages of not talking. George worries
about why he really likes his girlfriend. A clip of Sally's
show appears on channel 9 news, it features Jerry's latest
confrontation with her. Elaine works all-night on her first
cartoon, it is okay, but it is not the gem that Elaine thinks
it is. Jerry calls Sally and the message he leaves on her
answering machine appears in her show as well. Later the
lawsuit he filed appears in her cable special. Jerry decides
to cut off all communication with Sally. Elaine's first comic
appears in The New Yorker. Peterman thinks it
is a great cartoon, until he realizes it is a Ziggy and
he can prove it -- "Quick Elaine, to my archives." George
and his girlfriend discuss their relationship, until she
gets gum in her hair. Sally starts talking to the silent
Kramer, until he can't take it anymore. He tells her to shut-up,
then he apologizes and says that he hasn't spoken for days.
Sally tells him to lay it on her. To remove the gum from
her hair, George's girlfriend cuts her hair, her new hairstyle
looks exactly like Jerry's. George runs out of the apartment
screaming. Elaine tells Jerry about the Ziggy incident. Ziggy responds
to The New Yorker. Sally's new cable show is
about to come on and Jerry is convinced she'll have nothing
to talk about. He was so wrong. George decides to take a
few days off from his relationship with Jerry.
b:
29 Jan 98 pc: 913 w: Bruce Eric Kaplan d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: Viewer
Jason Diersman notes that in Kathy Griffin's real life HBO
comedy special she had a bit about how Jerry Seinfeld was
rude to her when they were taping the first episode she appeared
on, "The Doll". This is possibly the genesis for the premise of
this episode?
Dave Antonoff
asks if the character Mr. Elinoff was named after production
assistant, Jed Elinoff?
- "The
Strongbox"
gs: Illeana Douglas [ Loretta ], Alex Kapp [ Maura
], Louis Mustillo [ Phil ], Nicholas Paul Walker [ Glenn
], Mary Scheer [ Ms. Smoth ], Bonnie McNeil [ Alison ],
Rosie Malek-Yonan [ Wife ]
George
tries to break up with his girlfriend, Maura, only she doesn't
agree. Jerry has purchased cuff links worn by Jerry Lewis in Cinderfella.
He plans to use them as a conversation starter with Lewis
when he goes to an upcoming roast at the Friar's Club. Having
the same first name isn't enough. A man of mystery that she
has met intrigues Elaine. Jerry suggests that perhaps he
is a super-hero. With robberies occurring in the building,
Kramer has obtained a strongbox to hold his valuables. He
needs to find a place to hide his key. A place that no one
knows, except him. His first place doesn't work. George lays
out all of the reasons that they should be officially broken
up, Maura still doesn't agree "to turn the key." Elaine gives
up on her mystery man when he runs from a woman that Elaine
deduces is his wife. She returns to Jerry's apartment to
find that his intercom is broken. So she shouts to him from
the street, about the mystery man, while she waits for the
opportunity to get into his building. Jerry inspects his
intercom, only to find Kramer's strongbox key hidden inside.
Kramer hides his key again. Jerry finds the key again and
decides to go down to let George in. While downstairs, a
neighbor who's forgotten his key and is unknown to Jerry
asks to be let in. Jerry denies him entry. Elaine goes to
the mystery man's shabby apartment and discovers he is poor
and on welfare. The woman he ran from is his welfare caseworker.
Jerry discovers the keyless neighbor, does in fact live in
his building, on the 5th floor in apartment 5E (!) right
next door to Kramer.
Elaine
tells Jerry about her mystery man's super powers. George
decides that cheating on Maura might be his ticket out. Kramer
lets Phil, Jerry's "new" neighbor, keep his parrot in the
hallway. Kramer also hides his key at Phil's. Glenn, the
mystery man, takes Elaine on a date in the alley. Jerry needs
his cufflinks for the roast, only to find out that Kramer
has locked them in his strongbox. The key to the strongbox
was hidden in the parrot's food dish, only now the parrot
is dead (from food poisoning) and buried in a pet cemetery.
George tries getting caught with the other woman, only both
women agree that they can work with George through this incident.
Elaine discovers that Glenn is, in fact, married. Kramer
and Jerry go to the pet cemetery to exhume the key, his neighbor
catches only Jerry. George asks what's in the cooler (strongbox)
as he easily opens it up.
b:
5 Feb 98 pc: 914 w: Dan O'Keefe s: Dan O'Keefe and Billy
Kimball d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: "New" neighbor
Phil lives in 5E, this is the number we have known Newman
to live in. We can justify this by assuming that some apartments
in the building may have been renumbered. However, it is
most likely that someone on the production team just reused
Newman's door for the set and didn't think to change the
number. Logically, it should have been 5C.
Viewer
Brendan Putnam notes that Jerry finally used his computer
again, for the second time in the history of the series.
The first time was in "The Stall."
- "The
Wizard"
gs: Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ], Warren Frost
[ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Samuel Bliss Cooper [ Darryl ], Edgar
Small [ Sid Luckman ], Vic Helford [ Tom ], Michael McShane
[ FDR (Franklin Delano Romanosky) ], Bahni Turpin [ Waitress
#1 ], Constance Zimmer [ Waitress #2 ], Jeanette Miller
[ Old Woman ], Murray Rubin [ Rubin ]
rc: Helen,
Morty
Jerry
buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present.
George receives a message from Susan's parents, the Rosses.
Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend
and that intrigues her (is he black?). George returns the
call from the Rosses; the Foundation is having an event this
weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his
house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a
Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about
coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe
her boyfriend is black. Susan's parents see George on the
street in the city, during the time he is supposed to be
in the Hamptons. Jerry is woken up early in the morning at
his parent's house and gives his father the "$50" organizer
that has many features besides a tip calculator. Later he
discovers that Kramer has moved down there, to join the other
retirees. Elaine laughs when Susan's parents ask her about
George's house in the Hamptons. Of course, George just builds
on the lie. Morty, who can't run for president of the condo
association, decides that Kramer should run for condo board
president of Del Boca Vista phase III. Once Kramer is elected,
Morty will run things from behind the scenes. Elaine schemes
to try to determine her boyfriend's race. George finds out
the Rosses knew that he lied. He decides to take them to
the Hamptons, to "see who'll blink first."
Kramer
begins his campaign and the Boca Breeze has
good things to say about him (see NOTE:). When Elaine's boyfriend
says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he
is black. George keeps building on his lie, as he picks up
the Rosses and takes them on their ride to the Hamptons.
Kramer receives some bad press from the Boca Breeze;
it's damage control time. Kramer suggests buying each member
of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Jerry knows
he can't get the deal he told his father he'd received, but
Kramer says not to worry, Bob Saccamando's father lives down
here and can help them out. Elaine and her boyfriend discover
that each is not the race they thought the other was. Saccamando's
father comes through with knock-off tip calculators called
Willard, they are defective and the election is lost. George
and the Rosses reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.
b:
26 Feb 98 pc: 915 w: Steve Lookner d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The Boca
Breeze also reports on Larry David's hole in one,
hurting his elbow and his never playing golf again.
- "The
Burning"
gs: Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Cindy Ambuehl
[ Sophie ], Henry Woronicz [ Father Curtis ], Ursaline
Bryant [ Dr. Wexler ], Daniel Dae Kim [ Student #1 ], Alex
Craig Mann [ Student #2 ], Brian Posehn [ Artie ], Alec
Holland [ Co-Worker #1 ], Suli McCullough [ Co-Worker #2
]
rc: Puddy,
Mickey
Because
of the presets she discovers on his car radio, Elaine thinks
that Puddy is religious. The first idea George presents at
a Kruger project meeting goes over great, his follow up suggestion
isn't as well received. Jerry suggests that George use the
old showmanship trick of leaving on a high note. Elaine tells
George and Jerry about her suspicions; George suggests that
she reset his radio presets as a test. Kramer and Mickey
get an acting gig playing sick for some medical students.
Jerry's girlfriend, Sophie, calls him with the familiar "it's
me" greeting only he doesn't recognize her voice. George
leaves a Kruger meeting on a high note. For their acting
job, Mickey gets bacterial meningitis and Kramer has gonorrhea.
Elaine confirms that Puddy is religious. Kramer picks up
on the showmanship idea and really plays up his gonorrhea
part. Sophie leaves an "it's me" message on Jerry's answering
machine. George suggest he call her back with the "it's me" greeting.
Sophie doesn't recognize Jerry's voice and thinks he is someone
else; Jerry discovers that she hasn't told him about the
tractor story. Puddy doesn't have a problem with Elaine not
being religious, after all he is not the one who's "going
to hell."
George
and Jerry speculate on what the tractor story is. Elaine
begins to worry about going to hell. Kruger throws everyone
off the project because they are boring, so now George is
the only other member of the project team. Kramer receives
rave reviews for his portrayal of gonorrhea, but now he feels
he has been typecast. Jerry sees a scar on Sophie's leg and
assumes it was from a tractor accident. George finds that
he has to do all the actual work on the project as Kruger
keeps making excuses and doesn't do any actual work. Puddy
wants Elaine to steal a paper, after all she is already going
to hell and he doesn't seem to care. Kramer takes Mickey's
ailment. Elaine and Puddy seek the advice of a priest about
where their relationship is going. Sophie tries to tell Jerry
the tractor story, but he tells her not to worry about it.
Kramer and Mickey come in arguing about getting gonorrhea
and Sophie clears it up for both of them. With that, Jerry
leaves on a high note. Meanwhile, back at the project meeting,
Kruger decides to leave George on a high note.
b:
19 Mar 98 pc: 916 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: This
episode was dedicated "In Memory of Our Friend Lloyd
Bridges" who had died since the last new episode aired.
Lloyd of course played the hilarious "it's go time" character
of Izzy in last season's episode "The English Patient" and this season's "The Blood."
A blooper
I noticed in the episode, when Elaine pulls away from the
curb in the teaser, where's Puddy in the background? This
is of course is the result of using stock footage as opposed
to going out and shooting on location.
Also,
in the episode of Just Shoot Me! called "The
Kiss" that aired before this episode, there was a reference
to Seinfeld in the form of a man saying that
he was "Kessler from 5B".
- "The
Bookstore"
gs: Jonathan Penner [ Zach ], Ted Rooney [ Crichton
], John Gries [ Rusty ], Sonya Eddy [ Rebecca DeMornay
], Merrin Dungey [ Cashier ], Kevin Ruf [ Security Guard
], Heather Morgan [ Server ], Lauren Bowles [ Waitress
], Mark Daniel Cade [ Walter ], Sloppy Joe [ Hobo Joe ]
rc: Newman,
Morty, Helen, Peterman, Uncle Leo
Kramer "hangs-out" more
than usual at Jerry's place. Jerry and George are at a bookstore
where George hopes to meet women and Jerry spots Uncle Leo
shoplifting. George takes a large book into the bathroom
with him. Elaine is at the annual Peterman party, where everyone
is anxious to know if she is going to dance again and when.
The bookstore makes George buy the book that he took into
the bathroom. Elaine didn't dance at the party instead she
and a man named Zach got drunk and made out at their table.
George suggests that she tell everyone that she and Zach
are dating, that way she won't be known as the "office skank." Kramer
and Newman plan to implement Kramer's idea for running a
rickshaw service in the city. They are getting a rickshaw
from Hong Kong, now they need to find someone to pull it.
Jerry confronts Uncle Leo about the stolen book. Uncle Leo
claims it is a right as a senior citizen. Elaine catches
her man with another woman. Kramer and Newman attempt to
interview potential rickshaw pullers from a collection of
homeless men; however, their first candidate takes off with
the rickshaw. George tries to return his book, but is told
the book has been flagged as having been in the bathroom.
Jerry rats out Uncle Leo at the bookstore.
Jerry
talks with his parents about Uncle Leo's theft and finds
out about his prior, the crime of passion of which his mother
will not tell him the details. His parents also inform him
of the senior approach; it is not stealing if you need it.
Elaine plans to use the cheating angle to protect her reputation.
Jerry tries to talk with Uncle Leo, but the only thing Uncle
Leo tells him is that he never forgets when he's been betrayed.
George discovers his book has been flagged in all the databases
as a bathroom book. Elaine's plan goes awry when Peterman
demands that she help Zach get off the "yam yam" by helping
him to quit cold turkey. Jerry has a nightmare about Uncle
Leo. Newman and Kramer discover where the rickshaw is and
Kramer loses the contest to determine who will pull the other.
George tries to donate his book to charity, but even they
won't take the marked book. When Kramer gets tired pulling
Newman in the rickshaw up a hill and lets it go, the results
are disastrous for Elaine's recovered "boyfriend" Zach. George
plans to steal a good copy of the book, so he can return
it to get his money back. Just as Jerry finds out from the
manager that the manager has been told that the store needs
to make a good example out of a shoplifter, any shoplifter,
as long as they catch him in the act.
b:
9 Apr 98 pc: 917 w: Spike Feresten s: Spike Feresten and
Darin Henry & Marc Jaffe d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Frogger"
gs: Julia Campbell [ Lisi ], Peter
Stormare [ Slippery Pete ], Reuven Bar [ Shlomo ],
Sam Shamshak [ Sal ], Wayne Wilderson [ Walter ], Mark
Daniel Cade [ Other Walter ], Jack Esformes [ Mike ], Melissa
Denton [ Kobe ], Oliver Muirhead [ Lubeck ], Drake Bell
[ Kenny ]
rc: Peterman
Elaine
is confronted with cake from two separate birthday celebrations.
She is tired of the forced socializing, so she calls in the
sick the following day. Jerry & George are going to their
old high-school hangout for one last slice of pizza. Kramer
was at the police station where he obtained some caution
tape used for crime scenes and also hears about a serial
killer that is on the loose in the Riverside Park area. At
the pizza parlor, George discovers he still has the high
score on the old Frogger video game. Elaine's co-workers
give her a cake to celebrate her return to work from being
sick, she refuses to take part in any future celebrations.
Jerry goes out with Elaine's friend Lisi, but she is a "sentence
finisher, it's like dating Mad-Libs." George
decides to by the Frogger machine, but Jerry asks him how
he is going to move it and keep it plugged in to preserve
the high score. (This pizza parlor has never had a blackout
in all that time? Sometimes with sitcoms, we must suspend
reality. Kramer discovers the last victim of the serial
killer looked a lot like Jerry. George works to find a solution
to his Frogger problem and Kramer volunteers the help of
a man he knows named "Slippery Pete." Elaine misses the 4
o'clock sugar rush she had gotten used to from all the celebrations,
so she decides to raid Peterman's refrigerator, where she
finds a piece of cake. She finds out from Peterman that the
piece of cake he has in his refrigerator is worth $29,000
because of its historical significance. The cake comes from
the 1937 wedding of King Edward VIII.
Jerry
is looking to breakup with Lisi, but discovers that she lives
in Riverside Park area. To avoid the serial killer, he takes
Lisi back to his place where she finishes one of his thoughts
that takes their relationship to the next level. Elaine tells
Jerry and George about the cake and she also tells Jerry
that Lisi is planning a weekend trip for them to Pennsylvania
Dutch country. Jerry fears that Lisi received the wrong message
as that kind of a trip is for a serious relationship. Elaine
tries to even out Peterman's slice of cake, but gets swept
up in the moment and finishes it off. George tries to coordinate
the movement of Frogger machine. Elaine looks for a replacement
for Peterman's cake, Kramer suggests an Entemann's cake.
Jerry goes to Lisi's apartment, where he tries to break up
with her. It goes on for ten hours, when he is ready to leave
he discovers it is dark out. After exiting her apartment,
he sees a man whom he fears is the serial killer and pleads
to be let back in. Peterman has his piece of cake appraised
at $2.19. When George finds "Slippery Pete" playing his Frogger
game on battery power; it is discovered there only about
three minutes of power remaining. The only available power
source is across the busy street and Kramer has run out of
caution tape. It's up to George to get the Frogger machine
across the street; however there is no chance of a high score
in this game. Later, Peterman shows Elaine surveillance videotape
of her eating and "dancing" with the slice of cake; he is
convinced that the age of the cake and its effect on her
digestive system are all the punishment she needs.
b:
23 Apr 98 pc: 918 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin s: Gregg
Kavet & Andy Robin and Steve Koren & Dan O'Keefe
d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Maid"
gs: Daniel Von Bargen [ Kruger ], Angela Featherstone
[ Cindy ], Anthony Crivello [ Maxwell ], Markus Flanagan
[ Charles ], Sam Whipple [ Phone Guy #1 ], Kyle Colerider-Krugh
[ Phone Guy #2 ], Steve Franken [ Brendan ], Davenia McFadden
[ Coco ], Damon Jones [ Watkins ], Chip Chinery [ Co-Worker
#1 ], Colin McClean [ Co-Worker #2 ], Anthony Mangano [
Fireman ]
George
searches for a nickname and decides on "T-bone". Jerry has
hired a maid to clean his apartment. Elaine suspects there
is more than cleaning going on. Kramer's girlfriend is moving
downtown (10 minutes by subway) to a different way of life.
Kramer tells Elaine he is having a fax sent to her apartment,
only Elaine informs him that she doesn't have a fax machine.
George makes a play for being called "T-bone" at work, but
a coworker gets the honor. Elaine gets home to find 57 messages
waiting for her, most of them the fax machine trying to deliver
Kramer's fax. Elaine catches Jerry kissing the maid. Jerry
confesses that he has a personal and work relationship with
his maid named Cindy. Kramer's girlfriend is gone and he
tells Elaine that he signed up for a food delivery service.
They're going to fax him menus for all the restaurants for
the next year. Elaine gets a new number and with it a new
area code, she really wanted a "changed" number. Kramer and
his girlfriend have a relationship by phone. George finds
out about Jerry and his maid. Elaine tries to give out her
new number to a guy, but the new area code scares him off.
George wants his nickname and confronts his coworker, Kruger
sees George's gestures through a window and it reminds him
of "Koko the Monkey." Elaine finds out a woman in her building
has died, she had a telephone number with a 212 area code.
When Cindy takes her fee but leaves without cleaning anything,
Jerry wonders what he's paid for. Kramer calls him "a john".
George
and Jerry swap information on their respective situations
at Monk's counter. Kramer returns from visiting his girlfriend
and reports the oddities he saw there. The gang tries to
communicate while sitting at Monk's counter. Jerry's maid
tells George that there is woman at the cleaning service
named Coco. George sees this as an opportunity to get out
from under this nickname. Jerry breaks up with and fires
Cindy. Elaine gets the dead woman's number and receives her
first phone call from the woman's grandson who hasn't been
told she's dead. Kramer breaks up with his girlfriend and
she throws him out. He gets lost downtown and calls on Jerry
for help. While going to rescue Kramer, Jerry is confronted
by his Cindy's pimp-like boss. He says that Jerry must pay
Cindy. Elaine convinces the grandson that his grandma is
dying, the boy calls 911. Jerry spots Cindy walking down
the street and tries to pay her but gets busted by the police.
Elaine's door is broken down by the fire department. Cindy's
boss picks up Kramer and it might lead to a new career in
cleaning. George gets out from under being "Koko," only to
get another nickname, "Gammy."
b:
30 Apr 98 pc: 919 w: Alec Berg & David Mandel & Jeff
Schaffer s: Alec Berg & David Mandel & Jeff Schaffer
and Kit Boss & Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Puerto Rican Day"
gs: Mario Joyner [ Lamar ], Dayton Callie [ Cabbie
], James Karen [ Mr. Canterman ], Helen Carey [ Mrs.
Christine Nyhart ], Yul Vasquez [ Bob ], John Paragon [
Cedric ], Jenica Bergere [ Leslie ], Monica Allison [ Gail
], Marcelo Tubert [ Father ], Armando Molina [ Amigo ],
Tom Agna [ Gary ], Tom Dahlgren [ Priest ], Bert Rosario
[ Man ], Raoul N. Rizik [ Parade Goer ], Scott Conte [
Sketch Guy ], Mimi Cozzens [ Mrs. Canterman ], Alison Martin
[ Lucy ], Marc Hirschfeld [ Ellis ], Chip Heller [ Policeman
], Bob Murphy [ Voice of Himself, Mets Broadcaster (uncredited)
]
The gang
tries to get back into town after leaving the Mets game early
in the 8th inning, the Mets are down 8 - 0. On the highway
they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. George
comments on a new movie he saw about the Hindenburg disaster
and the clever comment he made during a quiet moment after
the explosion. As they approach 5th Avenue traffic slows
down and music can be heard, they realize they have forgotten
about the Puerto Rican day parade. Elaine worries about getting
home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend
wind down. Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way
over to the right. They almost make it over until they reencounter
the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate
transportation. George bails out of the car when he spots
a theater screening the Hindenburg movie; he decides he wants
to repeat his glory. Elaine decides the cab she hired isn't
working, so she bails out of the cab, only to have it start
moving again and again. George's attempt to be funny at the
movie is undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser
pointers. Kramer suggests that he and Jerry abandon his car.
The laser pointer guy (a lousy prop comic) gets all the laughs
as George's line bombs and he is humiliated. Kramer cuts
a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to
the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns
to the car with the red dot of a laser pointer appearing
all over parts of his body. Jerry rescinds his apology wave
just as he is about to pull in the alley; Elaine arrives
back at the same spot in her cab.
Jerry's
apartment is seen, but no one is home. Elaine seeks an alternate
way home. Kramer seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over
to the parade route and looks for a way across. She leads
a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing
stand ala The Poseidon
Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale
and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist, to
get access to a bathroom. When he gets back he tells Jerry
about the Mets game. Soon after, Kal Varnsen (Jerry's alias),
is looking at the television in the apartment. George spots
the laser guy and plans a sneak attack. Elaine's route leads
to a dead end. George grabs what he thinks is the laser pointer
and gets ink all over his hands. Kramer accidentally sets
the Puerto Rican flag on fire and a mob of people, led by
the armoire stealing tough guys. Art Vandelay seeks the use
of a bathroom to clean the ink off his hands and runs into
Varnsen. Pennypacker joins them on the run from the mob.
Varnsen wants know who's watching the Saab factory. The mob
is watching it; however, they leave it in a precarious position.
b:
7 May 98 pc: 920 w: Alec Berg and Jennifer Crittenden and
Spike Feresten and Bruce Eric Kaplan and Gregg Kavet and
Steve Koren and David Mandel and Dan O'Keefe and Andy Robin
and Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: The
episode caused a bit of stir in the Puerto Rican community,
causing NBC to issue an apology. The controversy involved
the flag-burning sequence.
And now
Jerry Balsam tells me that laser pointers have come under
attack with legislation in NYC to make it misdemeanor to
improperly use one. This is probably a good idea, since laser
light can cause harm if pointed into the eyes.
Viewer
Jeff Holland passed these Seinfeld TV events onto me, so
I hope your VCRs were tuned up and taping.
All times listed are Eastern.
* May 7th Thursday CBS 7 am This Morning Something about Seinfeld.
* May 9th Saturday syndicated ** Access Hollywood Seinfeld Special.
* May 11th Monday A&E 8 pm Biography Jerry's life.
* May 12th Tuesday NBC 10 pm Dateline The gang gets interviewed.
* May 13th Wednesday NBC 7 am Today Show Cast members talk about favorite episodes.
* May 13th Wednesday ABC 8:30 pm Dharma & Greg "Much Ado During Nothing"
The couple plans to try having sex in public, because they believe everyone is home watching Seinfeld.
* May 14th Thursday NBC 7 am Today Show Jerry gets interviewed.
* May 14th Thursday CBS 7 am This Morning Seinfeld Highlights
* May 14th Thursday syndicated ** Regis & Kathie Lee Wayne Knight is interviewed.
* May 14th Thursday syndicated ** Judge Judy Kenny Kramer defends himself against a campaign worker.
* May 14th Thursday syndicated ** Oprah Farewell to Seinfeld, with Liz Sheridan & Estelle Harris.
* May 14th Thursday MTV 7:30 pm Celebrity Death Match Jerry Seinfeld vs. Tim Allen
* May 14th Thursday NBC 8-10 pm Seinfeld "The Clip Show" / "The Finale"
* May 14th Thursday NBC 11:30 pm The Tonight Show Jerry & JFK Jr. are guests.
* May 17th Sunday Lifetime 11 pm Barbara Walters interviews Jerry.
** Check local listings for time.
This is
just an overview of some of the stuff that was scheduled
to air during this final week. There are probably numerous
interviews, celebrations, etc. being carried by the local
affiliates, syndication outlets and the various entertainment
programs. No ATTEMPT will be made to document them all.
- "The
Clip Show (1)"
Jerry,
Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to the movie, but
Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories.
Featuring relationships (getting in & out), etc.
b:
14 May 98 pc: 921 w: Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Clip Show (2)"
More clips
are seen and finally the closing minutes feature a series
of bloopers and a musical montage that features the song "Good
Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by the band Green
Day, from their 1997 album Nimrod.
b:
14 May 98 pc: 922 w: Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: When
originally shown, both parts of this episode were shown in
a 45 min time slot. When this episode was rerun on 9 May,
the missing fifteen minutes of footage was restored, so future
airings in syndication will feature the "whole" episode,
less the 1 minute from each part that will be removed to
allow for extra commercials. At least now some of the clip
sequences make more sense, from some of the net postings
I've seen. My cable was out the night the rerun, so I have
yet to see this.
Of course
we have to ask the question, why didn't NBC just show this
in its complete form the first time? We are talking about
a television network, so we can't use logic. When they reran The Finale the following week, they allowed their schedule
to over run. Was it that important that the season finale
of ER start
at 10 o'clock eastern? These are of course, rhetorical questions.
- "The
Finale (1)" (45 min)
gs: Peter Blood [ Jay Crespi ], David Byrd [ Pharmacist
], Steve Carlson [ Captain Maddox ], David Dunard [ Guard
], Donna Evans [ Woman ], Geoffrey C. Ewing [ Bailiff ],
Warren Frost [ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Keith Hernandez [ Himself
], Scott Jaeck [ Officer Vogel ], Wendle Josepher [ Susie
], Robert Katims [ Mr. Deensfrei ], Scott Klace [ Guard
], Bruce Mahler [ Rabbi Glickman ], Ed O'Ross [ Det. Blake
], Kevin Page [ Stu Chermak ], James Pickens Jr. [ Det.
Hudson ], John
Pinette [ Howie ], Victor Raider-Wexler [ Dr. Wexler
], James Rebhorn [ D.A. Hoyt ], Peter Riegert [
Kimbrough ], Geraldo Rivera [ Himself ], McNally Sagal
[ Carol ], Gay Thomas [ O'Neal ], Myra Turley [ Foreman
], Jane Wells [ Herself ], Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross
], Van Epperson [ Passerby ], Jeff Johnson [ Criminal ],
Sean Moran [ Man ], Dianne Turley Travis [ Receptionist
], Jim Zulevic [ Bernie ]
rc: Newman,
Frank, Estelle, Helen, Morty, Bania, Uncle Leo, Jackie Chiles,
Peterman, Puddy, Mickey
Jerry
and George discuss the movies and George's desire to get
his fifteen minutes of fame. Kramer is off to the beach.
Elaine calls a friend, whose father is in the hospital, with
her cell phone; Jerry and George tell her that is a social
faux pas. Jerry gets a message from NBC that they want to
talk about the pilot. So Jerry and George go to meet with
the new vice president of programming, who is interested
in turning their pilot into a 13 episode series. Jerry and
George begin to make plans to move to California. Jerry interrupts
Elaine's phone call to her friend to tell her about the NBC
deal. When he finds out what she did, he tells her that was
an even greater faux pas than the cell phone. Jerry and George's
parents are excited by the news about the NBC deal. NBC offers
Jerry & George a perk, free use of one of their private
jets to anywhere they want. Kramer returns from the beach,
but has a little bit of water trapped in his ear. Kramer
warns they'll never come back from LA, "she's a seductress". Hey!
He did.
The foursome
decides where they want to take the private jet. They finally
decide on Paris. As they are ready to leave, Elaine plans
to call her friend again; Jerry tells her it is not right
to rush that kind of phone call. Elaine avoids a faux pas.
Newman begs to be brought along, when Jerry denies him, he
vows to be there at Jerry's day of reckoning. The private
jet, except for George who wanted the one Ted Danson would
have gotten impresses everyone. With water still in his ear,
Kramer tries to get it out mid-flight. He stumbles into the
cockpit and the plane starts going into a crash dive. During
the descent, George confesses he cheated during "the contest" and
Elaine and Jerry are about to tell each other something important,
when the plane corrects itself. The plane puts down in the
small town of Latham, Massachusetts for a checkup. The foursome
goes into town and debates about if they are going to get
back on the plane. They witness the robbery of a fat guy,
which they all mock and Kramer videotapes. They are arrested
under the Good Samaritan law established by the town.
They are
looking at a fine of a maximum of $85,000 and up to five
years in prison. The guard assumes they are going to be prosecuted
since this is the first offense of this kind in the country.
Jackie Chiles is called in for their defense. The prosecution
decides to look into the past of these four and build a case
that will destroy their characters. Rivera Live covers
the trial. Jerry and George's parents prepare to go to Latham
for the trial. Newman (who's absolutely delighted), Uncle
Leo, Peterman, Puddy, Mickey, Bania, Mr. & Mrs. Ross,
Rabbi Glickman, Keith Hernandez and George Steinbrenner also
make their way to Latham. Jackie tries to give George a moral
compass. The judge, Arthur Vandelay, begins the trial. George
thinks the name might be a good sign. The trial begins with
opening arguments.
b:
14 May 98 pc: 923 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
- "The
Finale (2)"
gs: Stanley Anderson [ Judge Vandelay ], Frances
Bay [ Mrs. Choate ], Peter Blood [ Jay Crespi ], David
Byrd [ Pharmacist ], Tony Carlin [ Co-Worker ], Steve Carlson
[ Captain Maddox ], Melanie Chartoff [ Robin ], Brian Doyle-Murray
[ Mel Sanger ], David Dunard [ Guard ], Geoffrey C. Ewing
[ Bailiff ], Warren Frost [ Mr. (Henry) Ross ], Brian George
[ Babu Bhatt ], Philip Baker Hall [ Mr. Bookman ], Teri
Hatcher [ Sidra ], John Hayman [ Bubble Boy ], Keith Hernandez
[ Himself ], Carlos Jacott [ Pool Guy ], Scott Jaeck [
Officer Vogel ], Wendle Josepher [ Susie ], Robert Katims
[ Mr. Deensfrei ], Scott Klace [ Guard ], Janes Leeves
[ Marla ], Bruce Mahler [ Rabbi Glickman ], Wendel Meldrum
[ Low-Talker ], Sheree North [ Babs ], Ed O'Ross [ Det.
Blake ], Kevin Page [ Stu Chermak ], James Pickens Jr.
[ Det. Hudson ], John Pinette [ Howie ], Victor Raider-Wexler
[ Dr. Wexler ], James Rebhorn [ D.A. Hoyt ], Geraldo Rivera
[ Himself ], McNally Sagal [ Carol ], Miguel Sandoval [
Marcelino ], Reni Santoni [ Poppie ], Gay Thomas [ O'Neal
], Larry Thomas [ Soup Nazi ], Myra Turley [ Foreman ],
Jane Wells [ Herself ], Grace Zabriskie [ Mrs. Ross ],
Van Epperson [ Passerby ], Dianne Turley Travis [ Receptionist
], Jim Zulevic [ Bernie ]
rc: Newman,
Frank, Estelle, Helen, Morty, Mr. Pitt, Lippman, Wilhelm,
Bania, Uncle Leo, Jackie Chiles, Peterman, Puddy, Mickey
The videotape
Kramer made is played for the jury. When the NBC executives
arrive, George forgets about the trial for a moment and complains
loudly about the plane. The prosecution begins to call their
witnesses and each will do more to break down the characters
of the foursome. First, the arresting officer is called to
the stand, followed by the victim. Then the prosecution begins
to call a variety of familiar faces. Starting with the elderly
woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from. The virgin, Marla, is called to the stand and she
tells the court about the foursome's contest. Further testimony is given by the bubble boy. The woman who needed a handicapped spot. The doctor who was on duty the night Susan died. Sidra, the woman
with no implants. Mr. Bookman, the library cop. George's former girlfriend Robin, whose apartment
caught on fire. The security guard from the parking garage. A detective from when Kramer was dressed
like a pimp. The low-talker tries to testify (only she can't be heard). Steinbrenner
talks about calzone and George's communism. The man who runs the cockfights. The pharmacist who sold Elaine a case of contraceptive sponges. A co-worker tells about Elaine's Christmas card. Mr. Pitt tells about when Elaine tried to kill him
with a pillow. The soup nazi takes the stand
and finally Babu Bhatt returns to the US to tell about the cafe and his deportation. They are "very, very, bad."
Rivera
Live reports that the jury is in deliberation. Meanwhile,
the foursome speculates on life in prison. Estelle tries
to bribe the judge to be lenient on George if he's found
guilty. A montage of activity is shown while the jury is
in deliberation, that includes people we didn't see testifying
like the Rabbi, Wilhelm, Keith Hernandez, Bania, Peterman,
Puddy, Newman, Mr. Lippman, Poppie, Mr. Ross browsing for
a handgun and ends with Jackie Chiles "cross-examining" Sidra
outside the courtroom. The jury comes back. Jerry asks
Elaine what she was going to say to him on the plane as
it was crashing. She responds, "I always loved U-United
Airlines". The jury returns a verdict of guilty. The foursome
shows no remorse as they are sentenced to a year in jail,
for doing "nothing." Jackie testifies to Jerry about Sidra's
lack of implants. As the foursome sits in a prison cell,
Jerry comments about the second button on George's shirt.
A conversation they had nine years earlier on the 5th of
July 1989. Jerry closes with a prison-based monologue.
b:
14 May 98 pc: 924 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman
NOTE: One
of the jurors contacted me via e-mail with the following
observations, which I've paraphrased. First the jury was
made up of friends and family of the cast and crew. The front
row was made up of Dana Alexander (Jason's wife), Darin Henry
(Larry David's assistant), the mother of an unknown crewmember,
Carol Brown (the mother of Jerry's assistant), Spike Feresten
(writer), and actress Myra Turley as the Forewoman. The back
row was made up of the parents of the show's production accountant,
some production guy, Steve Koren (writer), the show's set
designer and Michael Richards' girlfriend. The courtroom
scenes took three days to film, with two verdicts being shot.
Hilarious interactions between Mickey and Bania, Newman and
Keith Hernandez, J. Peterman and Puddy were recorded, however,
they all fell victim to time constraints. I, as well as many
others, would love to see all this footage. A great idea
for a home video release.
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